A Fateful Visitation
The past twelve hours had been a blur of hastily given and taken orders, brave faces and generally trying to avoid giving into panic on the day the old prophecies came true. He was mentally exhausted and disoriented, but the sad song echoing through the hallways of Canterlot Castle spurred him onward. These were days history would be made and Guard members like himself could prove their true value beyond a shadow of a doubt.
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There was an image that would not leave his head, searing his conscience and moving him to pity. Mere hours ago, he had been part of an honor guard for the return of Princess Luna to residence in Canterlot Castle. A thousand years of legend had proven horrible truth, but also that the Elements of Harmony wielded by Princess Celestia's personal student Twilight Sparkle and five others had defeated "Nightmare Moon" and restored Princess Luna.
All that was abstract, and to some extent rumored, knowledge. What was searing his heart was the image of Princess Luna walking beside her sister between the honor guard. She seemed so weak and fragile compared to what she was supposed to have been, and when his eyes briefly met hers he felt the shock of a thousand years of guilt, shame, and agony in them. His heart invisibly broke, and he was moved right then and there to defy the spirit of aloof hesitation that was expected of the Canterlot Royal Guard. With his shift over, now was his chance.
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The low, mournful tunes echoed through distressingly empty hallways. Even though the sun had already set on the unexpectedly abbreviated day, there were no guards posted patrolling the area in the castle where Luna was temporarily staying until a proper wing could be cleared for her. The guard knew the halls well - this was an area he frequently was assigned to patrol. Still, the fact that he seemed to be alone in this concerned him - was it from hesitation to tread so near the one once called "Nightmare Moon"? Or was it out of fact that patrol schedules and assignments had been jumbled and nopony wished to act without orders? He pushed the thoughts out of his head and stepped onward.
After some minutes he arrived at Princess Luna's temporary bedroom suite, listening from the open door at her mournful and sad singing framed from light of the full moon she had recently been freed from. He waited until she had finished a song before acting...
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The last notes, heavy with sadness, had just faded into echoes when Luna heard the young and confident voice of the guard behind her: "You sing so beautifully, Your Highness. It 'tis a shame thou only uses it to sing laments."
Startled by the voice, she weakly turns to look behind from where she lay, facing outward to look at the night sky: "Who goes there?"
"I am but a guard, thou art a Princess of Canterlot. What more does thou needest to know about me?" the guard's voice came in answer as he slowly entered the chamber, beginning to strike up a conversation with the surprised Luna.
"... Has thou been assigned to our personal chambers?"
"Sadly, the Captain hath not given such assignments. I have come here of my own volition, after the end of my own regular duties."
"... Does thine commanding officer know of what you are doing?"
"He doth not. Even if he did, however, there is no excuse that thou has not been given assignments proper to thine position. Is thou not entitled to the same treatment as thine sister?"
"Thou makest an excellent point, as we hath not seen or heard a guard patrolling past the door in hours. Please, feel free to lay beside us and watch the night, brave guard."
"I thank thee very much, Your Highness."
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The guard kept his helmet and armor on as he lay beside Luna, watching the night sky with the full moon, now shining undimmed by the profile of the monster that had been contained in it. Princess Luna could not identify the particular guard with her because of this, but her curiosity was quickly directed toward how much of the night sky he seemed to know - pointing out and telling story after story about the stars arranged in the sky.
"Guard, how doth you come of such knowledge of the night sky?" Princess Luna finally asked.
"Mine family would regularly observe the night sky as a tradition." the guard begins to explain. "My father grew up with an intense passion to learn about the moon and the stars, sometimes spending hours documenting the positions of stars and the movements of the skies. My mother is one of a line of unicorns that assisted Princess Celestia in populating the night sky with stars. They met at a library, both of them researching the constellations. The shared interest brought them together and eventually lead to them joining in marriage. My mother gave up her job when I was born, but she and my father passed the tradition to me and my younger sister."
When he stopped, he noticed a weak smile and a few joyful tears trickling down Luna's cheeks. "That is a most wonderful story, and thou art a most noble and kindhearted soul to share it with us. May you live to see the third generation after you!" she says, clearly moved by the guard's story.
The guard gives a sincere, broad smile in return, but does nothing else. He is then invited to lay beside the royal bed and guard Luna in her sleep - it would be several days at least before she would be able to resume her duties, as her powers had been weakened to a large degree by "Nightmare Moon's" defeat - and he accepts. He sleeps off and on beside the royal bed the rest of the night, providing a comforting presence to Princess Luna at a moment when she needed one the most.
When Celestia brings up the sun again over Canterlot, the guard is gone, but in the place where he was sleeping is a parchment. Luna looks at what is on the parchment and is overwhelmed with joy - she is convinced that it is a sign someone is watching out for and wanting to help her.
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"Indeed, I do think this is a sign, dear sister. But perhaps not in the way you think it is." Celestia says with a smile after seeing the parchment herself a short while later.
"How do you mean, sister?" Luna asks curiously.
