Soarin, What Are You Doing Here?
It was the sound of screaming of the mechanical breaks outside of the Appaloosa’s tiny train station that was heard when the train came to a halt. Even before the train made a full stop, an orange blur jumped right out, running out of the train. When the train stopped, five other blurs ran after the orange one through the town.
The one who’s running at top speed is a worried relative with scenario after horrifying scenario playing as quickly as the hooves that carried her. Applejack had received a letter from a cousin of hers; from the only relative who lives here, Cousin Braeburn Apple. But what made her so worried wasn't only that the letter looked like it was written in a hurry; and not because it said that she must come to Appaloosa as quickly as possible. No, what really made her go into a mad gallop to where her cousin lives, was that the letter never once explained why she must come immediately.
Thinking the worse, she roped her friends into this worry fest in case of the worst might have happened, for at least she would have some backup.
The house where her cousin lives wasn’t all too far from the orchard in the desert. The house she was running to look right over the lines upon lines of apple trees. Being that there were limited materials to build since nearly everything is imported from somewhere else, the house was, of course, made simple. It was blue that made up two floors with an open porch that looks towards the town.
“Cousin Brae!” Applejack cried out as she didn’t bother to knock on the door. “Cousin! Where are ya?”
“Applejack?” a familiar voice called back, that came from the kitchen. Applejack rushed in to find (to her confusion) that her cousin was sitting down at a table with not a scratch on him. “Cousin AJ! Nice to see y-”
Applejack asked to give her a moment so she could catch her breath.
“You alright’?” her cousin asked as she took in lungful after lungful of the desert air.
“Applejack!” Braeburn turned in time to see his cousin’s friends come in.
“Hey howdy there Y'all, long time no see.” Braeburn greeted them as he got up from his seat, he gave a little bow to Princess Twilight, “And Twilight, congrats for gettin’ the crown and all.”
“Now hold on,” Applejack spoke, getting her breath back. “You’re fine?”
Braeburn raised an eyebrow, “'Course Ah am. What are ya talkin’ about?”
“Ah mean, you’re not hurt? No crop failure? No house burnin’ down? Nothin?”
His cousin turned to her friends, “What she talkin’ about?”
“You did send a letter didn’t ya?” Rainbow Dash asked, “It sounded urgent enough for AJ to drag all of us the way out here.”
“Oh…” Braeburn said, turning into a plier shade of yellow. “Um, that. Ah did mention somethin’ in there didn’t Ah?”
“No. No, you didn’t,” Fluttershy shook her head.
“O-Oh, um, w-well… uh…”
“Come on, spit it out,” Applejack said. “Whatever it is hasta been important. So what is it? In fact, what’s wrong?”
“Uh?”
“You’re sweatin’ like a pig, and it ain’t that hot out.” Braeburn reached to feel his face that, and sure enough, he felt his liquid nervousness.
“Uh… W-Well, t-the thing is… Ah-”
“Hey Brae?” this time, this new voice came from upstairs. “Is your cousin here already?”
“Crap,” Braeburn said in an unusually high voice followed by hoofsteps going to the top of the stairs, followed by the flapping of wings.
“Hey Rainbow,” the girls turned to find a familiar blue pegasus there.
“No way!” Rainbow Dash went up to the member of the Wonderbolts. “Soarin! I didn’t know that you’d be here in Appaloosa of all places! Are you guys doing a show here- wait…” Rainbow’s excitement suddenly came to a halt with a realization. “Your show won’t be out in weeks, and you guys aren’t performing anywhere near here. So… What are you doing here anyway?”
“What do ya mean?” Soarin asked, “Didn’t Brae tell you already?”
“Tell us what dear?” Rarity asked.
Soarin craned his neck over to the yellow apple, “So you haven’t told them yet, did you?”
“No, Ah haven’t,” Braeburn answered. “Ah was gonna get ta that.”
“But you haven’t said anything,” Pinkie pointed out.
“Seriously?” Soarin asked, “You still haven’t told them about-”
“Would Y'all stop dancin’ around the question at hoof here?” Applejack stomps her hoof in annoyance. “Could either of you please get straight to the-”
“Ah’m gettin’ married!” Braeburn interrupted his cousin. There was a moment of silence for the mares to process what they just heard until Pinkie broke the still moment by making the room rain confetti.
