Caverns & Cutie Marks

by TheColtTrio

Chapter 20: You Never Split the Party

Author's Note:

Authors: Purple Heart, Wits End, Light Patch

The parties were gathered at the edge of town. Each one was fully loaded up with all of the supplies they needed for their respective journeys. Wits End tightened down the ropes holding their supplies in the wagon with his teeth, muttering something about it going to be a pain in the future. Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes, checking off the last of the items on a checklist. After a quick glance around, she grabbed a small pastry out of their supplies, stuffing the sugary treat into her mouth with enthusiasm. Rounding out the magic-heavy party, Applejack was busy securing her saddle to the wagon, ready to take the first turn pulling their load.

Light Patch was watching Pinkie Pie hop in place as she chattered excitedly about all of the fun their group was gonna have together. The pegasus stallion adjusted his web of pouches belts and bag as he pondered a question in his mind. Rainbow Dash hovered above watching Pinkie Pie’s antics as well and trying to not ponder the same thing as Light Patch. Just how could Pinkie Pie hop like that with all of those supplies in her saddlebag? Perfect Profit was just finishing a last second check of her cart and goods before getting ready to pull it once again.

Purple Heart stood to one side, hacking and coughing repeatedly as he tried to clear his throat. Fluttershy looked at the purple earth pony in concern. Rarity stood beside the yellow pegasus, frowning at Purple Heart worriedly. The newly formed party were probably the least encumbered group as their gear consisted primarily of bandages and health poultices to be used on any injuries they acquired while on their mob search.

“Is something wrong, Mr Heart?” Fluttershy asked softly. The purple stallion cleared his throat loudly.

“Must’ve eaten some kind of dairy product last night,” he grunted. “But I don’t remember doing so...”

Light Patch looked up from his thoughts and over at his friend. “Wait, you’re lactose intolerant?” Purple Heart twisted his muzzle into a grimace.

“It’s not that I can’t eat or drink dairy,” the purple stallion replied. “I just get congested because of it. Which can get annoying on occasion. But I didn’t consume any dairy last night. So, I’m a little confused. Somepony must’ve done something. Can’t think of anypony who would know though...” He drifted off, embroiled in his inner thoughts.

“Could just be allergies acting up on you. I get that every now and then myself. One day I’m fine, the next day it’s like someone shoved corks in my nose,” Light Patch Responded.

“Welcome to Caverns & Cutie Marks,” Wits End said dryly, spitting the rope out of his mouth. “Where we discuss the things that make our bodies produce mucus. Who’d like to go next?” He glanced over at Twilight. “How about you?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “How about no?”

Wits End shrugged. “Fair enough.” Pinkie started waving a foreleg in the air.

“Oooh, oooh me me? Can I go next?” she asked. Purple Heart’s snort of amusement turned into a racking cough that sent his body shivering.

Rarity placed a hoof gently over her eyes, beginning to wonder if it was too late to open up a boutique in Roads Crossed instead of adventuring. “Please don’t, Pinkie dear.” Purple Heart stepped forward towards the road that led in a roundabout fashion to their intended destination.

“I don’t know about you guys,” he wheezed. “But I’d like to get going. Now, before you say anything-” He glared at Wits End. “-I’m going left.”

“I wasn’t gonna say anything,” Wits End said with mock innocence. “But in honor of your nasal passages, I have a standing order for you.”

Purple Heart rolled his eyes skyward, as if pleading for something to strike the snarky unicorn where he stood. “Don’t miss? Go left? ‘I was busy'?”

Wits End raised an eyebrow with a smirk. “Stop dying.”

Purple Heart glared at the minty-colored pony with a burning annoyance. “Of course he says that,” he snarled. Breathing through his mouth, the purple stallion began trotting down the left trail leading from Roads Crossed. Rarity tsked in annoyance and moved to embrace Twilight.

“Be careful,” the white unicorn said softly, placing a hoof on the alicorn’s shoulder.

“You too,” Twilight said back, wrapping a hoof around the unicorn’s shoulders. Rarity stepped away and embraced the rest of the Mane Six, save Fluttershy. In time, Rarity and Fluttershy trotted away to follow Purple Heart who stood waiting patiently several yards away. When the pair reached the purple stallion, Purple Heart raised his hoof in salute to his comrades.

“When you reach the capital,” he boomed impressively, despite his corked nostrils. “Look to my coming at first light of the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east.” He then turned and galloped away, leaving six confused mares, one irritated unicorn, and a seething pegasus in his wake. It took a second for Fluttershy and Rarity to realized that the tank of their group was quickly disappearing and when they did, they hurried to catch up with the shrinking figure. Twilight sniffed in surprised, a strange smell nipping at her nose. She had no idea what it was but if she were to put a name to it, she would’ve called it ‘smug’.

Light Patch was working very hard to not grind his teeth to stumps or use certain choice words. “I had something planned and then he pulls a stunt like that and completely steals the show and stops me dead as a graveyard.” Pinkie Pie hopped over and laid a foreleg over his neck.

“You could still do it for those of us still here,” Pinkie said smiling. Light Patch gently removed Pinkie’s leg from his neck before shaking his head.

“Meh, the moments dead and he killed it.” Light Patch finished pointing dramatically towards where the purple stallion had been. “See ya’ll later and stay safe. We’ll meet you in the capital,” he said to the remaining ponies.

Wits End raised his hoof in a lazy salute. “Until we meet again on the fields of battle, sir. I look forward to unleashing laser monkeys and razorwire grenades on your sorry corpse.” He glanced to one side, spotting the looks on Twilight’s and Rainbow Dash’s faces. “What? Isn’t that what friends do?”

Pinkie paused for a moment, “I thought it was itching powder and spring snake pies?”

“Same thing,” Wits End said with a shrug.

Rainbow Dash looked between the two stallions. “You two are weird.” Perfect Profit turned to look at the ponies who would be journeying to the capital with her.

“I’m ready to go when you are. Though, if you want to get to a good camping spot for the night, we’d better get moving now,” she said, now hitched up to her cart. Light Patch nodded and looked to Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash for their own nods.

“Well then, away we go,” he said before starting out with his group on the road to the capital.

Applejack held her hooves in front of her mouth. “Be careful!” she shouted at the backs of the leaving ponies.

Wits End yawned, covering his mouth with a hoof. “Well, unless anypony has any objections, I guess we can get this show on the road.”

“The sooner the better,” Twilight agreed, starting out on their own road. “I’d like to get to the library as soon as possible.”

“I’m in complete agreement,” Wits End said with a smile. “I need context for what’s going on in this campaign.”

“Just so long as ya’ll don’t get distracted by suckin’ on each other’s faces,” Applejack said slyly.

Wits End’s smile fell clean off his face as he looked at the orange earth pony. “I thought we dropped that, Orangejack.”

“Watch it, Minty Fresh.”

Twilight sighed, hanging her head. “This is gonna be a looooong walk.”

ARC ONE: COMPLETE

Comments

[Canary In The Coal Mine]

Well, that should make updating the story a bit easier, with three authors.

That aside, good thing all the parties were mixed up from before.

[bluemoon1996]

When you reach the capital,” he boomed impressively, despite his corked nostrils. “Look to my coming at first light of the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east.”

Lord of the rings reference for the win