• Member Since 7th Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen May 11th, 2015

DashieReviews


I can review your stories and write ones on your request of category

E

Applejack always sat and wondered about were her hat came from.
Was it made by someone?
Did it fall from the sky?
Or did she buy it from the market and not remember?

Well, this is what she was told

~~~~~~

This is the second story of my Slice of Six series

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 9 )
aCB

Applejack had always wondered about were her hat had came from.

You mean "where"? If you mess up the grammar on the very first sentence, chances are you didn't put very much effort into your fic (and didn't bother to ask around for a proofreader), and chances are people aren't going to read much further into it. :applejackunsure:

4418804 Hey butt out buddy :twilightangry2: so a mistake was made

We all make them.

aCB

4419453
I apologize. I didn't mean to infer that this was the only grammar error--there are lots of them. Improper grammar is the number one reason your story will get a poor response. Next time, he should try getting an editor. There are groups here that will help you with that.

4419652 Um... Guys, DashieReviews is a girl... :facehoof:

aCB

4419735
Since she doesn't have her gender on her user page, I didn't know. 80% of bronies are male, so I went with the more likely pronoun. Pardon me. :pinkiesmile:

This reviews is brought to you on behalf f the group Authors Helping Authors
Grammar: 8
Pros:
Finally someone provides a decent explanation of the hat!
The story manages to stay funny throughout.
Granny Smith is well written in character
Cons:
The dialogue for Applejack seemed to go a bit excessive on the southern drawl, with uses in places where it usually isn't used.
The pacing of the story felt a little rushed, but its to be expected from a story as short as this.
Notes:
This is an interesting take on the origin of Applejack's hat. The choice to have the story told by Granny Smith was a bit risky, but you managed to make it work. Overall, a good story that I enjoyed.

My favorite story for this was told by a short comic.

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