• Member Since 31st Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Yesterday

D4ftP0ny


Just an MLP supporter with loads of ideas trying to improve my writing through fan fiction!

T
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~~~The other day I was thinking about why we haven't seen Trixie since "Boast Busters" and Luna since "Luna Eclipsed", and this is what happened.~~~

Long ago, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal Princesses. One, the eldest, was in charge of raising the sun and bringing the day to all the different kinds of ponies. The other, the younger sister, was in charge of raising the moon and bringing the night.

A thousand years ago, the younger sister had been banished from Equestria for refusing to lower the moon and attempting to plunge the land into eternal night. After serving her exile, she returned, and the two sisters tried to resume what they both hoped would be a normal life.

But a year has passed now since the younger sister's return... and promises made to her have not been kept. With one final decision, she seals Equestria's fate for the next one thousand years using magic deeper than any other.

~~Cover image used with permission from artist~~

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 44 )

More of a Tragedy tag then sad i would say.


Just makes me think bad of Luna, Celestia (probably) had no other choice but to Banish NMM while Luna is just throwing a long lasting temper tantrum because Celestia cant dedicate her time to her and only could try to include her in her schedule. (what shows that she at least tried)

No mention of Luna trying to lighten Celestias load as ruler(now that's a challenge and if would have worked if the people so easily accepted Luna's rule alone, and her declaring that Celestia went away instead of Celestia doing it herself before the banishment), just her avoiding Celestia and planning to banish her for being busy ruling a country.

And just forcing Twilight out of the blue to fight without letting her prepare (Luna obviously knew and waited for the moment that Twilight was there to do it), while Trixie was being prepared for a year. No amount of power will help you there like we saw.

Overall, dislike Luna's sneak attack tactics and pity Celestia. :fluttercry:

this is wrong
so very wrong
so very very wrong

I can not believe how heartless monster is Luna in this story

I can not also believe that she just like that hurt Twilight

and separating her from Celestia is just that is hurting her


I can not believe also that Twilight did not protest, did not try to speak to her in no way to reason

Luna really separate them punished not only her sister but also Twi


she punished and hurt two ponies


how?
How can she be so heartless, I am not able to understand this


:twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops:
:twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2:

Gahh so much woobieisum!javascript:smilie(':facehoof:'); Trixie and Luna are not poor woobies the world has be cruel too.

I'm sorry self righteous Trixie is the kind of Trixie who SOOO needs her ass kicked double time. And flying into rage helps Trixie win? if anything it should have made her lose, Twilight is a magic prodigy and I don't think a year of training combined with misplaced rage would give her the edge needed to win.
And Luna training Trixie specifically to defeat Twilight and Banish her sister? Feels more like Nightmare Moon than Luna. Your depiction of Luna comes off as aloof and vengeance obsessed having learned NOTHING from being freed from Nightmare Moon and encouraging Trixie to embrace rage and revenge against Twilight. Also Luna makes no indication that she did anything to let Celestia know what she wanted until she had already decided Celestia couldn't provide it. Meaning Luna had a hoof in her own alienation.

The structure and the grammar of the story seemed fine, but the content I just feel wasn't true to the characters or the message of the source material.

Now i have a idea in my head so, would you mind if i write a fanfic dedicated to this fanfic (fanficception?), specifically after the 1000 years are over?

Knowing me it wont even be published (:trollestia:) but i can always try :pinkiecrazy:

It would Involved time travel, Twilight with a vengeance, Celestia realizing that Luna deceived her ( cue word: "teamwork" ) , NNM version of Celestia and the following is bouncing around in my head:

"After some 200 years I had no more tears to shed, so i used my mane and tail. This fire represents my hatred, when i left it was but a flicker but now its grown into something much bigger" (NMM version of Celestia is usually described/drawn with a mane/tail looking like a flame so ill go with it.)