“Yea! Applejack’s cousin is getting hitched!”
“Actually, you’re right,” Applejack said now seemed to be in a much better mood. “This does call for a celebration! Congrats Brae! This really is wonderful news!” With a smile, she asked, “So who’s the mare?”
“Um…” Braeburn muttered nervously.
“Come on now,” Applejack said putting a hoof over her cousin to give him a hug. “Who’s the very, very lucky mare to win your heart huh?”
“Well… about that,” Braeburn was sweating again, rubbing a hoof over the back of his neck. “Ah am getting’ married soon, yeah, but it’s just that-”
Soarin rolled his eyes, “And I have an announcement as well, I’m getting married too.”
More confetti, “Hooray! A double wedding! I love those!” Pinkie said bouncing off the walls like a rubber ball.
“I didn’t know you have a special somepony,” Rainbow said. “So who is it anyway? Spitfire?”
“Nope.”
“Fleetfoot?”
Seeing that this is going nowhere, Soarin went over to Braeburn. “Here, allow me to give you all a little hint.” It is right there that Soarin did something that made their eyes pop out, jaws to hit the floor, and every mind in that room come to a screeching halt: Soarin put a wing over Braeburn, and lean in to give him a kiss on the cheek. Braeburn looked away but blushed madly.
For a while, no one made a sound, that was until Rarity spoke what was on their minds, “Well, I didn’t see that coming.”
Another long pause.
“That… is… so… AWESOME!” this came from Rainbow Dash. "Hey AJ, you're gonna have a Wonderbolt for a cousin!"
Braeburn blinked, “Wha?”
“Oh! Oh! Can I plan your guys’ wedding?” Pinkie asked smiling.
“Wha?” Braeburn asked again, trying to process what he's hearing.
“Well, congratulations you two,” Twilight nodded.
“Again, What?!” Braeburn questioned what was going on in front of him was really happening.
Fluttershy raised a hoof, “Excuse me, is there something wrong? That is if you don’t mind of me asking.”
“Ah didn’t think… Did ya…”
“Brae, relax,” Soarin said patting the back of Brae's neck. “I told you that everything’s gonna be fine.”
Braeburn ignored his husband-to-be, “So wait, did any of Y'all know that Ah’m… you know?”
“By now, I for one shouldn’t be that surprised,” Rarity told him. “I mean, that well-kept mane and tail should have been a dead giveaway. Along with the hat, vest and not to mention that lovely figure of yours dear.”
“Ah didn’t mean it!”
Soarin failed to suppress a chuckle.
“So when’s the wedding?” Pinkie asked. “Oh! Oh! Can I also plan your after party too?”
“Excuse me Y'all,” this time, Applejack finally spoke up. “Would you girls mind if Ah can talk with ma cousin for a while, alone?”
Soarin stepped forward, “Anything you have to say to him, you'll have to say it to me too.”
“Well, fine, let me include you too. Besides," Applejack clarified. "Ah ain’t gonna yell at ‘em, Ah just really need ta talk is all. So would you girls mind steppin’ out for a moment?”
Although, regrettably, they did. Leaving only her cousin and one of the most famous pegasi in Equestria alone in the kitchen.
“Applejack, Ah-” was as far as Braeburn got before his cousin told him to sit down.
“You too,” she told Soarin. He took a seat beside Braeburn.
“Now, before Ah say anythin’ that Ah might regret later on,” Applejack told them. “At least could the two of ya could give me some answers first.”
“Answers?” Braeburn asked.
“Like what, where, when, why and how?” she said as she took a seat in front of them. “So, start talkin’, Y'all start at the beginning, and ya can stop with the letter.”
“Fair enough,” Soarin nodded. “I guess I should start huh?”
“Ah guess so. 'Side's, Soarin, Ah thought from the fans that Rainbow tells me about that you leaned towards mares.”
Soarin snorted, “That’s a common misconception, but then again, I don’t very often tell ponies that I go both ways; I didn’t figure it was all that important. After all, if the team doesn’t care, why should I? But you might be wondering how I ended up falling head over hooves with this guy?”
Applejack nodded.
