Heavenly Turmoil
A “My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic” fanfiction
By TheManWithTwoNames
Standard Legal Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters contained in the following work. “My Little Pony” and all subsequent properties belong to Hasbro.
All of Equestria wept as news of the catastrophe at Cloudsdale spread. There had been no news of their beloved Princess Celestia in three days, and the sun had refused to rise. Equestria had been in a panic when the princess and the sun had vanished not a week prior, but now the world was in absolute chaos, for the ponies knew that their ruler had forsaken them.
Princess Luna sadly trudged through the halls of the palace on her way to Canterlot Tower. She had spent the first half of the day personally seeing to it that Twilight and her friends would be protected inside of the walls of Canterlot should her sister try to strike at them when she could not help them in Ponyville. The rest of her day was spent in the company of several terrified diplomats. She had narrowly managed to calm them and ensured the ponies that they had found Princess Celestia and she would be returned to them soon. She never liked lying, though she often found she was quite adept at it, but for the sake of Equestra’s sanity she could not confess the truth.
She realized she was making a mistake -- it was her refusal to face the truth that allowed her sister to fall so far. But what else could she do? Tell them that not a soul had seen their ruler since her attempt to murder her own sister and the six bearers of the Elements of Harmony? That it was likely that Celestia may never be found until she decided to be found, and that the squads she had sent to search Equestria were purely facetious covers to comfort the citizens? That Luna had tried without success to raise the sun on her own for the last two days, and may be too weak to bring its life-bringing rays until long after Equestria had perished in an eternal night? She felt a coldness creep over her, and heard a voice whispering in her ear telling her that lies were easier to take than painful truths.
No. It wasn’t right, she scolded herself. She was not ashamed to be afraid, but she would not let her fear destroy Equestria. She continued her march with renewed vigor, her searing determination burning away the doubt that had hovered over her. She would try again to raise the sun. And whether she met failure or success, she would confess it all. Celestia’s sudden paranoia and declining health, how the possible threat of Discord’s power was never released to the public, but most of all, she would tell them of her own failure to act to save Equestria from this disaster. If her ponies had ever intended to forgive her for her sins as Nightmare Moon, they certainly would never accept her now. But if that was how it was meant to be, so be it. She would endure the hate and the whispers and the burden of ruling. Luna would be the ruler that Equestria needed, at any cost to herself.
She stood before the doors of Canterlot Tower and looked up at the ivory building glowing faintly in the dark night sky, with the moon on the western horizon at the end of its orbit waiting for the sun to rise and relieve its sister. Luna’s mother always spoke of the balance between the two heavenly bodies and it was something that always fascinated the princesses; it was difficult for one to rise without the help of the other, and this would certainly be true for Luna. The midnight princess turned to the east, her teal eyes hopefully scanning the horizon for any trace of light. Finding none, she solemnly began her solitary journey up the tower steps. She prayed that her ponies would have their sun again soon, and she prayed for her sister.
“No matter what you’ve done, or what you’ve become,” Luna whispered to the wind, “I will always know you as you were, as you truly are.” For the very first time, the younger princess understood her sister’s anguish after banishing her away, and the crushing guilt of knowing the monster history would make her become. “Please, Celestia, please come home.”
----------
Her legs were shaking and her breathing was labored. Her ragged coat was stained with sharp cuts and bruises and her once-colorful mane was made sordid by the dirt and grime that clung to it and pinned the hair to her side. She had no time to care for vanity now that Luna had sent squadrons of pegasi to hunt her. The alicorn had spent the last few days hiding from the soldiers in the concealing darkness of the unlit sky and in every hole and wedge in the forest she could tuck herself into. She couldn’t let them find her, or it would be the end of her. She had tried to snap down into the trees to escape her pursuers that fateful night, but something went wrong. A branch had deeply cut her wing and she fell to the ground, the immense pain that moving it brought telling the renegade princess that it was broken. Celestia would have used her magic to mend it, but she hardly had the strength to stay moving, let alone muster even the weakest spell. She couldn’t remember the last time she had eaten anything substantial, as her diet during her time in hiding had consisted only of whatever meager bits of grass and fungus she could lower herself to force down.
