• Member Since 19th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Oct 22nd, 2016

TheManWithTwoNames


T

Princess Celestia struggles to distinguish reality from illusion as Discord begins to seep into her brain. But... isn't Discord still imprisoned in stone?

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 65 )

Excellent so far! Only... Bacon? CELESTIA ATE BACON? Gomg she killed a pig :pinkiecrazy: :trollestia:

Bacon... :pinkiegasp: Celestia's a cannibal!

Oh lawdy, you posted one of my favorite fics on fimfiction.

I caution you to await a flurry of reviews as I read through it once again.

Your story is amazing.
Can i make a fan made trailer?

158432
You do that and I'll be the happiest guy in the world.

this is the best story that I've ever read

This is so sad :fluttercry:
But I did nearly pee myself laughing at the line 'He could kill a parasprite with a swat of his enormous moustache' BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH :pinkiehappy:
Ratch is best pony.

NOOOOOO NOT THE WONDERBOLTS :fluttercry: :raritycry:

OH GOD THIS IS SO SAD :applecry: :raritycry: :fluttercry: :raritydespair: :fluttershbad:
Beautifully written, an absolute 5/5. :heart:

Well, I didn't expect that ending. I completely ignored the tags and just read. The characterization was near perfect, it really did feel like Discord himself corrupting Celestia, and not merely another fan portrayal of him. The story itself, albeit confusing to grasp what you're trying to show to the reader at times, wraps itself up nicely by the finale, leaving no questions unanswered. As for my point about missing the tags, I was expecting the ending to end up all happy and nice, with Celestia being found in time and 'cured'. That didn't happen, and for me, the story ended abruptly. That hit me like a brick wall. (A good thing, considering what you were going for and it was me who missed the signs to begin with) Very, very nice indeed.

Reading the first chapter of this, I was a little leery of continuing; I found the psychological elements that I was hoping for a little underwhelming. I thought I'd give it the benefit of the doubt, though, and let me tell you, I'm SO glad I did. In the latter half especially, this thing is a freaking psionic force. If I could rate this thing with stars, you would get all of them.

The confrontation at the end of chapter 7 was both chilling and soul-crushing - just from Celestia's verbal abuse alone, I could practically feel Twilight's soul fracturing - and the tragedy's culmination in the last chapter is so well realised, especially considering all of Discord's trollish foreshadowing in earlier chapters.

My only complaint is that the perspective switching was occasionally a little too frequent and confusing, but certainly not to the point of unreadability.

262385

Thanks so much for the review!

And yeah, the main complaint I get from people is about the perspective switching, hehe.

Going through this story, it's definitely a lot more rough than your Cotton Candy one. But Discord is crazy well written, both your stories catch a side of him that a lot of writers sort've let slide away: dude can be upbeat and joking and still be pretty scary. :twilightoops:

I don't normally support the "Celestia is crazy psychological wreck" storylines, but this was well-written, creative, and very Discord.

387398
I wasn't ever aware that this was a mentionably large field. Any other good stories about it?

387451
It's not a large field any more than "Twilight as Alicorn" is a large field, although I seem to run across them regularly for some reason. I don't have any to recommend, as I'm not a fan of the subject and I'm not even sure how to find them on purpose.

156818 Probably actually Hay Bacon Sripts. (Hay Bacon Strips, Hay Bacon Strips, Hay Bacon Strips, Hay Bacon Strips!)

Discord got the last laugh in this one.
He really did. And at the same time secured his return.
Something tells me Equestria is nearing its Chaotic Doom.

---------------------------------
Lunar Justice

Yay, Discord won!

:rainbowhuh::applejackunsure::fluttershysad:

Sorry girls, I always did favor chaos over harmony

:twilightangry2::raritycry:

So, just finished. And I have two things to say:
824765 A) :twilightangry2: ... ...no. J-just no. ...Discord was one of the WORST things to happen to FIM, right under "A Friend in Deed" and "The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well". THERE, I SAID IT AND DON'T REGRET IT.
158457 B) Will there be a sequel?

