Romance by Correspondence
The Salt Block, the only saloon in Appleloosa, never closed, but its owner liked to catch a bit of shut-eye, and he would clearly have preferred it if the last few occupants of the bar went home. A large white bison snoozed by the fire, and two stallions sat at a circular wooden table, now scattered with empty brown bottles and rectangular wooden plates, salt still clinging to the edges. One, rangy and tan, curly-maned and wearing a serape, leaned back in his chair, whistling and pushing another chair back and forth with one hoof. The other, more solid one was face down on the table, salt in his blond mane and creases on his cheek where it had been pressed against the wood.
“Another saltlick,” moaned the blond-maned stallion.
“I think you’ve had enough for tonight, mister.”
He lifted his head up, salt dropping off his jawbone, snarling, “I said, gimme another saltlick!” slamming his hoof on the table, and then dropping his head back with a thud.
“Just get him another,” murmured Cheese Sandwich, with a meaningful glance at the barpony. “Braeburn here’s had a long day.”
It had been lucky that Cheese Sandwich had been between gigs when Braeburn’s letter caught up with him. Normally, he criss-crossed Equestria as Cheesy Sense dictated, and went where he liked in between. Lately, he’d been obliged to return to Ponyville on a regular basis, because his party pony magic had become fused to Pinkie Pie’s in a way that even Twilight Sparkle hadn’t been able to explain. He probably went back more than he needed to, strictly speaking, but you couldn’t be too careful.
He’d just been thinking that while it was nice to have some free time for a trip to Ponyville, he’d just been there, and it was going to be tough to come up with a legitimate excuse, even to himself. Braeburn’s letter asking him to come back to Appleloosa and organize his wedding couldn’t have been better timed. He wasn't usually asked to plan weddings, but a party was a party, and how different could it really be?
Cheese much preferred traveling by hoof, just him and Boneless 2, slipping into boxcars or rafts as the mood took him. He liked the flexibility, and it usually meant that he turned up exactly when he was supposed to be somewhere. As he got closer to Appleloosa, he became conscious of something blatantly missing: his Cheesy Sense. At first, he panicked and thought that maybe his party pony magic was going on the blink again, but nothing seemed wrong, just a stubborn lack of signal coming from Appleloosa. He shrugged it off, but he couldn’t mistake it, either. He was being asked to throw a party that his intuition somehow was not buying.
Still, he was happy to oblige a client, and maybe he could even think of Braeburn as a friend, since Braeburn stubbornly insisted that everypony was his friend, which was a rather endearing characteristic. He had hardly trotted over the town limits when a brown and blond bullet bowled him over and caught him in a strangling hug. “Welcome on back to Appleloosa, Cheese!” cried Braeburn, pinning him and sitting on his chest. “Betcha thought you’d got away from us, partner!”
Cheese wheezed, “Get off. You’re really heavy.”
Braeburn jumped up and grinned as Cheese pulled himself to his feet and began to brush off the red dust clinging to his serape, his saddle, and even his mane. Clearly, Braeburn had taken no offense; he never did. “Just so doggone glad to see you! You may have snuck out on us last time, but not this time. We’ve got a big job for you, or I should say I do. Heck, I guess we all do! Whole town’s invited to the wedding. Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Oh, right, thought Cheese, as the oxygen returned to his brain. Wedding. That’s right, Braeburn’s getting married. “Congratulations. Are you going to introduce me to your fiancée?”
“Nope! Haven’t even met her yet myself!”
Cheese’s jaw literally dropped. When he was able to form words at all, he simply said, “What?”
He really wished Pinkie Pie were there. Of course, he almost always found himself wishing Pinkie were with him, just on general principles, and because she was his best friend, and um, whatever, but this time he wished she were there because a major friendship situation was blowing up that was way above his skill level. Braeburn clearly misunderstood the source of his astonishment, because he grinned again and hugged him around the shoulders, and then began dragging him towards town.
“There just aren’t enough eligible fillies in Appleloosa, compadre. That’s my trouble right there. My cousin Applejack from Ponyville, she came by a good long time ago to bring me a prime apple tree: Bloomberg, my pride and joy. I’ll introduce you later. She brought her five friends along, and you’d a thought something would click with just one of ‘em, wouldn’t you? There was this pink one—"
“Not the pink one,” Cheese blurted. “Um, no, the pink one is nothing but trouble. Plus she’s got a big, mean, scary boyfriend. You would not have wanted the pink one. Trust me.”
“Plus she talked a lot, as I recollect. That can sure get on a pony’s nerves after a while. Plus she had terrible taste in music. Then there was the dance hall girl outfit.”
Dance hall girl outfit?