She was completely alone, abandoned. Forsaken by everyone she knew and chased out from her own home like some beast. Even Discord had not appeared to keep her company as he used to. But she would not go quietly into the darkness. She would have her revenge on Nightmare Moon, and her plan was already underway. She would hide the sun away for as long as necessary; soon, the susceptible ponies of Equestria would blame Nightmare Moon for everything and accuse her of trying to create another eternal night. And leading the charge against this treacherous usurper would be Princess Celestia, the one true ruler of the land, looking down at the cowards that dared to oppose her as they squirmed and shriveled in the all-revealing light of day. It would be glorious.
Discord had to congratulate himself on yet another victory. The spirit of chaos laughed in his throat as he hovered unseen over the gray alicorn. Even those little ponies hadn’t self-destructed as marvelously as Celestia had, and those were some of the funniest little spats he had ever seen! Oh, poor, poor Princess Celestia. The destruction of Equestria would only be the world’s punishment for his imprisonment. But his creator needed special attention after the shameful way she treated her own child.
‘No, that still feels weird,’ Discord thought, shuddering at the mental image. How could ponies even stand to give birth? With all the screaming and the pushing and the, the ick. There was a difference between chaos and being disgusting, and he drew the line at the “miracle” of life. The heavy beating of wings let him know that things were about to get exciting again and he held on tight to the magical tether extending from his stomach that tied him to the princess.
Celestia panicked and scrambled into a pricker bush, wincing as the thorns added more cuts and scrapes across her body. But anything was better than being discovered by the pegasus guards that were scanning the forest. She kept silent, cringing at every snap from the branches under her hooves; it was becoming increasingly difficult to remain standing.
“Anything?” one of the patrollers asked.
“Nothing, sir.”
“For the love of Cele… For goodness sake,” the pony corrected himself, “why would the princess even send us out this way? Nothing this way but that old dragon’s lair.” Celestia’s ears perked at the mention and an idea struck her. Of course! If he wouldn’t come to her to help, then she’d go to him. The mountain was just on the edge of the forest; she could be there in just a few hours.
The draconequus frowned. He wanted the mountain to be a surprise. He would have loved to grab onto Celestia’s horn and coax out some magic to remove those meddlesome guards’ wings, but it appeared that the alicorn was all out of juice. He idly floated around as he waited for the princess to feel safe enough to crawl out of the thorns and continue her trek to his new lair. It wasn’t fair. She couldn’t even see how pathetic she looked, stumbling around in the darkness, tripping over every rock and branch in her way, and he couldn’t appear to her to bring it to her attention when he was so close to his final victory.
Well, the first of his final victories. The spirit of chaos snorted in disappointment as he thought back to how Luna foiled his first crack at getting under her skin, which he found to be incredibly inconsiderate. First she sealed him in stone, and then she pestered him for a thousand years after she got herself stuck on the moon, but once he tried to follow that telepathic channel she opened between them, then she didn’t want to have anything to do with him. He supposed that she must have been made of sterner stuff than her big sister, but he would get to her eventually. But for now, one out of two wasn’t bad. That was a solid F. Maybe even an F+.
Celestia closed her eyes and cursed Discord as a wave of painful images bombarded her. Twilight was truly an unsuitable student if she couldn’t even manage to put an end to the spells she casted. But the draconequus had lied to her—he told her that nothing could hurt her in her memories, and yet as she was forced to recall memory after memory, she couldn’t think of a time when she was in greater misery. She didn’t deserve this hell that Twilight and Nightmare Moon had cursed her with, but she would personally see to it that they felt her suffering ten times over.
She stopped in her tracks when a ferocious growl rumbled from behind her. Turning over her shoulder, she could see solid pure yellow eyes glowing from the blackness of the forest. A faint blue glow was visible around them, and Celestia lowered her stance. Lupus Minors were no real threat to any capable pony, and she had made a game of hunting the wolves with her father when she was young; Lupus Minors were cowardly creatures of the night, as all things nocturnal were, and would often flee in terror from the fiery glow of the Sun King. When she was older, living in hiding, she could simply flash a beacon of light and blind the hounds and take them down at her leisure. But now the long night had given the worshippers of darkness foolish courage, and one stupid dog thought it was powerful enough to prey upon her.
