Part 3 - What She Wants
Fluttershy was walking down the road to Ponyville. Birds came flying up to her to chirp her their greeting, but she didn’t pay them any mind. Through her head went only one question: how had she fallen for Rainbow Dash? She’d spent most of the night thinking about that question, but the only thing she’d gotten out of that was a headache and not enough sleep.
This wasn’t fair. With Big Mac it had been different; she hadn’t even really known him at the time – she still barely did – and even though she’d been heartbroken, the memory of it felt shallow in comparison to what she was going through right now. Rainbow Dash wasn’t just some good-looking and likable pony for her to lose her heart to; she was also her best friend. Or, used to be anyway, Fluttershy wasn’t quite sure where they sat now.
But she couldn’t change the way she was feeling, no matter how hard she tried. She wasn’t sure if she’d rather talk to Rainbow or seek distance – but then, the latter would mean giving up on everything they’d had, and Fluttershy just couldn’t bring herself to do that. That was why, as soon as her animals had been taken care of in the morning, she’d left to search for Rainbow and put things back in order. Somehow.
She’d hoped to find Rainbow Dash at home – actually, she’d half expected her to be still asleep – but the cloud house had been empty, with no sign of its resident. Which meant one of two things; she was either out for training, or in town.
As Ponyville came nearer, Fluttershy saw the branches of the giant tree that was the library peeking over the rooftops. It had always been one of the first things that would come into sight; peeking into a blue sky, shaking in a storm, or even wearing a crown of snow. It had been but a week ago that Fluttershy had come here last, right before all the trouble had started. Now, she felt like somepony else entirely. Whether that was a good or a bad thing she wasn’t sure; either way, things had been easier before.
She set her eyes on the door. Fluttershy had always envied Twilight a little for living in a tree like a squirrel, or a little bird. When she’d just moved to her cottage, she would hide in between the library’s sweeping branches until the robin family that used to live here and the jay from across the street would come and convince her that it was safe to go on. She wished she could go back to that habit, but she knew well enough that she would only embarrass herself.
Just as she reached the door it swung open, and Applejack almost ran into her.
“Whoops, sorry.”
“Applejack!” After what had happened the last time Fluttershy had seen her she was more than a little anxious, but Applejack was smiling towards her as warmly as ever.
“Fluttershy, what a coincidence. Ah’ve just talked to Twilight about, well, recently. You see …” Her ears drooped a bit. “Ah’ve done an awful lot of thinkin’ and Ah reckon Ah’ve made quite a fool out of mahself. You know, even if mah barn door ain’t swingin’ that way, it was wrong to say others couldn’t feel differently – Ah really should’ve seen that when y’all were tryin’ to tell me. And Ah’m sorry that you had to be part of that argument with mah brother; Ah’m making it up to him as soon as Ah see him, promise.”
“We all say things we regret,” Fluttershy replied, with a hint of bitterness. “Don’t worry about me.”
“Thank you. So, Ah guess Ah’ll be searchin’ for –” Applejack’s eyes narrowed. “Pinkie, what in tarnation are you doin’?”
Fluttershy turned around, to spot a certain pink pony who had apparently just materialized behind them and was watching them with a giant bag of popcorn in her hooves.
“Don’t mind me, go on with what you were about to say.”
“And what exactly was I about to say?” Applejack asked.
“I can’t tell that, silly, that would be a spoiler!” She tossed some popcorn into her mouth and looked at them in expectation.
None of them moved.
“Oh come on, you’ve got to tell her about your feelings!”
“Pinkie, what in the name of Celestia are you talkin’ about?”
Pinkie cocked her head. “Wait, you’re not secretly in love with each other?”
“For pony’s sake! We’re both as straight as an espalier apple tree and you know that!”
“Um, you are, anyway,” Fluttershy remarked quietly. “But still, it’s not like you think, Pinkie.”
“Yeah, what she –” Apple began, then stumbled. “Wait a sec, what do you mean?”
Fluttershy’s wings cramped and tucked up uncomfortably to her sides. Heat rose into her cheeks. Suddenly, the door to the library opened, and Twilight stuck out her head. “Could you guys please move this somewhere else? Ponies are trying to work in here!”
Pinkie looked between her and Applejack, a mischievous smile forming on her face.