929757
I've been hotly debating on making a sequel to Heavenly Turmoil for a long time. On one hand, I'd love to write some grimdark again, but on the other, I cannot think of any sort of way to continue the story without the sequel being the same thing all over again. Plus, I'm not entirely sure if the story really demands a sequel. Sometimes it's better to just let the audience speculate on whatever would come next on their own.

I am, however, currently in the process of writing a prequel~
Head Full of Cotton Candy. You should check it out.

929757

How could discord be one of the worst things? He is voiced by none other than John de Lancie, is not one of those generic, cookie-cutter villains like Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis, and is spontaneous and unpredictable. Overall I consider him to be the Mr. Mxyzptlk of FiM.

930293 Honestly, I think the way this ends is just hauntingly beautiful. Even to this day while reading of Discord and Screwball's misadventures, I can't get those final moments of Celestia out of my head. Maybe I'm too enthralled with ponies, or just appreciate modern literature more, but I'd even say that this resonates more with me than any of Shakespeare's tragedies (though honestly Romeo and Juliet were the equivalent of today's pretentious teenagers, and I despise those). A continuation just doesn't feel necessary.

Though of course, if some day you get incredible inspiration for a sequel and go for it, I won't be one to complain. :twilightsmile:

This story is amazing, better than much of the crap you see featured, and deserves a lot more attention. And I can't wait to finish!

Oh, that was deliciously dark, a fantastic story that was enjoyable to the very end.
Another thing:

Luna would be the ruler that Equestria needed, at any cost to herself.

Let me fix that for you.

Luna would be the ruler that Equestria needed, not the one it deserved.

1104844
Thanks so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

And I think you just gave me an idea for the sequel to this: Luna becomes the Batman.
Yes, this is the best possible idea.

This was actually one of the first FiM Fan-Fictions that I ever read, and it's one of the biggest reasons why I'm still reading them! :rainbowkiss:

To know that there is potential in the community for stories like THIS just boggles my mind, and makes me feel very fortunate to be a Brony. :pinkiehappy:

Excellent story, my good man!

1156356
You sir have brightened up my day! I can't tell you what a tremendous compliment that is for me!
Really and truly, thank you.

There is no appropriate combination of smilies to show the mix of dread, captivation, creepiness, sadness and fascination I'm feeling right now. This is how you write a tragedy.

Heh, just found this here after clearing out all the old stuff on my Google Drive (they keep pestering me with emails). This was probably one of the dark/grim fics I read, I blame it for starting my habit of jumping between sad and comedy every other chapter. I can't quit you sadness!

1422603
Hooray! Something's my fault!
I'm glad you liked it so much!

Celestia kind of DID deserve this, considering she put Discord away even when he was being a competent ruler just because she thought it was her right.

1553939
There was a bit about Discord killing her friends and family and torturing the world for fun for five hundred years, but I guess it's all about how each person wants to imagine Discord's rule.

But hey, if you're into Discord stories, check out my other one, "Head Full of Cotton Candy." I promise, it's a treat. Haw, i'm funnee.

1553958
I read that, and, as Discord said, he was only a baby then. And babies don't know right from wrong. And I have read Head full of Cotton Candy.

This... this was an amazing story. Haunting, emotional. It got to me, bro.


Then the ending killed it for me. Look, I loves me some grimdark. Hell, my story is about a serial killer in Ponyville! And I'm not saying that all stories need happy endings. But... hell, I think I just have to say it like this, which is going to get me flamed to no end I'm sure, but... Damn it, it's My Little Pony! The ending reminded me more of Tales From The Crypt or Saw than Friendship is Magic. The sucky thing is, I don't think there's any other way it could have ended, honestly. Sure, it could have been a bit more open-ended, like Celestia in a mental institution, drooling on herself and stripped of her magic. At least then there would be hope. Or hell, have Discord get punished for his crimes. THAT is my biggest pet peeve in fiction of any kind. I HATE it when the bad guy gets away scott free. I guess I love grimdark, but hate tragedies. Sucks that I read this before it was on here and it didn't have that tag. Or a good thing, because then I wouldn't have read it. But bad because I hate the ending. But good bec... dang it!

