I must admit that I was a bit doubtful when I saw that you intended to continue this story, but so far you have not disappointed. It seems like you have yourself a really nice setup so far and I can only say that I am looking forward to the next chapters. One question by the way. Do you feel as confident writing for Rarity as you do for Rainbow Dash and Applejack, or do you feel like you know those two better? It seems like the style you use for the different cast is distinct in its own way and that Rarity differs in style from what you have done so far?
If you look closely you'll see that writin' for is also distinct and has attitudes and words all its own... It's gonna get REALLY interesting later, let me just say, but we're not there yet. Suffice to say that once again, Trixie is the key to literary 'VTEC kicking in' and all hell truly breaking loose. Do you think Celestia will like her?
And so, Dash sets out on a journey of epic bad behaviour. There are going to be legends about this binge of hers. Extra points if she somehow ends up banging the old flight school bullies somewhere around rock bottom.
I'm almost sad Celestia is turning up tomorrow in the story, as opposed to later on. While her turning up early undoubtedly allows for more involvement in the story, I can only imagine the epic 'WTF face' she would make while Twilight tried to explain how fucking weird everything had gotten.
Though, I suppose she has to explain Trixie to Celestia anyhow, so that will be awesome anyway. "So Trixie, when did you fall in love with my Twilight?" "Well, she was in the middle of brutally raping me with her magical cock while assuring me it didn't mean a thing to her..."
And conversations like that are why I love the Trixieverse.
EDIT: It occurs to me that Celestia being in Ponyville and Fluttershy having a bit that's useless to her given her ... condition is a confluence of events that could lead to great and powerful funny. Particularly if exploiting said confluence isn't Fluttershy's idea.
I'm tired of folks going 'She's just a bitch! heartless! bad pony! bad!' Time folks lived inside her head for a spell. It will be okay in the end, and you'll know her much better and rejoice with her when it's okay at last. Until then... And: she startled the hell out of me when she freaked out at Pinkie touching her wings. No touchie, huh? I was not entirely expecting that reaction, but that little pony is mad faithful in her own peculiar way. I had NO idea how distinctive her viewpoint was when I started writing her in 'Best Ride Ever', but she was already showing it...
Dude, it makes a sad sort of sense to me. She didn't break the rules - not in her mind at least. She has to keep not breaking them to keepthe moral high ground in this. That means NO touchie.
Seems Applejack and Rainbow are the perfect couple, but unfortunatly they both have alot to learn about eachother. I do feel realy sad for Rarity though. That's gotta be the worst way and worst reason for breaking up I've ever seen. And, call me a sicko, but I cant help but think Celestia might be a bit proud of her student if she finds out just what made Trixie fall in love with her, hehe. Oh, ofcorse, she'll have to keep up the proper teacher appearance and all, but I bet she'll still be proud
I'm not very sure this story would survive a CANON Celestia encounter if she where to find out her student turned rapist just to prove a point not to mention she damn near went homicidal on rainbow dash out of jealousy. I'm actually scared of this encounter. The fact that they are going to have to deal with a rampant dash struggling to keep her one rule, a distraught and angry applejack, a confused and hurt big mac, and a recently dumped, deviant rarity is going to raise enough hell as it is! Pinkie is already losing what little control she had on the situation and even Fluttershy might be in trouble before long if pinkie really did send her to take care of applejack. There is also this new "horniness leakage" problem coming from the bits which might further escalate things! You orchestrated an emotional 10g anti-matter bomb to go off in as little as a day!
I'm honestly just along for the ride now, I'm won't even try to speculate on what will happen any further..
522669 I'm actually really interested to see what Applejinx do with Celestia. While it's true that the story would survive if Celestia stayed 100% canon, you have to consider that this story and 'Trixie's magic bit' is more of a "what if ponies actually had sexual desires" scenario, than an story strictly that sticks with the show. That said I think you can see very clearly how Applejinx tries to stay as true to the original characters as he can provided the context he writes in. To be honest I'm continuously impressed by the way he keeps showing us new things about these ponies that seem obvious and completely right when you look back at the show, but which you would have never thought of yourself.
Well, what did I want to say with all that..? Oh yeah, I totally look forward to see how Applejinx chooses to portray Celestia, though I do agree with you Totalolness, that he has an very interesting task ahead of him, doing that.