"The parchment contains two symbols on it. One is obviously meant to be you, it matches your cutie mark. The other one shows the Element of Magic - Twilight Sparkle's cutie mark - on a shield with three stars above it. That is not mere symbolism, it matches the cutie mark of a member of the Guard force."
"Who then would it be? The one that guarded my chamber last night?"
"Yes. And I know his name. He tries to be judged on his actions alone, so that's why he wouldn't say who he was or take off the armor to show you his face."
"Well then who is he so that he may be acclaimed before an assembly of his peers?"
Before Celestia replies, she breaks out in the smile of someone who is pleasantly and wonderfully surprised: "I have known him for a long time now, and he has never failed to live up to the ideals of service in the Canterlot Royal Guard. He's a Lieutenant, serves the afternoon shift. The same strong, noble blood that runs through Twilight Sparkle runs through him as well. As it should, considering they are actually blood siblings. His name... is Shining Armor."
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This was good i'm surprised there are no comments but a heart warming story.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!
So Gooooooooooood!!!
Lovely story! Should have known it was him when they spoke of his parents.
Sadly, we can only give you one upvote.
4800846
)
Exactly. (I mean come on, the mom has three stars and the dad has a moon and a star for cutie marks! Of course their talents would have something to do with the night sky...
4801045
You could always give a fave.
What a jolly of a day, my sir! This story here have been featured!
Why'd it have to be Shining?! DARMIT ORL! Still this is a nice story, makes meh happy and all warm inside my cold dead heart.
Just think if he wasn't dating Cadence it sounds like he could have swept Luna off her hooves.
You can take this far you know.
You can bend the universe within and continue a quite unique backstory. Perhaps you can go so far as to make Luna and Shining a couple?
Wouldn't that make for a good Canterlot Wedding
Count me in on those that would call this a good beginning to a Shining/Luna AU.
4802511
Well, part of the point is that he's improved a lot in the romance department since his high school years. (And just in case you doubt, we have these panels from the comics as evidence.)
Aww, I was about to hardcore ship the guard and Luna, but then Shining.
CURSE YOU DI CAPRIO AND YOUR SINKING SHIPS!
Gotta say, I like that he speaks in a more archaic tongue to make Luna feel more at ease. A nice little detail that only makes an already good story better.
4804763
), but the point isn't for him to be a show-off. Even from what little canon evidence we have in "Luna Eclipsed", it's obvious Luna wouldn't start out understanding a lot of the language of the modern day (any more than someone taken from Elizabethan times would understand our language) - a big problem. Most of the guards wouldn't know it either, of course, but that begs the question "Do you care enough to take the time to learn how to speak that way, or use that way of speaking if you already know it?"
I'm glad you picked up on that. It might seem odd that he's speaking like a character from a Shakespeare play (particularly considering his accent
Speaking in that archaic, thousand-year old manner is a way of showing "I care" - and a pretty powerful one at that!
I saw the link to the cover art, and I was like, "Are you serious? Another shipping with Shining? He doesn't deserve the mares."
4804870 Considering that "in canon" he played freaking D&D (Obliques and obluettes? forgot. <_<) and they spoke with that old Canterlotian speech, so that was a plus. Talk about coincidence.
good story
damnit i like this and who it was. who it was being the reason im damniting. vey good show.
Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it supposed to be "What more dost thou need to know about me?"
You know, I always love these kind of one-shots. Even though I'm too surprised who the 'One Good Stallion' was, the way he acted in front of Luna was very touching indeed.
+ Upvote
+ Fave
4808082
Remember that he's not speaking "natively". Little mistakes like that are to be expected.
4808770 Well, if that was intentional, then I have nothing against it.
4803558 That is an awesome idea yeah the author should go for it!
Lovely!
Aw, this was a great story. Now we know why Shining was promoted to captain of the royal gaurd.
All my yes!
I thought it was Shining Armor and was pleased to be right. You rock Shiny!
...wow. This is one of the best <2000 word stories I think I have ever read. And I'm so glad that you wrote a good Shining Armor! Very heartwarming, and as already stated, I love that he spoke in the old archaic Equestrian fashion as a subtle way of saying he cared! VERY well done!
His mother married Princess Celestia?!
j/k. Nice story :)
4814083 OH LAWD
..That's what I thought at first too, and was all like "LESBIAN! THEY'RE LESBIANS!!"
4813103 Well I guess u don;t have to read it tro find out now
4816112
Was half asleep when I commented.
My apologies, I put spoiler tags in my comment.
4816141 Oh they didn't show up when I saw them
How do u put spoiler tags?
4816277 [ /spoiler]
No space between the [ and /
Ah, trying to do Early Modern English, but not understanding it. Not to worry, author, I made the same mistake too on my first fic and still cringe about it to this day.
Just to point out some mistakes:
Should read: "What more dost thou need" Remember that only the auxiliary is conjugated and the main verb is left in its bare form.
Should read "Hast thou"
Should be "thy commanding officer." Thine comes only before words that start with vowel sounds (e.g. "thine eyes").