She padded her hoof against the ground once or twice and charged into the thicket with her horn aimed to pierce through the beast. She felt a slight resistance, but no creature’s hide was too thick for an alicorn to puncture. A sad howl was cut short and the princess realized with some satisfaction that she must have stabbed through the beast’s throat. She cried out when she felt a sharp pain on her side and her flank and saw that two more of the creatures had ambushed her. Throwing the dead Lupus off of her horn, Celestia bucked weakly to scare the creatures away, but to no effect. The wolves easily lept back and pounced again, tearing savagely into the alicorn’s flesh. Letting out a fearful whinny, the princess fled from her attackers. Her hooves pounded against the dirt, kicking up grass and dying leafs as she dashed and maneuvered around each tree. A chorus of howls echoed around her as more Lupus Minors joined the hunt.
Even in the dark of night she could see their starry, blue forms savagely racing over the hills by the trees of the forest and realized with growing anxiety that they were closing the distance between them. What she would give to be able to turn them all to dust in the glow of her glorious sun, or better yet, leave the slobbering mutts to snap at the air as she took flight to leave all her earthly concerns behind. She could see herself rising higher and higher with each flap of her wings, able to look down and see her entire kingdom bathed in her radiance. Another howl came like a blade, cutting through Celestia’s dreaming and clipping her wings to send her falling back to the dark earth. The howl persisted and the princess turned to her side to see her sister running eagerly at her side.
“Luna?” Celestia whispered in uncertainty. For it was Luna. Back when her sister was not filled with jealousy and hatred, if there ever was a time. She was taken back to a time when the two laughed and loved, back to those blissful days of youth.
“You’re going to have to try harder than that, Tia!” Luna teased playfully before taking a turn and vanishing behind a hedge. The alicorn found herself dashing through the palace’s garden labyrinth. Her father’s sun was shining brightly above in the clear blue sky, and some curious birds were flitting happily above her, singing words of encouragement.
“You won’t beat me this time, Luna!” Celestia laughed back. She took in the bliss of it all, praising her guardian angel for saving her from Twilight’s failed spell with these heavenly memories. Discord happily accepted; Celestia’s mind was a sublimely turbulent place now, a decided improvement from how he found her just two weeks ago.
The lush green blended into brown stones as she mischievously scurried down an alley. She could hear Captain Ratch’s angry voice howling at the guards chasing after her and couldn’t help but laugh at how worked up the old stallion got at everything. It was amazing he managed to live so long when he was always so stressed. Letting responsibility overwhelm you was no way to go through life, Celestia decided. But it was time to pick up the pace—if she didn’t fly quicker, she wouldn’t be able to produce a large enough blast to blow away the leaves.
Celestia’s wings beat faster and faster, fighting against the updraft as she dove toward the earth. The forest was coming closer and closer, and she could barely make out what looked like some poor pony being chased by a pack of Lupus Minors. She didn’t feel much like helping the fool, but she always enjoyed reinforcing her authority. Tucking her wings around her body, Celestia prepared to break through the trees and tackle one of the animals at the front of the pack. A sudden surge of agony tore through her wings, as if they had burst into flames. The alicorn kicked her legs in a panic, unable to pull out of the drop.
Princess Celestia crashed through the edge of the forest, her broken wing bent grotesquely at her side. She tumbled for a few feet and landed on her side, moaning weakly. The alicorn forced an eye to open, the cuts on her face stinging from the tears washing over them, and saw the Lupus Minors stalking closer, preparing to finish her.
She shut her eyes tight and fought with whatever paltry strength she still had to move. She could only force herself to her knees, and by then it was too late. The Lupus Minor at the head of the pack released a howl and lunged at the defenseless princess. Celestia was in disbelief. It couldn’t really end like this… not like this…
Another howl filled the air, though this time it was accompanied by frightened whimpers and frantic scurrying. The alicorn opened her eyes again and saw the Lupus Minors retreating back into the cover of the forest with their smoking tails tucked between their legs. Celesta twisted her head this way and that, trying to find her savior. Nothing could have matched her rapture when she looked to the east and saw the sun climbing over the horizon. Her wonderful, golden-yellow sphere had sensed its master’s peril and rose to aid the princess. She closed her eyes and let the heavenly warmth wash over her, delighting in the familiar sensation of her sunrise.
