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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Wow, I'm galas that this chapter finally came out. I enjoyed how AJ talked with AB about the talk and how AJ and Dusk are developing romantic feelings for each other. The world building about the Board of Labors interesting, especially with that cliffhanger. I also liked Winona's characterization. I hope the next chapter comes soon as it's getting interesting.
5343485 Then I've got great news. I've only got one scene left to write for the chapter and Frankie is only two scenes behind me on editing!
Ad you enjoyed it. It was a real struggle to get past the pre harvest stuff for some reason. Can't wait to bring you the rest!
Leave it to dusk to do Fermi level estimates in his head while walking. 85 acres is a massive apple farm, and with your estimates of trees per acre, we aren't talking about those piddly dwarf apple trees either. Doing the math goes a long way to setting the scene for not only what Big Mac and Applejack have accomplished over the years, but also what the whole group is about to go through. This chapter was worth the wait.
5346755 thanks! I made sure to include math for both Dusk and AJ to help show that while he is smarter then her, she ISNT some dumb hick as other writers have sometimes protrayed her.
I spent WAY too long on the math for the farm. Because I could not find yield info for the dwarf trees i said screw it and went back to real trees. You can see more about that in my side story with Mac. Needless to say the whole math section was all highlighted in the notes asking if it was too long and boring despite being super in character for Dusk. You've made my day by noticing this!
Huh. I think I'm finally seeing the motif of this story. You take the glorious show, you put multiple incisions into the fabric of it's story, then you knit in realism, length, tension, and a touch of heart-stringing. Rock on, dude. Rock on.
Something bugs me, though. You take great pains describing the mane 6 and other ponies, but it seems like other characters aren't as represented. For example, would Winona be a human with canine characteristics (like dog ears, a tail, etc) or an anthro? Sorry if I don't understand, just wondering.
Oh, and another thing. If Flash Sentry makes an appearance, would he remain the same or be R63'd? Either way, would he stay the same, "unassuming character" people denote him as, or would he be interesticated (like with emotions, thoughts, motivation and all that good stuff that makes characters 3-dimensional)?
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A: Well thank you. It's my major goal to collect the feel of the series and story and expand on it as far as I can into reality.
B: I know. This is one of my major failings. I hope as I go on with chapters I will be able to expand this to make things clearer.
C: Spoilers!
Great work as always Psi. To be honest I just sent my own chapter to my editor lifes awful at time huh? Anyways good job
9.4/10
5355496 thanks man and great to see you again!. I'm loving gdocs for helping with editing. It means that Frankie's progress on editing makes me keep pushing forward to finish the chapter haha.
5355505 true enough. Plus I get winter break in a week and a half ( ) so if you need my mad proof-reading skills ( ) Im able to help
Wait...I thought Ginger put up the Farm on the board...did it fall off? Did someone who didn't like the Apples take it off when working the labor board? Did Meadow do it because AJ snuffed him on AB?
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The papers weren't finished and were lost in the frantic shuffle.
So Winona's an anthro? That's neat. And once more, the human realism of the Apples already hiring out, like most farms do, but AJ can't handle her load because sometimes life just sucks.
Also, any idea why I don't get notifications of when you reply to me?
Good to see that Applebloom has a potential love interest, instead was being paired with Barb.