Caverns & Cutie Marks

by TheColtTrio

Chapter 92: Narrate the Mechanics

Light Patch peeked through the doorway of the records room. “Is all of this caution really necessary? Just go in, hit ‘em with your hammer a couple of times and we can move on,” Rainbow Dash shouted at the pegasus colt.

“Yes, yes it is. He’s gone from highly predictable to barely predictable.” Light Patch turned to face Rainbow and hefted his hammer. “Do you know how much one of these to the face hurts? Because I do. It’s a lot. So, excuse me princess,” he drew the words out and pitched his voice, “if I take the time to make sure I don’t get a surprise one to the face.” He was about to carry on but he was grabbed from behind and suddenly dragged into the room.

Wits End stared at the spot where the pegasus colt had been a moment before. “Well, he’s dead forever. Let’s move on to Bael and cut our losses.”

“It sounds like you’ve got a plan in mind,” Discord mused. “I think I’ll go and annoy Holdfast for a bit. Feel free to send Just Duty once you’ve beaten him.”

“What, you’re not sticking around?”

“I think I’ll be more of a hinderance when it comes to a paladin questioning the existence of his deities. T.T.F.N!” With that, Discord faded away like a mismatched Cheshire Cat.

Wits watched the toothy smile disappear. “Do you think if I leveled up again, I’d be able to copy that?”

“Shut up and let’s help him!” Twilight shouted, charging into the room. She disappeared through the doorway only to scream in horror on the other side, shocking the rest of the group into action and following after her. On the other side, they found a massive room full of massive shelves laden with massive books and an massive number of scrolls. But, to Twilight’s horror, books had been thrown around and scrolls littered the floor like fallen leaves, several showing signs of having been trodden over. The group could hear her muttering under her breath about the horror.

“Good, the rest of you are here as well. Get to searching,” Just Duty said from the shelves he’d dragged Light Patch to.

“Searching for what?” Purple Heart asked, blinking at the abused books and scrolls. Twilight was still whimpering about the Ponanity.

“Proof,” was all the ex-paladin replied, simply tossing a scroll over his shoulder.

“Proof of what?” Pinkie asked, pulling out her detective hat. “Of who ate the cookie from the cookie jar? What happened to all of those cakes that Celestia charged with criminal deliciousness? Proof of the book worshiping religion Twilight created when she was six?” Pinkie finished, prompting Twilight to look at the mare in surprise and fear.

“Proof that this world isn’t the made up place you all make it out to be. I know there is some strong proof in here. I can feel it,” Just Duty replied, glancing through a scroll.

“And just what is this proof supposed to look like?” Light Patch asked, grabbing a scroll to look through.

“I do not know. I just know it’s in here.” he replied.

“Well, how far back should we look?” Rarity asked, stepping around Twilight.

“I do not know,” the ex paladin tersely replied. “I don’t know!” he shouted, cutting off the next question. “Just look, it is here. I know it must be here,” he finished quietly. “This is the castle's record room. These go all of the way back to the kingdom’s founding. There must be something in here, please,” the stallion finished in a pleading whisper. The group glanced between each other, but all began to quietly search.

Rainbow Dash edged closer to Applejack and Rarity as the two set about combing through the tomes yet to be perused. “I thought Light Patch was supposed to be fighting Just Duty,” the cyan pegasus whispered. The other mares jerked around to look at Just Duty, thinking that the ex-paladin had heard Rainbow’s statement. Fortunately, he hadn’t, and was still pulling book after book from the shelves.

“I think Just Duty is having a bit of a mid-boss fight crisis,” Pinkie proposed.

“Indeed,” Rarity agreed, arching an eyebrow over her shoulder. “It seems his confidence or trust in his...compatriots has been severely shaken.”

“No kiddin’,” Applejack snorted. “Bael just left the two to fight alone. That doesn’t exactly inspire confidence.”

“It seems that his world view has been rendered invalid,” Amber piped up. “I don’t know his motives, but he seemed to put a great deal of faith in how things were run.”

“Maybe Discord was his patron deity,” Wits mused. His voice dropped to a whisper as he leaned toward the group and away from the paladin. “Quick question: what happens when he finds proof that everything he knows is wrong?”

“What happens if he finds proof that everything he knows is not wrong?” Pinkie asked.

“I think mine is a bit more likely, to be honest.”

“If he finds out that all his preconceived notions are incorrect,” Purple Heart muttered, “things are going to go south very quickly. I don’t know what kind of a fighter Just Duty is, but I’m certain he won’t be a goldfish.” The group fell silent as they continued to dredge for proof one way or the other.

“It seems like the farther back we, go the less well sorted these dates get,” Twilight noted after a few minutes.

“The older the records the less they are referenced, and so the less care is put into organizing them,” Amber chimed in from where she stood.