“As Cousin Big Mac says, ‘ee-nope.’ So I was cudgeling my brains trying to figure how in the hay I was gonna meet a nice filly, when Sherriff Silverstar pointed out an ad in the Western Hay, Grain, and Feed. Seems they got a column for gentlecolts and fillies looking for romance. No funny stuff, mind you,” Braeburn added, giving Cheese a narrow-eyed look.
“I didn’t say anything!” protested Cheese.
Braeburn got behind Cheese and pushed him the rest of the way to town, collecting sagebrush, tumbleweeds, dust, and a few irritated lizards along the line. Finally, Braeburn let him go in front of a one-story building that did multiple duty as Braeburn’s office, seed shed, bedroom, kitchen, and the local Chamber of Commerce.
“Make yourself at home,” said Braeburn. “She’s not due till the noon train, so pull up a feed sack and I’ll put the coffee on and I can tell you all about her!”
And tell about her Braeburn did, as Cheese munched his way through half a dozen cinnamon rolls, mostly to keep his mouth occupied. How she’d responded to his ad. How warm she was, and how much she knew about fruit trees, and really seemed to care about them in a way he’d never seen outside his kinfolk. How great it was to get a letter every couple of days bulging with news and stories, and tons of support, because it could be tough sometimes, keeping up a bright face in a frontier town where everypony expected you to see the sunny side of everything. And how funny she was, after having been through more herself than seemed possible. She was just meant to be the wife of an orchard manager, and he’d gotten up the guts to pop the question by mail, and after a bit of persuasion, finally she’d given him a tentative “yes.”
Cheese felt the bottom of his stomach drop out like a grain elevator. It had nothing to do with Cheesy Sense or Pinkie Sense or anything but good old-fashioned horse sense: this wasn’t going to end well. He opened his mouth several times to tell Braeburn that he was not getting a party signal and a party signal he wasn’t getting was a party that wouldn’t be happening, but every time, he changed his mind and just bit down on another cinnamon roll.
The shrill whistle of an engine speeding its way towards Appleloosa cut into Braeburn’s monologue. “Just about time for her to get here!” he cried. “We better head on down to the station. Take your last look at Bachelor Braeburn, Cheese, because he’s never coming home.”
There was almost no one else on the platform as they stood there waiting for the train to pull in, Cheese fidgeting while Braeburn, bouncing with excitement, hoofed him repeatedly in the foreleg. As the engine rolled to a halt and the doors opened, an unmistakably mare-shaped form stepped down from the first class car. The steam rolled back to reveal a mare in a traveling cloak, with a brilliant white coat and a blazing red mane and tail. As she trotted towards them, her perfume hit them first in a deep, rolling wave. Cheese snatched off his hat and coughed behind it surreptitiously. She stopped just short of them, allowing her hind legs to swivel her forward into a dramatic pose, one hoof tip barely touching the ground.
“Are either of you,” she said in a deep alto, glancing back and forth at each of them from under darkened eyelashes, “Mr. Lonelyheart?”
Cheese shook his head in a rapid blur and jabbed his hoof frantically at Braeburn, who gulped and nodded, snatching his hat off as well. “Miss-–Miss Lovestruck?”
She threw back her head and laughed. “Lovestruck! Now that won’t do at all, will it, using our pen names, if we’re going to get to know each other better? Cherry Jubilee,” she said, lifting up a brightly polished front hoof, as though she expected it to be kissed.
“Braeburn,” muttered the blond stallion, taking her hoof and dropping his head over it. She withdrew her hoof and placed it on the ground, retreating a step or two as she looked Braeburn full in the face.
“Goodness,” she said, “you’re a bit younger than I’d imagined, Mr. Braeburn!”
Braeburn opened his mouth, closed it again, paused, and finally said, “I suppose I must be, ma’am.”
Cheese wanted no part of this. Braeburn had gotten himself into it, and as far as he was concerned, Braeburn could get himself back out. He stepped back and allowed himself a good long second look at Cherry Jubilee. Now that he thought about it, maybe her coat was a little whiter and her mane and tail a deeper and richer red than you saw on most mares. In fact, some might have said some unkind things about colors like that coming out of a bottle, but the point was that they were nice colors and she’d even picked them out herself. And sure, she looked as though she was fond of the occasional box of chocolate, but a lot of mares ate a lot of chocolate, he thought loyally, and it didn’t do them any harm that he could see, quite the reverse. Taken totally objectively, and as a neutral third party, she definitely had a certain barooomph. The real problem was that she wasn’t exactly what Braeburn had been expecting.
“I wouldn’t want you to . . . that is . . . well, you see, Mr. Braeburn,” she said, unnecessarily adjusting her pink neckerchief, “from your letters, you sounded as though you were so experienced a ranch hand and had been working with trees for so long that I naturally assumed . . .”
“Been working with trees since I was a little colt about that high,” said Braeburn, indicating his knees. “Hardly more than a foal, really.”
