I'm so glad you've started bringing things over from your pastebin, especially this.

Incredibly hot.

very nice!... u may proceed

Pretty good, I hope he doesn't have something bad planned.

Zoophilestia is best princess.

Well, it seems that there is some romance to this, and it also seems that Celestia knows he is much more intelligent then he lets on. Should be interesting to see where the story goes from here.

I sense a story developing beyond the sex....I shall see where it goes. Ya earned a fav. I'll hold back on the like for now...clops are a dime a dozen, but a good story...ya know where I'm going. I'm intrigued.

...busted.

Holy fucking shit this is HOT!

DAYUM

This story is interesting, but I really enjoy it.

4030859 You spelled disturbed wrong.

4031218 Why u talk this way

When I realized what the ring was for, I was like "what da FUCK???!!!"

4031370 You'd be a better English teacher than my English teacher.

What the hell am I reading....

4032294 I'm pretty sure it isn't written that he has said that he is a human.

4032374

"Human."
You state, placing a worn hand to your chest and staring coolly back against her harshness. The Sisters react as expected, their startled features varying as Luna looks on in great surprise. They seem to take you as some lesser-mer; the less they know, the more options you may have.

It's in the first chapter.
Luna calls him beast and he corrects her by simply saying what he is.

This story could really stand to be better.

Your descriptions are damn good, but you really need to put more focus on the plot.

If it's going to be a shameless clopfic, just let it be a shameless clopfic.

If you're going to go to the trouble of crafting a story to go along with it, you really need to put the effort in.

For examples of other clop stories with good porn-plot ratios, I'd look up "Poking Pinkie Pie in the Pooper", and "XY Chromosome".

You give your ponies in these fics kind of a pregnancy fetish. What I want to know is, can their wishes be fulfilled?

4033693 I know a certain character whos punched celestia in the face twice, a third time in a different story when he got turned into a Female alicorn princess instead of twilight against his will.

what the hell is up with this writing style.... disconnecting the actions from the character doing it? The hell man?

4033694 you can edit your post insted of making another with the correctin in it bro

4032314
Wished I knew. Can't even fap to it, not a hint of subtlety.

I guess I'm too refined... what am I saying; This is porn fanfiction on the internet. Any pretension of refinement I had went out the window when I clicked this story!

this was a writefag (if I used this term wrong, then sorry) on a 4chan /mlp/ topic ages ago, made its way into a pastebin, then made its way here; if i'm right, then there's still 2 chapters left that I know of that haven't been converted to this site

Oh fuck, I remember reading this part in that Celestia thread awhile ago! Didn't know it was actually apart of a larger story.

Fuck'n liked.

This is ef'd up. I'll never understand BSDM roleplaying mentality that could lead to fantasies like this.

Not that I'm judging anyone.

4039221 KIL/RUN.

STILL THE BEST 1973

4036123 umad?

4040044 Regardless, it's fucking hard to read.

This is probably the funniest and worst written (detail wise) clop I've ever read.

+1 for making me laugh my ass off

Anyone else getting the vague image of Sunbutt being Paris Hilton or one of those other overly rich but intelligence declined folks that carry around a Chihuahua in their purse?

4037173 Perhaps it is a cushion made from the hands of her previous "pets" after the displeased her

Ya know. I mostly dont like this fanfic for some reasons. It gives me a stale taste in my mouth when I read, but I also like it because of how well.. written it is. Lots of nice words nobody else uses to describe and elaborate on what's happening. Also lots of bits of it are hot as fuck. Though the constant attention to the guys massive dick is rather cringe inducing (really makes this sound like one of those trashy sex novels you can buy on amazon for 5 bucks). I hope this evolves into an actual passionate romance. It fits, mare who has had it all, except a man, and a man who has had it all, except a mare. I may steal the "celestia has a human pet" thing someday, but more along the lines of romance less 50 shades of grey.

4040614 Ah thank you for telling me, if you could not tell I was not sure before

This story is highly amusing.

Alright, final chapter thus far.

Hmm, this does seem to keep to form, the slow evolution of Manon's acclimation to his supposed role. That's really the major dynamic the story takes on for me and it's something I like to see (and I'd like to see completed as an arc). It's really a good theme of trying to see a battle of wills and manipulation towards two personages that are essentially physical paragons of their respective species.

Both have shown a degree of easement when it comes to their goals and expectations of each other, and where as Celestia has the social authority and graces along with an enormous deal of deviousness, Manon is really graced with being a mute animal to them. It's very easy to underestimate him because he's really expected to behave: like a royal treats their dog (or Caligula his horse for that matter). Where this has been showing rather than telling is in that introduction with the title seeping into his dream.

Celestia does have a feeling of a God-Queen in these stories, absolute ruler but still having to deal with the pettiness of monarchies when she so sees fit. It's different from most of the Paragon-Queen stories so it feels slightly more imposing in that sense. Comparatively Manon's plans finally get some more detailing which feels sinister and I really want to see his motivation for putting such a plan into action.

