Skippy's on First
Six months later
"So this is the place," Twilight announced.
"Ready to go in?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Uh-huh!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"The Playcolt Mansion...never thought I'd be entering THIS wretched hive of scum and villainy," Rarity intoned as they walked to the door.
"It's not that bad," Fluttershy said, "just a bunch of anorexic girls in cat costumes,"
"Cat costumes?" Applejack asked warily, "Ah didn't sign up fer no furry convention,"
"It's just the Playcolt Kitties, Applejack, no need to worry," Fluttershy admonished as they entered the luxurious home.
What came to their eyes was more restaurant/party then home. It was packed to the brim with guests. A pony caught up to them and accosted Fluttershy.
"Fluttershy!"
"Hey, Photo Finish.." Fluttershy said weakly.
"I thought you did not vant to make 'da magics', yet here you are blossoming like a flower!"
"I did it as a favor to my friends..."
"Vell, your pictures are vunderbar! Come join me and ve can talk..." Photo Finish said as she pulled Fluttershy away.
They proceeded in and heard a conversation
"Bon Bon, I finally have hands!"
"Lyra, don't tell me you took this job to wear those paws-"
"HANDS! These are hands!"
"Whatever..."
A familiar monocled stallion waved them over. "Fancypants!" Rarity exclaimed.
"I see you hit it off with my journalist friend here," he said patting the orange pony next to him on his green mane.
"Syko!" The girls cried out.
Syko waved. "Hey girls, how you enjoying the fame?"
"Oh I love it!" Pinkie exclaimed, sitting next to Syko, "let me tell you all about it!"
Rarity was already lost in conversation with Fancypants about something or other, so the three girls remaining trekked further in. They were stopped by a voice.
"Rainbow Dash!"
Rainbow Dash twirled around and saw Spitfire. She saluted."Sir, yes, sir!"
"I saw the article..."
Rainbow Dash gulped.
"And I'm ashamed to see that you didn't have the stones to go full frontal!" Spitfire smirked, "Now drop and give me fifty!"
Rainbow Dash pleaded, "but my friends..."
"Listen here, missy, if your friends were to hop off the top of the Playcolt Mansion headfirst, would you join them?"
"Sir, yes, sir!"
Spitfire looked shocked. "Drop and give me one-hundred right now!"
"Sir, yes, sir!" and Rainbow Dash fell to the ground, starting her one hundred wing push-ups. That left Twilight and Applejack.
"So what do y'suppose we do now?" Applejack queried.
"I don't know..." Twilight mused.
"I might have an idea."
Both ponies turned to see none other than Princess Celestia wearing what appeared to be a black leotard and cat ears!
"W-what are you wearing?" Twilight asked.
"Well it seems Mister Heifer has made me an honorary Playcolt Kitty," Celestia said, "so I decided to take him up on the offer."
"And she looks simply smashing," said a voice from behind Celestia. Celestia stepped away to reveal Hugh Heifer wearing a bathrobe, a very old mare in his arm.
"GRANNY!?" Applejack exclaimed, "when did you get here!?"
"Oh, Mister Heifer picked me hours ago, where he showed me his 'rumpus room'" Granny snickered.
"Granny! Nah! Mah eyes! Mah ears!"
"Oh stop being such a drama queen and join us,"
Applejack nodded dumbly and joined Granny and Hugh.
"So, Celestia...nice party." Twilight said.
"Yes it is," Celestia mused, scanning the room, "have you seen my sister, by any chance?"
"No I haven't-"
"SO MANY FRIENDS! SO. MANY. FRIENDS HERE ON THE MOON!" Luna bellowed as she burst out of a room, blasting the door off of it's hinges. She then picked up a glass and shouted, "OH, THERE YOU ARE, SKIPPY! HELLO, SKIPPY!"
Celestia facehooved when two ponies appeared from the doorframe. "Say it, Tavi..."
"No, Vinyl..."
"Say it!"
Tavi sighed and droned, "How many pony tranquilizers does it take to put down an alicorn?"
