Derpy goes on a date with Rainbow Dash. It could have ended better.
Chapters (1)
Fonypan
Joined 7th May, 2013 ·
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>rated everyone
>Rainbow dies
Seems legit.
4078679 haha yup.
4078720
Applejack, what's the scouter say about this story power level?
4078914 its... IT'S OVER 9000!!!1!!11!
4078951
9000! But that's impossible!
4079062 Aaaarrrgghhh
4078679
Clearly you haven't watched the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.
I... wow... um... that came out of nowhere. I'm honestly not sure whether to downvote or upvote this. This story in a little over 1,000 words completely shocked me. The chapter title I think is a bit of an understatement. I don't see why it has so many downvotes though. I also don't see any direction this story could go from here. It was well written for cramming a backstory and a whole series of events in the span of a 3 minute read, but that's kinda the end to the story, unless there's slice of life stuff afterwards (meh, but would give some more reading time). It would be cool to see this rewritten into a 5 or 6 chapter story, maybe 2,000 words a chapter, just to better explain how, where, why, and when they met and the dynamics of their relationship. For what it is at this moment, it is actually quite well written. However, the end (Warning! Spoiler:Dash's death) was a bit rushed. If Rainbow Dash was substituted with a random OC with a similar personality, she wouldn't have had enough emotional buildup to make an impact on the reader, but because Rainbow has emotional buildup via the shows, the end does have a small impact. That's why there needs to be more on the background of their relationship.
I hope that rambling helped.
4085313
I understand that its a bit short, I suffer from chronic writer's block. It was originally supposed to be a tragic comedy, but as I wrote it, the tone just didn't feel right.
But I might have an idea for a sequel in mind. And if you can catch the hint I already placed in this fic, props to you.
4079062 Guys, you're too funny; please stop.
idk why this has such a low rating. its not that bad. i found it kinda funny tho I can already guess what was gonna happen.
seems kinda hard for such an object to to that
4102923 Shh...
I realized that about four sentences into righting this story... but I'm not very creative.
4103116
opps that was suppose to be hidden but didn't work. I edited it. how do you make text do that?
4104043
like this
[spoiler ]like this[ /spoiler]
This.. actually hit close to home than most sadfics ever did. To be fair though, everything did went wrong and we might just see a grey pegasus dangling down a tree a few weeks after this event...
Aaaaaand I just made it a lot more depressing... or funnily depressing... Furessing?
4150577
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/1/9/519569__safe_solo_derpy+hooves_funny_fail_hanging_suicide_we+are+going+to+hell_noose_dark+comedy.png
4150595
I love you
It's... I don't even know what to say about this. It was good, interesting even. I didn't hate reading it, but it feels wrong to say I enjoyed it. It was surprisingly sad for such a short and simple story. I guess some more development and background might have been effective at filling out the story and also would have added to the shock/sadness at the end. I can somewhat understand where the downvotes come from (Dashie dies, and a bit abruptly at that) but I still think this is worth my upvote and favorite.
Wow, Ditzy, it really went wrong that time, didn't it?
Things ah learned from this story:
The "tragedy" and "comedy" tags have really similar colors.
7206289 Unfortunatly.
I guess in the back of my mind I always knew that "screw-up Derpy" (one of many iterations of the character) would one day really hurt someone by accident, but it's not something I expected to read about. Can't say I liked it. That being said, the writing was solid as was the plot, so I'm not going to blast this with a downvote.
The end caught me completely off guard. Only now noticed the Tragedy tag.