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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Tank you soooo much i love this world's story
Tank you
wooo moar
This turned out nicely. Keep it up.
Nice! Happy to see an update, and glad to hear you're feeling better.
Loved the chapter as always, you always deliver!
Gotta say, Rarity is... kind of an ungrateful jerk in this chapter, ouch. Gushing over AJ and Barb... did she not notice Bronze, Dash, or Winona? Except to expect Dash to be her personal valet and haul around gemstones of all things, I guess. Then the poor girl with that brutal dog death at the end, I'm betting that's going to be a tad on the upsetting side. Next time they oughta just let Rarity un kidnap herself, jeez.
woohoo, another great chapter!!
8392552
Hey, thanks! I'm glad you approve.
8392754
More???!!!
8392870
Hey, you helped make it this good... doesn't this mean you're just complimenting yourself?
8397330
Thank you! It was sitting on my for far too long as a annoying weight that I just simply couldn't work through for some reason. I'm glad it turned out so well.
8393609
Hey there, thanks!
So: My Bad. I was trying to show that Rarity was having a weak moment, having somewhat of a break down the moment she realized she was 'safe' at least in retaliative terms compared to how stressed she had been in the last few hours. This will be better depicted in the next part after she and Dusk finally meet up at the very end of the chapter so hopefully it'll help better show her trauma, but I do apologize for not properly showing that she wasn't just being a selfish bitch.
Thanks again for the feed back to you all! Always feel free to leave any comments, or pm me if you have questions and ideas!
8411741
Basically, yes.
Chapter I really liked it. Winowa's thoughts about when he was with the Diamond Dog Tribe you knew how to make it completely his anguish and his subsequent relief now that he lives with AJ. Barb is really very courageous to go to save Rarity. I have to say that in her story the young dragon to several attributes of the series Spike knows the risks but she likes to try it and I really like it. you have almost united the idea of the diamond dog episode and the cockatrice is happening at the same time. great idea.
It is also a great choice to move from the action to the past memory, it overcomes the current situation, just a few things, a sudden moment to open a door to forgotten memories. Sunset Shimmer in this case in his memory was very helpful to get rid of the basilisk chicken look
Fluttershy and very protective with her animals and you made it perfect. and Dusk's action is great, caught on the apex of the action without slowing down the rhythm.
I have to admit that your choice of two cats and a lot more logical than a solitary series and for a moment I thought there was only one black and as Fluttershy I was surprised. good job.
I will wait for the next part with desire. see you
8445458
Hey thanks!
That was a big part of this reveal. Showing that diamond dogs arn't all dumb by bringing up Winona as an example of a dog with friends and support. Plus it answers a lot of questions about her and the dogs existence the show never touched.
I so often forget to properly use Barb and its sad because she has a ton of potential so it was a delight to finally make it to a point where she could have her chance to shine. And combining the Dogs and the Cockatrice made so much sense to me as it more evenly used the characters and give them all a chance to shine better, and allowed Bronze to interact with the other mares in the story without Dusk being around.
I like trying to build up Dusk and Shimmer's existence and past without just releasing dozens of chapters that are nothing but Dusk and Shimmer's backstory. Plus it helps build Dusk's character without making him into more of a Mary Sue.
Yeah, I really enjoy having a chance to show off more of Fluttershy considering how meek is usually is.
It's all about retelling the major points of the story without just repeating it all. I did that too much in the early chapters and felt like it didn't come out as good as it could have gone.
No problem! I will try to make some proper progress on the writing side of things. Thanks!
8455534
Dusk, Dusk's horn and the Black Lotus are all lot threads that return occasionally throughout the story. Much like dusk writing his dam about his herd, its a plot thread I've probably done a poor job establishing, or even reinforcing but i hope to make them all work thier majic in the long run. Thanks for all your ideas, i will try for more detailed replies fo your thoughts soon but its fantastic to see you enjoy the story.
And ifs because of reader reactions like yours that Bronze became a long term supporting figure in the ongoing story.
8573959
It's about Rarity, Sweetie Belle and things that happened. Most important, it relates to Sweetie Belle's father and is a warning to Dusk about the sensitive situation of her birth.
8685757
It's a term used for those gender is more complex. It isn't used very often these days, but it's more polite than more common terms these days like 'futa'.
8692781
Well thank you very much. Embarrassingly bad how many mistakes I made on the early chapters before I got editors to help.
Will this ever be updated? Or is it over? I enjoyed this alternate version and the author’s world building.
8817924
I hope so but I'm struggeling. I've got two scenes left in the chapter but my enthusiasm has fallen to pieces. Sorry.
8837717
It's a older designation for a non binary character that isn't used much anymore. Sorry.
awwww canceled?! that's a shame. it was doing so well
Just stopping in to commend you on calling a dead fic dead (cancelled) instead of just leaving it incomplete for five years with promises to continue.