Damn it, this bugs the crap out of me! Seriously, this is the kind of "Everyone Dies", "Screw The World" ending that keeps me up at night. It makes me want to load my Smith & Wesson M&P-15, pull a Pinkie Pie, break the fourth wall and wreck shop on Discord.

So, to sum up, amazing tale, friend. Truly one of the best grimdark stories in the fandom. But I can't favorite because of the ending. I love Celestia, and to see... that happen, just kills the enjoyment.

156842

Pigs and horses aren't the same species, that wouldn't make her a cannibal any more than me eating bacon makes me a cannibal.

Speaking of which supposedly humans taste a lot like pig; I'd try one to test that rumour out, but humans are filthy creatures.

As for the story, off to a great start, I am going to enjoy seeing the remains of Celestia's mind when all is said and done.

Fantastic. At first I swore Discord was a delusion but the ending leaves me wondering. It's rare to see fics where Celestia goes mad.

2329442
Thanks so much! I hope you take a look at some of my other stories.

But if you're interested in stories about Celestia's uncertain insanity, there's a newer story Believing Stories that may interest you.

Ah. Good to see I'm not the only one who noticed the bacon. xD

Oddly enough, simply knowing that makes it bother me less.

Bacon comments aside (>.>) this really is rather fabulous. So far the writing and plot are both stellar, and the characterization is pretty good as well. Discord, in my opinion, is perfect. Only time will tell if you keep up the good work, but I have no doubts that you will!

~Dash

2329743

Wow, this story is impressive. It has far too few views for quality such as this. Thank you!

3245412
Thanks! But I really can't complain, it got a lot of buzz on EqD when I first submitted it there.

Of course all the comments on the story page got deleted because of some problem with the website so now no one will ever know

Well this got dark quickly.

3418905
>Tragedy
>Dark

I don't know what you were expecting.

Finally, I read a story where Discord won for once. Good job ^^

...~rolls in feels~

omg! Bacon!!:rainbowlaugh: looking at the comments everyone said something about the bacon :derpytongue2:


apart from that poor pig (just hope fluttershy doesn't find out), This is actually pretty good I've read 18 books on here and I can bet you this is going to be good :raritywink:

3620723

I will never ever understand how bacon became the thing everyone wanted to focus on this chapter. Even on EqD it was the center of discussion!
It's some joke on me, I know it. :derpytongue2:

I hope you enjoy the story!

“Sometimes I see stuff that isn’t there, too.”

:rainbowderp: dat sentence.... See knows...:pinkiecrazy:

Celestia grunted in frustration. What was she missing?

you are missing the pony that annoys you the most of twilight's friends

This was Discord -- was it foolish to try to make any sort of sense of all this?

Hmm... Weeeell... Discord actually made sence with his riddle "Twist and turns are my master plan, Then find the elements back where you began." I mean seriously that made perfect sence all you needed to do was forget about "Twist and turns are my master plan I mean that ment nothing, he praticaly said Find the elements of Harmony Back at Twilight's Library!

overall You made Discord even better. Love to see how this plays out :raritywink:

I love this, I absolutely love this! Celestia's dead, but for once I'm okay with that because it was executed so brilliantly. All the cruelty and manipulation that led to her downward spiral was wonderfully well done. This story deserves way more love, so enjoy my upvote and fave.

The graceful descends into madness and the sun sets forever.

You have a knack for making us like feeling bad about these stories.
Your Discord here is a to methodical and cruel.for my taste. Where's the fun in rubbing his victory into her face if she's no more?

PS. Ponies don't eat meat. Neither bacon nor steak.

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