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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Okay, this chapter was awesome. The idea of sparring matches of contestants against Wonderbolts is interesting. I'm also surprised that you disproved my theory about Winter actually being Luna in disguise as her old dialect and romance with Redheart matches Luna's first encounter with the nurse. Celestia and Luna talking about the Rainbow Factory as if it were some sentient being was very interesting. Going to the shipping, the date between RD and Dusk was adorable, especially with how RD asked Dusk's permission to add him as her lover in the Wonderbolt list and Dusk embarrassment when Dash teased him with her feet. Too bad Zephyr nearly screwed the moment by acting callous, which is quite the interesting take to his character as he's far more egocentric than his pony self. Blitz and AJ talking about flowers and RD's mom was beautiful, especially as we learn more about RD's family and we hear AJ's opinion about how Dusk herd is growing and how RD feels about her and Dusk. Fluttershy's dad is far more interesting than his canon counterpart, especially as he's happy that Shy has Rarity and will have Dusk help with her anxiety. I want Fluttershy's mom to appear as she seems to be a wild gal based on how she accepted her husband's proposal and how Shy joked about her teaching Dusk on how to treat Shy. Lastly, the ending with Shy bonding with Gentle Breeze via her ability to talk with birds and her surprise when Breeze started cussing was heartwarming and funny. Thanks for the amazing chapter.
Zephyr Breeeze is so obnoxious, I wonder if its so they can have one person of such style when Blueblood gets redeemed. Or will he, elsewhere.
Speed and toughness of pegasi must be a lot higher than expected, if going up against an apex predator with a momentum weapon capable of shattering bone on a grazing hit.
Will Aj introduce raised beds, to get the soil depth, and talk about hydroponics, for food crops that only need fabric over dense clouds without specific support spells?
just wat will Dash have to do in order to compete, as it looks like under normal canon type storyline, Dusk will lose all the supporting spells for some reason? Or one or two?
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Thanks! You don't know how much words of support like this helps!
I wanted to continue to reinforce their presence as a military force first and foremost.
Hmmm. Yes, about that.
Not that she would ever admit that's what she was saying.
Callous and egocentricity can be closely realited things in some people. Made worse with low self esteem.
It's stuff I've wanted to esablish and go into deeper for ages.
Funny story: We didn't name him yet because we couldn't decide on one and at the last second just cheaped out on it.
Thanks! I wanted to show him as a disabled soldier who has a little too much pride, but loves his family too much to let it get in the way.
Maybe in the interlude between Seasons 1-2? Or Early season 2? We shall see. Trying to balance a lot but trying to fit it in.
Thanks! Trying to introduce new oc's slowly but super worried they will end up labeled as Marry Sue's so trying to be careful with it. Fun fact: This was around the halfway point of part I had planed to release. Was over 50 pages on the doc and decided splitting it up would be better. A LOT is going to happen in part 4. Who knows.. Dusk and Dash might even...
7550304 Yay! question's and theories! I love these. They always wind up making my stale brain turn and process thoughts a little better. Here we go:
Blueblood gets redeemed? Huh, wait to ambush me with that fact. Zephyr is a painful character in the one episode, so I wanted to try to make him into something a little more while keeping the essence of his presentation. His behavior will be more understandable... someday. If I don't blow it.
True, but it's far more resilience then toughness. See any example of Dash doing shit that should have killed herself. About the Apex thing... More to come.
As suggested in Fluttershy's talk with Gentle Breeze, Pegasi are just as serious about the harvest season as Earth ponies, since their home can't properly support real crops or harvest themselves. But these are great ideas, most of all the idea of a rain cloud being used to grow crops on by feeding their roots into the cloud itself to draw moisture without the need for rain itself. Ideas are magic!Just wat will Dash have to do in order to compete, as it looks like under normal canon type storyline, Dusk will lose all the supporting spells for some reason? Or one or two? Hmmm, yes. Just what comes next? Well, don't worry. Dash will get to show off, you can count on that.
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I don't think you have to worry too much about that. The world you've created and built around the show is strong enough that you could easily afford more OCs, especially if it's in an effort to illustrate how your world is different than that of FiM which is where I feel you're strongest. At least, that's how I see Bronze, as the everyman/pony character who's your fish out of water to explain elements and things that might otherwise be unspoken around the other characters that reside in the world. Gentle Breeze, similarly, I see is an excellent way to explain the bat ponies and their role (and by extension Luna's) role in Equestrian society and how it relates to the Pegasii.
Things I'd like to note:
Yay, earth pony magic! Makes me think back to Mac's reaction about the loss of the Appleoosan orchard. Those trees are practically his kids. And with the amount of magic he puts into the soil, and that weapon of his, what's next? Lord of the Everfree?
At any rate, AJ's safe on Terra Firma, so if what happens next is anything like the show, I think she's safe from falling. So who will it be? Rarity? Dusk? What could cause the fall? Hm? Possibly an overeager arcane artifact the size of a massive building reaching out to the first pony that's cast magic it's familiar with in a thousand years? I believe Dusk has mentioned that magic often has a will of its own, perhaps the most powerful artifacts have their own thoughts and feelings (might explain some of the weirdness around the elements).
D'aw, adorable Dash.
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First of all, thanks! The topic of OCs and handeling them well its a very sensitive on that gets me really worried. I'm glad you've enjoyed them all so far! My favorite part is the extra eyes they offer to view the world that differs from Dusk's super logical point of view.
Notes? I love notes!
Lord commander big hammer? Nah, he's too much of a homebody. But maybe if Zecora asked nicely, he might vist more often.
Yeah, about that...
Well, i'll tell you that it isn't hubris like in the episode.
Oh just wait. We will have some fun!
She is great at it!
loved this chapter!!! Can't wait to see what happened next!!!!
7553040 Thanks! New part is at nearly 12k already, but I'm nearly done it, depending if I split the stuff that comes after Rainboom off into a interlude of it's own or not.