First: I saw I had a new favorite to read, and I was like "I don't really feel like reading anything. . . unless it's Rarity's Worst Day Ever." And it was!
Second: I really want to see this Dash being pregnant thing play out. I have my theories, but I won't mention them because I'd look dumb if I was wrong and I'd spoil it for other people if I was right. I know we'll get there eventually, but I really can't wait.
So, to sum up, you're writing a seriously addictive story here. Keep it up!
And now we get to the moment of truth. If this plays out the way you're implying I might have to be done after the next chapter......
I've never been good with the whole emotional train-wreck thing, irl or in stories, mostly because every single bit of it can be solved in like 5 minutes if people/ponies would just stop and actually talk to each other. It grates on my patience so I get bored and just kind of walk away. But you're a talented writer. Even with my natural aversion to this kind of story you've managed to keep me around. But a large part of that was the relationship you set up between Twilight and Trixie. If that one ends up in the wood chipper along with all the other ones......
I have a feeling we're about to see some hardcore bondage sex with Princess Luna, under normal circumstances this would be a "Hell yes!" moment but considering the way this story is going...it seems more like we're about to see some rape
What if... Nightmare Moon was... the effective Goddess (or avatar) Of Erotic Torture? A Cenobite as if from the movie Hellraiser - an entity with a different notion of pleasure, of what is 'good'? I wonder if that then is the source of the power of the bits, and also of a relationship to the Lulamoons.
I cannot help but ponder the possibility that, perhaps, long, long ago, the two princesses were literally princesses of Light and Dark, Positive and Negative as much as Sun and Moon, and that each represented those traits in every aspect, including sexual proclivities? Perhaps each had created their own versions of the pony species, and the Lulamoons represent the bloodline of the ancient Dark, which could explain Trixie being a sort of throwback to that earlier, more savage time.
I cannot help but imagine we may be getting some intriguing worldbuilding one way or another by the end of this carnival ride.
My loathing and despair at Rainbow Dash almost melted away with this chapter - because here is such evidence of where the greatest love truly lies. Rarity may love, in her own way, and decidedly wants to possess Applejack, but when feather is weighed against soul, Rainbow Dash genuinely wants Applejack to be happy, even at the cost of her own happiness, even at the cost of her own life, I suspect. Dash doesn't want to possess, as Rarity does. Dash, for all of her considerable faults... loves most truly, it seems.
That one thing, that one vast, magnificent, all-important thing so redeems Dash in my eyes. I have been alternately pitying and loathing her in this story, but now... now I have seen a gem hidden in that ball of feces, and while the package stinks, there is treasure there in the soil of her shame.
Heh... yeah, Ok, sorry. But still, the point stands.
954303 The word you're looking for is 'seduction'...
954474 Yes she does. I'm not sure there is another pony in the story who will have grown so much- though there is one other who has to cover a lot of ground...
Gosh. I like this 'forcing folks to see the true heart of characters that are dear to me' but dang! Ball of what? I guess her crazier behaviors don't sit well with you. That treasure is right there even as she's saying "Hard partying. Crazy sex. It was awesome. You don't like it? Get in line." defiantly.
954197 I never said I was going to break up Twi and Trixie. Does it seem to make sense that 'Luna gets Trixie, story over'? The question you should be asking yourself is 'how are they going to get Trixie back in the face of Luna not thinking that is a good idea?' We've also not established Nightmare Moon. I don't like making villains who are just baddies to be bad. Luna's dead serious that Trixie is screwing up many things including Celestia's relationship with her all-too-mortal student. By definition that means there's not a lot of time to fix the situation. And how do you try to be nice to everybody involved? Well... depends on who you ask.
Impressive, that Pinkie flat out refused to go (because she knows better), but more intriguing still is the fact that Flutters sided with her over the others. Impressive again. I get the feeling that AJ's reluctant to go for this, and so is Dash, even if they have different reasons. Twi's understandable in needing to find Trixie, but she's going about it all the wrong way.
With Dash and Rarity... Dash is coming back to her senses, a little. Enough to mess with Rarity, anyway
And no segment on Trixie and Luna, save that line of the bit being 'in use'... my oh my... the only question is, who's wielding it?
