Demon Hunter

by The Dude

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"So how did the machines work?." asked Barry ( the royal engineer, and maker of my weapons ).

"Oh Celestia I love these things, seriously just point and BANG, seriously man if you made bigger holes, I would fuck the holes, these things are sexy."

"Thats one reason I didn't make bigger holes, sides they'ed get jammed pretty quickly."

"Oh and I named both of these things Ebony and Ivory, get it? "

"Yes i've played Devil may cry man." Said Barry.

"Oh thank god somebody got that reference, I swear to celestia if one more person asked why I named them that I would just explode." I said.

"Well one way to fix that is to not name your guns after something in a game, besides they're the same color ."

"Yeah I know but it lets people know what im into, kinda like wearing a t shirt that has pictures of old tv shows on them."

"Ok," Said Barry " Oh I forgot the princess wants too talk to you about something."

"Alright" I said, then I left Barry and walked too the Princess's room, I saw the guard but he looked at me and nodded and opened the door for me.

I looked In the door and saw the princess "Uh princess can I come in? "

"Come in, come in, guard close the door " she said then looked and the guard and he closed the door.

''Soooo Barry said you wanted to talk to me about something? "

"Yes, how are you liking your equipment? " She asked.

"The shooty things are really cool and so is the sword, but im not really digging the outfit, can I get this in red? "

"Oh of course."

[One red coat later]

"There we go." (I had to admit, I rocked red coats better then I thought I would).

"Any way," Said the princess, "One of my students is actually very interested in demons, even though she is not a fighter by anyway, and would like to see one but until now I didn't know a demon hunter that I could trust so I want to ask you if you can escort my student along some encounters if it wouldn't interfere."

"So you want me too have a partner? "

"Well yes, she lives in the Ponyville just like you, and I want you to meet her to learn about the value of something you seem to lack: Friendship."

I looked at her a little puzzled, " Friendship?? why would I need to learn about friendship, I can double backflip and shoot someone in midair then stab them. Friendship can't really teach me something like that or how to do that better."

" Friendship is very important, and looking at your history, is something you haven't experienced. You were a writer, wrote 2 books, almost no friends."

"You sound like my mother."

"Look it's just I really want her to get this demon obsession out of her head, and it might be good if you made some friends."

"Alright fine, whats her name?"

"Twilight Sparkle, her house is the giant tree you can't miss it, and I want you to meet her as soon as you get back into Ponyville. Im going to send her a letter telling her of your arrival."
Well I knew I couldn't get out of this so I didn't argue any further.

"Fine."

The trip back home was pretty nice. Lots of clouds, nice weather, almost makes you forget that your carrying weapons made to kill creatures formed from pure evil incarnate. But then I remembered I was supposed to meet that Twilight so I changed my course for the giant tree house in the middle of town. I landed on the ground and looked around. Everything looked the same. Ponies were relaxing, talking, buying things, I even saw lyra and bon-bon sitting on a bench talking. They were a cute couple.

I started walking for the giant tree when I noticed a lot of ponies staring. Either it was my dark red coat or......no it was the red coat. I trotted up to the giant tree and knocked on the door. After a couple of seconds the door opened and the first thing I saw was a tiny little purple dragon. Now I've seen a dragon once in my life and compared to that this little dragon looked as terrifying as a cute baby filly playing with a tiny puppy in a sea of gumdrops. He looked like a pussy is what im trying to get a cross.

"Oh you must be that pony the princess talked about in the letter, come in come in." Said the tiny purple dragon. I walked into the seemingly spotless house and took my coat, carrying my guns and sword inside, on a little coat rack on the side of the door.

"Twilight he's here!!"

"Ok Spike, i'm coming." Said a voice from up the stairs, and then came down Twilight sparkle, a purple unicorn with a weird sparkly cutie mark."Oh hi you must be the hunter celestia was talking, about mr ......."

"Iceheart." I said.

"Well mr Iceheart i'm very excited to be on some demon hunts with you in the future, the princess says that you well trained and know what you're doing, plus i've been studying all about demons, vampires, ghouls, and black ghouls.

"Seems like you are really excited about finding some monsters huh?"
Twilight looked at me super wide eyed, "Oh yes I can't wait, but the princess has also told me it's been a while since you were in Ponyville and since were going to be partners for a short while I think we should maybe discuss this more over drinks tonight if that's ok."

"Thats fine I guess." It seemed a little odd that somepony wanted to talk over drinks especially a mare.

"Great well meet me at the Drunken Pony at 8:00 ok?"

"Sounds great," I said, I was ready to go home and just hang out in my old house for a little bit and it did sound good to have a drink or two. "Well it was good meeting you Twilight, but im going to go home and relax for a bit."