“I must say the ponies that redo these scrolls put in a lot of good effort, some of these oldest ones look positively new,” Rarity said, turning one of the scrolls over in her magic before Just Duty suddenly looked up at her.

“Impossible, other than magic to help them resist the effects of time they are not recopied or retouched,” he said before turning back to his scroll.

“Something, isn’t right,” Light Patch murmured, looking at one of the scrolls and feeling something gnawing at the back of his mind. “Hey Twilight, bring me some of the oldest ones you can find. Queen Amber, could you grab the two newest ones?” He continued grabbing a few from the shelf he was on and took them over to a desk which he swept clean and then began pouring over his selection, ignoring Twilight’s look of anger. Amber brought the newest scrolls she’d found and pinned them open for the pegasus, who’d begun to examine them closely. As he went, he called for more and more scrolls until eventually the whole group had gathered to see what he was looking for.

“What have you found?” Just Duty asked, bringing the oldest scroll in the records.

“Proof that Discord got lazy.” Light Patch said after sorting the last few scrolls on the table. “If you look at just the paper and ink of the scrolls they all look the same, and well cared for. Even the oldest scroll looks like it’s brand new. But don’t just look at the paper and how faded the ink is, check the typefaces.” He froze at the questioning gazes from most of the ponies present. “The writing, the letters, and how they were written. You can tell from looking at the newest scrolls. You can tell when a new scribe was brought in to write, or when the pen was wearing out, or maybe even how tired they were when writing.”

“So?” Just Duty asked. “Where are you going with this?”

“Look at the oldest scrolls,” Light Patch continued. “Once you pass a certain date, all of that variation disappears. They all look perfectly the same; every stroke, every dot. Even the mistakes are perfectly replicated from scroll to scroll. This would make sense if the scrolls were recopied, but you said they aren’t,” the pegasus stallion finished, stepping aside so Just Duty could observe them carefully for himself. The more he looked between the scrolls, the more frantic his motions became. Suddenly, he tore the oldest scroll from the table and bolted back to the shelves here we grabbed scrolls and compared them to the one he held.

“It looks like we’re about to find out the answer to your question,” Applejack quietly said to Wits End as she watched the ex-paladin frantically search the shelves.

“I’m surprised the thing that gave it away wasn’t the kerning,” the mint-colored unicorn replied.

“Popcorn kerning?” Pinkie asked.

“...Yes. Exactly. Popcorn kerning. You should definitely tell Patchy about that.”

“Most definitely,” Purple Heart agreed. “Watching him blow a gasket can be amusing.”

“And when it’s not?” Twilight inquired.

“Then we don’t let him drive.”

“...I’m not even going to ask for clarification.”

“A wise choice.”

All heads turned when they heard Just Duty trotting back towards the group. His expression was stern, but all of the ponies could see the fire in his eyes as he trotted through the group, back to the desk to drop into a chair. He sat in the chair for a few moments before he lifted the scroll he still held. With a sudden scream of rage, he tore the scroll apart and pounded on the desk hard enough to snap it in half before just as suddenly, he began crying. Light Patch moved to comfort him when the tears gave way to gales of laughter.

The group glanced between themselves, unsure what to do about the sudden mood swings. “So, uh, you got any ideas Pinkie?” Light Patch asked after a few seconds.

“Nope,” the party mare replied simply.

“Guys?” Light Patch prompted, looking towards his close friends.

“I have experience in many things,” Purple Heart said. “Dealing with Just Duty Joker is not one of them.”

“I know how to handle this,” Wits said from his hiding place behind Purple Heart. “You stay very far away and hope a pony dressed as a bat takes care of things for you.”

“Thanks guys, real helpful,” Light Patch deadpanned before noticing the lack of something and turned to find Just Duty quietly looking at the damaged table before him. “You okay there, Duty?”

“So, this world is a fake; a game made by some being of near unimaginable power for all of you,” Just Duty replied, his voice even. “And I am his attempt at creating a villain just for you. That would make Holdfast his villain then,” he pointed to Wits End. “Because the focus Bael has for your purple giant of a friend leaves no room for doubt.” He waved towards Purple Heart, waiting for Light Patch’s nod of confirmation before he continued. “But they lacked villainous counterparts. Interesting.” He looked at the mares before gazing back at the colts. “The three of us never stood much of a chance, did we?”

“If you understand fictional narrative, then you already know the answer. Then again, I’m sure Discord never meant for you three to usurp him,” Light Patch replied. Just Duty to frown.

