Caverns & Cutie Marks

by TheColtTrio

Chapter 28: Aftershocks

Wits End opened an eye, closing it almost immediately as the light in the room set off something akin to a supernova inside his skull. “Everything is terrible,” he growled, pulling his cloak over his head.

“Are you alright?” Twilight sat next to the prone pony, an expression of concern on her face.

A mint-dappled snout poked out of the cloak, a single green eye glaring from under the cloth overhang. “What part of ‘everything is terrible’ makes you think I might be okay?”

Twilight frowned. “Sorry, but it’s time for us to head out if we’re going to reach the capital in time.”

The muzzle retreated back into its cave. “I hate all of the things.”

With a sigh, Twilight left the unicorn to recover. “Applejack, is everything ready to go?”

“Sure is, Twi.” Applejack grinned, patting the cart. “Ah double checked the supplies. We’ve got plenty to get us to the capital. So long as no-pony jumps us on the road, that is.”

“Okay captain, with armor like this, we can go all the way to Berlivery.”

The two mares jumped in surprise at the sudden appearance of Wits End, standing with the hood of his cloak pulled down to obscure all but his mouth. “I thought you’d need more time to recover,” Twilight asked, holding a hoof over her pounding heart.

“We are strong, you highness.” Wits End winced. “Just make the room stay still.”

“...It is still.”

Wits End was silent for a moment. “Well, thanks for trying anyway. We good to go?”

Applejack nodded. “Now that ya’ll are up and about. Are you good to go?”

The mint-colored pony waved a hoof dismissively, running a dry tongue across his lips. “I’ll be fine. Let’s get this show on the-” He paused, a look of discomfort on what little of his face was visible. “..road,” he finished, looking a little paler than before. “I’m gonna wait outside. Fresh air and such.”

The two mares watched as Wits End dragged himself outside, stopping to lean against the doorframe for a moment before exiting. “Is he alright?” Applejack asked.

Twilight sighed and shrugged. “He has all the classic symptoms of a hangover. Sensitivity to light, dry mouth, dizziness, nausea…”

“Nausea?” Applejack cocked her head. “He didn’t seem-” Violent retching and the sound of something liquid hitting the ground outside silenced the farmpony. “Never mind,” she finished. “Let’s go.”

Twilight nodded, following behind the orange pony. “It’s a shame we can’t spend more time here reading every book in this place. Still, I can’t wait to get to the capital,” Twilight said excitedly. “One of the books I read was all about it. Apparently, under the street, there’s a- AUGH.” The purple pony was pulled off her hooves by a field of golden light over the doorway, landing back in the library. “What in Equestria was that?”

“Twilight Sparkle has left the library,” Wits End said dramatically. “Twilight Sparkle has been saved.”

“What in tarnation are you on about?” Applejack asked.

“I dunno.” Wits End passed back through the doorway, helping Twilight back up. “If I had to guess, I’d say you’ve got something the library doesn’t want you taking out.”

Twilight’s face turned red. “I-I don’t know what it could be.”

Wits End pointed a hoof weakly. “OBJECT- Oh geez, that hurts.” He leaned in closer, poking her saddlebags with his horn. “Are you suuuuuuure?”

Twilight looked around nervously. “A-absolutely.”

“She’s lyin’,” Applejack offered.

“Thank you, Detective Gumhoof.” Wits End turned back to Twilight. “Empty your bag, ma’am.”

“Wh- I-” Twilight sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat. “Fine.” Her horn glowed as her saddlebags floated off her back, upturning and dumping its contents onto the ground.

Wits End picked up one of the many books, raising an eyebrow at the alicorn. “Really, princess? Thievery?”

“These books are one-of-a-kind!” Twilight exclaimed. “We’ll never find anything like these back in Equestria. What was I supposed to do? Leave them here in this abandoned library, where no-pony would ever read them again?”

“Twilight,” Wits End said flatly. “We’re in a game. The books don’t really exist.”

“...Oh.”

Wits End patted her on the back, leading her through the doorway. “Don’t worry. I’m sure Discord will make you copies when we’re finished. But to do that, we have to get to the capital.”

Twilight sighed again. “Fine. Let’s get out of here before I break down one of these walls to get those books.”

* * *

“And so, any attempt to create an object via magic alone only works for as long as the caster is concentrating on the spell.” Twilight finished explaining with a smile. “To make it permanent, the caster has to use up some physical materials.”

Wits End’s eyes lit up. “So it’s like Foalmetal Alchemist!”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Foalmetal… what?”

