Chapter 15: Bandits do a Thing
“So let me see if I’ve got this straight,” Wits End said, seated on one of the benches in the rather spartan barracks. The three parties had just finished explaining what they had been doing up to their reunion in turns. “We’ve got a village full of mostly untrained civvies, and a horde of assorted flavors of bandit. The bandits have got a hold of magical weaponry beyond what we have at our disposal, from some shadowy ponies we can’t identify. And the nine of us are suppose to pull a Seven Samurai and protect the village from whatever it is the bandits wanna do with it?”
“Eeyup,” Purple Heart confirmed, bobbing his head. “Without dying preferably.” Twilight and Rainbow Dash threw the purple stallion irritated looks before turning to look at Light Patch as the grey pegasus spoke up.
“Well that kind of went without saying, not that it stopped you.” Light Patch said with a wry smile. “Also don’t forget, we’ve set up so many traps in some areas. You can’t barely even walk, let alone fly.”
Wits End glanced around the room, his eyes alighting on a map of the town. With a tug of his magic, he unseated the map from the wall and draped it across one of the tables. “Well, if we’re gonna get through this, we’re gonna need a plan.” He tapped the map with one hoof, pointing out the circles of red ink scattered about. “We’re gonna need to station some ponies nearby for clean-up.”
Twilight sat on the bench across from the mint-colored unicorn, raising an eyebrow. “What’d you need that for? If there’re all of those traps, we can focus our efforts elsewhere.”
“Traps are great, but unless you’re working with Kobolds, they only fire once. We need a couple of ponies to capture the trapped bandits and reset the traps whenever we have the chance.” Wits End glanced up at a member of the town guard; a young earth pony whose helmet was at least one size too big. “If you could get me a list of any trappers or rangers in town, we can distribute them in the buildings around the outer edge.” The guard snapped a sloppy salute and galloped out the door, helmet bouncing wildly.
“So,” Purple Heart coughed. “What kind of setup do you wanna use? Shield wall? Squads? Or just waiting for them to get close enough to see the whites of their eyes?”
Wits End looked over the map, rubbing his chin with the back of a hoof. “We’ll want to funnel them down as much as possible. We can’t protect everywhere...” Eventually, he pointed at the large courtyard in the center of town. The main routes into the town led into three sizable entrances. “We’ll focus our efforts here. If we position our ranged troops in this building in the center, they can provide covering fire for the melee units on the ground.”
“It will also limit their ability to use their numbers advantage.” Light Patch noted. “It would be nice if we could sneak in some attacks on bandits attempting to funnel in. But any ideas I’ve got strike me as not worth it. Too much risk, not enough reward.” He finished, looking at the paths and the buildings along side of them.
“I hope this doesn’t turn into ‘Wits End’s Strategy Game Hour’,” Purple Heart muttered to himself. Several of the Mane Six gave the purple stallion confused looks as he stepped forward to consider the map.
“Do we have any idea when the bandits will attack?” he asked, looking at Light Patch.
“Well no, nothing solid anyway. Just rumors. You were the one who found a patrol of theirs. And he’s the one who ‘infiltrated’ their camp,” the pegasus finished with a nod towards Wits End. “You’d be the ones with better intel.”
“All we know is that the bandits are coming,” Wits End responded while Purple Heart nodded in agreement. He frowned, wracking his brain for more information. “If we could pin down how long we have, we’d be able to set things up better in our favor.” He looked up at the assembled ponies. “I don’t suppose any of you would be up for a scouting mission?” The ponies all exchanged glances, waiting for somepony to speak up. Purple Heart rolled his eyes and stepped forward.
“I’d be up for scooting,” he said. “S’long as I have somepony to watch my sorry arse. Specifically somepony who can fly.” He glanced at the three winged ponies in the barracks. Twilight shifted from hoof to hoof, less than pleased that the purple stallion at made the request. Rainbow Dash shrugged but nodded in acceptance.
“It’d be a good idea to have a healer in the scouting party, let them keep moving at top speed longer,” Light Patch chimed in. “Unless you need me elsewhere, I’d go.”
