Caverns & Cutie Marks

by TheColtTrio

Chapter 71: Princess Witstang is in Another Castle!

“Wake up, my little pony,” a voice purred in the darkness. “Wake up, my princess.”

Wits End groaned, flopping one foreleg over his face in an attempt to block out the flickering sunlight trying to stab through his eyelids. “I dun wanna go t’ work t’day,” he muttered sleepily. “I wanna play vidya games…” He forced one eye open, peering from beneath his fetlocks at his surroundings.

It took a moment, but the mint-colored stallion soon realized that the sun was not, in fact, the sun at all, but a torch in a wall sconce; one of many set up along the wall of the otherwise dark cave. A dark cave that was periodically interrupted by gold vertical bars at regular intervals, which met at a point above him like some sort of…

Wits blinked, staring blankly above him. “Am I in a gosh-dang bird cage?” he asked flatly—more of a statement of disbelief than a question. “Am I in a literal gilded cage right now? Is this what’s happening with my life?”

“Good day, little one.”

In a moment of panic, Wits flipped over onto his hooves, standing as he looked into the darkness from where the voice had come. “Who was that?” he called into the blackness. “I warn you, I’m more dangerous that I look. And I’m ar-” His magical grasp fumbled at where his sword should had been, but stubbornly refused to be. “Okay, not armed. But still dangerous! I bite something fierce!” He hesitated as his mind ran through the possible dangers. “I also don’t taste good at all, if that’s a consideration right now.”

The voice in the darkness chuckled. “Now what would need to seek to harm you after I’ve put so much effort into capturing you safely?” it purred.

“I dunno,” Wits admitted. “What would a turnip need with a book on Prench government? Also, where the heck are you? No offense, but it’s really disconcerting to talk to absolutely nothing. I already did the whole ‘talking to yourself’ bit a while back, you know.”

“Oh, I do know, little one.” The voice chuckled. For the first time Wits realised it sounded familiar. “Allow me to alleviate your concerns, my little pony. Come, look upon your Lady of the Sun!” A blinding light filled the room, forcing Wits End to cover his eyes again. The light quickly faded to a gentle glow, illuminating the space around the owner of the voice in the darkness.

A tall, regal mare stood in the light, both lit by it and its source. Her platinum coat gave way to a pair of slender, yet powerful, wings from her back, and a long horn sprouted from above her amethyst eyes. The mare’s long, flowing silver mane and tail occasionally flickered with golds and reds like a white-hot flame, seeming to glow with a light from somewhere within it. She appeared to be clothed in long shimmering silk, but upon closer inspection it became clear that under the silk was fine metal armor, decorated with designs of gold and ivory. About her head sat a silver crown of many spires, like an eclipsed sun with the rays of solar flares reaching out in all directions.

She struck a mighty figure. One of beauty. One of kindness. One to be feared.

Wits End swallowed hard, looking away slightly. “Who are you?”

The mare smiled—an act that seemed to brighten the room even more. “As I said, I am the Lady of the Sun. Or as some say, Lady of Sunlight.” She stepped closer, her hooves making barely a sound as she stood at the bars of Wits End’s cage. “You, my little pony, may call me by my true name.”

“And what’s that, exactly?” The mint-colored stallion flinched back as the Lady of Sunlight gently ran a hoof along his cheek. He met her eyes by accident, and felt himself being pulled into them like a moth to a flame.

“You may call me,” she purred, “Sol Eater.”

* * *

“Do you think Wits is okay?” Applejack asked as the eight ponies cautiously made their way deeper into the tunnels. “He looked pretty scared when he got taken.”

“Only because of the tentacles,” Purple Heart replied. “Anypony would be scared of tentacles.”

“Unless they are battered and deep fried,” Light Patch noted, tapping the walls as they went and making the occasional grunting noise. “Since this isn’t an anime, I suspect he’ll be fine. Unless...” the stallion trailed off in thought. “I hope those weren’t attached to a giant Illithid.”

Purple Heart grimaced. “Eugh. I’d be more concerned about Davy Jones.”

“What’s an Illithid?” Rainbow Dash inquired.

“A kind of corrupted unicorn,” Twilight recited. “More commonly known as Mind Flayers.”

“I seem to recall them being a bipedal being that look like they got a squid for a beard and eat brains. Or minds, not sure. But yeah, Mind Flayers are another name,” Light Patch said with a shrug before going back to tap on the wall.

Twilight frowned, pausing to pull out the Caverns and Cutie Marks guide. “The Caverns and Cutie Marks rule book doesn’t describe them like that,” she commented. “Squid face and mind sucking, yes. Walks on two legs, no.”