“I see. Well! Isn’t that nice!” she said with a brave little smile. “We can have a good long professional coze, can’t we?” she added, and tilted her head towards the doors of the train station.
“Oh, uh—after you, ma’am,” said Braeburn, gesturing for her to precede him, and looking frantically around to pick up and carry the luggage she hadn’t brought. He gave up, turned to Cheese with a wide-eyed stare that screamed Help me, and hurried after her. Cheese seriously considered looking for another way out, perhaps across the train tracks, but stopped when he heard Braeburn’s hysterical, “Let me introduce you to my friend. Miss Jubilee, Cheese Sandwich. He’s from Manehattan.” Now he was stuck, so he strolled forward with a wide super-duper smile that made his cheeks hurt.
“Manehattan,” said the elegant older mare, pressing his hoof between two of hers. “One of my distant cousins moved there some time ago. They have the dearest little filly, Cherry Blossom. Perhaps you’ve met them.”
Why was it, Cheese wondered with irritation, that everypony who wasn’t from Manehattan thought that everypony from Manehattan knew everypony else from Manehattan? There were entire neighborhoods he’d never even been to and probably wouldn’t in the foreseeable future. It might be home, but only technically. He never went there unless he had to. He couldn’t say that to her face, however. It was a lovely face, he realized, and would have been even nicer if she hadn’t put so much stuff on it, and that beauty mark was absolutely real, and he heard himself babbling something about how sorry he was, but he hadn’t. She smiled and turned away, and he took a deep, shaky breath and followed them towards the waiting room.
Braeburn held the door open, and Miss Jubilee rustled past him, her red and pink tail rippling. “Now you must tell me, Mr. Braeburn, how you shield the fruit from the frost. My poor cherries suffer so terribly from the frost.”
Braeburn stopped in his tracks so abruptly that Cheese bumped into him. “Ch-cherries?” he stuttered.
“Why yes,” she said with surprise. “I have a cherry orchard. It’s in my name. Cherry Jubilee.”
“Not---not apples?” Braeburn looked stricken to the heart.
“No. I see,” she said, after a long pause. “We’ve been writing about our trees, and seasons and pruning and harvest, and we simply never did mention what kind of fruit trees we had.”
Several ice ages came and went.
“Well! What a silly mistake on my part! I’m so sorry about the mix-up, Mr. Braeburn. Imagine not mentioning apples or cherries in my letters. I suppose Cherry Hill Ranch might be anything. It’s been a nice little day out for me. I’ll just make myself comfortable here in the waiting room, shall I? I’ve brought a good big novel with me, and I’d just gotten to a really thrilling bit, so I’ll be quite entertained until the return train comes around in several hours.”
Cheese knew what was coming next, and he dreaded it.
“Without seeing Appleloosa?”
There wasn’t much to see on one of Braeburn’s enthusiastic tours of Appleloosa, since the entire town consisted of only one street, and Cheese had been on it twice. There was a certain fascination in this one, however. Instead of excited babbling about some very ordinary high points, such as the flag pole and the post office, Braeburn provided a sparing and barely audible, “Well . . . some horses over there . . . and we got some more horses over here . . . and some trees,” while Miss Jubilee kept up a murmur of admiration. Braeburn was as easy to read as a coloring book. While Cheese supposed that was a good thing in general, in this particular case, he longed to yank him aside for a few quick lessons in good old Manehattanite insincerity.
Meanwhile, he became aware that he wasn’t exactly acting like his usual self, either. Instead of slipping through town with his hat canted down over his eyes, he was waving and smiling at everypony. They were coming out of shops and houses to say hello, and he was even able to put names to the faces. That never happened. He never went back or stayed anywhere long enough really to remember anypony. And yet, when a large lady bison who clearly knew him from somewhere advanced on him, he said unerringly, “Why, hello, Mrs. Tatanka. And how are all the little Tatankas? Six, aren’t there?”
“They’re all doing well, bless your heart for asking,” she replied, beaming at him.
“It’s Curly’s birthday next week, isn’t it?”
“Why yes, it is, Mr. Sandwich, but how did you remember a thing like that?”
How did I remember a thing like that? It wasn’t the sort of information his brain usually hung onto. He knew when he was supposed to throw a party, but that was pure Cheesy Sense. Otherwise, he only remembered a handful of important birthdays, like May 3rd.
“Lucky guess?” he ventured, with a nervous shrug, and then hurried after Braeburn and Cherry Jubilee.
“And this,” Braeburn was saying, “is the most important part of Appleloosa—our apple orchards.”
Braeburn was always a little different at this point of the tour, Cheese remembered; less boosterism, and a lot more love.
