Rumble's Checkup

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Comments ( 17 )

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Jake The Army Guy

Jake The Army Guy #1 · Aug 3rd, 2014 · 3 · 2 ·

This is an achievement in bad writing. "A" for effort... Well, no, but "A" for initiative, but this needs some serious work.

thealicorngamer247

thealicorngamer247 #2 · Aug 3rd, 2014 · · ·

This complete bull**** I'm just kidding that was really good

Evil HERO Malicious Bane

Evil HERO Malicious Bane #3 · Aug 3rd, 2014 · · ·

If Rumble's not human then what's with the human tag ?

Pvt Caboose

Pvt Caboose #4 · Aug 3rd, 2014 · · ·

I-uh, I'm just going to leave...

Comment posted by TheWanderingPikachuPony deleted Aug 3rd, 2014

Taxes

Taxes #6 · Aug 4th, 2014 · · ·

4792861
fltter and cloudchaser were the humans

Xy zzy the Xenopony

Xy zzy the Xenopony #7 · Aug 5th, 2014 · 1 · ·

Just a little work in the grammar department. I don't see anything else wrong with it.

atomic nom

atomic nom #8 · Aug 5th, 2014 · · ·

...UNF

Nuff said

MetalBrony823

MetalBrony823 #9 · Aug 5th, 2014 · · ·

4803888 What does that mean UNF?

atomic nom

atomic nom #10 · Aug 5th, 2014 · · ·

4803963 means that I had a fantastic time fapping to this my good sure. :D

SirFaggotMcCuntFace

SirFaggotMcCuntFace #11 · Aug 6th, 2014 · · ·

Continue please

Sky Raider

Sky Raider #12 · Aug 11th, 2014 · · ·

Good fic you should continue it and make a nather chapter

Galaxy Knight

Galaxy Knight #13 · Aug 17th, 2014 · 1 · ·

Descriptions are good but I think this could have been longer and the reason for them being human doesn't make sense.

biospark120

biospark120 #14 · Sep 17th, 2014 · 1 · 2 ·

Please don't say hateful comments, or say that this tale is pure bull****, because I am a sensitive person.

cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/19822175.jpg
Just sayin that this is a fic that can seriously use some work, I mean it just jumps in faster than sonic on crack and he just shrugs off the fact that he woke up with 2 of his brothers friends/girlfriends that have magically grown a pair of tits and now resemble a creature he has never seen in his life. But the fap was good

Star House

Star House #15 · Nov 13th, 2014 · · ·

well i like it. so dint listen to the people that didint like it

Moon loving Changeling

Moon loving Changeling #16 · May 4th, 2016 · · ·

Great story. ~hug

Luckyfanisaac

Luckyfanisaac #17 · Apr 13th, 2022 · · ·

"Oh, look who's awake, Flitter." said Cloudchaser. "Did you sleep well, Rumble?"
"Today's your checkup, Rumble." said Flitter.(——
"I have a question." said Rumble.(——
Also we wanted to use these utensils more easily, so we have hands to help us." said Cloudchaser.(——
"You still think we're beautiful, don't you?" asked Flitter a little worried. Cloudchaser had the same worrid expression on her face.(——
and said,(—— "Tell you what, kiddo: If you pass the checkup, me and Flitter will give you a very awesome present."
"Two awesome presents to be exact." Flitter added.(——
"It will make you feel very good." said Flitter.(——
Rumble felt his manhood becoming hard again, feeling Cloudchaser's warm hand on his cheek. "They...they won't hurt?" he asked.(——
Cloudchaser then crawled onto the bed seductively, and placed the stethascope not on his chest, but on his testicles. Rumble could feel the chestpiece gently pressing on his testicles, it was actually cold, and surprisingly liked the feeling of it being pressed.
"Oooh. Sounds healthy." said Cloudchaser.

Pahaha

"Well...Looks like you passed your checkup." said Cloudchaser
"I did?" said Rumble

This is so weird. Your missing a lot of periods in this.

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