Pinkie's reaction was..strong. She's right, of course, no Nightmare Sun here, but it still seems a bit surprising she would walk off like that when its clear SOMETHING happened.
Loved pinkies anger. And once more we're heading to a situation where everything is gonna be complicated by the fact that celestia was not informed of what the fuck was going on.
Another thing. I understand Aj breaking up because Dash fucked Mac, but wasn't dash fucking around with other ponies at the same time, didn't AJ know that?
957120 Applejack has never wanted to think about Dash being unfaithful. She more or less came to an accomodation with her given that both of them were sort of sharing themselves erotically with others, with Dash firmly explaining that AJ was #1 and first and if ABSOLUTELY necessary, only- this was back in Trixie's Magic Bit, and the first pony they mutually added to 'the list' was Pinkie, and then Dash noticed AJ was sweet on Twilight... little did she know what a can of WTF would be opened with that one.
AJ ended up with a sense of what kind of chaos could be unleashed when her dalliance ended up nearly getting Dash killed, and Dash never knew about that side of it at all. What broke Applejack was the fact that Big Macintosh's her brother- she's got unspoken rules that she didn't think she'd ever have to mention, some of which she wasn't even conscious of herself. I figure Dash broke two. One, no dragging AJ's immediate family into it- and two, keep it to mares pretending to be stallions! I more than suspect it broke her brain, having Dash suddenly with an actual male. AJ is far from sure she's really capable of being stalliony like her mother demanded, and it sort of invalidated that whole side of her after a lifetime of trying to build it up. No wonder she turned around and tried to reject it even worse.
Strangely, now Rainbow Dash is the most experienced and diverse heterosexual of all the mane six, because she's had a male Diamond Dog as well as Ponyville's most alluring stallion...
966913 Pinkie has always had some weird sensitivity picking up on various things but I still find it mildly surprising that it wasn't Rarity or Fluttershy giving her the benefit of a doubt instead. Maybe my headcannon's just a bit screwed
To the land of the dragons!! oh man, this is going to be a long trip: Even with longer legs than Spike; Twiligh, Dash, Rarity and AJ are in for a painful journey, full of emotional and sexual tension, aren´t they? Can´t wait for it. Also, Pinkie, Fluttershy and Big Mac are alone in Ponyville... dayum
*epic Noooo* I found this (and Trixie's Bit) once they had both been finished or well into the story. This is the first time I have caught up with the narrative, as it were. I love it, I adore it, I need more, now! Oh mare, why isn't there more? Thank you again, for writing this. The painful parts are suitably painful, and the rest is so wonderful, it hurts. I'm in a loving place right now, so all of the lovey-feely bits are resonating so hard, and with the new explorations my wife and I are beginning to play around with, the more ... intense parts are making me so... *gah* Words fail, but it's a good, good thing, I am enjoying this so much. Please have more coming soon, please? Pleeeeease!
This will be an interesting quest. And probably the first clopfic I've read with an adventure in it. And right be fore the ending the Skyrim theme started playing in my head.
Come Companions, we have a quest! [charges off with a company of werewolf-people]
Oh my, this should be a very interesting quest. I really hope that these signs of sickness are actually the Feather-Flu, and not Dashie being pregnant. I mean hell, having a Diamond Dog...it would be a Puppony? Whatever, I don't think that would work out. Well, I'll have to finish this story up tomorrow. I told you that you'd have to write fast in order to keep up with my reading, because I'm going to read the next one this weekend, and the one after that by next Thursday.
It's amazing how you talked about Nightmare Sun way before it actually happened in the show even if it didn't actually happen in the story. And it seems like instead of dealing with Nightmare Sun, they might be dealing with Nightmare Moon.
First: I saw I had a new favorite to read, and I was like "I don't really feel like reading anything. . . unless it's Rarity's Worst Day Ever." And it was!
Second: I really want to see this Dash being pregnant thing play out. I have my theories, but I won't mention them because I'd look dumb if I was wrong and I'd spoil it for other people if I was right. I know we'll get there eventually, but I really can't wait.