“Would you believe that none of this was here just a few short years ago, ma’am? No town, no settlement, and no apple trees. Now we’ve got ‘em as far as the eye can see. Good ones, too, with nurslings from back East. Even Sweet Apple Acres can’t say they’ve got better. And it’s been hard times, sometimes, just like I told you in my letters. You were saying frost—well, we had a winter nearly killed all our trees and us with ‘em; six solid months before the Pegasi got through. Terrible troubles with our bison neighbors, and now we live in Appleloosa like friends and kin. I know I’m just a big optimist, and some even think I’m a fool, but I’m awful proud of everything we built here. I just don’t know if I could live nowhere else in Equestria.”
Cherry Jubilee stood silhouetted against the red rock cliffs, clutching her traveling cloak. The wind must have picked up, although Cheese couldn’t feel it himself.
“I envy you, building all this up from nothing. I inherited my ranch from my family. I grew up running under those branches and bucking the fruit so it wouldn’t bruise. It takes a delicate hoof to do that. Have you ever seen a cherry orchard, Mr. Braeburn? I look at your apple orchard, and all I see is my own at home, waiting for me, with its shiny trunks and the pink blossoms in the springtime. I really wish you could have seen it.”
The three of them stood there for what seemed like a long time, as the sun slowly sank and turned the sky gold and pink, and streaked through with red as dark as Cherry Jubilee’s mane and tail. She was the first to turn away, laying her hoof on Braeburn’s shoulder.
“I think the Dodge Junction train must be nearly here. May I ask you to escort me to the station?”
“It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Sandwich. I’m sorry I couldn’t provide the excuse for a party this time, but I’m sure you’ll come our way someday soon, maybe for my niece’s cuteceañera.”
Cheese opened his mouth, but nothing came out but a gargling noise. She turned and patted Braeburn’s cheek with a shiny white hoof.
“Please don’t feel bad, Mr. Braeburn. These kinds of mistakes happen sometimes. You learn to brush them off as you get older. They simply don’t sting the way they used to. Thank you for showing me your town and your orchards. You really ought to be very proud.”
The train pulled in, she slipped onto it in a rustle of red traveling cloak, and then the train pulled away, taking her with it. It was bringing back memories for Cheese, and they weren’t especially happy ones.
And then Braeburn had grabbed him with an agonized howl, dragging him down to the Salt Block. That’s where they’d stayed for the whole night and into the wee hours of the morning, though Cheese had had the sense to switch to sarsaparilla early in the evening.
“—shoulda known,” mumbled Braeburn. “Thought was prob'ly too good t’ be true. But you gotta hope, y’know? ‘Cause she seemed so great in her letters ‘n all.”
Because she was great in her letters, you dolt, thought Cheese. Honestly. There was nothing wrong with Cherry Jubilee. True, she’d arrived in a package Braeburn hadn’t been expecting, but it wasn’t a bad package, definitely not. If Braeburn was destined to live on an apple farm and Cherry Jubilee was destined to live on a cherry farm, then that was that, and there wasn’t a lot anypony could do about it. Still, if it had been Cheese, he wouldn’t have let something like that stop him. Destiny, schmestiny, he’d have fought back and made it work. Lucky for him he didn’t have to deal with anything like that.
Ptesan-Wi, the great white bison, rose with heavy dignity from his comfortable chair by the fireside, and made his slow way towards the swinging doors. He paused at Cheese and Braeburn’s table, looking down with pity at the young stallion with his head pillowed on his front legs.
“We have a saying.”
“You do?” asked Cheese, feeling he would regret this.
“You can’t cure stupid,” said the white bison, and continued his exit.
“You got that right.”
Cheese was surprised to feel a very small but unmistakable twitch in his flank. It absolutely couldn’t be. A party? Now? He waited for a stronger, deeper spasm, something that would boot him off towards Trottingham or Fillydelphia, but instead, there was another very faint twitch, and then nothing. It was almost as though he were already at the party—a very, very small party. He leaned far back in his chair, teetering on two of the legs, staring at the ceiling as he tried to think what kind of party this could possibly be. His eye lit on Braeburn, licking feebly at his fifth block of the evening. All four legs of the chair thudded back on the floor.
“Oh, I get it!” cried Cheese, spreading his front legs wide. “It’s a pity party!” and he blew triumphantly on a noisemaker.
Braeburn muttered something and slid under the table with a crash, but Cheese was sure that Pinkie would have been very proud of him.
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I have to admit - this story is pretty good! You had me laughing at just the right times, and my reactions all the way throughout were nothing but positive. Your grammar is very good too, from what I can see. I liked the whole idea you had of a flunked marriage, and the cute little tidbits of Cheese Pie on the side was nice.
This made me smile, and was probably the best I've seen Cheese written in any story so far. The end, even though I got it before he did, was funny and gave me a nice big grin.
I'd love to see more of Cheese's adventures.
