Chapter 1: Stars
“What?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Where am I?”
Sweetie Belle trotted around in a circle, looking around. She called out a few more times, asking where she was, but the only thing she heard were echoes of her own voice. She sat down, glancing around at the starry ground and sighed, feeling depressed and lonely.
And then, she heard hoofsteps.
Sweetie’s ears perked up as she turned towards the direction of the sound. She could make out a hazy silhouette of a pony walking over and jumped up to her hooves, a grin appearing on her face. “Oh, I’m so glad to see you!” she exclaimed. “I was just singing something and then I was here and I--Twilight?”
Sweetie squinted her eyes in confusion as the figure cleared out into the familiar alicorn. Twilight was smiling, as if the entire situation was what she expected. Sweetie noticed a flicker of surprise shoot through Twilight’s eyes, but the rest of her face remained in an unchanging smile.
“Hello, Sweetie Belle,” she said. “Come on, follow me. I’m sure you have lots of questions.”
Twilight turned back and Sweetie blinked in confusion. Twilight seemed to be far too calm to be the Twilight she knew, but she shrugged it off as her imagination before hurriedly trotting up to her side.
The two of them walked on for about a minute in silence, before Sweetie asked the question both of them knew was going to be asked. “Where are we?”
“According to my knowledge,” Twilight started. “We are on the other side of reality, in the realm of pure magic.”
“What?”
“This is the place where all ponies’ magic comes from,” Twilight explained. “Every star in this place represents a singular pony, and each pony represented here can tap into this realm and use the magic contained here.”
“Oh,” Sweetie said. “Why are we here?”
“You have been recognized as a Spirit.”
Sweetie blinked. “I’m not dead!”
Twilight let out a laugh, before calmly turning her head towards Sweetie. “No, no. The best explanation, I suppose, would be that you’re a symbol, a representation of something greater than yourself, and that means you have the potential to ascend.”
“Ascend?” Sweetie asked. “You mean become an alicorn?”
“Yes,” Twilight said. “Celestia and Luna are Spirits themselves, along with Cadence and I. Celestia is a representation of the day and light, while Luna is the night, and dark.”
“And Cadence is love and you’re Magic?” Sweetie asked.
“Correct,” Twilight said. “And to my understanding, you represent Inspiration.”
There was silence.
“...What do I have to do with inspiration?” Sweetie asked.
“...I’m not actually sure,” Twilight admitted. “But apparently, it’s what you are. A symbol of inspiration and inspiring others, and I’m here to bring your potential to surface.”
Upon seeing Twilight’s horn start to glow, Sweetie interrupted. “Wait!” she called. “I have another question!”
“What is it?” Twilight asked, horn still glowing.
“Why are you so calm?” Sweetie asked. It perplexed her to no end.
“Actually,” Twilight said as she lowered her horn and got ready to ascend Sweetie Belle. “I’m off the deep end on the inside. Cadence just taught me to hide it.”
“Oh, okay,” Sweetie Belle said. For some reason it relieved her to know Twilight was freaking out, but she didn’t ponder it that hard because she felt a tingle of magic ripple down her spine, which she previously only felt in her horn. The feeling intensified near her shoulders, and she finally noticed that she was, in fact, glowing.
The light brightened and Sweetie shut her eyes.
Sweetie felt two new appendages start to grow from her back, and held in a breathe. She was really becoming an alicorn. This wasn’t a dream she was having after collapsing onto her bed after a late night of chasing fireflies. It felt far too real.
Then the light faded and Sweetie caught a quick glimpse of Twilight, whose horn flashed once more and Sweetie tumbled onto the floor of the Crusaders’ clubhouse.
Sweetie got up, shaking her head, and looked around. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo disappeared. They probably went off somewhere to look for me, Sweetie thought. I’ll just wait here.
Sweetie sat down at the table and picked up the song the three Crusaders wrote earlier that day. “You know,” Sweetie asked no one in particular. “I wonder what exactly a Spirit is. Twilight kinda glazed over that.”
Sweetie looked around a bit more and sighed. “When will they get here?”
After a few more minutes of waiting and doodling various pictures of her friends, Sweetie finally got up and decided to walk out the door to look for them. Cracking open the door, she peeked out, seeing nothing.
Why am I hesitating? Sweetie thought to herself. I’ll just… go.
But try as she might, for some reason she couldn’t bring herself out of the clubhouse.
“Ugh,” Sweetie complained. “I think it’s the wings.”
Sweetie ruffled her new wings which she was still a bit self-conscious about. Everything was going to be different, now. “At least Rarity will be happy,” Sweetie sighed. “Wait! If I’m a princess now then Rarity’s royalty, too! Oh, I have to tell her now!”
Given a new sense of purpose, Sweetie Belle boldly strode up to the door and opened, only to face the face of Apple Bloom, whose hoof was stretched out to open the door from the other side.
“Oh,” Sweetie Belle said uncertainly. “Hi…”
“Sweetie Belle?” Apple Bloom asked. “Where’d you go? We were looking for you all over the place!”