“We’re not planning an expedition beyond the wall,” Wits End said plainly. “You’re just going out, find where the bandits are coming from and approximately how many there are. No surprise attacks, no kidnappings, and no disintegrations.”
“We’re going on a scouting mission, into a forest. And thats the thing you bring up? If I get eaten by a titan, I just want you to know it’s you’re fault,” Light Patch said, glaring into his friends eyes.
Wits End grinned. “Consider it incentive to come back in one piece.” Purple Heart rolled his eyes at his comrade’s antics.
“We’ll be going then,” he said, making his way to the door. “Light Patch and Rainbow, if you don’t mind.” The two ponies moved to follow Purple Heart but were stopped.
“Hang on,” Twilight interrupted. “If the village could be attacked at any moment, do you think it’s a bad idea to have the one pony who can heal us away?”
Wits End shook his head. “If the state of the camp Fluttershy, Pinkie, and I were in is anything to go by, we’ve got at least a day before we need to really worry.”
“And it’s also only a scouting trip, if we see their army advancing we’ve got the speed,” Light Patch nodded to Rainbow Dash, “to keep ahead of them and get back before they do,” the grey pegasus threw in.
Twilight’s head sunk slightly. She glanced out the window, where Fluttershy and Rarity were conversing with some of the more panicked ponies. A pink blur in the background was proof of Pinkie Pie helping Applejack to gather up the colts and fillies of the village, taking them to one of the larger basements for safety. Suspicions or not, she thought, I can’t very well question every suggestion of the ponies who know better all the time. She looked over the volunteer scouts. Purple Heart and Rainbow Dash could take care of themselves, she knew that; and Light Patch seemed like he could too. “Fine,” she said after a moment. “What do you need me to do, then?”
Wits End gestured toward her wings and horn. “I need your princessly help to rouse the spirits of the masses. It wouldn’t do to have the citizenry panicking in our time of need.” He levitated the map back onto its pegs on the wall. “I’ll be going with you. Talking to everypony will help me get an idea of anypony with unique skills we can use.” He was silent for a moment. “Huh. Pony pony pony. Interesting. Doesn’t even seem like a word anymore.” Purple Heart chuckled deep in his throat as he stepped out of the barracks, Light Patch and Rainbow Dash close behind him.
Twilight stepped out into the midday sun, Wits End a few steps behind. “You wouldn’t happen to have any ulterior motives for having the two of us work together, would you?” she asked, looking over her shoulder suspiciously.
Wits End checked to make sure his friends were out of earshot. He leaned in conspiratorially and whispered in her ear. “Can you keep a secret?”
A cold chill ran down Twilight’s spine. “Yes?” she whispered back, leaning in quite close.
Wits End’s mouth was close enough for the purple princess to feel the warmth of his breath. “The truth is…” Wits End was interrupted by a booming roar of pain that brought the meandering citizens of Roads Crossed to a shocked halt. Wits End turned around at the sound of pounding hooves to see Purple Heart skidding to a stop before him, Light Patch and Rainbow Dash close behind him.
“That came from the forest,” Purple Heart panted. “We’re going to check it out.”
“It sounded hurt, but it couldn’t have been a trap, at least not a town’s pony trap. The plan was to leave the forest alone and only trap the town.” Light Patch mumbled, looking in the direction the pained roar had come from, face furrowed in thought.
The purple earth pony turned his gaze to Twilight. “Could you link us all up please?” he asked politely.
“Wait, link? Linking? What? Should I start screaming about not being bound now?” Light Patch asked glancing between the two purple ponies. He got the distinct feeling he was being ignored, however.
Twilight’s head jerked toward Purple Heart, her mane smacking Wits End in the face. “Sure thing,” she said quickly, focusing her mind on connecting the minds of the three scouting ponies to her own. “There,” she thought at the group. “You should be all hooked up!”
“Danke,” Purple Heart replied, twisting around to gallop towards the north-eastern entrance to the town, Rainbow Dash keeping pace easily in the air. Light Patch however was struggling not just keeping up speed wise, but also trying to not completely freak out at the sudden voices in his head.