4066293 Thanks! The one tricky bit writing it was the contact embarrassment I felt for Braeburn. I almost didn't want to write those bits, and then I realized I had to.
4066522 *party horns*
BEST. COMPLIMENT. EVER.
I'm working on something, although I know it won't be everybody's dish, but the show writers definitely came up with an interesting character when they created Cheese.
Oh my god! Just last night I started a story with Braeburn and Cheese at the Salt Block! I... no words. Crap. Now I shouldn't bother trying to figure out what it's even about... I just felt the urge and a trickle of a beginning came out but for once I wasn't sure where it was going. Other than Braeburn is friends with Cheese.
But I'm gonna read this! So pleased! Your stuff is so much love...
Also I haven't had much sleep so I'm sorry if I sound stupid right now...
4067111 WRITE IT! AND I WILL READ IT!
No, I'm sorry if it scooped your idea! I don't know where this came from, other than Cheese dovetailing with an idea I'd had about Braeburn and Cherry Jubilee for a long time. He was sort of the perfect narrator. I was about to send you this and I even credited our conversation in my blog, so I do hope you're not annoyed.
Your fic doesn't have to line up with mine, and besides, Cheese has been to Appleloosa at least once, and probably more, and there's only one saloon, so who's to say he doesn't hang out with Braeburn there all the time?
Eeedge, sorry--I do hope it wasn't poaching, but I had a lot of fun with Cheese's response to Cherry Jubilee.
4067135
No no no no no! Not at all poaching! Also, I loooooved this so much! It was perfect! Cheese really was the best narrator for this!
Ahhh and the details. I loved the details. And Cheese's thoughts. And the whole way it fizzled. This was magnificent.
Oh man, as for mine, I dunno. I have a tiny bit done. I could show it to you, but I normally don't start writing until I have a stronger idea in mind. This time I just wanted "Cheese and Braeburn are friends" and so I really have no idea what I'm even doing. It's never a good way to go into something. I just really wanted a conversation, I guess, but I didn't get far before I got too tired and sort of ran out of inspiration for the night. I guess I'll give finishing it a shot but gah... I don't think it can compare to this. I'll try anyway.
4067169 Aw, I know what you mean. This popped up because I was trying to write a story with EG Flash Sentry as a narrator. I was trying to make him sound sensitive, and he was just coming out stoned. I'm going to muscle through it anyway, because there's going to be a fun bit and it's a setup for something else, but DANG, Flash is bland.I even tried reading other takes on him, including some great ones, but he just becomes mush when I try to write him. Cheese, I feel as though I could write all day.
And you were thinking of Braeburn as the level-headed one, weren't you? Totally different take.
4067220
True, true.
I know what I said, but I'm really thinking Cheese is the "normal" kind of weird, for lack of a better term. Pinkie is really out there sometimes but Cheese is the kind of guy you could maybe meet. That's not to say Pinkie isn't realistic, she is, but she's one in a million. Cheese is unique and unusual, but he's a less "head in the clouds" type? He's enthusiastic without always being bubbly. Pinkie smiles at weird moments and Cheese frowns at weird moments and they both do it, but more so as I've said. Or something. I'm not really sure. Pinkie is more drastic.
Cheese has strange hobbies and interests and a great sense of humor and he's a blast but Pinkie is without a doubt living every waking moment of every day to the fullest or at least she keeps telling herself that.
Crap, this wasn't even about Pinkie. Braeburn is just silly and I can see him being practical about living but not about enjoying life. Cheese is practical about enjoying life but not necessarily about living. I think that's how you portrayed it and I think that's about right.
And I like this dynamic. I'm betting there's a great amount of pivot between them when it comes to who is more rational at any given moment. Overall, I just hugely support the idea of Braeburn and Cheese as friends. Would you be willing to add him into Canterlot High? I just... it seems even better now. I can just see them screwing up and not even knowing how to explain it to one another and all sorts of slice of life and mild silliness.
On the up side for mine, though now I sort of regret it, I am writing from Braeburn's POV, so that should be interesting. (I think that may also be why I dunno where I'm going. I relate to Cheese twice as much. Braeburn is just enthusiastic about the results of hard work... but he's a sweetie.)
But I'm shutting up about that now.
Flash Sentry... yeah, I dunno. He is bland. He's kind of a generic blank slate dude.
Okay, here's how to spice him up. I'm pulling this out of my butt. Write him as if he were asexual. Like, I'm serious. I know it's gonna be teen at most, but I think that could be interesting. And maybe he isn't sensitive, he's just bored with life but objective and not looking to see the world burn. Maybe he's hoping there is more than life that he's not seeing? If he's human, maybe he just hit that time where the truth about adulthood is starting to filter through and he doesn't know what to think.
I'm sure none of that is fitting for his personality but uhhh... I got nothin' else except this random garbage I'm babbling at you right now.