“W-Well…” Sweetie Belle started, confused about why she was acting so shy and different than normal. Apple Bloom was her friend. And yet she felt odd in Apple Bloom’s presence at the moment
Sweetie shuffled her body and wings behind the door and out of sight. “I kinda…”
“Yeeees?” Apple Bloom leaned in. Sweetie Belle took in a deep breath.
“I kinda ascended to alicornhood…” Sweetie tried to make the news sound casual, but she wasn’t sure if she sounded as unconfident as she felt.
Apple Bloom was silent. The two fillies stared at each other for a moment, before Sweetie Belle nudged the door open and revealed her wings.
“Well,” Apple Bloom stared. “Ah… Ah might need to sit down…”
Sweetie Belle opened the door wider and allowed Apple Bloom to step past her towards the table. “I don’t really believe it either, to be honest,” she said. “I still need to talk to Twilight about everything that’ll change and I’m not sure if I’m quite ready for that, yet.”
“Ah can’t believe it either,” Apple Bloom said.
The two sat for a while in uncomfortable silence. Finally, Sweetie Belle asked, “So where’s Scootaloo?”
“She’s off looking for you in town,” Apple Bloom said.
“Ah,” Sweetie responded. “I should probably go get her, huh?”
“Yeah.”
Sweetie fidgeted a little bit more.
Apple Bloom coughed.
“So,” Sweetie said. “I guess I’ll help you two find your cutie marks?”
“Ah guess,” Apple Bloom said. “It would feel wrong to kick you out of the Crusaders. We’ve been through so much, ya know?”
“Yeah.” Sweetie Belle wanted some tea, for some reason. “Well, I have to go and talk to Rarity now. She’ll probably faint from shock.”
The two of them had a chuckle. Sweetie got up and threw a sheet over her back. “Well, I’m off now,” she said. “And don’t worry, I won’t act all high and might like I’m better than you.”
Apple Bloom waved goodbye as Sweetie walked through the door. Once the alicorn was out of sight, she let out a sigh and set her head down onto the table. “Nothing will ever be the same again…”
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Excellent chapter! The disconnection of Sweetie to Apple Bloom I didn't see coming, it was executed very nicely. I think you should add the Sad tag if you intend for her strenuous relationship to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo to be a major focus. That was quite a tense moment between the two of them; I can't wait to see what unfolds.
Your explanations on the magical realm were also very intriguing. I like how you chose Inspiration for Sweetie, as that was originally going to be Rarity's Element before Generosity was decided. Nice touch!
Oh, and I think you should most definitely keep drawing! I love your artwork.
4088592 Sure thing!
4089231 I shall!
4089605 I am...
...A person.
And we all know that life is 42.
4089946 I know what I'll be wearing now! Thanks!
4089998 Because magic.
4092027 Well, we all know how the CMC are with messing up.
4095281 I'm probably going to touch on immortality in Chapter 2.
And yeah, poor Sweetie
Wait, I just got an excuse to use the Sweetie emoticon! My life is complete!
4096436 4096438 The story's tone will probably be all over the place since I really don't plan out anything whatsoever.
And what does Sweetie even have to do with Inspiration? I'm not even sure why I picked her to be that.
Wait, I think I just remembered.
And thanks, by the way.
And don't worry about the drawing; it adds a little extra flavor to the chapter. As for the 'spirit' thing, I'll take it, so long as you know where you're going with this. I await more my good sir/madam.
I dunno but how does the Chapter title "The Other Side of Reality" Sound? Also if this keeps up i might be inspired on how to write the next 2 chapters in my story. Then i can have funn with it again.
4096470 Well, I've always found music to be a great source of inspiration. Just my two cents.
this one enjoys your words
4096477 I don't know anywhere I'm going!
But don't worry. Probably.
4096554 I might use it later, but I like Stars for this one.
And I'm glad to hear it, I like inspiring people!
...
...WHY AM I IN THE OTHER SIDE OF REALITY NOW.
AND WHY DID MY LAPTOP COME WITH ME.
4096612 I imagine you would listen to rock, right?
4096696 I am very glad to see those words upon my screen that you have put there.
They make my heart feel something good that I do not know the name of.
4096470 Sure...
Drawing titles are nice so keep on doing them if you want.
You should probably reserve using the sad tag if the plot's going all over the place unless if it's going to be a major emotion for the story.
I wonder if she'll inspire someone enough to go to the other side...
Wait. What. You're description of Alicornhood was the EXACT SAME as mine. Oh well, you used it first so I guess you can be credited with it. Other than that, nice work! Can't wait for more!
Everything seemed as it should to me. Twilight's calmness was a little off, I know she'd never be able to have hidden it in that situation. Not a chance.
But everything else, sweetie's anxiousness, her and apple bloom's awkwardness, the realisation that rarity will probably faint(will admit, I snickered I that myself) they all seemed pretty on the dot.
I noticed though that sweetie hasn't realised the big thing about her being an alicorn though. She's immortal.
