//------------------------------// // Chapter 1 // Story: Demon Hunter // by The Dude //------------------------------// [5 months ago] Oh Celestia I fucking hate hangovers. This particular one was the equivalent of a little blade constantly spinning mushing my brain into delicious brain smoothie.When I woke up I immediately ran to my bathroom and spent what seemed like weeks emptying my stomach into my toilet. Because of my hangover I spent most of my day inside swearing at myself for the night before, which consisted mostly of shots of whatever I could afford. After about 4 hours and a lot of aspirin I could start thinking clearly since most of the thoughts before then were mostly " Ow this fucking hurts. ow".When midnight came I felt better so I went outside of my house in ponyville and flew too the woods and went for a walk. The wind in my face felt really good against my mane. I saw some log and sat down to relax and chill. Now that it didn't feel like a fire dragon was fucking my skull with a sword I finally could think straight. I remember drinking shot after shot of vodka so cheap it tasted like paint thinner instead of something drinkable. But still, now I could remember myself trying drunkenly to hit on some white pony with a weird purple twirly hair, all I can remember is how highly she talked of herself like she was the goddamn princess. Anyway I continued thinking these thoughts with a smile on my face remembering how stupid I can act drunk when I noticed something growling at me behind the bushes. It wasn't a deer. It wasn't a bunny. My best description would be a large pig, red eyes, sharp drooling teeth, and black skin that seemed to constantly move. "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" went the pig monster creature thing. Now my first thought (beside HOLY FUCKING CELESTIA WHAT IS THAT AHHHHHHHHHH) was run as fast as I can. So I did. But the monster had the same idea. The monster kept breathing really, really hard, like a fat pony in a marathon. Then I remembered " wait I have wings" I said to myself. I jumped up and used my wings to try to get away. Key word try. As soon as I took off the monster jumped and hit me, sending me too the ground. I crashed to the ground near a tree while the beast stood a few feet away turning to face me. I looked to my right and saw the only thing I could use to defend myself, a large sharp stick. Not a katana or mace but under the circumstances it would do. I grabbed it and heard the feet of the beast. I pointed the stick in front of me and closed my eyes. Then something happened, I didn't feel the beast crush my spine into jelly, I heard a loud squish. I looked in front of me and saw me stick had went into the eye of the creature. " UHHHHHH AAH FUCK", it's hard to say something else when you have killed some giant pig thing. I pushed the pig off me and looked at it, it's cold red eyes, one gushing with a black liquid, it wasn't blood, it was too black. Immediately flew back home. I went home and grabbed some alcohol from my booze cabinet and sat at my table and thought about what happened, though most of my thoughts consisted of " CELESTIA WHAT IN THE SHIT WAS THAT THING". After alot of drinking I finally passed out on my table. I awoke to the sound of someone knocking on my door. After falling out of my chair I opened my door and saw a some guy in armor,then I realized it was a guard of princess Celestia's. "Iceheart, the princess wants to talk to you" he said. When a guard comes to your house and tells you the princess wants too see you you don't back talk. I followed him to the castle where the princess was. oddly enough I wasn't thinking " What does the princess want with me?" I was still thinking about the pig monster creature thing. I had a hangover from the drinking last night cause after a fight with some monster it's hard to fall asleep but it wasn't as bad as the one yesterday. We got to the castle pretty quickly and went inside. The princess stood at the end of a huge room. "Is this him." "Yes Princess it is" said the guard. "Hello Iceheart, I guess you are wondering why I have called you here." "Uhhhhh yeah, why did you call me here it's not often the I get called by royalty." " I want too talk to you about what you experienced last night." I froze, how could she know what happened last night? " What you fought last night was a demon." " Uhhhh a demon?" "Yes, Equestria maybe a beautiful place but darkness lurks in the shadows, and killing a demon is no easy feat, I need to ask you to help me with something, you can refuse If you please, I will provide you with training and brand new weapons fresh from my engineers." " Wait what the hell are you asking me?" " I'm asking " said the princess " Do you want to be a demon hunter?" [Present Day] A 5 foot tall being covered in moving blackness, red eyes and the mouth of a dragon sprints through the woods, almost tearing down trees with it's hands. It keeps running jumping over bushes and even breaking through the trees. Suddenly Iceheart drops down from the trees directly in front of the demon. Wearing a black cloak, boots, and glasses. "SSHSHHHSU" hisses the demon, it extends it's hands and it stretches forward toward the him. He sidesteps the black arm and draws what seems like a samurai sword and implants it into the hand then into the tree. The demon shrieks but is interupted with the pony jumping towards it pulling out some metal contraption and pulling a trigger, splattering the demons head on a nearby tree and on the figure. "Ewww I got fucking demon on me." I grab my sword which has even more demon on it. Man I never get tired of head shots. I looked back too see the demon just melting like ice cream in summer, these type of demons I call Black Spawns, their burning smells sort of like alot of melting berries for some reason. And I love the fact i get to go home smelling like a bush of blackberries. My 2nd demon hunt completed, man after training for 5 months it is finally good to be back home. Authors note Man sorry if this sucks, if theres any way i can make this any better please tell me.