"Oh ok well it was good meeting you." she said.
"You too." I said grabbing my coat and putting it on.

"Bye!" said Twilight but instead of speaking I just waved back as I closed the door and headed to my house.

For some reason I felt like an asshole, maybe I acted like one but that wasn't my intent. But after fixing my coat so my guns were bumping against me I headed on back to my old house.

---

I unlocked my door and opened to find my house in exactly the same way I left it. Except just very dusty. As soon as I could I raced to my couch and immediately jumped on it. Oh celestia it felt so good. I looked at my table in front of my couch,it carried empty vodka bottles, potato chips, and an old copy of playpony. Best subscription ever. As soon as I saw that I laughed a bit, then remembered theres probably more in my mailbox. After a trip to the mailbox I walked back in my house carry 3 playpony's some bills and some junk mail I settled back on my couch. After all that all I could do was look back at my training.

---

"..And then when the punch comes in you block inside and then you can back hoove or just punch as hard as you can." Said the martial arts instructor who was teaching me moves for my future battles involving monsters, zombies, or whatever.

"Think you can do that?"

I nodded at him " I guess."
"Ok" He stepped back and punched as fast as he can, but the 2 weeks before this have raised my reflexes a bit so I blocked it and threw my right hoof right in his face. But I sort of lost control and actually hit him and my punch sent him flying across the air and landing him on the ground.

"Oh shit im really sorry man!" I said running towards him.

"No no that's alright." He got up with a little bit of blood coming out of his nose. "When you're training to be a demon hunter some fierceness is required son." He walked up to me and put out his hoof, "Put her there."
I reached and grabbed his hoof and shook for the brief second I could before he pulled me forward and slammed his knee in my stomach, knocking the wind out of me. I fell on the ground holding my stomach while I heard my instructor laughing his ass off.

''Hahahahaha, and to be a demon hunter you need some resilience!"

I had to laugh a bit when he said that, if im gonna train to fight evil monsters I should have a little sense of humor.

I snapped out of my little trance 10 minutes later to find myself stil laying on the couch. I stood up and went up to my bedroom. I opened the door seeing the sun shining through the window onto my bed. I jumped right on my bed and even though some dust flew up in the air this was a great feeling I had missed over my training period. Man I felt like I could just fall asleep right then and there. But that feeling was interrupted by the fact I hadn't eaten in a couple hours and my stomach was demanding its daily payment of food.

I got up and walked to the kitchen and checked inside my fridge only to find most of my stuff to be moldy and stale. So after throwing out all the food in my fridge I kept looking and finally found some cashews that were in my drawer, yeah there not the best food to eat but I wasn't going to go and buy a sandwich or some new food ( I'm far too lazy to do something like that ). I took my brand new food source and took them to the couch and looked at the time. 5:45 uhh, well I had some time so I grabbed a handful of cashews and opened up one of the playpony's I brought in.

---

I waited inside of the Drunken pony sitting down at a small table with my drink and my glass. I came early because I wanted to get a drink before Twilight showed up. She kinda seemed like that annoying step sister who constantly obsessed over something all the time so I wanted to be at least a little tipsy before we talked. She did seem nice though, it would suck if I had to escort some whiny little bitch on my demon hunts. On the table was a small glass with ice in it, and some grape flavored vodka (surprised they had that really).

I left my coat and weapons at home since I didn't think I would need them right now, besides eventhough im a demon hunter I still want to live as a normal pony. I don't think I could just be badflank demon hunter all the time and not live a normal life,well as normal as a demon hunter could have a normal life.

I was going to ponder this more but then I saw Twilight. But for some reason it looked like she brought friends with her. One was a orange-ish looking pony with an apple cutie mark. One was pink with a strange balled up hair do and balloons as her cutie mark. One I remembered was the white purple twirly haired bitch I talked about earlier. Then there were two others, Rainbow dash and Fluttershy. I know there names because we went to school together from middle school to high school. Actually I remembered having this HUGE crush on fluttershy back in the 7th grade, I don't know she just seemed so different from the other mares.

"Oh Iceheart you're already here." said Twilight galloping over with her posse of pony friends.

"Yeah I came a little early for a drink."

"Sorry but when I told my friends I was going for a drink they insisted on coming and meeting you. So let me introduce you, this is Applejack." she said while pointing to the orange one."This is Pinkie Pie." she said pointing at the pink one who then smiled wider then I thought ponily possible." This is Rarity." she said while pointing to the white one, so now I the name of the pony I tried to hit on, " And this is Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash."

"Hi." I said.

