Iceheart was just a normal pegasus just relaxing in ponyville, until one night of walking in the woods he is attacked by an unknown monster and is contacted by the princess to be something he thought he would never be, a demon hunter.
Note: the picture is not mine I just found it online.
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It has potential their is no doubt about that
But make sure to proofread it up and be wary of your spacing, don't make it a wall of words.
and for the Main Character of the story, provide some background, provide some information of his past on some parts, not only does it clear it up nicely on who he is, it adds more meat to the story(Words)
But all in all keep it up and make sure to proofread and you got a hell'va story to read
Well... okay. We've established said main character is a 'badass.' Alcohol, swearing, guns (how they work I dunno), and fearlessness. But does this character truly have any internal flaws about him (IE: something that prevents him from being a completely 2-dimensional character?)
Also, question. Are we holding onto the shows continuity or is this a much more dark and grittier Equestria? If we retain the show's boundaries, are we to assume that something went wrong in that Celestia has to recruit and untrained anonymous pony to hunt down some of most murderous creatures in this peaceful society?
Overall, It's and interesting concept well worth looking in to. Focus on your grammar and spacing issues, as walls of text tend to make it much harder to read at times.
Good, good. I see you have fixed a lot of it. something purely aesthetic is do this "Blah blah blah" instead of " Blah blah blah"
I'm instead of im
that last line was epic
not even half a chapter and you already had my attention
598802 Well thank you. :)
Srsly this is funny^^ I also like the type of your writing.
I love my job
You dont suck at writing. Its really fun reading this deamon hunters and follow their lives. Just bring more attention to details and make you chapters a little bit longer. Try to bring a relationssjip to the main charackter. I think this is gonna work really well.
787164 Thank you man
hehe no problem Dude. Srsly keep on writing its kinda of funny
Um.....it has been quite a while since I last posted anything....its not even because i'm busy but because I got really lazy and forgot about this story. So....I don't know if i'll finish this or not. Unless someone wants me too. If you do just tell me and I'll pump out this final chapter.