But it was wrong. Something about it was terribly wrong. Celestia opened her eyes again and stared at the rising sun in a glazed befuddlement, trying to understand how this could be happening. This wasn’t her sunrise. Just as she could sense the difference between her father’s harsh and powerful day and her own glorious and revealing light, and her mother’s comforting and tranquil night and her sister’s mysterious and uneasy darkness, she could tell that this was something new.
It was shy and yet excited with itself. On the surface it appeared uncertain, but a deep well of strength was hiding just beneath. It was a light of salvation to all of Equestria, but in Celestia’s eyes it was the most wrathful act of vengeance she could have ever imagined.
Nightmare Moon had raised the sun.
Princess Celestia turned her head to the sky and screamed with all her heart and soul. She screamed for her betrayal, she screamed for her people, she screamed for the end of her kingdom, but above all else, she screamed for her end. It was all over now. Her plans were dashed now that Nightmare Moon controlled the sun and the moon – they would revere the traitor as they once revered her. She could never convince Equestria to side with her now; they’d all turn against her and side with their new princess. Celestia screamed at the sunrise again and again with all the fury and anguish she could muster and screamed until her lungs caught fire.
“You are just so adorable when you get angry,” Discord giggled to himself as he floated around the miserable alicorn. He watched the flame in Celestia’s eye reignite and the princess turned to the mountain. She strained herself as she started her arduous climb up the dangerous and craggy mountain, her muscles screaming for a peace that the Celestia’s fury would not allow.
The draconequus was curious as to what Celestia thought she would find when she finally reached him. Sure, he could just invade her mind and take his answers, but where was the fun in that? The spirit of chaos loved a little surprise now and then, and he’d like to have something to look forward to while he waited for the alicorn to finally climb to the top. In the meantime, all he could do was reflect on things—not much else to do when you’re nothing but target practice for pigeons, anyway.
He really wished folks would appreciate the effort he put into everything. Underneath his puckish and dashing exterior lived the mind of a genius—sure, sometimes it’s more fun to just play one move at a time, but with someone like Celestia, he had to give her the honor of ensnaring her in one of his perfect traps. What was that little rhyme he gave her to give them a sporting chance of figuring out?
The answer you seek is right at your side, but hearing it will make you run and hide. Face the music and let your lesson be learned, and then back to my cave is where you’ll return. One choice will return you to your life so sweet, the other one leads to ruin complete.
Or something to that effect. He wondered if his riddles were too complicated for the crowd he was dealing with. No one ever seemed to get them right until after he had already won. The worst was when it looked like Celestia just stopped trying and he had to hint her in the right direction.
“No, Celestia, of course I just like talking about magical umbilical chords, isn’t that a normal conversation piece?” he snorted. It was just like her to try to ruin his victory by letting him win. And she was taking forever to climb this mountain. Come on, she had energy to run from those wolves—did he have to find some childhood memory of her climbing something to make this go faster? That seemed to be the only way he could get her off her flank and do anything anymore.
He wished Celestia could have had some magic left for him to steal. It was so restricting, having to channel such limited power. He would have loved to be able to make her call down another rock slide like the last time she came to visit his statue – WHAM! Right on the noggin! Just hard enough to crack her skull and give him a good laugh. He didn’t want to kill her—well, not yet, anyway. What’s the fun in winning if the loser didn’t know the score?
He snickered when he saw her lose her grip on a crumbling edge and land on a sharp rock and calmed down a bit. So, the riddle. He was certain that once Celestia had learned about her role in his creation, she would have gone into hiding or some sort of self-imposed exile; but it’s hard to be right all the time, especially when you’re talking in riddles. But hey, that’s just the sort of thing that comes with being the spirit of disharmony.
