• Member Since 6th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen January 25th

Sphinx_Herald


I'm a simple college student in Canada who likes to write about ponies.

T

Nova, a young pegasus mare decides it is time to return to Equestria after years of self exile. She carries a dark past that, no matter how hard she tries to hide it, always seems to come back. Now she arrives in the small town of Ponyville hoping to pay off some old debts. She's determined to make up for her past, while stopping her history from repeating.

No one must know the monster inside...

Chapters (18)
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Comments ( 72 )

I would like to read another chapter soon. :twilightsmile:

5451518 Good to know somepony liked it. I was a little worried about how well ponies would take to it, but it seems to be going well so far. There probably won't be another chapter anytime this week, maybe next week. Anyways, hope you enjoy the upcoming chapter. Until next time,
-Sphinx

More please

5633538 By Khonus' mercy! I said that I had just finished that one, give me a breather. I'm kidding, I'm fine. I already have the basic idea set up, I just need to start writing now. Anyways, glad you enjoyed it. Until next time,
-Sphinx

P.s. thanks for the comment.

Navo

I think this is a typo. first word of the chapter.. Not to be a grammer nazi or anything.

5870876 Thank you for the catch. I don't pride myself on perfection.

An interesting story. Id like to see more into Novas back-story as to who the voice is, and what is the cause of her powers. But that's just me. A good read.

5872381 P-powers?! Who told you about the powers! Tell me who your informant is! Er... I mean what powers :trixieshiftleft:

But, don't worry her backstory comes a bit later. Until next time,
-Sphinx

But we did I leave her?

an akward sentance

“No one, is going to the the princess anything!”

Is going to tell the princess?

These were the only 2 typos I found. All in all though a good chapter. Was abit of an emotional rollar coaster. and that cliff hanger was a good one. Cant wait to see the next chapter.

5932613 I see mine certainly is an awkward sentence.

The mistakes should be exterminated. Glad that you're enjoying it so far, hope you keep finding as such. Thanks for pointing out the mistakes by the way. I kinda ran out of proofreader on my previous story and have gotten used to doing it myself, always nice to have a second opinion! Anyways, the next one is in writing. Might take a while since college is staring to be really taxing, but I'm so close to being done! Until next time,
-Sphinx

5933077 Yeah I hear ya. I got finals next week too. but yeah its no worries Ill spot them as I see them

Yeas, very glad indeed.

5962085 Good to hear it. More chapter should be on the way, but I can't give any specific date. Until next time,
-Sphinx

By dancing a jig!

6060856 Ah yes, of course it's all so simple now. The ancient and time proven method of showing your intentions, by dancing a jig. It would be rather interesting to watch a pony do a jig though. Until next time,
-Sphinx

Kix

Nova seems like an interesting char, sounds pretty close to my Moonshade OC, after reading just this chapter its made me wonder what would happen if those two were to meet up.

"Bring us the girl, and wipe away the debt."

6389690 Close, but not quite. And if I can start writing again, you'd see... Anyways, glad you're liking it. Thanks for the comment, and fav. Until next time,
-Sphinx

6389919

You're welcome. This is turning out to be much more entertaining than I expected.

That quote about a girl and debts is from Bioshock Infinite. I kept thinking of that as I read about Nova having a debt to pay.

Noticed a possible typo:

“Guess I must be. I’m Nova Firehearth, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Nova gives a little bow, but stands up as she starts to lose balance.

Is it Firehearth, Hearthfire, or is she lying to them?

6390055 Thank you for catching that.

Can you...um...start writing in past tense, please? Present tense is really annoying for me to read...Still, keep up the good work!

6397513 I'm afraid I can't. Already the whole thing is written in present tense and it would be just a massive headache to change all of my written chapters to past tense. Also, it would throw off the story a bit. Again, as of yet, the entirety of it has been written in present and would look odd if I were to suddenly change to past. And finally, this is my style of writing, this is the way I have grown used to writing. Actually, I'm not sure if I'm even good at past tense anymore. Anyways, sorry but I can't change the tense of the story. Until next time,
-Sphinx

Kix

6397523 Oh shit, this ain't good, not good at all, atleast Nova didn't burn the place down, though how Twilight will get to talk to her again should be interesting

I think Nova will have a few choice words for Twilight when she gets back to the hospital.

6397853 Hopefully it'll only be words this time. If not... well it's a good thing they're in a hospital. Until next time,
-Sphinx

more please!

6398537 I shall attempt, but it may take a while. However, there will be more! Until next time,
-Sphinx

Loving the story so far.:scootangel:

6402887 Thank you very much, glad you're enjoying it. It's comments like this that make it so much more fun to write. Until next time,
-Sphinx

"Your friend woke up."

Well, that's one way to put it.