461746

Just the reaction i wanted :pinkiehappy: but realized i wrote NMM version of Twilight instead of Celestia, derp :facehoof: :derpyderp2:

461767
Lol I'm such a dick, amarite?

461834

Not really

the R&R in (if i ever post it) the story would be Read and Rage instead of Read and Review :trollestia:
I just want to make something showing that good or evil can easily be twisted depending on who looks at it,that things dont turn out how you thought they would and that you have to deal with the consequences of your actions.

I believe that Luna though she had a good reason to banish Celestia, doesnt mean i believe it to be a good reason.

The only thing i cant dig is Celestias "oh woe is me, i should have dropped all my responsibilities and give all my time to Luna" behavior on the end, Luna read Rarities report but she didnt understand it, she just took part she liked and ignored the rest ( mainly the "but it takes teamwork" part of the letter)

It would be the same as Celestia abandoning her ponies and letting NMM impose eternal night on all (and let them slowly die without sunlight).

Since Celestia only has the letter with her on the moon, she would eventually have to realize how flawed Luna's way of thinking is.

465803
I agree, and 1000 years is a long time to think about what happened, during which time I reckon Celestia would grow to hate her sister.

465880

Just my thought, Celestia didnt deserve to be banished, so in my head its her turning into a NMM version of herself from realizing that she probably lost her sister when NMM took her body, even if the elements took her powers and hate they didn't release luna from NMM just merge them into one,leaving a confused Luna who wants to love her sister but at the same time stays away from her and plans to betray her. (the tragedy being Luna not realizing it herself)

I don't see what you people are so bend out of shape for. Try and see it from Luna's perspective: she's not being a heartless witch, she's just doing it to.. teach Celestia a lesson in a way.

Regardless, I loved this. Nice break frommost of the stories I've been reading.

466705
troll?
Anyway, the point we're getting at is Luna is a psychopath, her logic isn't sane by any stretch of the imagination. We understand her motives and reasoning, but we think there wrong and we are simply hypothesizing over how this insanity will affect Celestia.

466705

Thank you so much for your comment, Twye. ^^ I'm glad you enjoyed it; it was an idea that popped into my head and wouldn't stop bugging me til I wrote it. :twilightsmile:

468481 I fail to see how liking something you don't is trolling. We all have different opinions. :twilightsmile: And I see where you're coming from.

469494 You're very welcome. I'm glad you wrote it. It's interesting the way you wrotethe conflict and how the two went about it. :twilightsmile: Trixie was pretty badass too. :3

470675
Oh no it's not that, it's just that you came across as intentionally stupid in that you failed to grasp our thinking, even though it was displayed for all to see. Therefore trolling us when I inevitably replied with wtf.

I apologize, I meant no offense by calling you a troll, I was being overly paranoid.

466705>>469494
Dont get me wrong , i really like this story, love it. Like how the antagonist wins in the end, but you cant say Luna isn't one and didn't act like a heartless witch (she isnt that one im sure, but she did act like one towards Celestia)

Its just like AhopelessEndevor said, i love to think about how it could go wrong. Luna read the letter to Celestia, i really wonder why because she mentioned stuff like putting differences behind and teamwork. If that wasn't there and she just said she wanted her to feel the "same" pain she went through (can't really be the same since Celestia's banishment would be without a real reason unlike Luna's) it would have been different.

How is plotting behind someones back anything that the letter mentions, the only part it would apply to is "getting your hooves dirty" and that in a totally different sense then the letter meant.

Even if Celestia acted like it was only her fault in this story, would she not sooner or later realize that Luna totally missed the point of the letter? and maybe even feel angry and betrayed? Why would she not see the ambush Luna did as what is it, an ambush/sneak attack?

And how is taking everything from Celestia teaching her a lesson? What lesson? That she should not trust even her kin and that using underhoof (heh) methods is alright if you want to get your point across? (where is the honor and dignity in preparing an attack on your opponent and forcing them to act unprepared?) Using guilt and ambush to catch her unprepared is just low.

She did not just punish Celestia, she punished anyone who cared about her (mainly Twilight, but she would tell her friends at least what really happened, and Spike who was raised by Celestia).

tl;dr version of all i said (not just this post):
When you try to teach someone a lesson using an excessive punishment, it will backfire on you. Especially when your reasons are invalid and reasoning wrong.
And banishing Celestia was just that, excessive punishment with wrong reasons. An eye for an eye isn't a good solution and especially not for "putting differences behind".