“Our version is different,” Purple Heart explained. “Dungeons and Dragons has bipedal mind flayers. They’re upright walking aberrations with magic powers.”

“They don’t sound very nice either way,” Fluttershy said, jumping slightly when Light Patch knocked on a wall next to her.

“They most certainly are not,” the Purple Barbarian agreed.

Applejack sighed. “Alright, Ah’ll bite. Jus’ what are ya doing?” Applejack asked the pegasus stallion.

“I’m putting my experience in Hexen and Heretic to use. I’m looking for hidden rooms. Since we’ve entered, it’s been a straight shot. I’m worried we’ve missed a hidden door or something,” Light Patch replied.

“Secret doors leading to secret tunnels leading to secret rooms which have secret cake in them?” Pinkie Pie asked, popping up right beside the grey pegasus.

“Secret tunnel,” Purple Heart hummed, smirking at Light Patch’s glare.

“No,” the grey pegasus stated flatly. “If I’m not allowed to sing, then neither are you, and especially not that song.”

“Aye sah,” Purple Heart snickered. He peered down the tunnel. A frown crossed his face and his lips twisted with irritation. “I do believe we’ve found a dead end.”

“Really?” Twilight asked, peeking around the purple earth pony’s shoulder to scrutinize the tunnel beyond. When the group entered the small chamber, they fanned out in an attempt to illuminate the room completely. Shadows still lingered in the cavern, hiding from the light of Twilight’s flame spell and the torches the rest of them held.

“Okay, I’ll bite,” Light Patch deadpanned. “Where’s the rest of the dungeon?” The group went about searching for some detail they were missing.

“Hmm. Maybe Discord lost it?” Pinkie said, looking around with a hat like that of Sherclop Holmes perched on her head and a magnifying glass in her hoof. She walked around carefully, examining the stones until she found a purple hoof and started following up to the owner's face. “It could also be that one of you stole it,” she finished, looking through her magnifying glass into the eyes of Purple Heart.

Purple Heart looked blankly at Sherlock Pie. “Yes,” he said flatly, “I stole the rest of the dungeon.”

“You admit it, then?!” Pinkie Pie cried.

“Of course not!” the purple earth pony snapped. “Didn’t you hear the sarcasm? Do you honestly think I could steal an entire dungeon system? I’m not Penn and Teller!”

“Hmm... I have no idea who you’re talking about, but I think you’re telling the truth. Which must mean...” She locked eyes on Light Patch. “Ah hah! You must have stolen it!”

“Wait, let me check.” The pegasus made an overblown show of going through his various pouches bags and satchels. “Nope, no dungeons. I guess I haven’t been an adventurer long enough to develop kleptomania.”

Pinkie continued to glare at the pegasus for a few moments before she pulled a bubble pipe from her hair. She sat there blowing bubbles for a few seconds, allowing the others to get back to their search. She suddenly jumped with a shout of joy. “It was Wits End who stole the dungeon as revenge for it stealing him!” she cheered with a smile as the rest of the party present face-hoofed.

“As amusing as that idea is, I highly doubt that's how it is,” Purple Heart mused. “I suspect this is a puzzle we have to solve to progress. I just wish we had an actual clue.” Before he could return to searching, Light Patch tapped him on the shoulder. His attention now on the grey pegasus, he noticed Light Patch pointing up towards the ceiling of the room. Purple Heart’s eyes followed the hoof to the ceiling where he saw a diamond-shaped gray stone with a white diamond eye set into it. His face went slack, eyes dull with disbelief. The mares looked at the pair of colts in confusion, curious as to what could elicit such a reaction from them. Twilight frowned, looked at the slate of stone in the ceiling then looked back at the colts.

“You two okay?” she asked. “Did you find something?”

Light Patch finally tore his gaze away from the eye switch to look to his friend. “Would you like to Arin rage, or should I?” he deadpanned. Purple Heart continued to stare at the diamond.

“I’ll take it,” he mumbled. He inhaled and exhaled, eyes fluttering shut. The mares blinked at him once more in confusion then reeled back in surprise when he spoke.

“Is this a puzzle?! Seriously Discord, is this a puzzle?!” he cried, eyes snapping open. “Is looking around a room and finding an eyeball on a wall really super fun for ponies? Is stopping our forward motion, stopping everything to look for a diamond to whack that’s in a soulless crevice in a wall so you can open a door that leads to another room with a locked door with another silly ‘open sesame’ trick?! You think this is fun?! This is nothing like what we want! What next?! Flying death pucks we can’t see or bomb bowling?!”

“Don’t tempt him,” Light Patch chided. “Hey, Rainbow Dash. Think you could hit the eye in that panel up there with an arrow?”