Celestia knew the lesson all along—heck, he slithered out of it! Of course he had to cut Sparkle-Butt’s “friendship report” short, but he really could not stomach another word of it. The independent princess just never learned to ask for help, even before he started taking a more hands-on approach to the situation. If she had focused more on issues with ruling her country rather than having her head in some La-La Land about a picnic, Twilight would have told her what she needed to know. Sure, Celestia was under his influence by that point, but nobody ever accused Discord of playing fair.
But none of that mattered now -- he had won this little game, and he was reaping his prize.
The alicorn’s body screamed in defiance as she forced herself to continue up the rocky face. Her wings were broken, her magic was gone, her body was weak, and her world had betrayed her. But she was laughing. She was laughing through her bitter tears, through her misery, through her pain. Because she knew that she would always triumph. The two of them together would be unstoppable. After several hours of struggling, Celestia finally dragged herself to the summit of the mountain where a pile of boulders separated her from victory.
Staggering to the top of the rock pile, Celestia began to push the stones away with whatever life was left in her. Her lungs and heart cried for air, screaming for a peace that would never come; she was not about to let weakness overtake her now. The alicorn’s rabid determination drove her to heave every stone from its place and a manic shudder of glee rippled from her with every rock that tumbled away from the blockade. She was so close now…
She was so close now…
With her last ounce of strength, the starved and prostrated Celestia finally removed the last boulder, laying bare the calm lair. Another memory spontaneously struck her: a thought of her previous journey to the cave with her former protégé. The unicorn had observed that the cave would always have a marvelous view of the sunset. Celestia turned back around at the horizon and glared viciously at the imposter sun in the last stage of its flight through the sky. She didn’t see anything impressive in the sunset. She wouldn’t hesitate to call it amateur, especially considering the architect; the blue sky hadn’t even changed to some soothing, deep red glow, or even a blend of rich purple and white clouds. The sky was simply growing darker to allow the moon to replace the shameful display.
She was glad to know that it would be the last time she would ever have to see the deceitful globe.
All at once, Celestia’s body failed her and the princess collapsed to the ground. Putting her mind back at the task at hand, she turned her body around and crawled through the mouth of the cave. The setting sun cast a beam of light that stretched to the center of the tomb that illuminated the sole occupant: a petrified draconequus eternally locked in an exaggerated expression of terror. Even in the face of absolute defeat, the creature still had a taste for the melodramatic.
The princess’ bemused contemplations were cut short by a dull pain in her chest. Celestia pulled herself toward the imprisoned beast as quickly as she could; she would be unable to keep her exhaustion and pain at bay for much longer. When she was half way to the statue, the ray of light had shortened noticeably and no longer reached the center of the cave. She stared miserably up at Discord with watery magenta eyes.
“Please... You’re the only one left... The only one who hasn’t turned on me...” she whispered, shocked at how hoarse and raw her voice had become. Discord internally chuckled at the delicious irony: after looking down at all those ponies who turned to others for support, now the alicorn wanted someone else’s help.
‘No, that’s not ironic,’ he corrected himself, ‘that’s genius.’
“Please... I’m begging you...” she whimpered as she squirmed closer. Her body grew heavier with each passing second as the sunlight continued to retreat from the cave.
“You said I would... I didn’t believe I would...” Her pleas were punctuated by pained grunts as she struggled on. “But now… I’m begging... Discord, please… help me.”
A deathly silence echoed through the cave. Celestia wasn’t sure what to expect. She thought something would have happened when she finally came to him for help. He’d break free? He’d give her new power? The cave continued to dim and the heavy quiet began to weigh down on the desperate princess.
“Why aren’t you here... You were always there...” The solid statue began to blear away and grow soft through the darkness and the tears. Terror began to seize her as the pain in her chest grew too strong to be ignored.
“I know it was real...” Celestia dropped her head and let the tears trickle down her cheeks and splash to the stone floor. The last traces of sunlight vanished under the horizon, and Equestria was dominated by an obtrusive night. The stars and the moon shone brighter and more brilliantly than they ever had.
“Help me… Take me back... Take me away from this... Let me be free again... Let me do it all again...” She hated herself. How could she let herself be so weak now? She was stronger than this. She was stronger than any other pony in Equestria.