Maybe you need a reason for why he's sensitive. After all, no one is sensitive without trying to be.
Last note: I loved loved loved Cheese's immediate reaction to Braeburn's mentioning of Pinkie. She has a big scary boyfriend... bwahahahaha. And of course Braeburn dismissed her pretty easily. He does not know... he does not see... the beauty that is Pinkie.
4067287 "Maybe you need a reason for why he's sensitive. After all, no one is sensitive without trying to be." AHA! I know now what I must do! Wrong narrator! I think this will fix it. I do have some ideas for Flash, and I'm quite sure it won't line up with canon eventually, as in soon. In fact, it is more or less making stuff up, but with Flash, what are you going to do? Anyway, he's not the main character. It's really EG Pinkie and Cheese.
Nopony fully appreciates the sheer genius that is Pinkie Pie, but no prophet is honored in his own land, and besides, Cheese is totally biased.
4067417
I'm glad I could help.
Pretty much. We know very little about him. I doubt diverting from canon is much of an issue.
Then why were you tormenting yourself by trying to write from his POV?
And that's also why they're both so awesome.
Also, if you've not seen this yet, I love it. This was what inspired me along all these trains of thought to begin with.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/2/3/542461__safe_pinkie+pie_braeburn_pinkie+pride_spoiler-colon-s04e12_cheese+sandwich_artist-colon-pasikon.jpg
The adorableness... and the teasing. I can't imagine it being anything else.
Also every image I've seen of him with more horse-like legs has been amazing. This needs to be a more common thing with MLP art. I have almost never seen any fanart like that which I didn't like. And I love the super cute and more show-accurate styles too.
Ironically, perhaps, I have yet to see a humanized pic of Cheese that I really liked. They either make him look too girly or the artist just doesn't pull off humans in a way that I care for. Which is a pity because I've seen some with him and cute human Pinkies that had great ideas but awkward technicalities of some sort or another.
I'm too picky... I've seen several of Pinkie on her own that were good. Just... for some reason all his best artists only draw pony, I guess. Not that I really mind. I just never expected that?
*stops rambling now...*
Just when I thought there were no good Cherry Jubilee fics, you write this. Excellent!!
This story was great! I loved it! And especially all CheesePie moments or rather hints.
Can you write more? That would be totally great!
Mmm....Cheese Pie.
4067552
You dont see to many human pics of CS cuz he is a ponyfacation of Weird Al
4070340
I like how you unintentionally insult my intelligence, but don't know how to spell the words.
I said I haven't seen many good human pictures of Cheese. That is because he isn't a pony version of Weird Al, he's strongly inspired by Weird Al. Presumably the artist doesn't want to their depiction of him to end up looking exactly like Weird Al, but then they screw up in other ways (and they generally screw up Pinkie too, so it's also a case of technical expertise in these cases as well.)
And that is why I said that I find it ironic.
I've seen good humanizations, but none of those were Cheese and Pinkie in the same picture.
4067552 I think--think, mind you--that the use of a different narrator will make sense in context, but I'm re-thinking it right now and we'll have to see, and anyway you can't know if something will work until you try it, right?
Normally I don't like the horsy style art so much, but it does look perfect on Braeburn, for some reason.
4067938 Aw, thanks! She's under-used, poor mare. I guess she probably doesn't get off Cherry Hill Ranch too much nowadays, although back in the day, whoo Nellie.
4068870 Welp, the plan is to do some EG CheesePie, so I think so: one short one-shot and a long runner.
4070004 Indeed.
4070383 And EG is its own thing, too: not just "human," but its own style. The body types are weird, and then there's the coloration, which on Cheese is (unfortunately? fortunately?) not nearly as weird as, say, Rainbow Dash's. I've noticed a ramping up of EG art, probably as a response to Rainbow Rocks coming out awfully soon. I've been a bit worried about putting a lot of effort into something that's about to get Jossed, but unless they decide to go into great detail about Pinkie having a canon boyfriend who is not Cheese, and they probably won't, I should be fine, maybe with some minor tweaks. There are some artists who have done nice EG art who just haven't gotten around to CheesePie. I've been collecting what I can--one really nice one, but clearly a wedding picture and not something I can use, and this, which I think is sort of cool (the eyebrow is right and the hair sculpt works for it, too):
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/3/5/567452__safe_rainbow+dash_pinkie+pie_humanized_gun_looking+at+you_weapon_scene+interpretation_pinkie+pride_cheese+sandwich.jpeg
Bonus points for Rainbow Dash standing back there looking like Miss M'arm. Plus, he looks like a smartass, because he totally is. EDIT: My theory is that the guns are the kind with the little flags that say "BANG."