I would not bother writing any of this if i didnt like this story that much, why would i?
I'd love to hear some arguments as to how Luna's actions were justified and in accordance with her motives (to bring her closer to her sister).
Not to hate or argue over them, but to try to understand Luna, because i just cant with all i said so far in Celestias defense. And this is also what commenting is for, not just saying "love it,thumbs up"

471914
I debated for a while before writing this; I really didn't know if I wanted to get into the morality behind this story, because there's a lot of it.

Ok, first off: I wrote this with an express point of view- that Celestia WAS ignoring Luna, that she DID shove her to the back because she just didn't know what to do with her. Instead, Celestia poured herself into interest in Twilight and her friends; I took this from the fact that we've seen Luna all of ONCE since she's come back, and not even at the Grand Galloping Gala, which took place DURING the night, when she should have been around. This was just a play on it, but I tried to think of what Luna could do about this if it WAS happening.

Then I started wondering what could have possibly happened to Trixie in the intervening time between Boast Busters and current time in Season 2. The point here was not that Luna found Trixie specifically to mold her into a weapon, but that she legitimately found Trixie, lost and alone, and looked on her as a kindred spirit- a pony who, regardless of why, is alone and friendless in the world. Luna takes her in and begins training her long before she decides to challenge Celestia. Trixie's rage doesn't stem from a hatred for Twilight, but rather a deep love for Luna, the only pony she's ever had who cared about her; she sees Luna's distress and only wants to help her Princess. Very similar to Twilight in that respect, but as Trixie states, Luna is ALL SHE HAS. That will motivate a pony to do crazy things, hence the beating.

As to the challenge itself, in the story Luna talks about the "big picture". She isn't trying to "punish" Celestia, but re-focus her; they are immortal, they will live FOREVER, they have to work together if they're going to make Equestria last and Celestia has become too involved in the fleeting, ephemeral lives of Twilight and her friends, enough that she is ignoring the only other alicorn in the world, the one she is meant to rule side-by-side with. Yes, a thousand years is a long time to put her on the moon; I considered making it less time, but I decided that making it uniform would be more interesting. The challenging her to choose a Champion is just part of the deeper magic behind it that I mentioned- sorta like the "deep magic" that the Chronicles of Narnia mentioned, a magic that goes beyond spells and becomes part of the very fabric of their beings. Alicorns are magic, much more magic than unicorns or any other pony, so I thought that having such a magical connection with a process might not be too far-fetched. That is also why I don't have Twilight throwing a huge fit about Celestia being banished to the Moon; I thought that of all the ponies in the world, SHE would understand the implications of trying to go against a spell as deep as that. She may not like it, but the moment Celestia accepted Luna's challenge, they were both bound, no matter the end.

As to Luna being a "cold-hearted witch"- there are several breaks in her demeanor that point to the opposite. What else do you do? I tried to hint that she HAD been trying to talk to Celestia, trying to help again, but that Celestia just locked her away "like an expensive painting", a relic of the old world. Luna isn't ANGRY, doesn't HATE Celestia; two of the very things that made Nightmare Moon what she was. She's hurt and horrified that she's going to have to do this to her sister... but Luna sees it as necessary to ensure the continuity of Equestria. She loves her sister, but feels that Celestia doesn't give two shakes about her- which is why when Celestia promises that she'll make Luna proud at the end, Luna's shell breaks and she gives Celestia a warm smile.

*whew* OK, TL;DR time-
When you read this, assume that:
Celestia DID ignore Luna and deny all of her requests to help.
Luna had NO OTHER CHOICE but to do this.
Trixie wins because she is beyond determined to help Luna, because Luna is ALL TRIXIE HAS.
Luna waited for Twilight to be in the castle because that way she could make the challenge and be DONE with it, not to get the drop on them.

