Rainbow Dash is Pinkie Pie's best friend, they tell each other everything, and they know everything about each other. Or so Rainbow thought.
One night, while stargazing together, Pinkie Pie reveals a big secret she has been keeping for most of her life to her best friend.
[NOT a shipping story]
Inspired by this picture.
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This story made me quite numb. That is neither bad nor good...Just powerful... it makes me wish to beet her dad senselessly with no restraint of his crys for help or pain. It makes me wants to chain him to a wall and force him to never sleep. Never have anything. To have his daughter, pinkie, come into his room (Him still chained) and fly around the rooms tortuously close to him.
4186838 This makes me happy
4186840
Oh my god I'm crying!
Make it stop!!
I read the first five stanzas so far, and something tells me Pinkie had wings, but lost them for some reason.
And now I'm sad.
...and that, boys and girls, is why Pinkamena makes cupcakes.
No... No, no no! I knew it was going to happen, yet I cried.
Oh no, Pinkie, I'm sorry... I'm sorry...
Not gonna waste time with words.
Could have been very powerful, but it was way too rushed.
HES DEAD! EVERYONE GRAB YOUR PITCHFORKS!
On a serious note you sir are freakin brilliant i mean i am glad i am not the only one who thought Pinkie is half pegasus or has pegasus blood in their headcanon.
I just don't know what to say, wonderfully written, and so sad. I want to beat Ingeous senseless with his own rocks.
4187609 I actually found this headcanon randomly on the internet and thought it made a lot of sense.
Also, thank you!
4187651
You are more then welcome!
the story doesn't make much sense. A sister as devoted (and powerful) as Maud would rush Pinkie Pie right out of that house as soon as possible.Who keeps the picture of the individual that mutilated her? I like the idea of Pinkie Pie secretly having hidden pegasus powers but this story isn't realistic.
A few errors I spotted:
This doesn't make sense. Should be: "What? No I'm not."
Spitfire
You won't
Very well known in their area
Their rock farm
It had been
in their hooves
parents would (no capital letter needed)
Igneous (capital letter needed here)
Diane
instant
She had gone too far.
she'd
needs a space
session brought
no capital needed for "smiled"
happily
she'd
in front
Pinkie's thoughts need some sort of formatting, like italics or singular quotation marks.
desperately
she had never been hugged
birthday
Limestone
backing
before
killing
had become
had been
, which her father forced her to do
heard
onto the ground
OR
to the ground
denied
doctors
heard
believe. Remember, the best part of "believe" is the "lie".
Errors aside, this was a powerful and moving fic, and when the errors are fixed it will be more so.
4187035 and why she used Dash specifically. Did you see how many wings there were?
4187744 I ususally do my best to avoid making the "they're-their" mistake. I can't believe That happened. I feel so ashamed
4187783 it's all right, I assume you were in a rush and forgot to proofread or spellcheck properly.
4187744
I'm not the one who wrote this story, but if it were me, I would find it difficult to find every single one of those things, especially the ones like
You'd need to be a lot more specific. And yeah, just a few errors huh?
4187925 Well yes I know, (and the bottom part wasn't for me, it was for someone else) But I was just pointing it out when I saw the comment.
4187946 Oh, well alright than.
I didn't really have a problem with finding and fixing the errors, so no problem I guess?
4187787 Yeah, I'm a pretty impatient person
4188019
4187827 I'll edit the quotes to include some more context when I get up, I'm about to go to bed.
4188079 No, it's fine. I already fixed it.
That was sad.
But the "earth pony was secretly a Pegasus who got her wings removed" story plot had been done before with Apple Bloom. And the "Pinkie's parents/father were/was abusive" plot had been done already multiple times.
This story felt like it was trying really hard to make someone cry (it seems to have worked, given the comments) but it just feels a bit off to me. (Note: I did tear up a bit.) Why does everyone portray Pinkie's parents as screwed up? It just seems odd.
Also, it should probably have the "other" tag for pinkie's parents.
I feel really sad now.
Wow, first Unicorn Pinkie, only not this sad.
This, I will admit to crying during.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't shed a few tears. I really like this story. Keep writing.
You're a terrible person for writing this.
You are terrible for writing this...
...and I couldn't be more excited to see what else you write.
The canon names for her parents fit into this story. remarkably well. Igneous sounds pretty close to Ignoramus, and there are too many imperfections to see a good image through Cloudy Quartz.
Somehow this was one of the first things I noticed.
Did anypony tell the authorities about what the Pies did? I'm not sure if Pinkie would have, but maybe Grandma Pie? Giggle at the Ghosties sounds like nothing that Pinkie Pie's immediate family would endorse. Maud, or maybe Rainbow Dash?
4189268 IKR?
Tearjerker
There should be a Epilogue to this (I remember there was a story related to this except it was AppleBloom instead. But Twilight cast a spell recreating her wings. And in the end, AppleBloom was writing journal entry's to herself)
Pacing was good, and you really can sympathize with Pinkie thanks to it. The sheer anger and frustration I felt, as the reader, towards the father was genuine. I commend you on able to induce an emotional response (although for me it isn't that hard, I get easily carried away with a story).
As a fair word of warning, you've done marvelously so far. If you do venture to add another chapter, please keep to your rhythm. It would be a waste to spoil just a decent story but betraying your abilities in the previous chapter. Just my $0.02.
4190810 I have this story in my 'Read later' list.
You just sort of spoiled it for me... Guess that's what I get for having it there for so long and not reading it...
4190810
do you happen to know the name of that story? i really want to read another story like this!
4191727 well the only thing in common was realizing a earth pony was really a Pegasus. The story is called Apple Pedals.
4191924
thanks ^w^
4191927 no problem :3
4191924
second thought
can you send me a link please i keep typing it into google but can't find it
4191939 I'll try...
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/172565/apple-petals
Whelp. . . . .(Grabs giant knife) time to climb into the story and beat the living shit out of her father, mother, and Limestone for being racist emotionless peices of whorse shit.
wow this is a good story
Great story man! Better than what I do!
4192898 Wow, really?
Thank you so much.
Though I honestly think your story's a bit better.