Well, that was the end of that, then. Discord hummed as he felt his curse weaken and his hold over Celestia fade away. Just as well, it was always more satisfying when they worked it all out on their own. This was going to be hilarious.
She was stronger than this. She was stronger than any other pony in Equestria. She didn’t need any help, or someone to tell her how to act. Unlike those miserable traitors that couldn’t accomplish anything without five other ponies waiting to catch them when they inevitably fell, she was her strongest on her own. She controlled the sun and the moon, day and night; she was her own balance, her own best friend. She had no need for someone who would only drag her down into confusion and peril.
A burning in her chest jostled her from her thoughts as she let out an agonized moan.
Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie. What did she ever see in them? How easily they succumbed to evil; first Discord, and now Nightmare Moon. But Celestia had conquered them both before. She had fearlessly faced down Discord and forced the draconequus to submit to her. His mind games had failed him and he confessed all he knew to her.
And she listened…
And she believed him…
Celestia’s head began to throb in synchronization with the pain in her chest, now pounding as if her heart was trying to escape.
She believed him. The monster that murdered her parents. The beast that attacked her and her sister and her kingdom. The creature that delighted in turning friend against friend for his amusement. The villain that swore his undying hatred to her and then extended his friendship.
She listened to him. And she let him in. And she let him win.
As horrible understanding dawned upon her, Celestia felt a long lost warmth return to her, only to be washed away by a wave of fatigue that immediately stole the life from her. The pain was receding now, but all other feeling vanished with it.
Heavens above, no… What had she done? What had she done? She had sold her soul to the devil. She had attacked her loyal student and loving sister. She had abandoned her kingdom for selfish indulgences. She had killed. No, not killed, stars above, no, she had murdered.
Celestia wanted more than anything to run away. To run from this tomb, to run from her failure, to run back to Luna and beg for forgiveness she did not deserve. But she could not move—she could only writhe in sorrow beneath her enemy. This was all her fault. She let him do this to her. She had listened to his mendacious words and let herself be convinced to attack, to fear, to betray. She had done it all to herself.
Princess Celestia accepted with numb dolor that there was no peace in the end. The walls rattled and shook with a vicious, howling laughter, mocking her and shredding her apart. This was all that was left for her. Kind Churney’s generosity couldn’t help her now. There was no Captain Ratch to protect her from harm. Her father’s fearsome strength was long since extinguished. Her mother’s soothing love was lost to the ages. There was no Twilight to find inspiration from. She had no Luna to cry on.
Try as she might, she couldn’t smell her flowers. There were no songbirds chirping around her. The air was stale and damp as she took her final breath.
Celestia’s world went black.
158432
You do that and I'll be the happiest guy in the world.
this is the best story that I've ever read
OH GOD THIS IS SO SAD
Beautifully written, an absolute 5/5.
Well, I didn't expect that ending. I completely ignored the tags and just read. The characterization was near perfect, it really did feel like Discord himself corrupting Celestia, and not merely another fan portrayal of him. The story itself, albeit confusing to grasp what you're trying to show to the reader at times, wraps itself up nicely by the finale, leaving no questions unanswered. As for my point about missing the tags, I was expecting the ending to end up all happy and nice, with Celestia being found in time and 'cured'. That didn't happen, and for me, the story ended abruptly. That hit me like a brick wall. (A good thing, considering what you were going for and it was me who missed the signs to begin with) Very, very nice indeed.
Reading the first chapter of this, I was a little leery of continuing; I found the psychological elements that I was hoping for a little underwhelming. I thought I'd give it the benefit of the doubt, though, and let me tell you, I'm SO glad I did. In the latter half especially, this thing is a freaking psionic force. If I could rate this thing with stars, you would get all of them.
The confrontation at the end of chapter 7 was both chilling and soul-crushing - just from Celestia's verbal abuse alone, I could practically feel Twilight's soul fracturing - and the tragedy's culmination in the last chapter is so well realised, especially considering all of Discord's trollish foreshadowing in earlier chapters.
My only complaint is that the perspective switching was occasionally a little too frequent and confusing, but certainly not to the point of unreadability.
