Dark Shadow sat in his chair, facing a window behind his desk. Everything was going to plan. Even though he wasn't able to get every demon in Equestria he had gathered enough for a small army. A small army that would soon be taking over Ponyville and it would become our checkpoint. Then they would take Fillydelphia, then Manehatten, finally Canterlot. They would kill the princess and he would take her place.
A couple knocks on the door took him out of his fantasy."Come in." The door opened and in stepped, his always faithful assistant, Raven. Raven was a very peculiar case. She herself was not of demon origins, she was a pony through and through. He never really understood why she worked with a monster like him. Actually they had met years ago. A member of his slowly growing army had brought her back. The demons intentions was to tie her in the back and use her for sex. Occasionally feeding her so that the meat would still pump blood and scream. But when he saw, he saw a spark in her eyes. A spark that screamed for leadership and was fueled by hatred.
"Sir, we have gathered as many soldiers as possible. They are ready to strike." Finally, he thought. Finally his plan to cover Equestria in the blood of his residents and cover it in darkness would see the light of the day."We leave tomorrow."
I woke up in my bed in a state of transcendent bliss. I don't know what it was, the second I woke up a smile planted itself on my face and refused to leave. It was probably last night, the perfect combination of alcohol and masturbation and put me in a zen like state. I finally gained the muscle to lift up my covers and get out of my bed.
I walked into my bathroom and turned on my shower. I turned to see my reflection in the mirror. I was just examining my handsome and dare I say stunning face when I noticed something I have never noticed before. A small cut right under my right eye."Uh." I said. After a couple pokes with my hoof I stepped in to my shower. I don't feel like describing me being naked and cleaning myself so I'll just skip to the end.
I hopped out of the shower and grabbed a towel to dry myself. After I was at adequate dryness level I stepped out of my bathroom and headed downstairs to my kitchen. I brewed myself a cup of coffee and sat down at my table. Today I was going to get my partners to help us with the upcoming invasion. I feel like we have a couple of days before they strike. Oh shit, they're probably gonna stay here. That means I have to hook them up with beds and shit. Fuck.
My thought was interrupted by a loud knock at the door. I set my coffee down and got up out of my chair. I trotted over to my door and opened it. Revealing the large white figure on the other side of the door."Princess Celestia?" I said surprised she was here."May I come in?" She asked. I nodded and moved out of the way. Due to her size she had to dip her head while coming in to avoid hitting her head.
Once she was inside she took a quick overview of her surroundings,"Nice house." She said."Um..thank you. So what are you doing here princess?" She stopped observing my messy house and turned to me."Oh I just came here to inform you about your partners Iceheart."
"Oh cool. Who are they?" I asked."Well I got Brave, but besides him I could only get one other demon hunter. His name is Grimes and he's....well he is different." What she said and the tone she said it in was more then enough for me to raise my eyebrow."What do you mean?" I asked."He is a demon. And not only that he is also immortal. Luckily he doesn't work with any demon-like entities so he should be easy to work with."
"Alright I can work with that." I said. I was going to simple leave it at that, but then a thought flew by my mind."Hey princess Celestia I have a question. Why do we keep demon hunting a secret?"
Suddenly Celestia's face changed. Changed from royal superiority to a mix of horror and sadness. Celestia sighed,"If you really must know then I will tell you Iceheart. There are many things you do not know, things you've never seen, ponies you ever heard of, and worlds you have never experienced. The thing very unique about Equestria is the ponies who inhabit it. The love each pony has for each other and the fact that they want to help and not hurt each other. But there are other worlds where the inhabitants are not as fortunate. Worlds where they do horrible things do each other and their love for each other is almost nowhere to be found. Worlds where horrible things are around each corner. But not Equestria, this place is filled with love and innocence and I don't want to ruin that by telling them there are monsters who would do horrible things to them just because it's in there nature."
"The job you have taken up Iceheart is something not a lot of ponies can do. Not a lot of ponies can handle the type of responsibility and burden you have. Most would go insane or have scars from realizing what you have. I'm sorry I've gone off on a tangent but you know have your answer.I must get back to the palace. Goodbye." Celestia turned herself away from me and turned to the door. She squeezed herself through my door and closed it behind her.
My mind was at a loss. I wasn't expecting an answer like that. I was still processing what I had heard. And what was she talking about, other worlds? There are other worlds? Thats....fucking awesome! I mean this is awesome, I always knew there were more planets with life then ours. My friends and I in middle school were huge geeks about stuff like this. Constantly reading sci-fi novels that cemented our status as huge geeks. But I don't think that makes me a geek, it was my crippling addiction to the arcades that cemented it for me.
After I snapped myself out of thinking how many quarters I put into Black Tiger and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles I finally set my course back to my kitchen table to finish my cup of coffee.
It was about three o clock when I heard the knock on the door. I was in my living room laying on the couch passing the time by listening to some records I actually bought before I was attacked and went on to become a demon hunter. I got up from my couch and took off the record off the record player. I slipped the record in its sleeve and put it in the shelf where I kept most of my records. I trotted over to the door and opened it, revealing Brave and what I assumed was Grimes.
Brave was standing outside, him rocking his bright orange and black mane shining in the sunlight. He had replaced his black leather jacket with a sweater vest of all things. I guess a black leather jacket isn't really fashionable this time of year. Right behind him was Grimes. He was a unicorn like Brave, he had light brown fur and a dark brown mane. He looked like a basic generic pony until I saw his eyes. His eyes were unlike anything I have ever seen. His iris was bright purple, and everything else, all black. He was carrying a rather large gym bag and he had a look on his face that said he didn't really want to be here.