In my own stories, the Celestia I write is kind, gentle, loving... but also a ruler. She rules. And with regard to Trixie... Twilight would be in for a hard time of it trying to convince Celestia that there was no longer any murderous threat from Trixie that required... another statue in the Royal Maze Garden. I am curious to see if this is anything like your vision of Celestia as well, because it would be powerfully dramatic.
I trust things will work out, as you have indicated, but I have to say... this breakup between Dash and Applejack just hurts. I am invested in your characters, invested in your world, and most of all invested in the hearts you have portrayed, and a part of me wants to yell and scream and kick up such a fuss at you for breaking their hearts, and by proxy, mine as a reader.
Of course, that's good writing, yes, yes, I grasp that. If you can get the reader to become apoplectic, you win the lottery. I always picture the report of Charles Dickens, sitting at his desk, chuckling and laughing like a madman, as he savagely delighted in the thought of how his readers would suffer.
Sigh. Well, you are a good writer, and I guess I have to own up to what I signed on for. Still, and I hope you will take this in kindness, love and the deepest respect, PUT DASH AND APPLEJACK BACK TOGETHER YOU LOATHSOME MONSTER! Breath, breath, Ok, it's going to be Ok... happy place, think of my happy place....
528085 Dickens? Naw. I'm cryin' with them too. That's why it's hard to get through chapters like these however, I won't give up on 'em and neither should you. I can't have them kiss and make up- do you know how stubborn and prideful both those ponies are? You will... but what I can do is show you that what they had wasn't an illusion, and they can find what comfort they can in their own ways. It would be worse if they just shrugged it off, I think...
...just goes to show you, you've correctly spotted the BIG emotional arc of the whole dang book. As for Princess Celestia... she is not a micromanager. She doesn't take matters into her own hooves readily. But she is also very, very wise- and has not always approved of Twilight's decisions. My Celestia is canon Celestia, just as the ponies are pretty much canon ponies 'behind the scenes' with some lively new weapons in their friendship arsenal. So there will be NO 'Celestia is Princess Molestia'. I won't need her for that, trust me on this. (for once, the emoticon identifier 'ajsmug' is SOOO appropriate...)
Well shit. Now you've snagged my interest in the prequel, what-with that little mini summary of how Twixie happened. Guess I'll add it to my Read Later list.
Also, that Pinkie scene was horribly appropriate! I was honestly expecting a futa scene, but this makes a LOT more sense, and is so completely and utterly Pinkie Pie that I can't imagine that scene going any other way. Ridiculous AND In-character cloppery? Your writing continues to intrigue, good sir.
Sorry I'm late. I'm here now. Fanboying over you is kind of becoming a thing of mine.
... Actually, I have something to say about your Trixieverse, as you call it. You mention Rainbow Dash having 'bodysex' with her Weather Patrol mates. Is that a pegasus thing? Seems like your setting has taken a bit of a swing from 'adult interpretation of strict canon' towards 'erotically charged setting.'
Not exactly a CONCERN, especially because you address it perhaps even more than it needs to be addressed.
Also, candyvags and their tendency to drip all over the place gets more amusing every time it comes up. If the females I've been with in real life were that way, it would be some kinda housekeeping issue.
529515 It's a Rainbow Dash thing- we haven't actually SEEN any other pegasi besides Dashie (who's a wild thing) and Fluttershy (who's cripplingly shy but still a voyeur and who's also not really part of pegasus culture). Rainbow Dash's attitudes toward bodysex are definitely representative of pegasus culture, but this doesn't mean they're all as forward as Dash is- her reaction of 'none of that Weather Patrol shift are any good at bodysex' could also mean they said no thanks. There's in-universe justification of them all getting rather charged up, what with magic bit 'leakage'- it's rather a metaphor for puberty, in that having brought the bits into their world, the ponies must now live with their newly awakened libidos in a ponylike and civilized fashion. I've tried like crazy to get another chapter done today, but I have just plain run out of time. I'll try to finish it and post it tomorrow. It is without question the wildest ride I've ever had to get down in words- though it's the chapter after that, which has the wild cloppy sex. Which is not to say 'strictly PONY sex'.
Took me a minute to realize what you meant by that last bit.