“Well, a couple of years ago, Spitz had given me a, I guess you might call an ‘order’ to take some time off from the team and just relax somewhere. She told me that she didn’t care where so just as long as I can relax, you know? Anyway, I took a train going towards Applewood when, wouldn’t ya know it, our train broke down here in Appaloosa."
"Fillies and Gentlecolts," the train conductor announced when he got to the same car as Soarin. "The train has stopped for repairs. We are now in the town of Appaloosa. Everyone, please leave the train so we can make these repairs as soon as possible, thank you."
"Seriously?" Soarin quickly joined in with the choir of complaints. He looked out the window to the small town that's smack dabbed between nothing and forget-it-let's-move-on-to-somewhere-else. But nevertheless, Soarin put his bag over his back and moved along with the passengers off of the train. "Way to start a vacation," he muttered. "Now where could I find a-GAH!"
"Hi there!" Soarin was greeted with an unexpected smiling face in yellow. "Welcome to AAAAAAAppaloosa!"
'Is this how they greet ponies down here? Soarin thought, 'By giving them heart attacks?' "Uh, hey yourself?"
"Well, there ain't no need to be shy stranger, name's Braeburn. Everyone just calls me Brae for short." Here, Braeburn offered a hoof up to him.
"Soarin," he said as he took his hoof to shake it.
"Nice ta meet ya," Braeburn said with a smile that would easily rival Pinkie Pie's. "Ah jus' heard about Y'alls train breakin' down, sorry about that."
"Eh, it ain't your fault. Besides, you have any idea where I can get a room around here?"
"Sure, we have a hotel here."
"Mind showing me?" Braeburn agreed to take him to it. But by the time they got there, they found a line that was made up of passengers leading up to the only hotel in town.
"Oh joy," Soarin cursed. "At this rate, I won't even get a room by the time I get over there."
"Maybe..." Braeburn mussed, "Say, you needed a room right? So why not come over to where Ah live. Ah got a spare room that nopony's usin'."
"You sure? I don't wanna be a burden on-"
"Nonsense! You would be no burden on me at all! We do value hospitality, after all, so come on! My house is this way," Braeburn started to trot off, leaving Soarin not much choice but to follow him.
His friendly host did slow down when they reached the edge of town for his guest to catch up.
"Gonna be a beautiful night, Ah could tell," Soarin looked up to what his host was looking at. The sky was dark since the sun had set a while ago, and now the stars were coming out one by one.
Soarin nodded, "Yeah, good for stargazing."
"You ever do that?"
"Hm? Do what?"
"Stargazin'?"
"Oh. Yeah but not all that often. So except for scaring the wits out of ponies, what do ya do?"
Braeburn laughed, "Ha! That's jus' a case of bad habit Ah think, Ah'm an unofficial greeter around here. Always tryin' to be friendly to anypony who comes into our town, give them the grand tour and all! Hey! Want me to show ya the town!?"
"No thanks, I prefer some sleep."
"Oh," Braeburn frowned. "Ah guess that's fine too."
They walked on in silence until Soarin start back up the conversation. "Got any family?"
"Ah do indeed," Braeburn was back to smiling once again. "Jus' that at the moment Ah don't live with any of them."
"Why's that?"
"Us Apples are spread all over Equestria. There's at least one or two in every town, but Ah'm the only one who lives here at the moment."
"So you live alone huh?"
Braeburn sighed, "Yeah."
"You got a special somepony at least?"
"Me? Well..." he paused for a moment, "Not really."
"Shy?"
".... Somethin' like that."
"Oh."
"What about you?"
"Huh?"
"You got family?"
"Depends on how you look at it. I mean, I have parents and a few siblings, it's just that I haven't seen any of them in years."
"Oh, Ah'm sorry about that."
"Nah, you're fine. My team is my real family."
"Your team?"
"Yeah, the Wonderbolts. I mean, you've heard of us right?"
"Sir, Ah live in Appaloosa, this is the last place in Equestria to find out what's goin' on."
“On the way here," Braeburn explained, "we started talkin’. Jus’ everyday stuff, ya know? Like what kind of work we do, the kind of family we have-”
“What you put in your eggs in the morning, you remember that?” Soarin asked.