Nice little touch with the 'Safe Meat Inspections' procedures and issues. Smirking at vegan ponies a bit, vegetarian true, but cheese, milk, eggs are all still on the menu. Ahem, off-track . Lets see.

A one pound ring, I'm... well... damn. Let me say this right now: I have no idea about the territories that this chapter enters. For that, I can't say how appreciative I am of it, because it's one of the reasons why I read. It's something new which means that its expanding my horizon. I know it because I was looking on half the time with a slight wince at the depictions of what, to me, should be concerning.

Some of the stylistic choices are a little peculiar in feeling compared to your other works. I'm not going to say it's more primitive but it's not as refined as some of the other stories. So it feels like an earlier work. It's far from bad so let me say that straight out, it has the hallmarks of a Hand-Made story and it is pretty fun, but certain choices in it are slightly perplexing to me.

It's a detailed romp exploring that owner-pet mentality, and exploring just how sinister and clever the subterfuge can be but it never really develops. So it would be nice to see a climactic conclusion. Referential words like 'plot' as a replacement for rump/croup/ass makes the tone feel slightly skewed when there's some exceptionally good metaphors within the space of a single paragraph.

On an unrelated note, I'm tempted to say Manon not only named his reproductive appendage, but refers to his thighs as 'lions'. Typo, sure, but I was smirking. Deice I'm just gonna' take for decide. The part I am somewhat confused about is the return to “Owner” instead of just Owner, I liked that inflexion before.

It's somewhat reiterated in the physical depictions themselves:

“...the Princess is unable to resist your hip flexors...”

I'm not sure if I can resist Manon's hip flexors* , but I did have to actually look up what that was. That said, it's a jarring contrast between medical terminology and a more romantic allusive prose. It makes me think that the folk over at Bodybuilders would be thrilled with it. As it is, it feels like it's mixing two different worlds, though it is a curiosity and novelty to me as an audience member .

What can I say, the actual 'clop' scenes are still good. The rougher and more partner-centric feeling comes out in the scenes really well with some of the liberties taken with handling Celestia. Again, it's reinforcing the changing attitudes between them and the slow progress of Manon from animal, to tamed beast, to pet, to lover, to companion. It's a gradual build that suits the story and I can't wait to see where this is going.

That said, I can't get this distinct picture out of my mind that the character is written the same way that Boris Vallejo paints. It's a style that: A, I'm not used too; B, is 'love it or hate it' in nature; and C, like the bagpipes, I don't know what side I'm on with regards to point B .

Basically this guy

There's a lot of detail put into the main character's appearance, and the absolute barbarism that it results it places an extreme emphasis internally and externally on the character's physical attributes.

This isn't necessarily bad in a logical sense for someone clever enough to mask their intelligence behind, essentially, a wall of muscle while acting/living the life of a primitive oaf. It allows them to essentially bypass any notion of intellect or cunning manipulation because it's not expected by the people around them. It's the same reason why Northerners and my countrymen are more comfortable talking about nuclear physics with someone from Nottingham rather than someone from Mobile: it has nothing to do with intellect but the perception of intellect based on preconceptions. That's where the story really lives up to its potential, though as of yet it's an incomplete feeling arc (which is fine in a continuing story of course). So, can't wait to see what happens .

I think I like the story, I mean I 'liked' the story sure, but it feels novel to me. Really hoping to see more so I can really make up my mind.
* I was trying to not remember the line from Corner-Gas so I wouldn't laugh, "“I think I hurt my hip flexors, it would really help if I could park close to things” "In twenty-five years that's the worst excuse I've ever heard."

Little princess...AGAIN...coincidence, me being stupid, or something more. The world may never know.

no offence but you should remove Luna tag since there is literally no Luna chapter for now... it's just misleading for those who are searching for LUNA stories >.>

4073930
I think the rule is you have to include all tags that are going to be in the story rather than just adding them later as it happens so there's no surprises, like suddenly an Everybody story changes to Mature-Gore, or starting off as adventure, but suddenly becoming an adventurous yet romantic slice-of-life comedy featuring everyone in Equestria kind of thing.

So, in short, the Luna tag could mean that there's a more Luna-focused chapter coming up possibly (great news for us Luna-lovers ) , or she could've just been added because she appears in the story once or twice (in which case you're right, it should be removed).

Update please.

Human needs to make a surprise visit to Luna

img.youtube.com/vi/KFAnrdZvUtU/0.jpg

4108413 Who wouldn't.

Very much enjoying this! Hope you update soon.

That last sentence!
Busted!

nice

i was about to complain about this not having been updated in a long time, but then i saw that it hasn't been updated since the 3rd of march, which was only a month ago and i like to wait 2 months before officially complaining, just thought i'd let you know

I need more or I'll go into a crazed rage! I NEED MY FIX MAN!

I like your other stories but I'd REALLY love to see this one get some updates, come on! It's 500 likes up and counting, I'm fritzin like an addict. So many stories I've seen just go dead after a handful of chapters lately