With a shrug at the Purple Stallion’s antics, she quickly drew her bow, nocked an arrow, and let it fly striking the eye dead center. A loud click echoed through the room followed by a low grumble as some of the stone slid away and an opening appeared.

“That was pleasantly simple,” Rarity noted, stepping forward to look through the new opening. “It looks like more tunnel.” The others groaned. “Now, now. While I admit the decor is dreary, it could be a lot worse. I mean, we could be dealing with traps or more of those zombponies with every step.”

“It’d at least be exciting,” Purple Heart grumbled.

“Oh really?” Twilight drawled. “Do you want excitement or safety?” The mares eyed Purple Heart, awaiting his response as they walked further down the tunnel.

“Ehm… safety for mien comrades?” His voice lilted upwards, making it sound like a question when it was a statement. Twilight’s eyes narrowed.

“Right,” she said, turning to the tunnel leading further underground. “Do you think we’ll come upon another puzzle?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if we did,” Rarity sniffed. “Our journey has become a rather droll experience ever since the zombponies appeared.”

“Wits was taken,” Fluttershy pointed out timidly.

“She has a point there,” Applejack agreed. The rest of the mares nodded.

“He can take care of himself,” Purple Heart said, waving off Fluttershy’s concern. “He managed to outthink a Chancellor. Of course, this one didn’t become a shrivelled bag of ‘do it’, but it’s still an achievement in my opinion. And if he can’t think his way out, he can talk his enemy to death.”

“He’s also stronger than he appears, like a chihuahua. He goes for the ankles first, then throat,” Light Patch said while miming said actions, causing Fluttershy to duck behind Applejack. “In any case, anypony wanna guess at what kind of puzzle we’re going to encounter next?”

“A logic puzzle perhaps,” Purple Heart immediately said. “Or perhaps a large three headed dog. Or flying keys that need Z-targeting to hit. Or a giant chess set that comes to life.”

“You think we’d face Cerberus?!” Twilight squeaked. “The Guardian of Tartarus?!”

“For us, he’s the Gatekeeper of the Underworld,” Purple Heart said. “Different location. That aside, he’s a massive dog. I think a quick stare should suffice to deal with him.” He looked over his shoulder at Fluttershy. “If you’re up to it, of course.”

“If that’s w-what it takes to keep him from hurting us and us from having to hurt him,” Fluttershy said as resolutely as she could. “I kind of hope it’s a ‘guess how many bunnies are in the room’ puzzle, though. It’d be so nice to count all of the cute little fuzzy bunnies.”

“It would be a change of pace to deal with something cute for a change,” Light Patch noted. Suddenly, he froze, before suddenly starting to hit his head a couple of times. “No, bad Light Patch. Stop thinking about fluffy zombie bunnies. Don’t risk giving Discord an idea.”

“Oh, my...” Fluttershy squeaked.

Purple Heart snorted. “Well done, buddy,” he chortled. “We’ll die from adorableness overload. Fantastic. I’ll write that on your tombsto… Whadaheck?” He came to an abrupt stop, causing Twilight and Applejack to walk into him.

“Hey!” Twilight grunted. “Why’d you stop?” The mares leaned around to peer past him. A chamber lay beyond them with several torches illuminating the walls. The far wall was clearly the focus of the room. It was also clearly the focus of the room’s puzzle, covered in valves, switches, levers, buttons, and toggles.

“I think Discord heard you in the last room,” Rainbow Dash replied, looking at it. “I think he took some offence to it as well.”

“No kidding,” Light Patch said, looking at the wall in awe before spotting a small note attached to it. He trotted up, snagged the note, and began to skim it while reading aloud, “Everything needs to be on. Not simple, pressing one affects others. Yadda, yadda, switches effect levers, levers only affect direct connections, valves inverse buttons.” He tossed the note over his shoulder and turned to face the wall. “It might take me a bit, but I got this.”

“If only there was something to keep us busy while you do that,” Purple Heart sighed.

“What, zombponies?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“I dun care, so long as it fights off boredom,” the purple earth pony grumbled. “For now, pull the lever, Light!”

Light Patch threw a lever and a door slammed open. “And done. Also, what was that, Ph Balance?”

The Mane Six and Purple Heart stood gaping at the grey pegasus and the opening in the wall.

“I don’t even,” the purple earth pony groaned.

“How’d he do that?” Twilight asked.

Purple Heart shook his head. “Don’t question it, just go along with it.”

“Ooh, a way out!” Pinkie Pie cheered. “Onwards then!” She bounced towards the newly opened tunnel, Rainbow Dash and Applejack close behind her.

