Greed can drive a pony to do crazy things. And when Manehattan con artist Masky catches wind of a story about the flashiest gems in all of Equestria, the smell of bits is just too strong to pass up. He'll drag his dragon accomplice through the hell that is an innocent rural town, contending with lecherous grannies, fresh country air, belligerent farmers, a score of hysterical dames, screaming children, and a dangerously business-minded Pinkie Pie to get his hooves on those jewels, or get somepony else to die trying.
Chapters (4)
I am currently linking this story to everybody I know. All two of them
This is still really hillarious, I so look forward to more
Well. This can only end... Hmm... Well? I believe.
Ladies and Gentlecolts, may I present to you the first two recruits of the Equestrian Aeronautics and Space Administrition.
These brave individuals, Masky and Patsy, have volunteered to be the first pony- Er... individuals to LAND on the moon in a little over a thousand years!
Pretty damn good..
"Though most ponies simply thought of the expansive halls of the hidden city as merely the ugly alleyways where the homeless spent their lives alternating between warming their hooves over a trash fire and throwing a mystery substance that was carefully-guarded secret mixture of sludge, muck, and ooze, the more in-the-know ponies understood it for what it was: the seedy underbelly of the city and the true society that ruled the lives of Manehattan’s citizens."
That is one hell of a sentence. I think it would flow much better if you split it up.
Also, you're missing a few " marks at the beginning of some of your early dialogue sentences.
Otherwise, very interesting. Continue writing this, please.
These guys can't be that stupid, can they?
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I blame the faulty option that lets you transfer documents from google docs to fimfiction. It always leaves out big chunks of text here and there and I can't always catch all of them. I'm perfect, it's everything else that needs to fix itself.
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If it's a stupid idea and it works, it's not stupid.
That said, I haven't decided if it's going to work or not yet. Stay tuned, kiddies!
Keys To The Kingdom - Motorhead
Description paragraph's to me seemed abit long, but otherwise I laughed out loud and nearly choked on my gum. I Track.
Bahahahahahahahahahahahahashahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Ha.
Zombies.
Twilight is 26?! Wow.
*sigh* We could have learned so much from Larry the Litigation Lizard too...
Pinkie's gonna ruin everything, isn't she.
I get the feeling that they're going to have to call in the Mayor to defuse the situation after Pinkie overloads herself on legislation.
Also, I have to agree with Patsy. The benefit of the doubt is one thing, but Twilight may be being a bit too nice here for the purposes of credulity. Still, I'm looking forward to more, especially when Applejack sees through these two like a page of Pinkie's new light reading.
THIS IS EPIC! Also I think he broke Pinkie. When's the next chapter.
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Might be a while. I'm alternating chapters of this with Head Full of Cotton Candy.
But I'm so glad you like it!
Can't wait til they meet up with Rarity. You should have them steal gems, and at the end of the chapter Rarity's like 'Now where did I put those gems?'
No, you cost yourself that time, when you decided to chase after these two doofi instead of getting back to work.
Huh? Hey! Why'd you cancel it? Out of all your stories, this one was my favorite!