Oh my god I'm so excited for what I'm pretty sure that means. Dash going to an old ex for comfort? More sexual world-building? [insert one of several memes concerning a pony being overexcited]
Ok, I loved Trixie's Magic Bit, and now Im loving this story. Im really hoeing to see more of Twilight and Trixie too, somehow they make the cutest disfunctional couple, in a sexy way Im kinda wondering what Spike will do if he finds out about Rarity's 'hobbies'.
"...dragged backwards through a hedge of tongues."
I lost it. I tried not to laugh when all the sad was going on and be appropriately serious. I failed. Miserably.
Look 'Jinx, I can't say I'm invested in your pairings here. I guess I'm one of those who's never going to be able to see clear beyond one key pairing and it is not here for me. Well it was, ever so tantalisingly fleetingly. I'm off-track. I'm in this for your character writing, which is nicely done. All tastes like Applejinx to me but it's believable and holds up its own continuity and that makes it good in my books.
Point is, even if I'm not exactly feeling all the feels you want me to at the moment, given I'm not in my right mind (read: sleep deprived, stressed), you still deserve credit for that line and every other time this story and the previous one have made me laugh. I really like how you do relationships, how you have your own character based shorthand that we all easily understand and especially how easily you interlace the more mature themes and concepts with the light-hearted feel of the show. Even if we're off the deep end of that particular aspect right now. You're an admirable writer 'Jinx.
I must say I am shocked and slightly disappointed--mainly in RD. On the one hand, I know she didn't see helping BigMac out as cheating, but going out and getting Pinkie to sex her more and more, then flying away to get MORE?! Must be her equivilant of someone trying to drown their sorrow in alcohol, just to go to another bar when one turns them away. I hope she will be alright...
Poor Dashie, being all sad and forlorn. I swear, she could just go forever. Now why the hell would AJ break up with Dash? And nice job with coming up with another sort of conflict for this story. One of my favorite things about reading is seeing what kind of conflicts the author can come up with.
I must admit that I was a bit doubtful when I saw that you intended to continue this story, but so far you have not disappointed. It seems like you have yourself a really nice setup so far and I can only say that I am looking forward to the next chapters. One question by the way. Do you feel as confident writing for Rarity as you do for Rainbow Dash and Applejack, or do you feel like you know those two better? It seems like the style you use for the different cast is distinct in its own way and that Rarity differs in style from what you have done so far?
If you look closely you'll see that writin' for is also distinct and has attitudes and words all its own...
It's gonna get REALLY interesting later, let me just say, but we're not there yet. Suffice to say that once again, Trixie is the key to literary 'VTEC kicking in' and all hell truly breaking loose. Do you think Celestia will like her?
And so, Dash sets out on a journey of epic bad behaviour. There are going to be legends about this binge of hers. Extra points if she somehow ends up banging the old flight school bullies somewhere around rock bottom.
I'm almost sad Celestia is turning up tomorrow in the story, as opposed to later on. While her turning up early undoubtedly allows for more involvement in the story, I can only imagine the epic 'WTF face' she would make while Twilight tried to explain how fucking weird everything had gotten.
Though, I suppose she has to explain Trixie to Celestia anyhow, so that will be awesome anyway. "So Trixie, when did you fall in love with my Twilight?" "Well, she was in the middle of brutally raping me with her magical cock while assuring me it didn't mean a thing to her..."
And conversations like that are why I love the Trixieverse.
EDIT: It occurs to me that Celestia being in Ponyville and Fluttershy having a bit that's useless to her given her ... condition is a confluence of events that could lead to great and powerful funny. Particularly if exploiting said confluence isn't Fluttershy's idea.
*Checks tags*
Darn it; this isn't supposed to be a sadfic. And yet it is sad, so very, very sad to see Dashie like that.
I'm tired of folks going 'She's just a bitch! heartless! bad pony! bad!'
Time folks lived inside her head for a spell. It will be okay in the end, and you'll know her much better and rejoice with her when it's okay at last.
Until then...
And: she startled the hell out of me when she freaked out at Pinkie touching her wings. No touchie, huh? I was not entirely expecting that reaction, but that little pony is mad faithful in her own peculiar way. I had NO idea how distinctive her viewpoint was when I started writing her in 'Best Ride Ever', but she was already showing it...