That's the mindset I was in when I wrote this. I hope that this makes a little more sense to you; I was really hoping to NOT have to do this, because honestly I don't see the point in "arguing" about it- I figure you either like it or you don't. :twilightsmile:

473065
Thanks for replying and dont mind me, just going to go through your points , no need to reply to them and i acknowledge your points, just doesnt mean i have to agree with them because i can only go with what you wrote in the story itself, not what you had in your head as a story but did not include in the story. (also why sometimes "arguing" about a story is needed i would say, some want to understand each side not just like or not like the story)

Ok, first off: I wrote this with an express point of view- that Celestia WAS ignoring Luna, that she DID shove her to the back because she just didn't know what to do with her... (to save space i wont copy all lol)

From the story:
Yes, thou hast. Asked us to join thee on diplomatic missions, outings to see thy protégé and her friends…

Just because Luna did not like the WAY Celestia wanted to spend time with her does not mean Celestia was ignoring her, Luna was the one ignoring Celestia by your own words, i would try to give someone some space first if they constantly refuse me. But if your always alone i would try to get you to hang out with others.
Like you said (and Luna knows) Twilight and her friends will die while she has all the time of the world.They are a important asset to Equestra as the Elements of Harmony and nobody knows how long will pass until the new bearers of the elements are found.

Just like Luna is everything Trixie has in this story Twilight is "everything" Celestia has(in general so i guess in this story too?), the others treat her just as a princess (except for Pinkie maybe lol ) while Twilight also treats her as a pony of flesh and with feelings (when not panicking about her visiting or something heh), something that Celestia would certainly value. Twilight's life would pass for Luna like a blink of an eye then, but she couldn't take it after a year. And there was no reason to not give Twilight a day at least to prepare,killing of the "surprise attack" feeling, no reason at all. (again a day would mean nothing to Luna would it?)



Spent a good hour thinking/writing about all so ill stop ranting here and just say that everything would make sense if the end did, but the punishment/refocusing method you used killed it for me.
With that it all just clicked in my head and screamed revenge to me, why use the same thing Celestia did to save the world from NMM/Luna, and on celestia of all ponies, that is the purest symbol of revenge you could pick.

What could she learn about being a better sister being alone on a rock for 1000 years? (if she did already learn her lesson why did Luna still banish her if she just wanted her to see her error and learn from her mistake? her casting the spell instead of it being automatic makes it her choice, and would there not be a safeguard or something for the challenger to retract the challenge just in case it went overboard or the point made without the punishment)

From the letter she could learn nothing since its how Mortal sisters would deal with the problem, not how Luna did and thinks they had to. (the letter just doesnt fit there even if its about sistership)

"Forcing" Celestia to hide for 100/1000/whatever years as a earth pony/unicorn/pegasus among mortals to learn from them how to be a better sister would be a fitting method to teach her her mistakes and would go better along with the rest of the story.

And just because Twilight accepted that there is no going back from the chalenge does not mean she wasn't hurt by the loss of Celestia, all in all still makes Lunas methods wrong for me, sorry.

474304
Well, I won't argue if that's how it came off to you; I can't change your opinion, after all! :twilightsmile: Thank you for reading it, in any case; it's good to see how everything is coming across. ^^

Interesting. You don't see too many stories where the antagonist wins and that is portrayed to be a good thing. To be honest, I was expecting Luna to relent and give Celestia one more chance; it would have made everyone a bit more sympathetic. Also, to be honest, I don't care much for the 'we gave our word and that's binding to a ridiculous degree' thing, as it feels like a cop out. And there is no way Celestia would agree to a magically binding contract that might put her sister on the moon for another thousand years. This should really end with Celestia saying, "You know what? No. I refuse your challenge. I see that you are dissatisfied, but before we get all mythical why don't you give me another year during which you can call the shots in our relationship. I'll stop trying to include you in my life, and you tell me what you want instead of saying no and shunning me. If you're unhappy then, we can revisit this."