“Yeah, like Ah put some cottage cheese and you’d get fancy with yours-”
“Can we move on?” Applejack asked.
“Oh, sorry,” Braeburn apologized. “Anyways, the next mornin’ we found out that his train won’t get movin’ until later on that night. So, Ah asked him if he wouldn’t mind helpin’ me in the fields and he said yes to it. And ya know, we spend so much time gatherin’ apples, listenin’ tell his stories, him laughin’ at my jokes that we didn’t realize what time it was. It wasn’t until we’ve heard the train whistle that we realized how long we’ve been out there. ‘Course, he was upset that he’d missed the train, so Ah took him to town ta cheer him up.”
“I ended up spending my vacation time here,” Soarin said. “While it wasn’t exactly as I was expecting, being with him made those bad few days a whole lot better.”
“Ha, thanks,” Braeburn smiled at the compliment.
“So, the day before I had to leave, was the day I found out that he’s in the closet. You remember what happened on that day, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, Ah do,” Braeburn nodded.
"Brae? You around?" Soarin called out as he wandered through the house. Since the next train out would be tomorrow, he thought that he would at least say thanks to his host that have been generous to him during his stay.
When he couldn't find him in the house, he stepped outside to hear the humming of a violin. He tracked down the sound until he found Braeburn overlooking the orchards, playing the violin. His back was against Soarin, seeming to only be concentrating only on the sunset in front of them.
Brae played on his violin something that Soarin had never heard before. It was a song with its long notes hold loneliness as well as extreme beauty.
"Not bad," Braeburn jumped at Soarin's compliment.
"Sorry, Ah didn't know you were there," Braeburn said, putting down his violin.
"But in all seriousness, that was good."
Braeburn smiled sheepishly, "No Ah ain't. Ah'm not really good at it, it's jus' a kind of hobby is all."
"And I say that was good," Soarin went up to Braeburn. "Besides, I was looking for ya, to tell ya thanks for putting up with me."
"Really?"
"Yeah, not the kind of vacation I had in mind, but I wouldn't trade it anyway. Besides, you made my stay really enjoyable here."
"Why thank ya kindly," Braeburn said with a blush.
"I wouldn't mind coming back here, at least the nights are quiet and you are a ton of fun to talk to."
"And Ah love bein' around with ya too-" As soon as those words escaped Braeburn's mouth, he quickly covered his mouth in horror.
"Brae?"
"Oh Celestia, Ah'm so sorry!"
"Uh, Brae?"
"A-Ah didn't mean ta say somethin' like that!"
"Braeburn?"
"Just forget Ah said it," Soarin saw that tears were forming in his host's eyes.
"Brae."
"Please forgive me! Ah didn't-"
"BRAE!" Soarin barked, "What's gotten into you? You've got nothing to apologize for. So what you like me? It's not you..." Soarin trailed off with a thought. "Braeburn, are you gay?"
Braeburn's eyes widen in horror.
"You are, aren't-"
"PLEASE DON'T TELL!!" Soarin's host pleaded, "Soarin, Ah'll do anythin' you say jus' please don't tell anypony!"
"Brae, calm down, this isn't something to get all upset over."
"YES IT IS!" the cowpony yelled. At this point, he was crying, "It ain't right, Ah know. It ain't right that Ah should like a stallion how others do with mares. But Ah jus' can't help it! Ah don't want this town ta think Ah'm a freak, they respect me too much that Ah can't ever let them know this. Please Soarin, Ah'm beggin' ya, please don't tell!"
"Braeburn," Soarin did something that caught the cowpony completely off guard. "When I come back here, would you go on a date with me?"
His host went still for a while, but eventually asked, "What?"
"You heard me, when I come back, do you wanna go out with me? I mean, I'm not seeing anypony as of late."
"But, you? With me?"
"Hey, why not? You're a great guy, so why not?"
"But Ah thought you'd got marefriends."
"Brae, I don't care if you're a mare or a stallion, if I think you're a good pony to be with, I can give it a shot."
"Well," Braeburn started as he whipped his tears away. "Even so, Ah still have no idea what Ah'm doin'."
"Leave it to me then," Soarin leaned in and gave Braeburn a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll be looking forward to it."