“Pinkie, you quit that nonsense this instant,” Applejack grunted.
Fluttershy said nothing.
“Okay, maybe that wasn’t it,” Pinkie Pie mused. “But something is going to happen, I just know it! My pinkie sense has been given me the strangest combinations lately.”
“Would you mind telling me what’s going on?” Twilight demanded. Applejack just shrugged. Pinkie had returned to her popcorn.
“Um …” They looked at Fluttershy. Finding herself in the sudden center of attention, she shrunk down a little, but stood her ground.
“Fluttershy,” Twilight asked, “do you have something that you want to tell us?”
She took a deep breath.
“I like mares.”
Pinkie’s chewing intensified.
“That’s, um, good for you I guess?” Twilight stuttered. You could virtually hear the gears working inside of her head.
Applejack had grown pale, staring onto the ground. “Shoot, Fluttershy. Ah really had no idea, no wonder you were so sensitive about the topic. Ah promise, if you find yourself somepony, and if it’s some nice ‘n purdy mare or not, Ah’ll be happy for you. You’re mah friend after all.”
“It’s okay, Applejack, I’m glad you feel that way.” She stepped forward and hugged her friend, which Applejack gladly returned.
“But right now,” Fluttershy continued, “I really need to talk to Rainbow Dash. Does anypony know where she is?”
Applejack and Twilight shook her head.
“Oh, I know where she is!” Pinkie cheered. “She’s right above us, searching for you!”
Fluttershy looked up and was just able to catch a glimpse of a something before it touched down right next to her, accompanied by an audible thump and a flash of rainbow colors.
Rainbow Dash was catching her breath. The strands of her mane were loose and tangled after the flight, and her coat could need a brushing or two as well; in her hooves she held a bouquet of lilies, which had also suffered a little from the high speed. But Fluttershy only briefly took notice of that; she had her eyes elsewhere, getting lost somewhere in the elegant curves of her wings, or was it the soft feathers, or the radiant colors of her mane, or … Fluttershy realized she was staring and got a hold of herself.
“See –” she began just as Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to speak. They both stopped and looked at each other awkwardly. The faint noise of popcorn being chomped reached Fluttershy’s ears.
Rainbow Dash’s hoof picked the ground, then she coyly offered the flowers to Fluttershy. “I came to apologize. Like, for real. I-I know this isn’t gonna make everything okay again, and to be honest, I don’t expect you to forgive me. I know I messed up and gave you a really hard time, and I deserve everything you said to me but … I know you like flowers so I just hope that these make you feel maybe a little better.”
Fluttershy took the lilies and smelled them, hiding her face behind them so nopony could see how flustered she was. The white petals were covered with dewdrops from flying through the clouds, making them sparkle in the sunlight. Even after a rough flight, they were still beautiful.
“I like them. But you didn’t have to, really; I was upset, and I-I shouldn’t have been so hard on you.”
“Don’t blame yourself, I was the one who messed up.”
“We both did.”
Rainbow’s eyes teared. “Does that mean t-that you can forgive me?”
“Rainbow Dash …” Fluttershy clutched the flowers. Stay put. “Rainbow Dash, I think I love you.”
In the distance, a piece of popcorn dropped onto the floor.
“A-Are you serious?”
Fluttershy nodded. “I’m so sorry, I know you said you don’t want me. It’s okay if we just …” Her vision got blurry, reducing the pony in front of her to a palette of rainbow colors.
“You know I’m usually not one for the mushy stuff and, actually, screw that, ‘cause this is so worth it.” Fluttershy felt a pair of forelegs wrapping around her neck, pulling her close.
“What are you –”
“I love you too, duh.”
“But you said –”
“Yeah, and I lied. Dumb idea, come to think of it now, but I was too afraid to lose you, especially when I thought you were …”
“I know. I was afraid, too.”
“You didn’t give in to it, though. Even if you hid yourself away for a couple days and all that, in the end.” She squeezed Fluttershy tightly, then drew back to look her into the eyes. “You’re a much braver pony than I am.”
“Brave? I’m afraid of my own shadow!”
“I know! And I know that sometimes it’s hard for you to just go outside. But somehow you put up with all that and I have no idea how you do it. Really, you’re amazing, Fluttershy.”