But all of that aside, I'd have to say that my biggest problem with this is that Luna is looking too hard at the big picture and doesn't care about the short term results of her actions. Realistically, the only ponies left in Equestria who know what really happened are the former Nightmare Moon, a half-crazed former showmare who is obsessed with her, and Celestia's personal student. Twilight is not going to be on Luna's side after this whole thing; best case scenario, she's going to completely shut down and be of no use to anyone. Worst case scenario, she's going to try to use the Elements against Luna or to return Celestia to her rightful place. In the meantime, no member of the government or military is going to believe that a pony who has shunned company and duty for a year is suddenly going to be left in charge willingly by Celestia. They're going to think she's gone evil again and banished their beloved ruler, and it will be chaos no matter what she does.

I know that you say, "It took a while, but the ponies of Equestria accepted what Luna told them, and soon things were running as smoothly as they ever had," but be serious. Luna is out of touch and it sounds like she's uninterested in the daily lives of her subjects. Between the suspicion and the fact that they are accustomed to Celestia's style, all Luna will bring to the table is resentment. And Trixie is a "competent mind in military matters?" Why would she need to be? Sounds like the griffons and dragons aren't going to care for Luna either. I really started out liking this, but by the end it was extremely unpalatable.

504628
Thank you for your interpretation; again, as I stated before, it's interesting to see how people are taking this story. :twilightsmile:

Question:

How exactly do Twilight and the rest of the girls react in the immediate aftermath of Luna's antics? Twilight jumped in with little real combat training simply because she wanted to aid her mentor. I suspect Luna knew this and it doesn't take a genius to figure out Twilight would figure it out. I can't imagine she took the matter well and I can't imagine the rest of the mane cast did either. For that matter, I can't see her being OK with Trixie after this. After all, Trixie just forced the pony that Twilight regarded as both a mentor and possibly a second mother out of her life. Assuming she didn't immediately try to beat the crap out of the former showmare, I can't imagine she ever forgave Luna or Trixie for what they did. In short, this demands a sequel. Hell, if you were okay with it, I'd probably write one myself.

506682
I certainly don't imagine that Twilight was all "sunshine and rainbows" towards Trixie or Luna afterwards, but I intentionally left that part out; after all, this was just a one-shot, and not part of a larger story.

fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/243/f/9/profile_picture_by_twilightshrugplz-d48h6p7.png

It was never my intention to write a sequel, but I certainly can't stop you if you want to! :twilightsmile: If you do write it, make sure you link me; I'd like to read it! ^_^

I just might. :twilightsmile: Oh, and feel free to check out my current fic. I hope to update it a little later today, come to think of it. Working on the newest chapter as we speak. :eeyup:

That reminds me, was this set during season one or two? :unsuresweetie:

509358
I was rather nonspecific, but I consider it to be, like, mid-season 2? Ish? :twilightblush:

509895 Cool. Just checking. :twilightsmile:

Very nice! It's a good thing this story isn't a changeling, because it definitely isn't getting enough love, dohohohoh.

I must say I'm disappointed in the ponies, though. "What's that, Usurper of the Throne? You say our deposed ruler was A-Okay with this arrangement and your only witnesses are your personal student and your sister's student (who has obvious marks of violence upon her)? Sure, I'll buy that for a dollar!"

Of course if you didn't speed through that then this would probably be a horrifying tale of of brutal and bloody civil war rather than a sad and well-written oneshot, so YMMV.

558921
LOL... Changeling... XD Nicely said.

Thank you very much for the comment, and you're right; honestly, I was playing a little on the general populace's assumed desire to maintain peace to kinda influence them to just let it pass, even if they did grumble about it. And moreover, I WANTED this to be a sad one-shot, not a saga of bloody civil war. ^^;

Thank you again for the comment, and I'm very glad you liked it! :twilightsmile:

I really enjoyed this story. We get some good action, an official challenge for the throne, kind of a tough love thing going with Luna and Celestia too. Trixie being Luna's student was a nice touch, even if it has been done before, I still enjoyed its execution here in this story. You do get a feeling of sorrow from Luna so that she doesn't come off as the needy Princess who wants the throne and more attention, but actively wants to be a better sister. Admittedly, putting Celestia on the moon might've been taking it a bit far, but as Luna said, they're Alicorns, they live forever, they have eternity to get it right :twilightsmile:.