“Is this normal?” Rarity asked Purple Heart, gesturing at Light Patch.

“I knew he was pretty good at puzzles like this,” Purple Heart mused, making his way after Pinkie, Rarity, and Applejack, “but that was carping ridiculous. There wasn’t even fifty ways to love your lever. Methinks Discord is purposefully trolling us now.”

“Trolling?” Fluttershy asked softly.

“Being a jerk,” the Purple Barbarian amended.

“Oh, so no different than usual,” Twilight sniffed.

“Eeyup.”

“In my defence, it was kind of obviously set up with a method of progression. Sets effecting everything below them, but not the stuff above them. A lot of the time, you really only need to three moves when they have five levers. Though this was simpler than even I thought it’d be,” Light Patch said, looking back down the hallway at the puzzle room speculatively.

“Hey, don’t question it,” Rainbow Dash said. “The less time we spend bashing our heads on puzzles, the quicker we can get onto some zombie ponies or something.”

“Agreed” Light Patch said with a shrug and turning to catch up with the others.

“Okay,” Purple Heart said once they were walking together, “show of hooves: who wants some zombponies?” He raised his hoof, as did Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Light Patch, and Rarity.

“You really want to beat up on some zombponies, Rarity?” Twilight asked in surprise. The fashionista mare sniffed.

“I am on the cusp of aggravation,” she said frostily. “My desire to kick flank is growing.”

“Oh,” Twilight hummed. “Alright then.”

“The chances of our pleas for action being heard is significantly low,” Purple Heart commented. “Discord would pull another puzzle just to spite us.”

“I wouldn’t put it past him.” Twilight said as another doorway came into sight. She galloped forward and then looked through the door then turned to address the group. “And it’s another puzzle.” she said smiling at the groan of the other purple pony.

Purple Heart looked at the puzzle and froze. Then he burst into raucous laughter. The mares all blinked at him.

“What?” Twilight asked. “Is there something funny?” Purple Heart tried to suck air enough to speak but failed the few times he did and resigned himself to breathless giggles. He waved a hoof at Light Patch.

The grey stallion’s smile flipped to a frown before he sighed. “Alright, I got this, but you have to explain the next one. Just humor him, girls; the stress and everything has finally gotten to him. It’s a common reaction from what I understand. When a per-” A sneeze cut him off. “Sorry. When a pony is under a tremendous amount of stress, sometimes the pony will start laughing at the situation as a way to vent all of the stress to avoid risking him snapping.”

“What has that got to do with this puzzle?” Twilight asked.

Purple Heart’s laughs had subsided into giggles. “Did you manage to take a good look at it?” he chuckled. The purple alicorn furrowed her brow. All she’d seen was four buckets on a table. She looked again.

And promptly gaped.

“Wha?” she whispered.

“What is it, dear?” Rarity asked. Applejack nudged Twilight out of the doorway and the rest of the group trooped into the room.

“It’s four buckets full of water connected to individual strings threaded through some hoops in the ceiling that are holding up a slab of wood,” Pinkie Pie observed. “What’s so strange about that?”

Light Patch peeked around the frame of the opening and looked at it. “Nope, I refuse. I’m gonna stay out here. Call me when it’s done. Or if you want me to try and batter a hole in the wall.”

“I just might join you,” Purple Heart chortled, “but I want to see how long it’ll take for Twilight’s brain to restart.”

“How does one solve a puzzle like this?” Rarity asked, eyes flicking to fix the stationary purple alicorn with a concerned look.

“It doesn’t seem ta have any clues or rules,” Applejack noted.

“Where even is the puzzle?” Rainbow Dash asked slowly circling it. “It’s four buckets of water sitting on a block of wood.”

“And string!” Pinkie chimed in.

“You might have to find a way to lower the wood without cutting the string,” Fluttershy offered.

“Or empty the buckets without moving the table,” Rainbow Dash suggested.

“Or it might just be there to spite Twilight’s logic based mind,” Purple Heart stated.

“Nope, not going to try,” the purple alicorn said. “Not even going to try. Too much pain. Brain hurt. Logic puzzle with no answer. I hate it. BURN YOU BUCKING ANEURYSM!” Sparks flashed and the entire puzzle burst into flame. The water in the buckets boiled as it emptied from the falling buckets, landing on a crackling tabletop. Mere seconds passed and all that remained was melted metal, burnt firewood, and ashen hemp.

Light Patch looked in on the destruction and paused before suddenly flitting over to Twilight and glomping her. “You’re my hero.” After a few seconds, Twilight used her magic to pry the stallion off of her.