Twilight turned back to Wits End, who was trying to spit out a purple hair that had gotten caught in his mouth. “What were you going to say?”
After a moment of frustrated tongue antics, Wits End grabbed the end of the hair in both hooves, pulling it out. “Pleh.” He shook his head and blinked. “Too late, the moment’s passed. Let’s just get to work.”
“...Okay?” Twilight led the way, eyebrows furrowed as she tried to imagine what the unicorn had been about to say. Was it a word of advice? A potential threat? Or...
* * *
“What do you think it is?” Rainbow Dash whispered, turning to look at Purple Heart. The scouting trio had hidden themselves in the underbrush near the edge of the forest where the clearing met the trees. Running to their right was a dirt path that Light Patch had confirmed should be free of traps.
“Something big,” Purple Heart replied, his voice equally soft. “Something very big.”
“Why are we whispering?” Light Patch asked. Rainbow Dash edged away a little as she watched Purple Heart turn slowly to face his friend.
“The reson we’re whispering,” he hissed. “Is beacuase I’d rather not tell whatever’s got its pants in a knot that we’re here.” Rainbow Dash blinked at how Purple Heart’s speech became flawed for a few words. He certainly is strange…
“I meant why don’t we think talk instead of whispering,” Light Patch responded with.
“Can you see anything?” Purple Heart asked, turning to look at Rainbow Dash as he ignored Light Patch. The blue pegasus started in surprise before turning to look down the dirt path. Narrowing her eyes, Rainbow Dash scrutinized the dirt path. Suddenly, her eyesight dimmed and became tinged with a variety of colors. Blues, greens, reds, yellows, but the dominating color was a bright red about 30 yards down the path hidden behind some foliage. Rainbow gasped, watching as the bright red spot moved. The blue pegasus was jerked from her colorful vision when the sound of tearing metal sent birds skyward.
“Oh carp,” Light Patch whispered.
“What?” Rainbow Dash asked, turning to consider the grey pegasus.
“Soviet War Bear,” Light Patch replied, pointing. Purple Heart and Rainbow Dash looked up to follow where Light Patch’s hoof was pointing. They all gulped. A bear of absurd proportions lumbered into view about 25 yards down the dirt path.
“Yeah,” Purple Heart agreed. “That’s definitely a Soviet War Bear.” The scouting trio sat there in the underbrush in utter silent for a solid 20 seconds as they watched the behemoth of a creature meander slowly down the path, growing ever closer.
“Now-” Rainbow Dash began only to have her mouth covered by Purple Heart’s hoof.
“No talking. Just use the link.” Rainbow Dash clamped her mouth shut and nodded.
“What do we do then?” she asked. Purple Heart turned around, considering how to get the three of them out of the situation without major injury. They still had to protect the village from the imminent bandit attack.
“I guess we just attack it,” Purple Heart said finally. “It shouldn’t be too much of a hassle to deal with.” Light Patch turned and glared at his purple friend.
“I hope you realize what you’ve just said can never be taken back,” the grey pegasus deadpanned. Purple Heart frowned as he stepped onto the path and began galloping towards the bear.
“What do you me-” The purple earth pony wasn’t able to finish his sentence as he was jerked up into the trees be a rope. A curse left the purple pony’s mouth as he swung suspended from what looked like a trap a good 10 yards down the path. Light Patch groaned, making Rainbow Dash look at the grey pegasus in puzzlement.
“Famous last words,” Light Patch grumbled. “That’s why. And how did this trap get here anyway? No wait priorities, bear first, traps second,” he finished, glancing worriedly at the bear.
“This isn’t gonna end well, is it?” Purple Heart grouched. “Rainbow, would you be so kind as to help me down by killing that bear before it decides to notice us?” The sky blue pegasus nodded and was about to rise to her hooves but froze. The bear had stopped moving. And it was staring straight at Purple Heart.
“Carp.”
“Now what, fearless leader?” Light Patch asked, doing his best Boris Badenov impression. Purple Heart was silent for several seconds as he kept his gaze fixed on the bear.
“Ok,” Purple Heart said finally. “Here’s what we’re gonna do…”
The bear roared and charged. Combat was joined. The plan was put into action.
