- Member Since 10th Nov, 2011
- offline last seen Oct 7th, 2022
Marik_Azemus
I usually stick to common themes in my stories. I like to have all the characters have a good reason for their goals. I shoot down any concept of fate. Also, there are always dragons.
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So, succubi and incubi can sense and manipulate auras, and can give relationships the nudge they need to get started, like Cadence? Being picked up so easily by butterflies must be a pegasus thing. Glad to see Rumble is trying to be responsible with his powers, hopefully most other ponies in his situation are trying to be responsible as well. First comment!
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I just need a head's up and confirmation: Incubi and succubi are the same thing, just incubi are males (like Rumble) and succubi are female (like Vinyl Scratch), right??? Other than gender, they are one and the same, right??
5625447 Pretty much yeah. The other differences only matter when you start looking into arcane matters for the purposes of Rituals and such, and even then, sometimes it doesn't matter much at all
I... don't know how I feel about this.
Generally speaking I like your loose romance "universe" that Spike, Rumble, and the rest exist in. But Rumble having this power is just sort of lame. I mean, he has all the power. He can manipulate them any way he wants if I'm understanding it correctly. There is no tension of getting the girl, or screwing up if he has total control. It feels like I'm just watching it go through the motions. This being clop, that's sort of the point, but still..
You do generally set up your characters with moral dilemmas. Spike's had them before, so I can see it working out here. But even so I can't help but think Rumble is just too good. Even if that's the point.
edit: I'm just voicing thoughts as I read this. As it's not finished, don't necessarily take this as criticism.
5629332 The dilemma is that he doesn't know whether or not he's controlling Flitter. If he manipulated one of his closest friends into sleeping with him, he essentially raped her. He keeps trying to convince himself that he's in control, but he doesn't know for certain.
5629623 makes sense. That's a good angle.
I just hope you can keep it interesting. Spike and Rumble being such studs in a way to tell a story, sure. But it can get boring seeing them win out all the time.
5630959 That's why I'm branching off to other characters' already existing relationships, and having Spike settle down with Sweetie Belle while still keeping his herd.
Well, I have to say, this has both very hot sex, good characterization, and a good moral dilemma. I'm going to enjoy this.
Though couldn't he just ask Vinyl for advice if he's so worried about it? I don't know if cubi have rules about it in this verse, but it would make sense - especially if cubi have extended lifespans - if a cubi is responsible for any who they make cubi for the first decade or so. Not in the sense they have to stick around like a sire, but in the sense they need to be available to answer any questions, clear up any issues...and if the created cubi becomes a monster who threatens the well being of the cubi, eliminate them.
You bloody genius. That was great. It was all to great. Looking forward to more. :)
HOLLY HELL, that was awesome, where is the rest?
5739025 Don't worry, it's coming. I just need to focus on other stuff for a while.
5739109 I would be willing to help you write more for this, if you would allow that
5739150 Well, if you feel you can work well with my writing style, that'd be wonderful. I'll contact you when I need you.
CDaWH was an amazing story, one of my favorites in a long time.
Seeing a sequel to my favorite part of such a story.
Yes please!
~TOOWC
Damn, this is both very hot and very believable. Feels more realistic than most 'get all the mares' stories.
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Good chapter. I like how you're portraying the twins. Hope you keep updating at a steady pace.
I don't mean to be a prude, but you inserted Flitter at the gym when you were referring to Cloudchaser. Rumble was trying to emulate a depicted martial stance, then Flitter walks out and corrects the stance? Otherwise, great chapter!
5949973 Darn, thought I caught all of those mistakes. Good catch.
Hot.
I wanna laugh and shout "gaaaay," but this is way too straight, lel
Liked the part with the breakdancer, that was schweet.
Poor Rumble. Can't enjoy himself without his powers trying to overtake his mares
That Princess Bride reference!
That was...actually a rather touching chapter. Of course, the conclusion was rather obvious from the get go, but I like how it was handled.
So Equestrian cubi, rather than having near mind control powers like in most mythos, just have highly developed emotion reading capabilities, and the ability to make someone pay attention to something? If that's the case...I'm beginning to think 'Mom' is going to turn out to be Cadence.
...actually, put that way, Rumble's ability to mix two compatible auras to get two ponies to realize mutual attraction sounds a lot like Cadence's love spells. Is Cadence 'Mom'? Is the Princess of Love actually a Succubus?
6358431 I too, am wondering the same things.
Also, I don't use this often, but this chapter deserves it.
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6358431 You know I was thinking Luna... but damn if that makes even more sense. The Princess of Love is a canon emotion reader/manipulator, and so far the cubi powers are merely scaled down versions of her own. It makes perfect sense that she is the "Mother" of all cubi.
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6555010
6555172 lol
Rumble how'd you get so fly...?
Over a year and no update
7673901
Almost 3 years now
9088437
Make that 5 years.
10325306
it's 7 now...
11341518
Man, I feel old.
11341570
wait til you hear your middle school jams in the grocery store. That's when you know 30 is only a breath away and you are gonna start making sound effects when you stand.