A warm sensation poured down Fluttershy’s back. Rainbow Dash thought she was amazing.
Rainbow Dash loved her.
“Now just tell me this isn’t a dream,” Rainbow pleaded. “I don’t think I could take waking up right now.”
Fluttershy smiled and, before the other mare knew what happened, leaned forward, searching for Rainbow’s lips with her own. The world around them disappeared as she closed her eyes, leaving behind nothing but the two of them. This was certainly no dream – the contact of their bodies felt too real, and so did the warm taste of the lips locked with hers.
It took some time for Fluttershy to remember they weren’t alone. She slowly opened her eyes and, being the brave pony she was, ignored the voice inside of her that told her to run away. Instead, she nestled against Rainbow’s side, comforted by a large blue wing.
Blame it on coincidence or on the mysterious and magical connection their destinies shared, but in that exact moment, a mountain of shopping bags floating towards them announced the arrival of the one pony missing in their round: Rarity.
“Why, are we having some kind of get-together I forgot about?” Her gaze fell upon Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash and her eyes grew wide with excitement. “Oh. Ooh! This is marvelous! I must admit even I did not expect it to happen that fast.”
“W-what do you mean?” Fluttershy stuttered.
“Oh darling, it was just obvious! I don’t mean to sound supercilious, but what was going on with you two was there for everypony to see who possesses a sense for romance.” Fluttershy looked around, but apparently Rarity seemed to be the only one of her friends with a sense like that.
She turned towards Rainbow Dash again, who was searching for her gaze.
“Fluttershy, you wanna go? I kinda feel like having some privacy.”
Fluttershy nodded. The prospect of being alone with Rainbow Dash in some nice, quiet place made her heart jump in her chest.
This was what she wanted.
They took leave of their friends, each of which hugged them tightly before releasing the couple to fly away. Fluttershy had never felt so light when taking off. She could only think of Rainbow Dash. Of the mare that made her brave. The one pony that she knew would always be there for her. Her marefriend.
Rainbow Dash was what she wanted.
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While this is pretty well written and put together, the story flowing almost perfectly throughout. The plot itself is so bland and generic that I had to force myself to read the last chapter. This fic is exactky like the majority of the other thousand ship fics on this site.
"-insert name here-, I have a crush on you!"
"OMG! Wait a minute, Holy shet I think have a crush on you too!"
"Omagurr let's go out and get married and stuff."!
For once, I would like to see a romance story where they don't get together, where the characters love interest has no feelings for them what-so-ever and is in love with someone else completely. No Polymory.. No sudden surge of romantic feelings for the main protagonist. Just heartbreak. I thought this fic was gonna have Fluttershy with a crush in Dash, but with Dash in a relationship with Big Maccie, no hope for a relationship with Flutters. That would've been interesting!
Oh andI'm still gonna like this fic, simply becuase of how well writtem it is.
5401308 Holy shit, I'm writing a fic just like that!
what happened to "if you got nothing nice to say, dont say anything at all" ?
5401308
Why did you have to plant this idea in my head? I mean, it's not like the concept is unheard of, but upon reading your comment, the entire plot for a fic just exploded inside my head. (a slow explosion that lasted the course of me taking a shower, but... well... it felt like an explosion.)
I'm in the middle of another fic, but it looks that's going to have to be put aside while I get this done. sigh...
(seriously though, I actually think it's going to be pretty good.)
5403006 I never said anything mean or offensive. I commented twice on how well written this fic is and on how well the plot seems to flow throughout. It's mainly the plot itself that threw me off of this fiction.
5403135 If you write that, I'd read the Hell out if it!
5402599 SERIOUSLY? Please Link me when you're done, I'd love to see this rare occurrence for myself.
5401308
Thanks for the comments, they actually help me a lot. See, I was worried a bit about all the dislikes, I couldn't really explain them and since I'm not a native speaker I'm always kinda cautious about my writing. If the problem really is the plot then for me that's a rather good thing because it means I just have to come up with better plots, which is like, hard, but still easier than having to fix my writing from the bottom up.
5403006
While I appreciate the gesture of trying to protect me, you have to understand that this is criticism and meant to point out the weak spots of a story. While everyone likes to hear how awesome they are, this kind of response is the best an author can get as long as it's reasonable and not delivered in an insulting manner.