Should be just "'tis a shame." 'Tis is an elision of "It is."
Should read "as we have not seen." The -th and -eth endings only appear in third-person singular. So this too:
Is an inappropriate use of doth.
Here's a handy chart how verbs conjugate in the indicative mood. Remember that these strange verb endings apply only in the indicative mood, so when using the subjunctive, you use just the bare form. And also, the subjunctive was used in certain contexts back then that you wouldn't use now. (E.g. "If he be Mr. Hyde, I shall be Mr. Seek." (not "if he is"); and Shakespeare says: "How long will a man lie i' the earth ere he rot?" (not "rots")
Moral of the story: Modern English is better and more comprehensible. Only use Early Modern if you're absolutely sure you know what you're doing. But, hey, learning experience, right?
...Full cover image contains spoilers
4816418
I appreciate the chart link (and I will reference it in future stories), but the mistakes you point out are actually occurring in-universe. Here's why:
* One of the speakers isn't a "native" speaker of that version of English, so mistakes are to be expected for his case because his grasp of that version of the language is imperfect.
* The other speaker (Luna) is so confused and disoriented (from the Elements of Harmony-induced power drain, her own guilt and shame, culture shock and having the "modern" language thrown at her without enough time to adjust to it) that, even though she's a native speaker, she can't keep everything straight either.
(And lest you call BS on the second point, "Luna Eclipsed" has Luna herself saying an incorrect line: "Child. Art thou saying that thou... likest me to scare you?"
As was pointed out on this page (under the "Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe" entry). the statement is grammatically incorrect in the context given regardless of how it's supposed to be interpreted and the "mistake" is probably a result of her surprise/puzzlement at the time. In the context of this story, she's completely disoriented and probably can't keep anything straight, much less her grammar.)
I need more insight into Shining here. I can understand from a reader POV why he chose to speak in Ye Olde Ways but since we've been in his mind a bit, having some more 'substance' to that decision might be a positive.
The character tags lack ... did nothing. As soon as I read the essential question, I knew it was Shindig Armoire. Also, I was expecting some 'Luna infatuation' being the cause of the sad tag. Since it seems I was mistaken, I'm not sure why the sad tag is there. This is more happy than sad.
Overall nice enough. A bit obvious and I'd love to have more internal debate from he-who-shall-not-be-named but it's nice enough.
4819306
The problem with adding more "substance" to the decision making (i.e. internal conflict) is that you detract from the rest of the story in the process. As our heroic stallion would be almost entirely talking to himself and there's nothing to keep the "flow" of the story going, you kill any momentum you've picked up as a result - as soon as monologuing starts, the reader would roll their eyes and either click away or skip past it looking for "the good stuff".
Monologuing similar to that in Hamlet doesn't work nearly as well in the context of a fanfiction story (or a 25 minute TV episode for that matter) unless the story is set up to accommodate one. In the case of this story, it's better to just keep the momentum going rather than stop to explain things.
There's no tag that seems to describe this type of story well enough. "Comedy" doesn't work, it's not "Romance", it's not really "Slice of Life" either, so how do you tag something like this?
There's no "WAFF" tag (or something similar), so "Sad" was the closest I could get.
4816667
Ah, I understand! Though in the story, there wasn't any indication that that was the case, so I just read them as mistakes. Next time, you should draw attention to this, explain the linguistic differences in some way; otherwise people will, like me, just assume it's bad English.
That's not necessarily bad. She could have meant "Art thou saying that thou likest me to scare [you children, plural]?" It isn't grammatically wrong. Would it not be okay to say, for example, "Is he saying that he likes me to scare them?"
Though I did find one place where Luna indeed fucked up. She says "It was thou who unleashed the powers of harmony upon us and took away our dark powers!" (Should be "who unleashedest . . . and tookest away our dark powers)
Not even the princess of the night is perfect, I guess.
*WolfGrin* I liked this. maybe you should continue it and show him helping her adjust and see where it goes from there
4825334
That's essentially my general tactic for my writing here on this site. One of those stories has already been put up on here (A New Mission).
4825343
I think I found it. if U post another one please let me know
Uhhhh...
Sequel anyone?
hmmmmm
4827019 This story is part of a "season" of stories (roughly paralleling the show's Season 1). Because it's meant to mimic the show's structure, it didn't seem right to label each story as a sequel to the previous one, but I might still do that in order for readers to follow along with the story series as it's meant to be read.
4829223
Now that is something I will look forward too more of.
I would have never thought that he speak in the olde tongue. I was completely surprised that it was him. I'm not going to say anymore about him because I do not want to put spoilers in the comments (even though people should know that comments usually contain spoilers). Have a fav and a like.
4820731
The inflection of the sentence isn't quite correct for that. If you want unleashest there you need to change was thou as well.
"It was thee" (technically "wast thee," but even then it wasn't commonly used) "who unleashest the force of Harmony upon Us and tookest away Our dark powers."
Thy skill at Olde Englishe doth lack a measure of intelligence. Mayhap thou shouldst dispense with thy bullshit-eth?