“Cousin’,” Braeburn said to Applejack as he looked straight in her eyes. “That day was one of the happiest days of ma life. And whenever he came along, it made each minute so much sweeter than apple jam made at the height of Applebuck season. This stallion here performed a miracle that Ah thought would never happen.”
“And what’s that?” Applejack asked.
“He fell in love with me because of me.”
“Awe, come over here,” Soarin said, as he reached over to mess up his mane. Braeburn couldn’t help but smile.
“Then what?” Applejack asked.
“Well, eventually, the town got suspicious about us. It wasn’t too long until rumors about us caught fire. Thankfully, nopony here laid a hoof on either of us (thank Celestia for that) but for a while, we did get shunned. Nopony would talk to us, nopony would work with either of us, even at times we didn’t even get as much as a bite to eat sometimes.”
“That is where I came in,” Soarin said.
"Dismissed!" Spitfire shouted as that day's worth of training came to an end. The recruits saluted and went their ways.
"Hey Spitz," Soarin called out as he flew near. "I really need to talk to ya."
"Sure thing, let's go to my office," the two pegasi made their way to the Captain's office. When they got there to shut the door, Spitfire asked what's up, "Remember what I've said a few weeks ago?"
"Affirmative," Spitfire nodded. "You came out as bi and that you have a coltfriend in Appleloosa, why?"
"That's what I want to speak to you about. Spitz, that town is making a living nightmare for both of us down there."
"What did they do?"
"We've been shunned," he told her."Everywhere we go, the folks there either avoid us or kick us out from their businesses, even when we're willing to pay."
"You're kidding?"
"No, neither of us have experienced any real violence there (thank Celestia) but they can get harsh when they speak to us. In fact, the Sheriff there even called him..." Spitfire asked what did he call him, "Coltcuddler. He called him that right in front of his face. But I fear that unless something isn't done, it's only going to get worse."
"What do you propose to do?"
"The folks there won't listen to either of us, so I'm wondering if you would put in a word for us. To tell them that we're not that different as they think."
"I see," Spitfire nodded. "I won't promise any miracles, but I'll gather some of the team that knows you both, and goes down there to see if any of them are willing to listen."
"Thank you, Captain. Thank you so much."
"As I said, we'll see what we can do, you're dismissed."
“And it worked?” Applejack questioned.
“Only slowly,” Braeburn told her. “It didn’t happen overnight, but one by one, pony by pony, they started talkin’ to us. And, one by one, Ah came out to them. Ah told them that Ah ain’t proud by any definition (Ah’m still not), but that doesn’t mean that Ah won’t deny it either. And you know what, they saw that in the end, we’re just normal ponies like them, most still think it’s weird, but at least they now leave us alone.”
“What about the Buffalo tribe?” Applejack asked. “Don’t they know?”
“They do actually,” Soarin said. “And not only that but surprisingly, they now both respect and fear us at the same time.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because, as it turns out,” Braeburn said, “they believe in somethin’ called ‘Two-Spirit’. We were told that in the tribe (as far as Ah know), that while it doesn’t happen very often, but sometimes they would have someone called a ‘Two-Spirit’; meaning that one has a mix of both male and female spirits in the same body. Like that one person could be a warrior, but at the same time can cook for the whole tribe, somethin’ that a mare is supposed to do in their case. They believe that havin’ a relationship with a ‘Two-Spirit’ would give the partner, in this case, Soarin, powers of masculinity, and therefore be powerful in battle.”
“They even performed a ritual for us,” Soarin added. “And just recently too when we told them that we’re planning to get married soon. So of course, the town knows about us, the tribe knows, my team knows, but for Brae, the only ones who don’t know is his family.”
Braeburn nodded, “Yeah, Ah admit, Ah rewrote that later at least a hundred times, but in the end, Ah settled on tellin’ you. But Ah didn’t expect you’d bring your friends over.”
Applejack sat there for a minute or so, not making a sound. “Well,” she said at last, “despite Y'all in a relationship with a stallion, which Ah still think is a bit weird. Guess it might take a bit of time ta get used to Ah suppose. Yet lookin' at ya, you two seemed to be as happy and in tune as Mr. and Mrs. Cake on Hearts and Hooves day. Brae, when did ya weddin’ was again?”