5403966 You're welcome, I understand the frustration you only seem to get praise for a fic. You need to know the bad parts of your writing so you can improve and better perfect them. I'm not saying that people should completely slander and be a dick about it but, a little advice always helps!
Another thing, did that guy seriously dislikes my comments? He read into things that weren't even there to begin with. What hateful abuse did I throw your way? What mean, discouraging words of slader did I utter within my written feedback?
It was well written and I liked it. Their romance seemed a bit rushed in the last chapter, but was still nice. And I like how you wrote Pinkie Pie! And you did a good job redeeming AJ, since she seemed kinda heartless in chapter 1.
sorry i had a paladin complex...forgive me
5407996 It's no problem
5406108 Thanks for the feedback! Glad you liked it.
5408639 I felt the change of mind Applejack did was a tad bit too quick. That is all. Overall this was nice. I know how it feels faking you don't feel something about someone who's in love with someone else.
Overall few errors here like I mentioned in my previous comments. You should post more stories I think.
5412745 My idea of Applejack in this fanfiction is that she doesn't know better and is just stubborn about the topic. Like she was about Zecora in the respective episode. Maybe I didn't bring across that idea convincingly enough; I'll make sure to try and not upset people like this in the future. Just for the record, I totally like Applejack, this is just part of the story.
Anyway, thanks for the feedback!
What happened to this poor story? Where did all the downvotes come from? They're absolutely undeserved. I enjoyed this story a lot-- you're a srrong writer, and I wouldn't have known you aren't a native speaker if you hadn't said so. The plot was very enjoyable, but it does have some rough edges and puzzle pieces that don't quite fit together. The swiftness with which characters change their minds about fundamental parts of their identity or worldview seems odd, not to mention it messes with the pacing, and the fact that Rainbow took only a few days to get from keeping her orientation so secret that even Fluttershy didn't know to kissing a mare in the middle of Ponyville seems odd.
But your skill at characterization makes up for those flaws and then some. Most shipping stories tend to focus overwhelmingly on the shipped pair, with everyone else reduced to bit characters who behave exactly as expected and offer no surprises. But your peripheral characters are constantly dropping surprising details and sentiments that leave me feeling as though I've learned something new about each. (As others have hinted, though, Applejack needed some more development, as in the same story she holds two extreme viewpoints and swings between them so quickly that we're left confused.) There are lots of revealing moments of character development that are too complex for the show yet feel perfectly in character; I particularly loved Rainbow, distraught, prowling outside Fluttershy's cottage, trying to work up the nerve to knock, but getting caught and immediately trying to save face by being like "Oh hi there I was just in the neighborhood." Even the homophobia discussion among the six friends felt spot-on, right down to who spoke and who stayed silent and why.
I'm sorry you got downvote-bombed, because you definitely didn't deserve it. This is really good. Not perfect, of course, but what is?
5425985
Two or three weeks of editing already went into this alone, but I think it's more a general problem with the pacing. I'd have to dedicate more narrated time (and also narration time) to these things, but the plot doesn't really work like that for me. Then again, it's kind of an older story and I'm trying to improve on these flaws.
But I believe the reason for the downvotes isn't as much the technical side as me upsetting people about how I depict AJ in this. But that's a problem I don't think I'll have that much with future stories.
Anyway I appreciate the detailed feedback, thanks a lot for that! And I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
5426465
I've been noticing a lot of stories getting down votes because of Applejack being depicted like this. (Although not just her, any of the Mane Six really.) I don't understand why it is so hated. To me, Applejack and Rarity would be the most opposed to same gender relationships. Applejack because of how her family is with traditions, (Even getting angry with Twilight for using magic in Winter Wrap Up) and Rarity because she has more interest in romance than the rest of them, but limits to other stallions. Twilight is debatable considering the 'human' side of her.
I'd like to see directions of other ponies being opposed to same gender relationships since it's not explored often, but with all these down votes, people won't let them.
Aww, cute!
You have an adorable icon.
i.imgur.com/60vsKYa.jpg
On an entirely different note…
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/29/3d/17/293d17da846a9399d16d14de4553474b.jpg
moar plz?
7016019
Oh my, are you okay?