“It is a weird feeling to recognize that you were never supposed to win; that you never will win,” he said quietly. Getting up, he walked over to where his hammer laid. He picked it up and carefully studied it. “Seeing as I’m never going to win, I’m sure you won’t mind if I still tried,” he said. A smile grew on his face as he turned to look at Light Patch. The pegasus stallion’s eyes lit up in understanding just in time for him to duck under Just Duty’s first swing. The rest of the group backpedaled quickly to avoid being caught in the sudden fight. Light Patch used his wings to jump over the next strike and land on top of a book case as he attempted to get back to where his hammer laid. Just Duty’s next swing obliterated a shelf just as Light Patch jumped to the next, splinters shredding the scrolls that laid on it, prompting a scream of despair from Twilight.

“I’m ending this before any more innocents are harmed,” Twilight said as she gathered magic in her horn only for the spell to fizzle as Just Duty’s hammer appeared in front of her face.

“No,” Just Duty said, holding his hammer an inch from the alicorn's face, “This is a fight between me and him, just as Discord intended. I will not tolerate it to be anything else.” The ex-paladin’s hammer suddenly flew away from Twilight’s face to deflect a blow from Light Patch as he jumped at him.

Light Patch ducked under Just Duty’s riposte, causing it to smash another shelf. He deflected a second blow into the ground and directly onto one of the few books held in the room. “Why?” Light Patch managed to get out before the rest of his question was cut off by being forced onto the defensive.

“Why continue to fight, despite the fact I know I’ll lose; that none of this matters?” Just Duty replied, easily blocking and dodging all of the pegasus’ blows. “Because this is all I have left. Nothing else matters. My narrative is stripped away.” He swung his hammer in a downward arc, missing his pegasus target but nearly smashing through the floor to the room below. “All of my memories are fake; the ones I’ve actually been... alive? Awake?” He moved to the defensive as he searched for a word. “Around. Yes, that word will do. The ones I’ve been around for are probably only the most recent, the last few months. The rest are just there to make me care about more detailed pieces for a game.” He savagely swing his hammer as his anger increased. “It would be like pretending that all of the wooden figures on a chess board have some meaning; some thing waiting for them once the game ends, something beyond being used in the next game!” He punctuated his statement with a powerful blow that knocked Light Patch back into a, desk shattering it. “Only my mechanics remain.”

“You’d be partly right,” Light Patch said as he pulled himself of the remains of the desk. “If this was just a simple game of chess, or Monopoly. But it’s not. It’s as much a story as it is a game.” He picked up his hammer and advanced towards the waiting ex-paladin. “When you finish a book, its characters live on. They don’t just fade away when you close the page.” He jumped over a low swing from Just Duty to land on the top of a shelf and swung his hammer down towards his opponent. “They continue to exist in the minds of those who read them. The reader remembers them and they affect the reader in their day-to-day lives.” He jumped to another shelf to dodge a blow and retaliating with one of his own that knocked Just Duty away. “Unlike most characters in a story, you’ve been given a very rare chance. In this case, you are as real as you make yourself.”

“As real as I make myself,” the ex-paladin growled. “As real as I make myself? I am a work of fiction; a character in a story! I have to face the fact that when Discord closes the book, I will still be in it!” he shouted at the grey pegasus as he swung his hammer wildy. “I am as real as a thought, as an emotion! I am words on a page given form,” he finished, his fury spent. He looked up at the grey pegasus, fear etched into his face. “What if the character- what if I am forgotten? Do I still exist then?”

“Yes, as long as the character was moving or interesting enough for them to affect the reader's thoughts or change how they possibly act,” Light Patch said, lowering his hammer and approaching to comfort the distraught stallion.

“Then I shall have to make sure my impact is remembered for a long time!” Just Duty suddenly roared, charging at Light Patch. The grey stallion swung his hammer in panic, and the two struck each other and both were launched to opposite ends of the room by critical hits. Both shakily stood up and looked at each other, Just Duty smiled, “We have a nasty tendency to hit each other at the same time, don’t we?” he said, prompting a returned smile. “It is good to know I will not be forgotten for a long time. You’d have been a great paladin. Better than me by far,” Just Duty said. He slumped to the floor, unmoving. Light Patch waved help off as he limped over to where Just Duty lay and checked the stallion. He stood up and turned to the group with a sigh. “He’s unconscious.” Light Patch tapped his hoof to the ground, summoning forth a number of skeletons with vines interweaved through their bones. “I’ll have them haul him down to the infirmary. We should probably go see if we can find Bael before he gets bored and wanders away.” The group turned to leave, but paused when they heard Lght Patch sigh as he watched the skeletons walk away.

“What’s wrong?” Twilight asked.

“I kind of feel like the last level up was a bit wasted for me. I didn’t even get to use my Blooming Skeletons in battle,” the pegasus stallion finished with a frown.

Author's Note:

Author: Light Patch

Comments

[Giftmak3r]

Why is it that the comic relief writes the best chapters? Imo