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To read, or not to read... that is the question.
4746244
I wouldn't, if I were you ...
Well... that happened. Not sure what to say now. It sort of came out of nowhere, but hey, I'll roll with it. Not precisely seeing the Comedy (unless that ending was supposed to be Comedy) or Alternative Universe tags here though. Is Sweetie Belle aged up? Because I don't think so, and in which case, you might want to add 'foalcon' to your warning list.
Otherwise, I have no idea what to do now. You used the word 'pussy' five times in the same paragraph. Somehow, my brain picked that up above everything else.
I... I think I'm done here. I'm standing on neutral ground here.
EDIT: Oh yeah, there was something else. That cover image. It looks pretty cool.
Please, continue. Yeeeeees?
4746359 Lmao this must have been a troll comment xD And i'm so lazy to
And how do like this? This is just the worst clop ever 
4746376 No, this is a good epilogue.
4746527 Well, I never thought I would hear that
But, thanks but I don't believe this will be continued anytime soon 
This story can't be that bad
'5 seconds later'
Feathers...Feathers everywhere
I'd feel like Spike wasn't necessary for the story, ya know? But it was a fine quicky.
the pace was to fast for me
4752851 Was kinda in a hurry
Okay. Let's see if I can review this... this... uhh.. thing...
For the first thing, I personally feel as though it was a little too short. It could have been much longer, and much more thought out. I understand from the Author's Notes that the inspiration for this came from a picture you found on Google Images, and while random bursts of inspiration like that don't really leave you with much to work with, I still would have liked to see more.
Second, your writing style leaves a lot to be disired. There weren't any typos that I could spot on my read-through of this story, but the story just didn't flow smoothly. Weather it was the pacing, or the fact that really the story leaves the reader unsatisfied. Neither pony in this gets to orgasm, having been interrupted by Spike, who I believe was an unnecessary and very much, afterthought addition. The only way I could really see Spike actually working in this story would be if they got him to join in their sexual act. Maybe to give them leverage to black-mail him into not telling Twilight, or to put him in such bliss that he wouldn't want to tell Twilight. Both ways would have extended the story another few paragraphs, and would have closed the story much better, than just leading the readers on like you were, and then leaving them hanging.
As for Characterization, I really didn't feel as though any of the characters really fit into their pre-determined characteristics. Rarity would never have been this forward and particuarlly not with her own sister. Now if it was Sweetie Belle that initiated the sexual contact, rather than Rarity, it might have been a little different. Say that Sweetie is starting to get a little sexually curious, and Rarity not really knowing how to explain it to her, after much thought finally decides, begrudgingly to show her, and then starts to enjoy it.. That would probably make a little more sense character wise.
The overall feeling I get from this story is rushed. I feel as though you spent no real time on planing or writing this story at all, and just saw the picture (Which I'm assuming is the cover art) and quickly wrote down what you thought would go with it, and you then uploaded it to FimFiction.
There is very little that's positive that I can say about this, so I'll just say this.. I hope that your writing improves, and that in the future, you'll take more time and think a little more about the stories that you write.
Alright. I've had my say.. Whether or not you agree with what I said, that's up to you, but this review is already half the length of the story it's reviewing, and I also now have to take care of this annoying boner, so I'll take my leave now. Adieu.
what the hell did you type into google images to get something to inspire this????
4758385 Yeah not the best. I'll be sure next time to put a lot more thought. And yeah most of that is true
And wow I should have thought about that! Dangit oh well theres always next time xD
Damn cliffhangers!
It gave me a boner, but I didn't enjoy it
I call cruel and unusual punishment.
Not trying to be rude or anything but...This was well one really Quick retarded(How it was written and all)And sorry again no hard feelings but it seems as if though a regular average kid wrote this after seeing his/her first pornography or something of the related.It also had pretty bad grammar errors through out the story and etc.Well im really not saying this to criticize the story but the author(In a good way as to trying to help them get better and learn from there mistakes and flaws,etc.Well thats what i mostly have to say about this.
well at first i was like
then i was like 
but then i got a boner after that i was like 
i feel dirty and unclean this seemed a bit rushed but i did get a good laugh out of it
Honestly i wish there wasn't this cliffhanger now im unsatisf
Just normal doing some private stuff and then, just for that there has to be somedragon just comming in and up without any permission.
it's funny how they react
4891054 Lel
4747016 that's what Spike probably did.
4915121
Probably
Dear Celestia.........WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYy???????????????
4874129
BRO! I SEEN THAT PIC FOR YOUR PROFILE! THAT ARTIST IS REALLY GOOD!!
Is he YOU?
Well, this had an ok premise until I noticed the absolute murder of commas and past/present tense words.....
it was so hot..... but the errors and lack of a good flow left my dick in a constant state of "ohh, I'm hard agai--- and there's another out-of-place comma.... time to stop and figure out what this sentence means... and its hot again! But fuck, analizing the meaning of the last sentence left me not hard anymore.... hurry up, get hard! It got hot again! I'm hard now and there's another use of the word token instead of taken." rinse and repeat.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/353/279/e31.jpg
please do a sequel where all three of them have sex.
I find it really weird how you felt the need to claim to not like any of the contents of your own story in the description, especially since it doesn't say it was a commission or written for anyone else.
I mean go ahead and keep doing that if you want, it just seems really peculiar, even if it's a joke, to word it like that.