Dude, it makes a sad sort of sense to me. She didn't break the rules - not in her mind at least. She has to keep not breaking them to keepthe moral high ground in this. That means NO touchie.
Seems Applejack and Rainbow are the perfect couple, but unfortunatly they both have alot to learn about eachother.
I do feel realy sad for Rarity though. That's gotta be the worst way and worst reason for breaking up I've ever seen.
And, call me a sicko, but I cant help but think Celestia might be a bit proud of her student if she finds out just what made Trixie fall in love with her, hehe.
Oh, ofcorse, she'll have to keep up the proper teacher appearance and all, but I bet she'll still be proud
Oh Dashie.... You make me so sad with your life decisions.
img.ponibooru.org/images/35/355081f2e71d5d23dd69306ddfed6d6e
Probably because mine suck too,. Ouch, that's a bitch-slap of reality.
I'm not very sure this story would survive a CANON Celestia encounter if she where to find out her student turned rapist just to prove a point not to mention she damn near went homicidal on rainbow dash out of jealousy. I'm actually scared of this encounter. The fact that they are going to have to deal with a rampant dash struggling to keep her one rule, a distraught and angry applejack, a confused and hurt big mac, and a recently dumped, deviant rarity is going to raise enough hell as it is! Pinkie is already losing what little control she had on the situation and even Fluttershy might be in trouble before long if pinkie really did send her to take care of applejack. There is also this new "horniness leakage" problem coming from the bits which might further escalate things! You orchestrated an emotional 10g anti-matter bomb to go off in as little as a day!
I'm honestly just along for the ride now, I'm won't even try to speculate on what will happen any further..
522669
I'm actually really interested to see what Applejinx do with Celestia. While it's true that the story would survive if Celestia stayed 100% canon, you have to consider that this story and 'Trixie's magic bit' is more of a "what if ponies actually had sexual desires" scenario, than an story strictly that sticks with the show. That said I think you can see very clearly how Applejinx tries to stay as true to the original characters as he can provided the context he writes in. To be honest I'm continuously impressed by the way he keeps showing us new things about these ponies that seem obvious and completely right when you look back at the show, but which you would have never thought of yourself.
Well, what did I want to say with all that..? Oh yeah, I totally look forward to see how Applejinx chooses to portray Celestia, though I do agree with you Totalolness, that he has an very interesting task ahead of him, doing that.
In my own stories, the Celestia I write is kind, gentle, loving... but also a ruler. She rules. And with regard to Trixie... Twilight would be in for a hard time of it trying to convince Celestia that there was no longer any murderous threat from Trixie that required... another statue in the Royal Maze Garden. I am curious to see if this is anything like your vision of Celestia as well, because it would be powerfully dramatic.
I trust things will work out, as you have indicated, but I have to say... this breakup between Dash and Applejack just hurts. I am invested in your characters, invested in your world, and most of all invested in the hearts you have portrayed, and a part of me wants to yell and scream and kick up such a fuss at you for breaking their hearts, and by proxy, mine as a reader.
Of course, that's good writing, yes, yes, I grasp that. If you can get the reader to become apoplectic, you win the lottery. I always picture the report of Charles Dickens, sitting at his desk, chuckling and laughing like a madman, as he savagely delighted in the thought of how his readers would suffer.
Sigh. Well, you are a good writer, and I guess I have to own up to what I signed on for. Still, and I hope you will take this in kindness, love and the deepest respect, PUT DASH AND APPLEJACK BACK TOGETHER YOU LOATHSOME MONSTER! Breath, breath, Ok, it's going to be Ok... happy place, think of my happy place....
528085
Dickens? Naw. I'm cryin' with them too. That's why it's hard to get through chapters like these however, I won't give up on 'em and neither should you. I can't have them kiss and make up- do you know how stubborn and prideful both those ponies are? You will... but what I can do is show you that what they had wasn't an illusion, and they can find what comfort they can in their own ways. It would be worse if they just shrugged it off, I think...
...just goes to show you, you've correctly spotted the BIG emotional arc of the whole dang book.
As for Princess Celestia... she is not a micromanager. She doesn't take matters into her own hooves readily. But she is also very, very wise- and has not always approved of Twilight's decisions. My Celestia is canon Celestia, just as the ponies are pretty much canon ponies 'behind the scenes' with some lively new weapons in their friendship arsenal. So there will be NO 'Celestia is Princess Molestia'.