262385
Thanks so much for the review!
And yeah, the main complaint I get from people is about the perspective switching, hehe.
I don't normally support the "Celestia is crazy psychological wreck" storylines, but this was well-written, creative, and very Discord.
387398
I wasn't ever aware that this was a mentionably large field. Any other good stories about it?
387451
It's not a large field any more than "Twilight as Alicorn" is a large field, although I seem to run across them regularly for some reason. I don't have any to recommend, as I'm not a fan of the subject and I'm not even sure how to find them on purpose.
Discord got the last laugh in this one.
He really did. And at the same time secured his return.
Something tells me Equestria is nearing its Chaotic Doom.
---------------------------------
Lunar Justice
Yay, Discord won!
Sorry girls, I always did favor chaos over harmony
So, just finished. And I have two things to say:
824765 A) ... ...no. J-just no. ...Discord was one of the WORST things to happen to FIM, right under "A Friend in Deed" and "The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well". THERE, I SAID IT AND DON'T REGRET IT.
158457 B) Will there be a sequel?
929757
I've been hotly debating on making a sequel to Heavenly Turmoil for a long time. On one hand, I'd love to write some grimdark again, but on the other, I cannot think of any sort of way to continue the story without the sequel being the same thing all over again. Plus, I'm not entirely sure if the story really demands a sequel. Sometimes it's better to just let the audience speculate on whatever would come next on their own.
I am, however, currently in the process of writing a prequel~
Head Full of Cotton Candy. You should check it out.
929757
How could discord be one of the worst things? He is voiced by none other than John de Lancie, is not one of those generic, cookie-cutter villains like Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis, and is spontaneous and unpredictable. Overall I consider him to be the Mr. Mxyzptlk of FiM.
930293 Honestly, I think the way this ends is just hauntingly beautiful. Even to this day while reading of Discord and Screwball's misadventures, I can't get those final moments of Celestia out of my head. Maybe I'm too enthralled with ponies, or just appreciate modern literature more, but I'd even say that this resonates more with me than any of Shakespeare's tragedies (though honestly Romeo and Juliet were the equivalent of today's pretentious teenagers, and I despise those). A continuation just doesn't feel necessary.
Though of course, if some day you get incredible inspiration for a sequel and go for it, I won't be one to complain.
1101136
Thank you so much for saying!
Oh, that was deliciously dark, a fantastic story that was enjoyable to the very end.
Another thing:
Let me fix that for you.
1104844
Thanks so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!
And I think you just gave me an idea for the sequel to this: Luna becomes the Batman.
Yes, this is the best possible idea.
This was actually one of the first FiM Fan-Fictions that I ever read, and it's one of the biggest reasons why I'm still reading them!
To know that there is potential in the community for stories like THIS just boggles my mind, and makes me feel very fortunate to be a Brony.
Excellent story, my good man!
1156356
You sir have brightened up my day! I can't tell you what a tremendous compliment that is for me!
Really and truly, thank you.
Heh, just found this here after clearing out all the old stuff on my Google Drive (they keep pestering me with emails). This was probably one of the dark/grim fics I read, I blame it for starting my habit of jumping between sad and comedy every other chapter. I can't quit you sadness!
1422603
Hooray! Something's my fault!
I'm glad you liked it so much!
Celestia kind of DID deserve this, considering she put Discord away even when he was being a competent ruler just because she thought it was her right.
1553939
There was a bit about Discord killing her friends and family and torturing the world for fun for five hundred years, but I guess it's all about how each person wants to imagine Discord's rule.
But hey, if you're into Discord stories, check out my other one, "Head Full of Cotton Candy." I promise, it's a treat. Haw, i'm funnee.
1553958
I read that, and, as Discord said, he was only a baby then. And babies don't know right from wrong. And I have read Head full of Cotton Candy.
This... this was an amazing story. Haunting, emotional. It got to me, bro.
