Ok, this is my attempt at a Pokemon gamer, who has a bit of a My Little Pony love, gets warped to Equestria as a Furret. It seems everypony thinks it’s cute to try and snuggle the almost 6ft long, fluffy animal that states his dislike of it. As this goes on, a powerful foe from the deep past awakens; dragons flee before it and even Celestia fears it due to its might. How in the name of all the legendary Pokemon will this turn out for the gamer turned Furret?
This Twilight is not an Alicorn in this story.
Rated: Teen I'm paranoid
Pokemon, MLP: FiM, nor any of the idea related to asassins creed are not owned by me
Those who want to hate, maybe you could recommend some good people that can help me get better.
Also; thanks to my editor idreas199 and theseventhaxol
I will post my unedited chapters first, then an edited version after they’re edited.
You really need to work on your spelling, even the description is riddled with errors.
Thanks I'm trying I am not very good at spelling I need an editor
I like this, but it feels a bit rushed with one second you're playing Pokémon, and the next you're in fluttershy's home. Sure I can see her taking in a giant ferret but a TALKING giant ferret might feel a bit much. I think that going for a higher intelligence route might fit better (like writing or drawing when she left some paper and pencils out) and no real talking until twilight casts a spell on him just realistic noises (no saying furret all the time but actually growling and such)
If there is anything that is unclear don't be afraid to send a message
/best wishes
Idreas
5092923 thanks for the input I appreceate it
5092923 is it better?
5093011 there are still some minor misspellings but otherwise it just got about ten times better. There is just one major thing that would make this better. Another chapter in the journey of this guy turned furret
Also if you need an editor I am free during weekends and Wednesdays... Just saying
/best wishes
Idreas
5093088 working on it need time.
5093088 I need an editor if you can do so pm me your gmail and I'll share my chapters for you to edit them.
*walk by, look at description*
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/226/113/tumblr_lvhuqruxUd1r1vzzeo5_r1_500.jpg
*runs away, flailing and hitting a stop sign, killing him*
<Congratulation, your bad grammar killed someone.>
5093142 you done over reacting got any constructive critisisim?
5093169
Yes. Work on your grammar.
If i already wasn't working for someone else as an editor, i would volunteer. Be that as it may, I will try to see if I would still have time to help. Will post conclusions.
5093442 you know thanks for your input
5093458 I got one but its nice to have a back up just encase
5093500 its good to hear you have one. I am still adjusting my schedule so I will probably need a bit more time to give a difinitive answer.
5093508 ok I understand
I added this to OSF right? Yup. Just checking.
5093548 OSF?
5093558
Overly Stupid Fanfiction.
5093561 I find the name of the group detrimentel to helping writers get better just my say though the name is clever.
I really liked the idea but the story seems a bit rushed my opinion is to wait longer before you simply jot down word after word
Mistake check
I am not one of those people that can find a single mistake in 1000 words but...where do I begin.
Look all I am saying is that you need to look over the description a 'little' bit
5105159 I know
Sorry about the deleat, know any grammer nazis
wall of text is blinding!
I want him to stay in equestria
He is.
Interesting concept ya got here. I enjoy the plot, but I feel like things are a little rushed, and I think that you should get a proof reader. Other then that, I'm enjoying the world you've built, and will definitely be keeping my eye on this one.
5200188 thanks
5201068
Not a problem!
Ggestions for what can happen?
Tell me if they brought back secret bases.
5228579 they confimed that a but ago. I'll let you know if they mega flygon
5228746 oh. But thanks for looking into mega flygon
5228764 I hope they do mega flygon.
In the first bit, i think you meant "shudder",, right?
Was this ever overhauled yet?
Celestia is fat