I won't need her for that, trust me on this.
(for once, the emoticon identifier 'ajsmug' is SOOO appropriate...)
Well shit. Now you've snagged my interest in the prequel, what-with that little mini summary of how Twixie happened. Guess I'll add it to my Read Later list.
Also, that Pinkie scene was horribly appropriate! I was honestly expecting a futa scene, but this makes a LOT more sense, and is so completely and utterly Pinkie Pie that I can't imagine that scene going any other way. Ridiculous AND In-character cloppery? Your writing continues to intrigue, good sir.
Oh look this is a thing.
Sorry I'm late. I'm here now. Fanboying over you is kind of becoming a thing of mine.
... Actually, I have something to say about your Trixieverse, as you call it. You mention Rainbow Dash having 'bodysex' with her Weather Patrol mates. Is that a pegasus thing? Seems like your setting has taken a bit of a swing from 'adult interpretation of strict canon' towards 'erotically charged setting.'
Not exactly a CONCERN, especially because you address it perhaps even more than it needs to be addressed.
Also, candyvags and their tendency to drip all over the place gets more amusing every time it comes up. If the females I've been with in real life were that way, it would be some kinda housekeeping issue.
529515
It's a Rainbow Dash thing- we haven't actually SEEN any other pegasi besides Dashie (who's a wild thing) and Fluttershy (who's cripplingly shy but still a voyeur and who's also not really part of pegasus culture).
Rainbow Dash's attitudes toward bodysex are definitely representative of pegasus culture, but this doesn't mean they're all as forward as Dash is- her reaction of 'none of that Weather Patrol shift are any good at bodysex' could also mean they said no thanks.
There's in-universe justification of them all getting rather charged up, what with magic bit 'leakage'- it's rather a metaphor for puberty, in that having brought the bits into their world, the ponies must now live with their newly awakened libidos in a ponylike and civilized fashion.
I've tried like crazy to get another chapter done today, but I have just plain run out of time. I'll try to finish it and post it tomorrow. It is without question the wildest ride I've ever had to get down in words- though it's the chapter after that, which has the wild cloppy sex.
Which is not to say 'strictly PONY sex'.
529827
Took me a minute to realize what you meant by that last bit.
Oh my god I'm so excited for what I'm pretty sure that means. Dash going to an old ex for comfort? More sexual world-building? [insert one of several memes concerning a pony being overexcited]
Ok, I loved Trixie's Magic Bit, and now Im loving this story.
Im really hoeing to see more of Twilight and Trixie too, somehow they make the cutest disfunctional couple, in a sexy way
Im kinda wondering what Spike will do if he finds out about Rarity's 'hobbies'.
"...dragged backwards through a hedge of tongues."
I lost it. I tried not to laugh when all the sad was going on and be appropriately serious. I failed. Miserably.
Look 'Jinx, I can't say I'm invested in your pairings here. I guess I'm one of those who's never going to be able to see clear beyond one key pairing and it is not here for me. Well it was, ever so tantalisingly fleetingly. I'm off-track. I'm in this for your character writing, which is nicely done. All tastes like Applejinx to me but it's believable and holds up its own continuity and that makes it good in my books.
Point is, even if I'm not exactly feeling all the feels you want me to at the moment, given I'm not in my right mind (read: sleep deprived, stressed), you still deserve credit for that line and every other time this story and the previous one have made me laugh. I really like how you do relationships, how you have your own character based shorthand that we all easily understand and especially how easily you interlace the more mature themes and concepts with the light-hearted feel of the show. Even if we're off the deep end of that particular aspect right now. You're an admirable writer 'Jinx.
Just thought you should know.
I must say I am shocked and slightly disappointed--mainly in RD. On the one hand, I know she didn't see helping BigMac out as cheating, but going out and getting Pinkie to sex her more and more, then flying away to get MORE?! Must be her equivilant of someone trying to drown their sorrow in alcohol, just to go to another bar when one turns them away. I hope she will be alright...
Poor Dashie, being all sad and forlorn. I swear, she could just go forever. Now why the hell would AJ break up with Dash? And nice job with coming up with another sort of conflict for this story. One of my favorite things about reading is seeing what kind of conflicts the author can come up with.