Then the ending killed it for me. Look, I loves me some grimdark. Hell, my story is about a serial killer in Ponyville! And I'm not saying that all stories need happy endings. But... hell, I think I just have to say it like this, which is going to get me flamed to no end I'm sure, but... Damn it, it's My Little Pony! The ending reminded me more of Tales From The Crypt or Saw than Friendship is Magic. The sucky thing is, I don't think there's any other way it could have ended, honestly. Sure, it could have been a bit more open-ended, like Celestia in a mental institution, drooling on herself and stripped of her magic. At least then there would be hope. Or hell, have Discord get punished for his crimes. THAT is my biggest pet peeve in fiction of any kind. I HATE it when the bad guy gets away scott free. I guess I love grimdark, but hate tragedies. Sucks that I read this before it was on here and it didn't have that tag. Or a good thing, because then I wouldn't have read it. But bad because I hate the ending. But good bec... dang it!
Damn it, this bugs the crap out of me! Seriously, this is the kind of "Everyone Dies", "Screw The World" ending that keeps me up at night. It makes me want to load my Smith & Wesson M&P-15, pull a Pinkie Pie, break the fourth wall and wreck shop on Discord.
So, to sum up, amazing tale, friend. Truly one of the best grimdark stories in the fandom. But I can't favorite because of the ending. I love Celestia, and to see... that happen, just kills the enjoyment.
Fantastic. At first I swore Discord was a delusion but the ending leaves me wondering. It's rare to see fics where Celestia goes mad.
2329442
Thanks so much! I hope you take a look at some of my other stories.
But if you're interested in stories about Celestia's uncertain insanity, there's a newer story Believing Stories that may interest you.
2329743
Wow, this story is impressive. It has far too few views for quality such as this. Thank you!
3245412
Thanks! But I really can't complain, it got a lot of buzz on EqD when I first submitted it there.
Of course all the comments on the story page got deleted because of some problem with the website so now no one will ever know
3418905
>Tragedy
>Dark
I don't know what you were expecting.
Finally, I read a story where Discord won for once. Good job ^^
...~rolls in feels~
3620723
I will never ever understand how bacon became the thing everyone wanted to focus on this chapter. Even on EqD it was the center of discussion!
It's some joke on me, I know it.
I hope you enjoy the story!
I love this, I absolutely love this! Celestia's dead, but for once I'm okay with that because it was executed so brilliantly. All the cruelty and manipulation that led to her downward spiral was wonderfully well done. This story deserves way more love, so enjoy my upvote and fave.
The graceful descends into madness and the sun sets forever.
You have a knack for making us like feeling bad about these stories.
Your Discord here is a to methodical and cruel.for my taste. Where's the fun in rubbing his victory into her face if she's no more?
PS. Ponies don't eat meat. Neither bacon nor steak.
Well, I was going to go on a short diatribe about this story, but 4788371 already did for me. The story just feels empty because of the things he detailed. And not dark or grimdark empty, but simply boring. It feels like an extended prologue to an actual story.
I can't say it was a waste of time to have read the story, but it feels like so much less than it could have been.
Still don't get it.
So, who gets the solar cutie mark now?
When I saw the ending: https://youtu.be/31g0YE61PLQ] but in all seriousness Celly should have seen this coming. Celestia should have known to take discords words with a grain of salt, if not she should have known (at least) that he was trying to manipulate her. She herself said that discord was her greatest enemy ( I think so ), she would known instantly that discord was lying. PS Gj on the story
Perhaps it is just my personal preference for psychological thrillers, but I was kind of disappointed that Discord was actually the reason for her going nuts. You painted sutch a beautifully accurate picture of what goes on inside your head during a psychotic break, that to have it turn out to be Discord manipulating her seems almost a letdown.
Don't get me wrong, I loved this story and it's prequel a Lot! Thank you for sharing them with us.
632584
The answer you seek is right at your side, but hearing it will make you run and hide. (= asking for help from those close to you but not doing so and bottling it up inside)
Face the music and let your lesson be learned, and then back to my cave is where you’ll return. (= realizing that even an all powerful being needs help and returning to the one that bestowed that lesson)
One choice will return you to your life so sweet, the other one leads to ruin complete. (= Accepting help from luna and the others will save you and release you from the torment but neglecting them and shunning their help leads to your end)
This is my interpretation and would accept feedback on how much i got correct/wrong :)
You can has review!