I'm sure FillyBlue would do an AMAZING EG'd CheesePie, but she doesn't do commissions or requests and I'm not going to be an entitled fan about it. I'm not even going to ask, because I would not want to put her in the spot of feeling bad about saying no. She was nice enough to let me borrow her art for "Bombed," and that was more than enough. But if she did, I would jam money through the freaking screen, because if she can do Mare Cheese and Rainbow Power Cheese and Poison Joke Cheese'd Cheese, she could do a hay of an EG Cheese.
Not a bad fic I LOVE it
4071037
Fair enough! Feel free to PM me if you want any feedback. I'd be happy to help if possible.
This is quite true, although I've yet to see him drawn in the EG style (or if I saw it, I forgot about it.) I don't care for the EG style much, unless it is really well drawn. It looks too weird otherwise. But I've only seen people drawing him as a more traditionally styled human, so it wasn't because of that.
There were several I liked in concept but then I either didn't like the art style or it wasn't drawn that well or some other quirk ruined it for me. Of the two I kind of liked, one was sort of bland because they didn't get his hair quite right and the demeanor was too boyishly generic, but from a technical aspect it was great. The other had the right attitude, good pose, and made him look masculine without being beefy, but Pinkie looked like a child in comparison and his hair was just weird.
Yeah, I highly doubt they'll give her someone else. Even if they do, they won't really play it up very much so it's not as if you couldn't just make that an old boyfriend of hers and Cheese is her current one. I know what I said about discussing the whole "toss away pairing" approach, but in the circumstances where we don't even know the character, I don't really consider it an issue. I can't possibly imagine a brand new EG boyfriend character getting much screentime... Flash Sentry barely got any in the previous one and he had a role to play. This guy is doomed to be in the background even more. Even in these circumstances, to just ignore said character and not force another pairing on them is best. It's unnecessary and it can be assumed the guy will move on over time. The only reason for mentioning him dating anyone else would be if he broke up with Pinkie to be with said person and she's mentioning it because she's mad. It's kind of a non-issue, ya know? Not that I think you would, I'm just explaining my distaste for this concept.
However, I don't like the idea of Cheese being shoved off because we know him, we like him, and I feel it's more dignified to give him some proper attention if he's going to be brought up at all in a case where Pinkie is dating someone else or simply ignored for the most part (saying Pinkie liked him but it hadn't developed into anything so far.) Unless Cheese's interaction is an important plot point for the story, which I would like, it's kinder to let him be off on his own and doing whatever because he lives a life outside of Pinkie. If that makes any sense.
I realize in the Ron Weasley example it gets messier, but it's the same. If you have to do it, show the realistic ramifications on the friendships and such. Don't just shove them out of the way and pretend that puts an immediate band-aid on it. Better yet, make it in AU, if there's no getting around the pairing, the way there is with Cheese (since he's not officially with her yet.)
Er, but I'm getting off topic. I just like getting on my soap box sometimes and since we had this discussion before, I thought it was relevant to bring up here.
How did I miss this one? Oh well! This is now my current favorite.
He looks kinda young, but then they technically are. He could be taller/lankier with maybe a leaner face, but since it's a profile and he does have a rounder head overall (it's really only in the jaw and only sometimes pronounced) this totally works. Definitely best hairstyle thus far. The shading could use some work and maybe the curls are a tad funky on the side, but you're right. It works really well. And I love Pinkie! They got her hair just right and I love her expression, especially when combined with his.
I also love the guns... just realized they resemble their cannons! Bwahaha... definitely the kind that have little flags in them that say Bang! Or else spit streamers and confetti. And yeah, RD in the BG is fantastic bonus.
I actually really love the clothing. The shirts aren't what I'd expect them to wear, but anything else might have been too garish. I think my only real complaint is that I wish his belt/top of his pants were his fur color.
Sorry, I know it's not yours... I just analyze everything forever.
Agreed, I think she'd make an amazing pic of EG CheesePie.
Also... did you see the Alicorn Cheese? I died. He looks so happy.
Breaburn and Cheese being buddies fic? heck yes. Have I ever mention how much I love how you write Cheese Sandwich?
Cherry was also very lovely in this story
4081020 Thank you! I love writing him. I'm hoping I can keep him in character during the next project.
I was stunned to see that there weren't that many fics about Miss Jubilee. That seems a pity, since there's so much you could do with her. She has kin in Manehattan (admittedly, I made that up,) and plenty of previous relationships. I feel really bad for her here. Whatever she said to Braeburn, she knows probably that this was her last chance, and she clearly saw "you're too old" in his eyes. That's got to have hurt. In the unlikely event that Braeburn were to re-think this, I think she's been so hurt she wouldn't really be able to respond well, and besides, there's a very real age gap that probably wouldn't have been good. Cheese Sandwich, on the other hand, got the message loud and clear that Cherry Jubilee is one smokin' lady, and there he agrees with what her niece Cherry Blossom has heard about her (in another of my fics) that her Auntie Jubilee is the prettiest filly for miles around. Oh, well, you never know, Miss Jubilee. Where there's life, there's hope.