I've thought for a long time that it would be super interesting to see how the dynamic in the CMC changes if one of them gets their cutiemark before the others. Your characterizations are spot on, though I guess Sweetie Belle isn't as much of a space cadet as I usually imagine her.
I'm really enjoying it!
This, is a good story
I don't know why, but I just can't wait to see the look on Diamond's face when she sees Sweetie Belle
A bit fast but amazing
Really like the picture/chapter title
I would add sad because I don't think. Her friends will take it well
I like how it is easy to make a mental image with this story
Yeah, pacing is still a little fast, but it's not horrible. Few words that are spelled right but don't agree with the sentence in a couple places, but nothing egregious. If I were to 'wish' for something to be tweaked in this chapter, it would be the bit with Twilight. I can see Twilight being taught to sense ascendant energy, I'd expect her to be a bit more surprised to see that it's Sweetie, maybe actually show her being more nervous than she is. That part is... I dunno, kinda weak. It's a little bit too much, "Oh, you're a Spirit, here are your wings." when I'd expect a little more confusion on the part of both parties, maybe Twilight letting Sweetie know that the other Princesses might get involved since this is technically a Big Thing.
I'm still curious to see what you're planning on doing with this fic, though. Still reserving my up/down vote until I see more. This is still a good start, but I want to see where it goes. :)
And see poor Scootaloo's reaction when she find out yet another UNICORN is going to fly before she does.
There is a lot of potential for humor here, if you play it right. You might want to add a comedy tag just to be safe
*squeals* MORE!!!
The fast pacing actually works well. Right now, Sweetie's mind is probably spinning around like a firework duct taped to a hamster wheel: going a mile a minute and nowhere fast at the same time. The cursory writing nicely captures that sense of numb shock through sheer improbability.
Still, it's not a style you should use for the whole story.
In any case, definitely looking forward to more. Especially Discord's reaction.
TEA......
Alicorn-nip.
Really enjoying this story so far; "Crusader becomes an alicorn" stories are far too rare, and having one crusader ascend first has interesting possibilities for character exploration.
I'd love to see Sweetie Belle confront Twilight over the whole mysterious reveal thing. A minute worth of explanation and a disappearing act? Nice try, Twilight, but Sweetie knows where you live.
I liked Apple Bloom's concern at the end, but it seemed rather sudden, and a bit out of nowhere.
4096470
Please be original about it, though. Sweetie Belle is way too young for immortality angst; "awesome" seems like the more appropriate reaction. And given the CMC's persistent crusades, it wouldn't surprise me if Sweetie's reaction to thinking her friends would grow old and she wouldn't would be "we can fix that"; after all, if Sweetie got her cutie mark and alicornhood at the same time, who's to say the other two wouldn't have the same thing happen? "Inspiration", meet "Creativity" and "Boldness".
Seems like her biggest concern would be more like "Wait, am I going to stay a filly forever? No? Oh, OK then."
The pacing is a little fast, but still, Alicorn Sweetie is cool. Except I slightly think AB was acting a little weird, but that might just be she's shocked that Sweetie is an Alicorn now. Doesn't really mater, the story's awesome.
So when is Sweetie Belle's coronation?
I think Twilight is more like the spirit of friendship than the spirit of magic. I mean, it's the magic of friendship that made her an Alicorn
4100062
Yes, but remember, friendship is magic.
Now, if only a male pony or two could be alicorns, then the potential for a fourth or fifth tribe is possible (counting Luna's bat ponies?). Yeah, a winged, horned Big Macintosh, Alicorn of Steadfastness... Heh heh.
Still look forward to more.
4100062 I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks this
Seriously
Now, for reactions: **blank stare** Well... shit. I like how you interpret the other reality, though. And how Twilight is freaking out. It's nice, it truly is. Great story, liked and faved.
Well, you definitely have me hooked. I will wait for more
Yes... yes!! i like this even more
You are good drawer. Better than I am, at least.
The drawing title is absolutely fantastic. I love it.
So far I don't see the need for a sad tag. It depends on what you're planning for the future.
Found a small mistake toward the end of the chapter.
Might should be mighty. Other than that everything looks great.
This is a fantastic story and I look forward to future chapters.
Let's see. My favourite types of stories: Sweetie and Adventure. There are all the elements of a story in here that I should really like. I really want to like this story, but I find that there is an issue with the pacing on these first few chapters. I just couldn't get connected with SB as a reader, so the song and the transformation scenes both felt a little more distant to me than I would have liked. I think if you spent a little more time fleshing out details with a bit of descriptive prose alongside your dialogue, this story could be a lot more powerful for it.
In any case, there's enough promise in here for me to find it worthwhile to follow the story. I hope to see you improve as an author.
~SilentBelle
The only flaw here is pacing.
But I like the story so far.
Why are all the Sweetiecorn stories I read dead!?
Ok, I'm amused. I'll just wait here for any future updates.
*snifles* Update please?
This was the first story I ever favorited, sad to see it's only had one update over the years.
Why did you cancel this?
Again Why did you cancel this?