* * *
Rainbow Dash gulped loudly as she watched the ridiculously huge bear charge toward Purple Heart, and to a lesser extent, her. She drew her bow string to her cheek, feeling the fletching tickle her gently as she sighted down the arrow.
“I’m not so sure about this,” she said through the mind-link Twilight had set up between the town’s defenders.
“Stay on target,” Purple Heart assured.
“But this bear is getting close,” Rainbow Dash said apprehensively.
“Stay on target,” Purple Heart repeated.
“But-”
“Stay on target,” Purple Heart snapped. “You only get one shot at this. Trust me.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, panic still gripping her spine. After what seemed like an eternity, the wild bear was right where she wanted it.
“Stay-”
“Shaddup!” Rainbow Dash interrupted, speaking aloud as she released her arrow at her intended target. The arrow whizzed over the bear and sheared through the rope that held Purple Heart suspended about 20 feet above the forest floor. The rope snapped and dropped the purple earth pony directly onto the wild bear’s back.
“Jan, ken...” the purple stallion growled, holding on tightly to the back of the startled bear. “Hufu!” The telltale glow appeared around Purple Heart’s hoof and a wave of peace settled on Rainbow Dash. The purple stallion’s signature move now brought a feeling of security to his compatriots. The bear crumbled to the ground, unconscious. Light Patch jumped down out of the tree he had been standing in. Rainbow Dash joined him as the two walked over to where Purple Heart stood over the bear’s slumped form.
“Well done,” Light Patch noted walking up to the bear. “Looks like it might have just a bear acting up.” Purple Heart nodded, giving the bear a cursory glance.
“Guess so,” he agreed, clambering off the bear’s back. A glint in the bear’s fur made Purple Heart stop. With a frown, he leaned close to the bear’s neck, curious to find the source of the glint. His expression went slack. There was a leather strap around the bear’s neck with a plaque attached to the material that read, ‘Soviet War Bear.’
“Wits!” Purple Heart barked. There was a telepathic wince throughout the link that connected the nine ponies.
“Gah!” Wits End mentally screamed. “A little warning next time, please! I could’ve been thinking about anything!”
“...Like what?” Twilight questioned.
“...Never mind,” Wits End replied. “Definitely nothing important.”
“Quit your whining, guys," Purple Heart snapped. “We found the cause for alarm. It was a bear.”
“So?” Wits End asked. “What of it? Bears and forests tend to go together.”
“It’s got a collar on it,” Purple Heart explained. “A bandit collar. The bear was a decoy!”
“...Ya’ll have got that right,” Applejack cut in.
“How do you know?” Wits End asked. “Are you psychic too or something?”
“No,” Applejack retorted. “The bandits’re here. And a lot sooner than they oughta be, if I might add.”
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Curious. Was he going though different human words that are being translated or was he just saying pony?
It doesn't say good things about me that my first though was sexy things...
And on to more important things: the bandits have plans and tactics! Nothing worse than a DM that uses those for their villians.
5854575
That's my interpretation. I think what Geas they have so affected their minds that beyond the novelty of knowing their minds were being forced to choose alternatives against their will, to a pony it has the same significant as using a word like 'one', which is to say no significance at all. 'one' means many things but also means nothing. Or rather, all interpretations in the end mean the same thing: the concept of a single. Every interpretation you can think of that is different from that can be derived from it, and that it's used so often in speech as part of compound words just removes the impact of it.
Of course I rather like the racist interpretations of 'pony' used everywhere, but from another point of view that word probably means a lot less than they believe. It was novel when he was a brony (and thus not included in it), but as an actual pony it's so normal as to have no meaning anymore.
My interpretation of this was that he tried to do something you'd see in the Xanth fantasy stories, and reveal something protected by the very universe itself. And the test resulted in a bear immediately attacking, so he knows not to do it again if he doesn't want to make his life more difficult.
My guess is that he'd say they weren't ponies a few days ago or claim they were under a Geas.
Soviet war bear....цяа!
Was that bear Wojtek? Nah... to big. Wojtek was only about 35 stone. Still big but not war bear big.