Silver Spoon comes home one day after school, she was shaken and scared. As the frightened girl explains things to her mother and godmother, she reveals a secret that she had been keeping from the both of them.
Chapters (3)
- Member Since 4th Sep, 2013
- offline last seen Dec 9th, 2014
rainwater12
I love to write, draw, and do other artistic things. FIMfiction is giving me a chance to write my own stories about one of my favorite shows, My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic!
rainwater12
Joined 4th Sep, 2013 ·
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Aw yes. Though, I typically dislike sadistic and downright mean spirited DT, its interesting here.
Love it can't wait for the next chapter!
This story is great! Keep up the good work!
@rainwater12...
1. You have an interesting story premise, as well as an interesting storytelling angle (Vinyl Scratch & Octavia Melody being Silver Spoon's parents).
2. However... Your fan-fiction is severely dragged down by the noticeable amount of Technical Writing errors (spelling, grammar, tense, format, incorrect character names, etc.). No matter how good your story-premise and storytelling, if your Technical Writing is bad, then your story will fail.
3. For finding an Editor & Proofreader(s) here on FiMfiction site itself...
~ a. Looking for Editors
~ b. The Proofreader Group
As the general rule for literary writing, you should only have a single Editor, but you can have multiple Proofreaders.
.
4. As for the storytelling itself, you have to ask yourself: Is this fan-fiction necessary to depict the characters as Human rather than ponies? If so, then you probably should find a humanized picture of Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara as your cover image as well.
4396099 Thanks for the advice, I'll check out the groups you mentioned.
Looks pretty good and has quite the potential, only one thing is bugging me a bit,
Tis Cheerilee, not Cheerily.
Sorry a bit of a pet peeve here, can handle just about anything just can't stand wrongly spelled names please forgive me
Oooh...I can't wait for the next chapter!!!
Aww...Lovely ending. Sequel please?
4503028 yes sequel
It should be diamond tiaras revenge
4503055
4503028
I have actually been planning on making a sequel.
Sequel coming soon!
Nicely done, but I'd remove person and replace it with pony, also most ponies don't have cars, perhaps have them trot to school or other places. But otherwise it was good, though it could have benefitted from being longer and having a bigger build up to the scene where Silver Spoon admits her situation with Diamond Tiara.
4503174 Human tag
Didn't see that sorry
Not bad thanks for taking the time to write it.
Yay! She finally broke away from Diamond Tiara's evil ways!
Oh, Silver Spoon. You pathetic Benedict Arnold, you...
hahaha U go spoon! tell her off!