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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This chapter was great. I really liked how Barb gave excellent descriptions about the dresses that Rarity made. Watching Rarity and AJ be sympathetic to Bronze's plight along with RD making Fluttershy overcome her shyness to model the dresses was very sweet and showed how emotionally intimate the girls are with each other. I also think this is Rarity's funniest episode with her panicking enough that Brinze had to slap her silly to her tiny fight with AJ and the pumpkin sundress incident. Cadance's surprise appearance was nice as she ensure to check on Bronze and Dusk's wellbeing and also opens the arc to Barb having to momentarily leave the setting to comfort Philomena. Hope to see how that the next chapter comes soon to see how the PP episode will be like.
P.S: This is literally the most kissable episode given the number of kisses exchanged between the characters.
It's a bit difficult to distinguish between the Element of Kindness and the Generosity of affections Rarity has. It's all so cavity-enducingly sweet. I love it.
Really? Because it seems like it's been heading this way for some time, also that Rarity is just like this.
Classic anime tripping scene. Yet to get old.
Very cute lovers' spat during the dress prep.
Really liked the descriptions of the dresses. Shows an expertise in the field.
The comment about Dusk still not understanding how ponies' minds work makes me wonder is he has some form of Autism. This could account for a number of his idiosyncrasies.
Nice chapter, I'm looking forward to what happens at the Gala. One thing I'm curious about is Barb. She has a crush on Rarity but she knows Dusk and Rarity are together and I'm not sure what she feels about Dusk. I know she cares about him but I can't tell if she may also have a crush on Dusk.
Still, great story so far and I look forward for more.
6889020 HAHA. Yeah, major serious case of blue balls. The poor guy.
6942578
There are less errors as he picks up editors (hopefully), and a few of us are (slowly) going through old chapters and correcting stuff.
6942578 First of all, thank you very much for taking the time to comment! I am a very feedback dependent writer and I love to hear from peopleregardlessof the context, positive or negative!
I understand what you are talking about, I had massive issues back in the day with overuse ofkey words like would that my editors have been grilling out of me for ages. I will make it a priority to go back and work on those issues in the older chaoters soon
Hopefully you will find less of these issues going forward and I can't wait to hear more from you positive or negative!
6943035 I understand. Like I said before,would (and tense) are two things my editors have helped me fix a lot of. I do hope you stick it out as it was around chapter 5 that I gained two full-time editors, with my 4th joining in at around chapter 8 or 9 if I remember correctly. Hopefully you can hang in until the improvements get better, but I understand if it's too much for you.
6943175
Persevere - we eventually applied the thumb tacks and stopped him from using it all the time.