“Foalmetal Alchemist? Equivalent exchange? Known to some ponies as ‘the closest a story has ever gotten to perfect, and thus will be the standard to which all other stories are held to’?” Wits End saw the confusion on the mare’s face and sighed. “Ponykind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return.” His voice made it obvious he was reciting it from memory. “To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy’s first law of equivalent exchange.” He grinned. “Isn’t that an awesome phrase?”

Twilight’s expression screwed up in thought. “That’s… actually pretty accurate for summoning magic. Where can I find this… Foalmetal Alchemist?”

Wits End’s grin widened. “Oh, I’ll hook you up so good.”

“Ah hate ta interrupt ya’ll,” Applejack cut in, “but all Ah asked was if magic could help grow apples.”

The two magic-users fell silent. After a moment, Twilight cleared her throat. “Ponykind cannot gain apples without-”

“Yeah, that what Ah figured.”

Wits End chuckled. He fell silent for a few minutes, his expression turning serious. “Actually, I want to ask you two something.”

“What is it, Wits?” Twilight asked.

“Last night…” The mint-colored unicorn bit his lower lip. “Did I… Did I say anything… weird?”

Applejack glanced at him. “Ya don’t remember?”

“I remember bits and pieces.” Wits End thought for a second. “I remember singing the Ponymon theme. I remember something about cutie marks. I remember giving Twilight her stick.”

“It’s a wand,” Twilight interrupted.

“I just wanna know if I said anything… You know, embarrassing.”

Applejack tapped her chin with a forehoof. “Well, ya said some pretty nice stuff about not havin’ a cutie mark, ya talked about how yer friends are a bunch of softies, and ya said ya lie when its funny.” She looked at Twilight. “Did Ah miss anything?”

“Remind me to explain subtlety to you later,” Twilight muttered.

Wits End sighed. So I didn’t blow our human-ness, he thought. Good. I can’t believe I got wasted in a world of cartoon ponies.

“I was actually wondering,” Twilight was saying, “when you said that you lie, it didn’t seem like you had any real regrets about it.”

The mint-colored unicorn thought for a moment. “Well, why regret what’s part of who you are?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I guess ‘lie’ is the wrong word for it. I grab onto things I like. Personality traits, phrases, stuff like that. Then I integrate them into myself. You could call it a lie ‘cause it’s not who I was before, but it’s who I am now.” He smiled weakly. “Fitting for the Mimic, huh?”

Applejack narrowed her eyes at him. “So how’re we suppose to trust ya now that ya’ll told us that ya lie for fun?”

Wits End looked at them with an expression of utter non-comprehension. “Because you’re in my party.” He saw the looks of confusion on their faces. “You might have noticed that I’ve been tense ever since this whole game started. I’ve had,” he paused for a moment and chuckled, “I’ve had more of a stick up my tail that Twilight had.”

Twilight blushed. “H-hey!”

“But you guys made me loosen up last night. I need ponies to do that for me before I can trust them.” He smiled; an honest, unforced smile. “I trust you, so you can trust me.”

“So we’re friends now?” Applejack asked.

“I just said you’re on my party. Why are we still talking about this?” Wits End pulled his hood down, placing his peaked cap back on his head with a flourish. “You, Applejack, are my friend.”

Applejack blushed, remembering his teasing from the day before. “Well gosh, thanks.”

“And this purple pony,” Wits End continued, “with her book-thieving and her tail-sticks. She too is my-”

“Okay,” Twilight interrupted, “you have to stop.”

“Hold there!” A pair of dirty, bedraggled ponies stood in the middle of the path. The rust-brown pegasus drew his sword dramatically. “Stand and deliver, good gentlepon- YOU!”

Wits End blinked, staring disbelievingly at the two bandit ponies. “Oh, it’s the ‘they don’t have any bits’ guys! Daffy and Rocky!” He turned to his companions. “These are the guys who captured Fluttershy, Pinkie, and me.”

“It’s Bugsy an’ Mugsy!” the muddy-blue Unicorn shouted, nostrils flaring angrily.

“This is most fortunate,” Mugsy continued, glancing sidelong at his partner in crime. “We can capture the alicorn and recoup our losses from when the boss was defeated.”

“That’s perfect!” Bugsy agreed, drawing her bow. “Come on, you three!”

“I’m sure we can come to an agreement somehow?” Twilight asked, eyes shifting as she looked for the tell-tale signs of a combat encounter.

“Shut it, Ali-nag!” Bugsy growled. “Th’ only ‘agreement’ you’re gonna come to is the one where some shady noblepony pays us royally for your sorry flan-”

There was a sudden flash of light, followed shortly by a crash of thunder. A bolt of lightning crashed into the ground between the two bandit ponies, sending them flying off the path and into a nearby tangle of bushes and brambles. The two mares stared at Wits End, whose horn glowed with motes of brilliant violet light.