This was almost my idea for a Cherry x Braeburn fanfic....good thing I switched because you made this.
4086561 Aw. Well, the world definitely needs more Cherry Jubilee, so get crackin'. Considering how many fics there are of almost every Dash ship in existence, I think there's room for more Braeburn/Cherry Jubilee. But I'm glad you liked it!
4108194 I see you've used Cherry Blossom in another story.
4110203 Ee-yup! I like doing that kind of thing. I don't want it to be something where people have to know that, but it's fun for me and maybe fun for readers, too. Plus Dodge Junction is under-used, so why not?
4110342 I think it's wonderful.
*Grins and applauds* Very nicely done. I won't deny the ending made me groan and laugh. Definitely going to check out the sequel.
i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png
And have a like on top of that
4159473 Thank you! I'm really pleased about that.
4144283 Hope you like that one, too!
4159489
You're very welcome
HAH!
The levels of awkward in that one were terrific… and that second last line. Icing on the cake!
Hmm…
Huh. "Party of One" first aired April 29th. Close, but I'm not sure if that's what you meant or not.
In any case, a most enjoyable comedy of errors, with delicious CheesePie overtones. Thank you for it.
4526410 The Hub's actually posted a "Happy Birthday, Pinkie Pie!" message on May 3rd.
Thanks!
Congrats on the SA feature.
4526481 I was sitting here thinking ". . . Starswirl Academy?" and then I realized it was Seattle's Angels. My mind is blown. Wow. Thanks for letting me know.
quickmeme.com/img/d6/d6ea88d7e899e56ab3975a0e1e92800892fe147d15d498cf86bec0bf30f355ef.jpg
Interesting... Guess I'll have to check out the sequel. In the meantime, an upvote for you.
4526854 I got a Gatsby, too? Wow!
4529933 Thanks! I do hope you enjoy the sequel. Personal bias, of course, but it is one of my favorites.
Rather bittersweet, but Braeburn was rather naive during the whole thing.
This story was great. It had enough awkward moments and disappointment seeded within to make me feel sorry for Braeburn, but what made it really great was that little punch at the end (the "pity party" had me
).
Cheese Sandwich felt so... different in this fiction. He seemed more mature.
I like it. Even the goofiest characters need some serious moments.
Very interesting portrayal of Braeburn.
I find that I like - and pity the poor guy as he goes around being sweetly naive
Well worth reading.
It is nice to see that the Bison and Ponies live together in piece.
CheseSandwich develops an eidetic memory and the ability to do mental mathematics. I wonder what source of these abilities could possibly be.
It is too bad that it did not workout between CherryJubilee and Bræburn. 1 raises apples and the other cherries.
Fan-tastic!
I'm sorry to say that this story didn't really work for me, likely beacuse I was expecting something different.
I've never really gotten a feeling for what either Braeburn or Cherry Jubilee were like in their letters, so I wasn't actually able to compare that with the impression they then gave each other in person. That's where I expected the humor to come from.
5235283 Sorry it didn't work for you, but that wasn't really the point of the story. The story is intentionally an in medias res depiction of the failed meeting and the aftermath. It's even in the title: "Mr. Lonelyheart Meets Miss Lovestruck." I thought it was clear enough from the way Braeburn acts that his letters are an exact reflection of him, and that hers are more or less as he describes them. Adding the letters would have slowed things down, and wouldn't have made sense from the POV of the narrator (Cheese), unless Braeburn had dumped the letters in his lap and told him to start reading.
So again, I'm sorry it didn't please you, but I think it is because you were expecting something that it wasn't going to be.
5235357
I have to agree that adding the letters themselves would have slowed things down and wouldn't have made much sense, but I do believe there were other ways, and pretty natural ways at that, to introduce the audience to its contents. As I recall, Braeburn doesn't tell Cheese Sandwich much about the mare he is about to marry and we as the audience only get to know her from when she arrives by train. At the same time, I do believe it would have been perfectly natural for Cheese Sandwich to ask a little bit about Cherry Jubilee, as it was her wedding too that he was supposed to organize, and for Braeburn to answer him accordingly. I would say that would have been an opportunity to intrudice a summary of the letters if you had wanted to do so.
But about the content being clear enough, I strongly have to disagree with that. I'd say that the premise of the story stems from the fact that they both believe they painted a perfectly clear picture of themselves, but inadvertently distorted the other one's by adding their own expectations to it. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I would have liked to learn more about these expectations to really see how much they were belied.
Not bad ^^ i enjoyed cheese
That last line killed me, I couldn't stop snickering at the idea of Cheese throwing a legit "pity party."
5242876
5344450 Thank you!