"Howdy." Said Applejack as she sat down with all the other ponies at the table.

Rainbow Dash turned to me and started speaking. " When Twilight said she was going to a bar to meet a stallion I became really interested thinking Twilight has a boyfriend."

"Rainbow!" Said Twilight looking at Rainbow Dash red faced.

"No" I said "Lets just say she's going to be my colleague for a little while."

"Colleague doing what." Said Rarity.

"Umm........" I had no idea what to say. Celestia doesn't want to make the fact Im a demon hunter, it's a pretty secretive job to have.

"Oh Iceheart they can keep secrets. He's a demon hunter." Said Twilight.

"Demon hunter??" Said Applejack understandably looking a little puzzle."I thought they were myths and legends an stuff like that."

"I'm actually more surprised that HE'S a demon hunter." Said Rarity. " Hes scrawnier then what I would a demon hunter should look like."
I was admittedly a little offended by her remarks, just because I'm not pure muscle like Big Mac (Yes I know him, we were both drunk and we talked a bit once at a party).

I looked at her grabbing my glass," You'd be surprised." and took a drink from my glass.
After that it was silent for a second but then Rarity started talking about dresses she was making, then Rainbow started talking an upcoming Wonderbolts show, and then Applejack started talking about,I think her sister, Applebloom who wrecked the kitchen with her friends trying to get a cooking cutie mark or something, I tuned out most of their conversation.

---

I admittedly got a lot drunker then I wanted. Not drunk enough for me to start pissing outside jibbering nonsense, but just more drunk then I would like to be. Half of the bottle was left but it was like 10.30 so I wasn't really plastered but a little more buzzed then comfortable.

Rarity was now talking about some hot stallions she met in Canterlot that apparently flirted with her while she was getting coffee. But instead of giving a shit about what she was talking about something caught my eye, somepony was drunkenly threatening some pony I think because he accidently spilled some drink.

"You fuckin asshole, you spilled your drink all over me!" Said the unknown pony.

A very scared stallion looked at him and said "Look man I'm sorry, it was an accident."

"No no no no you fucking listen here." He then grabbed the pony and pulled him very close." If you don't get out of here I will kick the shit out of you, you get that?"

The scared pony nodded and was then thrown to the ground and immediately ran out of the bar.

I turned to Rainbow Dash and asked "Hey who's that guy over there?"

"Oh" She turned to me," That's Brawny Boulder, he moved in a couple months ago and hes been acting like a real jerk. But the thing is he is really tough so nopony wants to mess with him".

While talking we had not noticed that Brawny had moved near our table right behind Fluttershy.

"Hey pretty" He said putting his hoove on the table and looking at Fluttershy "You look like you need a big strong sexy stallion, how about I buy you a drink?"

Futtershy looked at him straight terrified, "Uh no thanks."

"I don't think you understand." Suddenly his voice filled with anger,"looks like you NEED a stallion."

Applejack stood up, " She said no."

"SHUT UP BITCH." He yelled at Applejack and then back to Fluttershy. "Now listen bitch..."

I cut him off mid-sentence, "Hey fuckhead!" I yelled at him and it seemed to get his attention."She said no. Leave asshole."

He looked at me angrily, "Oh, and what if I don't?"

"Then I'll kick your flank."

"Really" He said then quickly went in for a punch but I proved that my training didn't go do waste by blocking his hoof, punching him in the face, then grabbing his face and slamming his face onto the table and grabbed his hoof and put it behind his back.

"Really. Now look I don't want you to come over her again ok?"

He responded by grunting really loudly then turning his neck and saying "Fuck you".

I immediately raised his head and punched him in the face as hard as I could then I grabbed his head and slammed it into my knee then slammed his face into the table and put his hoof behind his back again.

I leaned in close to him,"Say that again I dare you." he smartly chose to not respond this time.

"Alright" I said, "Now I want you to leave this bar now, ok?"

This time he stupidly chose not to respond, so I raised his arm higher behind his back until I heard the cracks and screams.

"AHHHHHH" He screamed, "Ok ok ok."

"Now I want you to say your sorry, ok?"

"Im....im sorry." I could see he was crying a bit now, but I can't blame him, this flank whooping will probably change ponies opinion on him from big scary tough pony to about as tough and scary as a newborn filly, and the crying probably won't help him.

"Alright Im gonna let go and if I hear you mess with her more I will find you and break this hoof, then the other one, then your hooves, and then your neck. Is that clear?"
"Ye..ye..yes." He said through his tears.

"Good." I quickly let go and pushed him to the ground next to our table and then I saw him wipe away his tears and run out of the bar.
I slowly took back my seat now noticing other ponies staring at me, some with smiles, and the looks of my table mates.