“Welp, that’s one way of solving it,” Purple Heart mused. “I guess the only way to solve it really. But now, how do we get out of he-” The Purple Barbarian was interrupted by a slab of stone shifting aside to reveal yet another tunnel out of the room.

“That’s how apparently,” Applejack said.

“Onwards then?” Rarity suggested.

“Might as well,” Purple Heart sighed, glancing at a panting Twilight. “I pity any more puzzles we come across though.”

“I pity the fool of a puzzle that has the nerve to cross Missus T,” Light Patch growled out. “She also pities the fool who doesn’t know the value of friendship, and books.”

“Come on P Team, let’s go,” Purple Heart urged. “Let’s see what we come up against next.” They all filed down the new tunnel out of the room.

“What happened?” Twilight asked woozily.

“You rage quitted and flash fried a puzzle,” Purple Heart replied succinctly.

The purple alicorn frowned and looked at the other mares. “Did I really do that?” she asked.

“Yes,” they all confirmed.

“Oh,” Twilight hummed. “Did anypony get hurt?”

“Nope,” Applejack denied.

“Just startled,” Fluttershy said. “You surprised us.”

“Indeed,” Rarity agreed.

“It was like a bonfire!” Pinkie piped up.

“It was beautiful,” Light Patch said contently. Twilight looked at him curiously, but shrugged and continued with the group. The further they walked, however, the more something started to nag at Light Patch. He couldn’t place his hoof on it, but there was something different. He started to look around the hallway before he suddenly froze as realization struck. “Oh no.”

“What the matter Light Patch?” Rarity asked looking at the stallion.

“Large hallway, long line of torches and buttresses, obvious ammo resupply,” the pony said, pointing things out as he mentioned them. “Rarity, it looks like your want for action is about to happen. We’re coming up on a boss battle.”

“Prove it. What should be the next thing we see if this is leading up to a boss battle?” Twilight said focusing on Light Patch.

“Well, this game of Discord’s lacks save points, so I’d say either a source of healing, or a stupidly large door opening to an even larger room with said boss—likely a mini boss if Discord is going to keep anything like proper dungeon crawl pacing intact—standing in the middle of said room,” Light Patch hypothesized. “But hey, that's just a theory; a boss theory! Thanks for listening.”

“Huh,” Twilight grunted. She looked over at Purple Heart. “What are your thoughts?”

“Light Pat explained it pretty well,” the purple earth pony said. “All I can add is a large benign looking room or an object illuminated by a solitary shaft of light. Except, the latter would just lead to a cutscene followed maybe by a boss. Unless of course the cutscene is a monologue, which in that case definitely leads to a boss.”

“So we just need to be wary of big fancy doors, illuminated things, large benign rooms, or healing spots,” Twilight listed. “Doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Ah wish you hadn’t said that, Twi,” Applejack groaned from the front of the group.

“Why?” the purple alicorn asked, turning to look at the orange earth pony only to see what lay beyond. A massive iron wrought door, much like the one that Wits End had been taken through, stood before them, blocking their path.

“Speak of the Devil and he shall appear,” Purple Heart sighed.

Light Patch looked at the door and smiled widely before turning to look at Twilight. His smile grew even wider at the slightly disgruntled look on her face. He opened his mouth to say something but found it forced shut by Twilight’s magic.

“Shut up,” she grumbled quietly.

Author's Note:

Authors: Wits End, Purple Heart, Light Patch

Comments

[Dravkwn]

“It’s four buckets full of water connected to individual strings threaded through some hoops in the ceiling that are holding up a slab of wood,” Pinkie Pie observed. “What’s so strange about that?”

Explain this, NOW!
I have found THIS, but I don't know why you would wish to torture ponies with such a thing.

[TheColtTrio]

7196335 The link you provided doesn't show anything. But I can guess you're referring to THIS. [PH]

[Dravkwn]

7196636 Actually, the link shows a table with 4 buckets on the corners and strings securing them to the ceiling and then back to the table. You're, apparently, unable to view it for reasons I can't say. I tried your link and it shows as broken. It says it contains errors. This is rather curious,no?

This is the link you posted. http://i.imgur.com/4sDzS8S.jpg
It is an unusual one to me.

[TheColtTrio]

7196659 Hum... Interesting... I use my link fine... And yes, that's what it is.

i.imgur.com/4sDzS8S.jpg

This should work. I hope. [PH]

[4428Gamer]

“You really want to beat up on some zombponies, Rarity?” Twilight asked in surprise. The fashionista mare sniffed.

“I am on the cusp of aggravation,” she said frostily. “My desire to kick flank is growing.”

“Oh,” Twilight hummed. “Alright then.”

Yeah, that's pretty much my response when Rarity says something unexpected.