The Doctor is nearly killed in a battle against a mysterious force called Forget. Regenerated, he crashes in Equestria and finds himself to be a pony in a world full of magic. Not only that, but he seems to have made this Applebloom Mare very angry and he doesn't remember why. And there's another problem, he doesn't remember much of anything. Only enough to be able to keep him and Applebloom alive as they are chased down by terrifying monsters that are even unknown to the Doctor. Or at least, he doesn't remember ever seeing them before...
Thank you Autocole for creating the cover for me!
Chapters (2)
Hm...the characters are well written and the story certainly goes from point A to point B, no unnecessary stray lines of dialogue either. What makes it a little hard to read however, is the lack of spaces between paragraphs. Try to widen the gaps to avoid making the wall of text and don't worry about one line being too desolated, the readers usually prefer it that way to cramped fics.
Also, you may wish to put dialogue sentences at the start or at the end of descriptions, it usually helps out a little because if dialogue is in the middle it usually gets cramped in there. Of course there are instances when its good to follow dialogue with another dialogue, especially if you want to create dynamic interruption like:
I like that you especially kept the characters in their respective personalities, that's probably the biggest plus of all as most writers fail to do so!
4111470 Thanks, I appreciate the advice and support.
"). I'll keep the paragraph spacing in mind for my next chapter, thanks again for the info.
I try to make sure that I'm keeping the characters respected personalities (the Doctor was especially hard to keep track of though!