"Well." Said Rarity awkwardly, "I guess I was wrong about you Iceheart."

I would have started gloating if an owl didn't fly into the bar and next too Twilight dropping a letter. She grabbed it and started reading. "Iceheart Celestia says she wants you go investigate a disturbance out a couple miles away."

"Alright fine." I stood up out of my chair and looked at Twilight, "But I need get my stuff,so I'll meet you at your house." Then I looked t all of the friends she brought, " Oh and It was nice meeting all of you by the way." Then we walked out of the bar and then I got my stuff and headed to Twilight's house. I saw her standing outside carrying a saddlebag.

"You ready?" I said to her.
"Yep."
"Well alright then." Then we headed out to investigate.

Most of the walk took place in silence. That is until Twilight broke it.

"Did you really have to do that?"

I looked at her puzzled, "What do you mean?"

"You know, did you have to almost break Brawny's arm and make him cry."

"Well it seemed like the right thing to do. He was an asshole."

"Well..." She sighed and looked away and then back at me, " I guess he was, but thank you for standing up to Fluttershy."

"No problem." After walking for about 30 minutes I asked "Are we close?"

"We are really close." We kept walking until we apparently found the place we were told to go. An open field. There was one thing in the field, a scarecrow hung on a stick. But then I noticed something right next to the scarecrow, it looked like a pig pile of red, but after we got closer and saw the crows pecking out the eyes we saw what it really was. A dead body.

"Ohh Celestia." Said Twilight, she looked sick looking at it. I however was conditioned to stuff like in this is training so I wasn't bothered.

"What did this?" I looked around, this body was fresh, the thing that did this wasn't far away.

"Heeheehehehehehe."

"Twilight I don't completely think this is funny."

She looked at me baffled,"That wasn't me."

"Hehehehehehehehahahahahahahaha." I finally saw who was giggling. The scarecrow.

"HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH." The scarecrow raised its head now giggling at unmeasuable volume, then it stopped laughing and looked directly at us. It had a smile as wide as a river and had teeth as sharp as my sword.

"Oh celestia thats a Giggling Gouge." Said Twilight.

"A what?" I looked at her completely clueless to what she said.

"A Giggiling Gouge was a creature made by Discord to kill and cause anarchy, they are able to change what they look like to blend into their environment."

The gouge then jumped off then on top the post where it used to hang and then released its claws. They were bloodsoaked but you could tell they were razor sharp.

"Alright then." I said pulling out my sword."How do you kill it?"

"You need to cut off the head."

"Sounds easy." The creature jumped of the post and landed right in front of me. It tried to swipe its claws but I blocked it with my sword then I tried to slash it but it jumped backwards and tried to attack again. I slashed my sword but it jumped straight over me and when it landed it swiped its claws at me. Luckily I was able to jump then I struck my sword down when I landed.

It sliced off the arm of the creature and was accompanied by a loud "EEEEEAAHHHHH" from the creature. It backflipped away from me and went in the worst direction it could, in Twilight's. I immediately pulled out both my guns and started shooting, I was able to get it in the leg and the chest a couple times but it barely slowed it down. It was only feet away Twilight so I put my guns away and ran for it. Before it could get to her I had jump kicked the Gouge knocking it to the ground. It rolled and immediately got back on its feet, heading straight for us. I pulled out my sword and waited for the right
oppurtunity.

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!!!" Screamed Twilight obviously scared for her life,"ATTACK IT!!!"
The gouge,now only feet away, jumped and prepared it's claws to kill the both of us. The second it was close enough I swiped my sword at the creature, cutting off it's head. The gouge fell to the floor,spurting blood, limp and headless.

I turned to Twilight and gave a quick chuckle,"For a second back there it seemed like you didn't trust me."

Authors Note

I tried to improve this one, and sorry the other ones will probably have more actuall demon hunting. I hope you like it. Now the text is orange.

Comments

[Distrance]

Well... okay. We've established said main character is a 'badass.' Alcohol, swearing, guns (how they work I dunno), and fearlessness. But does this character truly have any internal flaws about him (IE: something that prevents him from being a completely 2-dimensional character?)

Also, question. Are we holding onto the shows continuity or is this a much more dark and grittier Equestria? If we retain the show's boundaries, are we to assume that something went wrong in that Celestia has to recruit and untrained anonymous pony to hunt down some of most murderous creatures in this peaceful society?

Overall, It's and interesting concept well worth looking in to. Focus on your grammar and spacing issues, as walls of text tend to make it much harder to read at times.

[The F8ful 1]

I'm instead of im