• Member Since 23rd Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 17th, 2023

mooneyboys


just a simple writer with simple dreams: I want to have a story on the feature list. Oh and to influence someone's writing. I play battletech and serve House Kurita

T

Crossover with Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of sky
It is done. Dialga is sane and the time gears are safe on top of Temporal Tower. Jasmine (Eevee) and Curtis (Riolu) of team Dynasty just finished their final adventure and have to say goodbye. It has been months since Jasmine vanished and Curtis gets his chance to get his best friend back.

Meanwhile on another planet Jasmine wakes up to find that she is a stranger on a strange world. And to top it all off there seems to be some magical destiny deja-vu waiting for her and her best friend.

Well an explorer's job is never done, even in a strange world where most of its inhabitants practice friendship.... Most of the time.

Note

I don't own the cover image. Who ever drew the image wins my respect and a cookie.
Criticism WILL be appreciated so long as it isn't too extreme
Looking for a pre-reader and/or a proof-reader for any mistakes and/or errors this story will have
Big thanks to my Editor Classy Toad Haven't heard from him in a while, anyone know where he went?
and M Specter for pre-reading and helping me fix small details here and there

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 55 )

Just a heads up: you misspelled Dungeon in the story's title.

4064569

*Looks* oh hey you're right. Thats not good...... oops?

4064569

He made way more mistakes in the story Sevens. :raritycry:

I'm forcing myself onto you as your proofreader, this looks like an actually good Pokémon-in-Equestria story, and I'm not gonna let horrible spelling and grammar kill it.

Seems good so far.

“To be Honest I have no Idea. We’re just lucky we had stun seeds so we could heal ourselves.”

“I HATE THOSE THINGS! I AM DIALGA! MASTER OF TIME! I WILL NOT BE STOPPED BY A SIMPLE SEED!”

This had me laughing for a good while. Stun seeds OP.
Also I'd pre read for you.

4064629 I actually never read the story. I just dropped by to point that out.:pinkiecrazy:

Finally! I've been wondering when a mystery dungeon story would show up. :pinkiehappy:

PS: Haven't read the story yet. Just happy just someone is at least attempting this type of story.

4064634 4064629
Then i really hope you guys have a Google account (By the way thank you! :pinkiehappy:) I'll send the G-doc link in your guys' PM box. feel free to edit when necessary i write sporadically.

4064636

Slightly rude, but probably appreciated.


4064656

Yup, and for once I don't have to tell the author to completely redo the story because it was way to rushed, vague, and bland!

You have my attention...
Go on... Continue...

Ooo another Mystery Dungeon fic~ :pinkiehappy:
There need to more of these! xD

Anyway, after reading these I actually enjoyed how you approach this.
It's a nice and funny story (hehe stun seeds)
There's a few mistakes when you don't put capitals for "i"
Oh and it's nice to know I somewhat influence you~ :3
Keep up the good work.
(Also, I like how you mentioned Spike as a sableeye, it's brilliant!)

4071372
1. Literally how I beat Primal Dialga: Stun seeds. I didn't have any sleep seeds. But I had those and a pair of violent seeds.
2. And that's why I now have a editor :pinkiehappy:
3. It is isn't it? I hope I'll be able to do that for others like what your story did for me. Your story made me go and pick up EoS to go play it. Writing a story about it came later.
4. You're welcome to take the Sableye idea for your fic if you want. I would just like credit though :twilightsmile:

4130228
Hehe now your story gave me a bit of inspiration to continue my next chapter :yay:
Also, I can't wait to see your next chapter :pinkiehappy:
Oh and no thanks, I think I got another idea to describe Spike~ ^^

And what species do you have? Do you have several hundred different species able to reproduce with each other?

At her most powerful Celestia really is a goddess, although most of the time she's just a powerful magic user, but when the latter gets a god complex, mixed with a tiny bit of xenophobia, then you don't want to be anything from a world with real gods.

Awesome chapter!
I love how you written out the three legend conversation. xD

4177933
(Sorry it took so long to reply) wait I'm confused here. Are you saying the two cannot kick Celestia's if she decides to attack them, or they will? If its the former I would like to point out that they kicked the God of Time's ass and lived. Fighting someone/thing that can move a star doesn't have that much power in comparism to Dialga or Darkrai for that matter (haven't got that far in the game. Only at the freaking unknown cave)

“A place whose inhabitants does not recognise our power.” Dialga informs him.
“A place whose “ruler” thinks she can go toe to toe with us. She’s a total bitch.”