Fluttershy now has even bigger cahones then before:yay:; and they were pretty big to begin with.

Comment posted by Marisher deleted Oct 2nd, 2015

Hey, just wanted to say that i really enjoy the story. I'll be looking out on my feed for it. Until next time!

6559851 Well, thank you. Haven't actually had a comment like that yet... Well, glad you enjoy it. And thank you for the fave. Until next time,
-Sphinx

She opens her eyes, there is a slight ringing in her ears.Flames climb the walls and block the door.

Missing a space there.

Not a bad start to story. Nova seems awfully grumpy about something.

Her wing flap a little trying to loosen the sore muscles

Missing an 's' at the end of 'wing', I think.

She looks around at the, the square is filled with ponies

Eh?

Story is getting interesting. Seems to be another entity in her head, which she apparently blames for her misfortune.

Also, Derpy, yay! Nova might just have a job is she does well.

The clouds overhead glow red red as fire rains down like water.

Repeated word.

She know this city, the capital of Equestria, Canterlot.

Missing an 's' at the end of "know", I think.

“She was your friend how can you say that about her?”

Comma after "friend"? Also maybe add an exclamation point at the end too?

Some of the foals, an orange pegasus with a purple mane and a white unicorn

You tell the mane color of the pegasus, what about the unicorn? Also, I think "A couple" would be better in place of "Some".

Heh.. :twilightsheepish: I hope you don't mind me pointing out all the mistakes I notice. Jus' tryna help. :pinkiesmile:

“Nah, she said she had word to tend to. Do ya need her help with anythin’?”

Do you mean "work" instead of "word"?

Are you sure you’re okay, it can always wait till another day.

Pretty sure "'til" is short for "until" and not "till".

Another interesting chapter. More nightmare plagued dreaming. Why isn't Luna handling the nightmares? Is both the cause of the nightmares and why Luna can't help Nova because of the entity in her head?

Nova finds an "old friend", in which they seem to have an interesting relationship with each other.

6575863 Right, fixed the ones you pointed out. Asides from the exclamation point one, I mean it should be fairly obvious she's a little angry. That, and I find I use it pretty often in my writing. Also, no, I don't mind you pointing out all of my mistakes. I kinda don't have a proofreader, so whatever I don't see stays in the chapter. It's rather helpful, honestly.

Well, glad you're liking it so far. Hope the all those really same mistakes didn't put you off too badly. Until next time,
-Sphinx

You’re here because you… uh. She narrows her eye at nothing in particular.

Missing an 's' at the end of "eye"?

Nova gets back onto her hoove with a groan.

Missing an 's' at the end of "hoove"?

Ohh, this is getting really interesting now that she's met Luna and it turns out Luna has actually seen her nightmares.

She looks back at the build and then at the sign in front of it.

Missing an 'ing' after "build"?

A plate of pancakes is placed on a part of the table that isn't cover with books.

Missing an 'ed' after "cover"?

Beside wouldn’t anyone be scared if they met a princess?

Missing an 's' then comma at the end of "Beside"? Also, "anypony" instead of "anyone"?

Fluttershy, saw how hurt she is and said she should go to the hospital.

Unneeded comma after "Fluttershy"?

Nova just glares at Rainbow and uses the distraction to push her way the the pegasus.

"-to push herself away from the other pegasus."?

With a defeated sigh Twilight walks to the door.

Maybe "entrance" rather than "door"?

Things are getting even more interesting, finally going to get some answers. Hopefully.

Gotta feel bad for Nova and her situation. :fluttershysad:

6576261

This beard is glad to help! I might even be willing to provide my services as a proofreader for you. :pinkiehappy:

And I don't mind the random typos, they aren't too bad. I've seen way worse. :twilightoops:

She sighs and takes a sips from her cup

Unneeded 's' after "sip"?

a small stream of smoke flaring out of her nostrils.

Smoke? Or do you mean steam? Usually ponies don't breathe smoke, but I suppose being who she is...

A paths cuts through the undergrowth,

Unneeded 's' at the end of "path"?

Oh, that from an island in the Carriagebean.

Missing a " 's " at the end of "that"?

She swallows a nervous lumps and marks it down on the notepad.

Unneeded 's' at the end of "lump"?

Finally got some answers, and interesting answers those were.

Also, funny/worrying ending. Wonder what Nova is doing up there..?

6578940 Thanks for catching those. And yes, I do mean smoke, she's not exactly normal after all.

6581190

Yupers! :pinkiehappy:

And I figured, just wanted to make sure.

6713012 She sleeps and hides inside. There's not much that she actually does during winter.

Found the perfect theme (in my eyes).

6841149 I must say, this is quite nice. I tend to listen to music, no genre in particular, because my friend has a fascination in music. Might as well add this to the little collection of songs.

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