Hello, dearest readers! 'Tis I, Discord, your host.
And I'm sure that round now is when you could use most
Some holiday cheer, to distract from the madness,
Well, fear not! For with humor, I'll banish your sadness.

Yes indeed, I'll relate in this Hearth's Warming Story
How I flattened and plasticized Sweet Mi Amore.
Worry not--I'm no monster--there indeed was a reason
I turned Princess Cadenza to beads: 'twasn't treason.
No I had a fair plan transmogrifying her so,
Now read on! To discover my logic below!