So, to sum up, you're writing a seriously addictive story here. Keep it up!
Ah yes, I cannot wait to see just how much success Luna will have in 'handling' the Elements. I dare say she's going to be surprised...
And now we get to the moment of truth. If this plays out the way you're implying I might have to be done after the next chapter......
I've never been good with the whole emotional train-wreck thing, irl or in stories, mostly because every single bit of it can be solved in like 5 minutes if people/ponies would just stop and actually talk to each other. It grates on my patience so I get bored and just kind of walk away. But you're a talented writer. Even with my natural aversion to this kind of story you've managed to keep me around. But a large part of that was the relationship you set up between Twilight and Trixie. If that one ends up in the wood chipper along with all the other ones......
I have a feeling we're about to see some hardcore bondage sex with Princess Luna, under normal circumstances this would be a "Hell yes!" moment but considering the way this story is going...it seems more like we're about to see some rape
What if... Nightmare Moon was... the effective Goddess (or avatar) Of Erotic Torture? A Cenobite as if from the movie Hellraiser - an entity with a different notion of pleasure, of what is 'good'? I wonder if that then is the source of the power of the bits, and also of a relationship to the Lulamoons.
I cannot help but ponder the possibility that, perhaps, long, long ago, the two princesses were literally princesses of Light and Dark, Positive and Negative as much as Sun and Moon, and that each represented those traits in every aspect, including sexual proclivities? Perhaps each had created their own versions of the pony species, and the Lulamoons represent the bloodline of the ancient Dark, which could explain Trixie being a sort of throwback to that earlier, more savage time.
I cannot help but imagine we may be getting some intriguing worldbuilding one way or another by the end of this carnival ride.
My loathing and despair at Rainbow Dash almost melted away with this chapter - because here is such evidence of where the greatest love truly lies. Rarity may love, in her own way, and decidedly wants to possess Applejack, but when feather is weighed against soul, Rainbow Dash genuinely wants Applejack to be happy, even at the cost of her own happiness, even at the cost of her own life, I suspect. Dash doesn't want to possess, as Rarity does. Dash, for all of her considerable faults... loves most truly, it seems.
That one thing, that one vast, magnificent, all-important thing so redeems Dash in my eyes. I have been alternately pitying and loathing her in this story, but now... now I have seen a gem hidden in that ball of feces, and while the package stinks, there is treasure there in the soil of her shame.
Heh... yeah, Ok, sorry. But still, the point stands.
954303
The word you're looking for is 'seduction'...
954474
Yes she does. I'm not sure there is another pony in the story who will have grown so much- though there is one other who has to cover a lot of ground...
Gosh. I like this 'forcing folks to see the true heart of characters that are dear to me' but dang! Ball of what? I guess her crazier behaviors don't sit well with you. That treasure is right there even as she's saying "Hard partying. Crazy sex. It was awesome. You don't like it? Get in line." defiantly.
954197
I never said I was going to break up Twi and Trixie. Does it seem to make sense that 'Luna gets Trixie, story over'? The question you should be asking yourself is 'how are they going to get Trixie back in the face of Luna not thinking that is a good idea?' We've also not established Nightmare Moon. I don't like making villains who are just baddies to be bad. Luna's dead serious that Trixie is screwing up many things including Celestia's relationship with her all-too-mortal student. By definition that means there's not a lot of time to fix the situation. And how do you try to be nice to everybody involved? Well... depends on who you ask.
Impressive, that Pinkie flat out refused to go (because she knows better), but more intriguing still is the fact that Flutters sided with her over the others. Impressive again. I get the feeling that AJ's reluctant to go for this, and so is Dash, even if they have different reasons. Twi's understandable in needing to find Trixie, but she's going about it all the wrong way.
With Dash and Rarity... Dash is coming back to her senses, a little. Enough to mess with Rarity, anyway
And no segment on Trixie and Luna, save that line of the bit being 'in use'... my oh my... the only question is, who's wielding it?
Daymare Sun... Shudder at the thought at that vile should ever appear. For if it would, all of Equestria would burn under the power of the Insane Sun!