It was a really good one-shot.

Oh Luna dear, would you come here a second? Closer...Closer...Closer....BANISHING YOUR SISTER TO THE F--KING MOON FOR 1000 YEARS IS IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM A REASONABLE REACTION TO A BIT OF 'NEGLECT' WHICH AMOUNTS TO NOT SPENDING EVERY WAKING SECOND WITH YOU YOU GODDA-N IDIOTIC BRAT OF A MOON BUTT! YOU WERE BANISHED TO THE MOON FOR TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND KILLING EVERYPONY WITH ETERNAL NIGHT! HOW DOES SHE DESERVE THE SAME PUNISHMENT FOR NOT BEING A GOOD SISTER IN YOUR EYES YOU SPOILED WASTE OF LIVING FLESH?! :flutterrage:

5978008 she's blinded by hate pain fear all these things blind someone and bring them over to the dark side love is a powerful force and when a person has no love they are free to be as cruel as they want to be because they do not understand what love is

7575848 Amorality doesn't justify horrible actions, it's the measure by which you're more likely to perform them. Besides, no matter how you slice it, their 'crimes' are not equal. So 'forgive me' if I'm a little ticked at her idiocy.

7576166 it is an alternate universe maybe certain things happened differently maybe the people just started hating luna again and maybe celestria failed to get them to stop hating her as much maybe Celestia even failed to stop them for all intents and purposes maybe the citizens even attacked Luna I mean we've already seen what Ponyville does two new creatures why not plus the author didn't go into details on how much they hated her and to be fair a thousand year banishment by celestria I believe that had to be paid back

7576191 As long as Nightmare Moon/Eternal Night was on the table banishment was justified. Unless Celestia was doing something that actually endangered the nation/world banishment generally isn't justified.

7576567 sadly I think this had to happen was a set point in time in the story

7576571 Well, it's been 70 weeks since I read it so I neither remember nor care.

Eternal Night + Banishment = Justified
Negligent Sibling + Banishment = Not Justified.

7576648 both are Justified in a sense both were extreme punishments for both sides for what they did was wrong Justice in its most extreme form

7576655 Yeah no, Nightmare Moon was going to KILL EVERYONE ON THE PLANET BY STARVING OFF ALL PLANT LIFE. At that point she HAD to be gotten rid of either permanently or until they could actually deal with it. Thing is? At no point are we shown the elements being guided to do anything other than blast rainbows and hope for the best. Even if the banishment was intentional, which it could be argued it wasn't, it was to save the lives of every other living being on the planet. At what point DOES it become justifiable in your eyes to banish NMM? It was justifiable to banish Tirek for stealing magic. It was justifiable to freeze Discord in stone for spreading chaotic madness. But Nightmare Moon gonna kill everyone? Fuck no, give her an icecream and let her do what she wants.

7576682 Justice in its most extreme Nightmare Moon gets banished Justice and most extreme for sibling neglect sadly the same The Elements of Harmony don't care about who's good who's evil they only care about dishing out Justice even at its most extreme they punish the villain equally to what they have done also on a side note do you see celestria ever going evil if the roles were reversed

7576688 Depends on what the writer wants to happen. Regardless though, let's stop talking. This conversation is just running in place at this point. I think Celestia was wholly in the right whereas Luna not so much, you seem to want to equate them to be roughly the same despite the extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeme difference in severity of the crime. Nothing's going to be accomplished, clearly no opinions are going to change, and holy mother of fucking god I. DO. NOT. CARE. Seriously, you think I even remembered this fic after 70 weeks? Hell, the only reason we're having this conversation is you had to play comment necromancer and talk to me about it.

7576709 alright it dies

Damn, 6 years later and i stil remember this story as the first thing when i see your profile and go "**** that **** Luna!" :rainbowlaugh:

Congrats on making a memorable story. Well memorable to me at least. :pinkiesmile:

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