"Iceheart." Said Brave."Brave." I turned my eyes to Grimes,"And you must be Grimes." I said but I only got a glare from him as a response."Come in." I opened the door as wide as I could and stepped to the side to make way for my new guests. Brave walked inside and Grimes soon followed. Grimes scanned my house and said his first words."Fuck this place is sad." Admittedly not the best way to introduce yourself.
Grimes threw his gym bag on my couch. He turned to me and then said his second sentence,"So where are the nearest prostitutes?" This made me raise my eyebrows so high I wouldn't be surprised if they flew off my head, crashed through the ceiling and collided with Rainbow Dash.
"What do you mean where are the prostitutes?" I asked him."I mean where are the ponies that I give them my bits and I have sex with them for hours on end." I was still just at a loss. Was he seriously asking me where the prostitutes in Ponyville are, if there are any prostitutes in Ponyville.
I then saw Brave standing in my kitchen, brewing himself up a cup of coffee."Don't mind him." Brave said to me."The crazy bastard has been asking me questions like that the whole way over here. You'll get used to it." Grimes had not taken what Brave said well. He had quickly turned himself to Brave,"Oh look who's talking mr sweater vest. Fucking Rick Santorum over here."
Grimes turned away from both of us and headed over to his gym bag. He opened it up and after rifling through it a little bit he suddenly pulled out a needle, he held out one of his hooves and quickly jabbed himself with the needle and pressed down on it.
Now I don't usually see stuff like that a lot, or at all. So I was little bit freaked out when he did this. But I was able to hold myself back from asking "What the fuck are you doing?!". I needed to appear friendly to somepony that obviously not well. So I simply asked him a question, "Is....that heroin?"
He simply turned to me,"Of course its heroin." Never thought I would hear that sentence said so casually. I waltzed over to his bag and began looking in his bag of goodies. One thing I saw that I'm definitely familiar with, a big bag of pot. One thing I saw definitely needed some explanation to me. I pointed to said object and turned to Grimes,"Is that a...dildo?"
Without even looking at me he responded,"Of course it is." It seemed the more I know about Grimes the less I wanted to know about him, and I barely knew him."Are you some sort of sexual freak or something." I asked him.
"No I am not a sexual freak." He said."I'm just over three hundred years old and thats when things start to get boring. Sure it seems gross when you're thirty years old but after two hundred years you sort've become more open to things."
The conversation about what age you'll start putting things in your ass was thankfully interrupted by another knock on my door. I was to far away to answer it so Brave answered it for me. Twilight then walked through the door and thanked Brave. But before I could ask her anything Grimes jumped over my couch and landed right beside her.
"Ummmm." He said looking at her intently, as if he was analyzing her,"Since there are no prostitutes here in Ponyville I guess you will do." I immediately pointed my hoof at Grimes,"You are not fucking my assistant." He rolled his eyes,"Fine." He walked away from her and joined Brave in the kitchen.
I walked over to Twilight."Who in Celestia's name was that?" She asked. "Thats Grimes, he's an immortal demon so excuse him. So what brings you here?" "I came over to tell you that I figured out the spell to help protect ponies inside and that i'm going to do preparations tonight." She said.
"Good, the demons are coming and the sooner we prepare the better off we'll be." I turned to see what Grimes and Brave were doing. Brave was sitting at the kitchen table enjoying his coffee. Grimes on the other hand had found his way to my liquor cabinet and was guzzling down a bottle of peach schnapps I kept in there. I didn't really mind it that much, was probably never going to drink it anyway.
"Alright then." Said Twilight."Are you sure you're able to handle those two?" She said, pointing to my new partners."Of course." I said."Alright then." Twilight turned around and opened the door,"See ya later." she said and left.
I sighed. I walked back to my couch and collapsed. As my back and neck absorbed themselves into the couch I turned to see Grimes bag. I was scanning the bag looking for even more weird stuff in his bag when I noticed something. After oulling myself closer I grabbed the bag and held it up so I could see what it was, and I definitely am used to what was in this bag. A big bag of weed.
Grimes, Brave and I both sat on the couch. The bong Grimes had brought in his bag sat on my living room table, next to my porno magazines that I never cleared away. We had blasted through all of my music, we had listened to all of my Hoodie Allen records, my Childish Gambinos, hell we even listened to my old MC Chris album I bought back in middle school. And the weed had helped the music sound as good as when I first heard it.
All three of us had taken multiple rips and it put us in a state of perfect happiness. The weed was also really good stuff, not like the stuff I bought in middle school, this was the kind of weed that would make you smile and if you tried to frown it just came right back. It almost hurt not smiling.
I sat on my couch listening to music when I looked over to my partners. Grimes looked as if he was almost asleep, like he was thinking about something deeper then he ever thought before. I looked over at Brave and and saw the bastard had found my pepperidge farms. He was sticking his hoof in the bag trying to find nourishment until he finally just tipped the bag over wishing for food to come out. His wish did not come true.
"Iceheart do you have any snacks or stuff to eat?" Asked Brave."Not really.' I replied,"I haven't gotten any groceries so this place is pretty barren." Thinking about food was making me hungry. We needed to find a place to get something to eat. Then it clicked in my head,"Why don't we go to Sugercube Corner?' They got cakes and stuff."
"Yeah I heard about that place." Said Brave,"I hear the cupcakes there are amazing." "Alright then lets go." Brave and I both stood up, while Grimes continued to lay there on my couch, as if he didn't hear us."Grimes you coming?" I asked. After about 2 seconds he responded,"Yeah sure, I could go for some cupcakes right now." Grimes finally got up from the couch, his head meeting Brave and mine.
All three of us headed to the door and went outside. Now our journey to the Sugary Corner would now commence.
Its only after writing 9 chapters of this story am I starting to realize how much I suck at writing.