Damn. You should consider writing an actual book. You make such intricate stories, I would love to read a couple hundred pages.
Pinkie's reaction was..strong. She's right, of course, no Nightmare Sun here, but it still seems a bit surprising she would walk off like that when its clear SOMETHING happened.
Oh dear oh dear oh dear...In use? Say it ain't so! Love the story, not just the clop, and I totally agree with Rodavure's comment.
Loved pinkies anger.
And once more we're heading to a situation where everything is gonna be complicated by the fact that celestia was not informed of what the fuck was going on.
Another thing. I understand Aj breaking up because Dash fucked Mac, but wasn't dash fucking around with other ponies at the same time, didn't AJ know that?
957120
Applejack has never wanted to think about Dash being unfaithful. She more or less came to an accomodation with her given that both of them were sort of sharing themselves erotically with others, with Dash firmly explaining that AJ was #1 and first and if ABSOLUTELY necessary, only- this was back in Trixie's Magic Bit, and the first pony they mutually added to 'the list' was Pinkie, and then Dash noticed AJ was sweet on Twilight... little did she know what a can of WTF would be opened with that one.
AJ ended up with a sense of what kind of chaos could be unleashed when her dalliance ended up nearly getting Dash killed, and Dash never knew about that side of it at all. What broke Applejack was the fact that Big Macintosh's her brother- she's got unspoken rules that she didn't think she'd ever have to mention, some of which she wasn't even conscious of herself. I figure Dash broke two. One, no dragging AJ's immediate family into it- and two, keep it to mares pretending to be stallions! I more than suspect it broke her brain, having Dash suddenly with an actual male. AJ is far from sure she's really capable of being stalliony like her mother demanded, and it sort of invalidated that whole side of her after a lifetime of trying to build it up. No wonder she turned around and tried to reject it even worse.
Strangely, now Rainbow Dash is the most experienced and diverse heterosexual of all the mane six, because she's had a male Diamond Dog as well as Ponyville's most alluring stallion...
957167
That dog was the coolest.
957167
That diamond dog part was pretty awesome, I'd love to see more of that.
966913
Pinkie has always had some weird sensitivity picking up on various things but I still find it mildly surprising that it wasn't Rarity or Fluttershy giving her the benefit of a doubt instead. Maybe my headcannon's just a bit screwed
To the land of the dragons!! oh man, this is going to be a long trip: Even with longer legs than Spike; Twiligh, Dash, Rarity and AJ are in for a painful journey, full of emotional and sexual tension, aren´t they?
Can´t wait for it.
Also, Pinkie, Fluttershy and Big Mac are alone in Ponyville... dayum
*epic Noooo* I found this (and Trixie's Bit) once they had both been finished or well into the story. This is the first time I have caught up with the narrative, as it were.
I love it, I adore it, I need more, now! Oh mare, why isn't there more?
Thank you again, for writing this. The painful parts are suitably painful, and the rest is so wonderful, it hurts. I'm in a loving place right now, so all of the lovey-feely bits are resonating so hard, and with the new explorations my wife and I are beginning to play around with, the more ... intense parts are making me so... *gah* Words fail, but it's a good, good thing, I am enjoying this so much. Please have more coming soon, please?
Pleeeeease!
This will be an interesting quest. And probably the first clopfic I've read with an adventure in it. And right be fore the ending the Skyrim theme started playing in my head.
Come Companions, we have a quest! [charges off with a company of werewolf-people]
Oh my, this should be a very interesting quest. I really hope that these signs of sickness are actually the Feather-Flu, and not Dashie being pregnant. I mean hell, having a Diamond Dog...it would be a Puppony? Whatever, I don't think that would work out. Well, I'll have to finish this story up tomorrow. I told you that you'd have to write fast in order to keep up with my reading, because I'm going to read the next one this weekend, and the one after that by next Thursday.
It's amazing how you talked about Nightmare Sun way before it actually happened in the show even if it didn't actually happen in the story. And it seems like instead of dealing with Nightmare Sun, they might be dealing with Nightmare Moon.