Wits End flicked his head to the side, sending a few remaining sparks of energy scattering around him. “No-pony talks to my friends like that,” he growled, walking passed the two stunned and twitching bandits.

“H-how’d you do that?” Twilight asked, trotting to catch up with the stallion. “That was a lightning bolt; one of my lightning bolts!”

“I figured out what Imitate Skill does,” he replied flippantly.

“Well?” Applejack asked, joining the two ponies. “What is it?”

“It lets me use another pony’s skill as a spell.” Wits End glanced over his shoulder, checking on the two entangled bandits. “I’m sure there’s some limits on it, but for now, whatever you can do, I can do… well, as well as you can.”

Twilight pondered this new information. “I wonder how that works. Is it a purely mechanical transfer of ability? Or does it imitate some part of whoever you’re copying?”

“Ah wonder how ya’ll would look copyin’ ‘Shy’s Stare,” Applejack mused. “Or Purple Heart’s Berserk?”

Wits End shuddered. “Let’s hope we don’t find out what that’s like.”
With a shock, Twilight’s eyes went wide. “Oh Sweet Celestia, I completely forgot about checking on the others! Make sure I don’t walk into anything!” She closed her eyes, letting her legs for on autopilot while she focused. “Rarity? Are you alright? Do you need help? We can be there soon if you’re still in trouble!”

“Yes, dear. We’re fine. There was a little panic for a while, but we got through it.”

Twilight sighed from relief. “Well, as long as you three are alright. What happened?”

“We had to do pair of challenges to help this golden unicorn. Purple Heart has to play some game against the group’s leader while Fluttershy and myself have to capture and tame some Timberwolves for a war band-”

“What?! Rarity, did we not just save a village from bandits?”

“Let me finish, dear. As of now, Fluttershy is trying to soothe this Timberwolf pup. We don’t know what we’ll do when she succeeds, but we certainly aren’t going to cater to the whims of these Bandits.”

Twilight’s expression grew grim. “Just be careful. Wits End’s been calling these things ‘side quests’, so if you need to, I think you can just leave without it causing any problems.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Twi. If worse comes to worst, we can always hide behind Purple Heart as he rages. Though I’d rather not.”

“That…” Twilight sighed again. “I’d rather you be a safe distance in that case. I’ll see you when we meet up at the capital. Just… be safe until then, okay?”

“Yes, darling. Talk to you later.”

Twilight shifted her focus to the other group, relief washing over her as she felt the connection establish safely. “Rainbow? You guys didn’t die to that golem, did you?”

“Huh, wha? Oh, hi Twilight. Nah, we managed to reduce it to size,” Rainbow Dash sleepily responded.

“Oh. Okay then, I guess… you guys are okay? Safe?”

“Oh yeah, we’re safe. We actually just got back to the road and are on our way. I was just having a little nap,” Dash paused for a yawn. “For having fallen for the trap we did, I think we came out just fine. I’d tell the full story, but it’ll be my turn to pull one of the loot carts here soon.”

“Alright. I’ll see you all at the capital.” Twilight closed the connection and opened her eyes. “Well, everypony seems- GAH!”
Wits End’s face was less than an inch away from the purple alicorn’s, a massive grin on his face. “Hi.”

“Get away!” She shoved the unicorn away. Wits End took two steps, almost regaining his balance before he stepped on his cloak, sending him sprawling to the ground. “Oops. Sorry, Wits.”

“I should’ve known better,” Wits End muttered, pulling himself back up. “Well, if everypony’s okay, let’s get to that capital.”
Applejack nodded. “Ah agree. Let’s get goin’.”

“Right.” Twilight pointed down the path. “Onwards!”

“To Grasstown!” Wits End chimed in.

“Ah don’t know what that means!” Applejack said triumphantly.

Author's Note:

Author: Wits End

Comments

[bluemoon1996]

Damn it applejack

[Luckyfanisaac]

“We are strong, your highness.” Wits End winced. “Just make the room stay still.”

Wits End shuddered. “Let’s hope we don’t find out what that’s like.”
(New paragraph)
With a shock, Twilight’s eyes went wide. “Oh Sweet Celestia, I completely forgot about checking on the others! Make sure I don’t walk into anything!” She closed her eyes, letting her legs for on autopilot while she focused. “Rarity? Are you alright? Do you need help? We can be there soon if you’re still in trouble!”