“You… You mean?” Braeburn asked.
“Yeah, Ah’m givin’ ya a blessing for this. So when is it so Ah can come and cater?”
Braeburn leaped across the table, hugging her, “Oh Cousin’, Y'all have no idea how happy fer me ta hear that!”
“Mind lettin’ go?” his cousin said under his grip. After she got up, she turned to Soarin. “Now look here, Ah may have givin’ both of y'all ma blessin’ for that upcoming wedding, but as a proud member of the Apple’s, it’s my obligation to warn ya: that if any of us catch word that you have done something bad to my cousin here, remember this, one of my best friends is a Princess, so if ya hurt him, there will be consequences. Got it?”
Soarin nodded.
“Good,” Applejack nodded. “Pinkie’s right, this is a cause of celebration, so come on, let’s go into town and let’s have some fun.” She trotted out of the house, closing the door behind her.
“Brae,” Soarin said turning to his husband-to-be. “Remind me not to make your cousin angry, she is scary when she needs to be.”
Braeburn laughed, “That’s nothin’, wait ‘til ya met Granny Smith.”
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I like how your story got votes without any of the voters actually reading the story.
i.snag.gy/ssluB.jpg
5425642 Sigh, I know right?
5425642
I'm that one guy who absolutely despises shipping in all forms
so, naturally this reflected that.
5425702 .... I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut.
5425715
Sorry. I think shipping is kind of pointless.
5425642
that's weird there must be something wrong with it because i know i had another friend read it also.
When did Braeburn become a woman?
5425732 My bad, let me fix that.
5425702
So, what is the point of even going to the story? If you aren't going to read the story, there is no point in down voting, especially if you know you are not going to like it.
5425724
Well, when I was looking at it, it said that, but now it has views on it.
5425740
Oh contraire, my friend. If I KNOW I am going to dislike the story, than what's the harm in downvoting it? After all, I dislike it. And btw, I did in fact read (some) of it. And boy was my intuition right.
Fucking, Applejack. They're fucking.
5425744
So, based on the time I have known this story has been out, and when the down votes were placed, you have done more of a skim rather than a read.
The effects a down vote can have on a story: discourage other reads into thinking that the story was bad grammar/plot wise rather than just someone not liking it for being what it is. If you don't like it for being a specific genre, don't click it. If you aren't going to actually read the story (all of it), and give it a reasonable chance, don't even bother going near it.
Sadly, you are a new member, so I won't really expect much.
5425774
5425744 Now now, both of you, if either of you are going into a comment war, do it on Twitter or Facebook if both of you please.
5425774
So just because I'm a new member I'm automatically a dumbass then?
I downvote something when it goes somewhere I don't like. That's how I do things.
5425781
Don't have either, my friend. Can't so anywhere but here.
5425759 Okay, okay, that's actully funny.
5425783
Your choice. How you interpret my words is your choice and your mind. I can tell you simply what I mean by what I say, but I prefer the many people I converse with to think more than they want to; it brings out character. That is how I work.
5425781
Hate Twitter, sorry, and I'm frightened of the many pedophiles on Facebook. If any of them were to find out who I am, who knows what they would do. They might... watch My Little Pony with me! Actually, that doesn't sound too bad.
5425814
And so the time comes when I meet the first person on fimfiction I don't really care for.
I honestly thought this was your average shipping story to be honest. There wasn't much going on. There needs to be more to it than just a simple bashing of the two together and coming up with a storyline for their relationship.
5425642
Total views don't tally until after a certain point. It's not automatic.
5425869 Any helpful suggestions before I head off soon?
5425884 Maybe utilize flashbacks during dialogue to help describe and show us the scenes as to how they formed the relationship instead of simply telling us what happened. It seems like it ran too quick and it didn't really fill in all the blanks.
This whole bit could've been told in a flashback and expanded on. I felt like I just viewed a conversation and not really got the whole picture.
Plus, there's not a lot of flare into this fic. Not saying it needs some purple prose, because that's unnecessary for a story like this. Rather, maybe some sentence variation or different literary techniques (like poetic verse) maybe help spice your story a bit.