4285868 Referring to that, just saying that even after beating Dialga you wouldn't want to fight Celestia, and how she sometimes reacts to species from other dimensions. I'll place my bet when I figure out how you've characterized Tia this time round, as well as her power levels.

Good chapter good chapter :moustache:
Interesting plot line at the end of the chapter, I can't wait to see how this plays out~

Oh and cupcakes! :pinkiehappy:

Well with this I think I can say that this is one story I want to keep an eye on. One moment. Ah there's the gold star. Keep up the good work and good luck on your next chapter.

4538351
:fluttercry: its people like you who make me feel all good and guilty on the inside. I love the fact you like my story and i hate that I'm so lazy that I can't write the rest of the chapter (about halfway done with it)..... i promise I'll try and finish it soon. A week hopefully, because now I'm motivated :twilightblush:

Alright...not bad.

I suppose I'll keep an eye on this. :trixieshiftright:

If I DID have to give some criticism though, I'd say you need to slow the heck down. You're trying to say too much in too few words, and the story suffers due to that.

Just a bit of advice. :pinkiesmile:

Great chapter~ ^^
Ah that that end has a nice cliffhanger to it.

Oh and feel guilt when don't update a while, yep :eeyup:

Ahem... CURTIS YOU FOOL. You could have just broken out and ran away.

I have a bad feeling about Celestia, and I have no idea why.

You do Realizing he has super powers to break out tonight!?

Curtis, use Focus Blast on the door!

Can't wait to see how Celestia and Jasmine conversation go~

This sucks pokemon are way stronger then any pony unless they are fighting a super hero!

4979310 Think of it this way, they have numbers. One against many isn't very good odds, no matter what circumstances.

4979310 No, pokemon are stronger than ponies either way. Let me put it this way: In the canon of m:d, they beat A GOD OF TIME. Yeah.

4979310
4979828
4982449

Allow me to settle this argument before it gets out of hand. More or less 4979828 is right. The way I see you you finished the game at about level 40 (or at least I did), the average pony out in the desert should be about level 20, so they're easy to beat. The guards ponies are cut above the rest so they sit at level 30-35. So fairly easy to beat but difficult in numbers

“MY CABBAGES!”

I sense a reference~

4130228 NO!!! Reviver seeds!!!! LOADS of 'em!!!

Time in this region has been frozen to a standstill.

[insert multiple curse words here]

cue monster house music

Woooo reunion time!!
Anyway, I love where this is progressing~

Bagon

May I say an old joke that goes around my family when I see a bagon or the word?

*Explodes into rainbows and muffins*

THIS IS D'AW WORTHY!!!!!

5081075 GOD DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:flutterrage:

If I were a Pokemon I'd be Absol and if I went there and saw the last part with time standing still it would be like
Me: hm it's still day time..weird and everything is at astandstill for the first time since I got here(clock ticking then rings)oh you MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More...right now...good day sir

More!!!:pinkiehappy:

yes I love this chapter more please

I really wish I could be immersed in this. I really do. But there’s a serious problem. Both the tone and pacing just feel really... wrong. Yeah, they saved the world. But it came at a huge cost. The pacing is too fast. The tone is being ruined. Something like this needs to be built up more. Maybe include the end of the battle, like when they’ve almost defeated Primal Dialga. THEN do the disappearing thingy, and cut to the present when Bidoof tries and fails to comfort Curtis. That would make this a lot better, I think. Then there’s the problem of when we cut to Jasmine. It is WAY. TOO. CASUAL. Jasmine apparently thought she was dead. Straight up DEAD💀. Now tell me, how would you feel if you thought you had died, realized you didn’t, and you find yourself somewhere that you don’t know? You’d be pretty scared and confused, right? So Jasmine should be like that, too. On top of that, she was ATTACKED by Rainbow Dash. I think that it would be a better idea for Fluttershy to have found Jasmine. And even if you don’t do that, Rainbow Dash attacked Jasmine. She should be freaking out. And Rainbow should be shocked by the TALKING ANIMAL. These are some ways that you can ASTRONOMICALLY improve the first chapter. And yeah, this is all about the FIRST chapter. Nothing else.

(P.S. Don’t try to attack because I’m giving polite constructive criticism. I’m trying to help.)

Please make the next chapter, I wanna keep reading this.
:)

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