I do like how excited the two are in telling AJ their relationship. That was a good call, but the story itself seemed generic and not its own story you know?
5425907 I'll see what I can come up with, but for now I really need some sleep.
well crackinkwell i liked it, yes its a bit basic but every once in a while i like a short and sweet story that gets right to the point! good luck on the writing!
Well the first thing I feel the need to say is that this story is written poorly. On a technical level, it's just plain bad.
However, it is also really rather charming. Plus, it's always nice to see an AJ that the author has not turned into a homophobic villain. For AJ the most important thing is always going to be family, and I got a real sense of that out of this fic.
I like gay horse words.
5425744
Votes should only be given based on the content of a story, not the premise. You wouldn't upvote a crossover with a game or movie you like that has terrible grammar and plot, just because it's a crossover, would you?
Follow for follow? Anyone?
Is that supposed to be "failure"?
"fault"
"beautiful" Or, as Jim Carrey would say "B...E...A...utiful...."
Habit only has one "b"
"wandered through"
"The recruits saluted"
"Captain"
"Affirmative."
The proper spelling of the town is Appleloosa. Appaloosa is an actual breed of horse that the town derives its name from.
"shunned"
"avoid" and "businesses"
"experienced", "violence" and 'Sheriff".
"What do you propose"
"different"
And that's just the spelling mistakes. Don't even get me started on the grammar mistakes and wrong tenses.
5428210 Thank you for that, I'll correct them as soon as I can.
If you want to edit this, I'll welcome it. Besides, the rewrite was done on a tablet with no spell check. (And even for me it's incredibly annoying!)
The story itself is perfectly fine. Not particularly outstanding, but it was charming and sweet, and I liked it as a whole.
But buddy, you really need to get yourself a proof-reader/editor. The grammar and spelling mistakes in this story are REALLY bad, especially near the end, where it seems to just take a nosedive. It really distracts from the story you're trying to tell, and as a result it pulls you out of the narrative and takes away the atmosphere you've created.
Other than that, great job on the story. You show a lot of potential for a writer, you just need to organize things a bit more, and work on your spelling and grammar.
Keep up the good work!
I like the story and I hope a sequel is out soon!
-Lightning \[T]/
5429373
Funny, I thought I mentioned something like that. Oh well, Thanks anyway.
5429932
Whoops, my mistake!
Either way, great job on the story!
5430322 As an after-thought, you were right on one thing: this story is indeed ment to be a short and sweet story. And it's something that I've ment to write but never got the chance to. I never ment for the thing to be an instant masterpeice, but something enjoyable to write, even when there's not much meat on it's bones.
Again, thanks anyway.
5426024 That in a nutshell was my intention.
Love this shipping
this was nice story, the part about buffalo's was nice touch to add
I like this story and I don't even like any kind of shipping
(Except derpy and doctor whooves ship)
Nice fanfic!
I like it how you tried to put detail on how they met, how they got togheter and etc. The way that they had to deal with unnasceptance was really well-descripted, and I can totally understand why Braeburn was scared of telling AJ, after all, he already had a bad experience, even if with just rumors. Also like the way you portray AJ, so yep.
Keep up with the good work!
I like this story its a nice little ship that i quite enjoyed
8211818 And yet, even though you clearly saw the very cover, instantly knew what it was about from the description, you still clicked on it...
This to me is much more fascinating then insulting.
8211853 Look, I get that this sort of thing isn't exactly everyone's cup of tea. But one would think that it's common sense that if there are obvious themes that one doesn't like, one shouldn't click on it in the first place. I can't say that I'm offended but rather puzzled then anything else.
I'm always happy to find a Soarburn story I haven't read. Pretty quick, but I liked it. Nice work.
8211961
It is not correct to treat others' tastes in this way. Sorry but this kind of behavior can be hurtful for readers and authors who love and write Ship M/M
You don’t like it, so you don’t read a story that doesn’t hide from its contents. If you do not like a vegetable you will not voluntarily take some is not? The same logic is involved here.
8211859
What did the deleted comment say? I'm assuming it was bashing the story for having m/m themes, but I could be wrong.
Edit: I looked at the other comments, and that turned out to be the case.
I can't for the life of me figure out why some people feel the need to bash m/m stories in that way. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