Vinyl then said, "I can tell you that it's not five fully loaded shots, cause that's what Luna's on!"
"My sister seems to think that she's on the moon," Celestia said, "see if you can calm her down with some music or something. Have Vinyl Scratch help, seeing as how she's responsible for this..."
"Wait, I got a better idea!" Vinyl exclaimed, "C'mon, Twilight! Baseball protocol!" Vinyl said, magically handing a bat to Twilight, who grabbed it with her magic.
"Baseball protocol?" Twilight asked.
"Just follow my lead," Vinyl whispered as they approached the stage.
"So, I'm thinking of creating a Playcolt Kittie baseball team," Vinyl said.
"Oh really?" Twilight asked, "Who's going to be on it?"
"It's funny you ask," Vinyl said, "Who's on first, what's on second, and I don't know's on third,"
"Aren't you managing the team," Twilight asked.
"Why yes I am," Vinyl stated.
"Well aren't ya gonna tell me the mares' names?"
"Yes,"
"Well who's on first?"
"Yes,"
"Who?"
"Yes!"
"Well go ahead and tell me?"
"The mare on first base,"
"Who!"
"The mare playing first,"
"Who!"
"Well what are you asking me for!" Twilight said exasperatedly.
"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you!" Vinyl said just as exasperatedly.
"You ain't telling me nothing! I'm asking you who's on first?"
"That's it!"
"Well go ahead and tell me!"
"Who!"
"The mare playing first base!"
"That's her name!"
"That's who's name?"
"Yeah!"
"Well go ahead and tell me!"
"That's the mare's name!"
"That's who's name?"
"Yeah!"
"Well go ahead and tell me!"
Vinyl sighed, "Who is on first base!"
Twilight stamped her hooves and yelled, "What are you asking me for!? I'm asking you! Who's on first?"
"That's it."
"Who's on first?
"Yes."
"No, I'm asking you, what's the mare's name on first?"
"No, no what's on second!"
The madness continued to much laughter
"Look, Skippy, they're performing for us!" Luna said to the glass.
"Yes, and it's very nice," Celestia mused, munching on something.
"What are you munching on, sister? And can Skippy have some?"
"Well it all depends on whether or not Skippy likes banana chips-"
"Skippy! No!" Luna screamed as she blasted a bolt of pure moonlight into Celestia's face.
----
The ensuing battle leveled the mansion and laid waste to the countryside, waging for three days and three nights. Some say that Luna was banished to the moon yet again. Others regale her tale of execution for attempted deicide. But those who were there at the end saw Celestia pin Luna to the ground and sing her a lullaby that put all those near to sleep.
Hush now, quiet now, it's time to lay your sleepy head, hush now, quiet now, it's time to go to bed...
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Syko was an interesting name for him, not many people or ponies would be making deals with a "psycho."
Love the scenes with it going over Rainbows head and Fluttershy going all legal on him.
3789678 I'm glad you liked it! The ending was more, 'Let's get an alicorn high on ketamine' than anything else, though. But I'm glad you liked it nonetheless!
Took me awhile to get around to reading it, but it was a really good story and deserves more attention than it got.
Also if I ever write a story where Fluttershy becomes a model again for some reason I'm totally having Angel Bunny be her agent.
Angel would also make an excellent pimp.
In fact, I pimped it to the handful of people who read my blog. So sad that it seems to have slipped through the cracks.
3807570 thank you for that! I appreciate that.
I couldnt stop laughing hell this was hilairious but that ending... that killed my mood... all but one line, jajaja when Spit fire asked about jumping and Dash said yes, that was soooo awesome and something i really believe Dash would do
jajaja
I was with you up until that ending. That was just...whaaaaaat?
Also, um..."full frontal" on a pony? That's like...how they look all the time.
3868894 "Full Frontal" would mean that their naughty bits were exposed.
3892841 Except...a pony has no naughty bits in front.
The expression DOES NOT WORK when you're dealing with ponies.
3892850 Well, when a pony lays on their back and spreads their hindlegs...
3892856 It still doesn't work.
3892863 You're awfully nitpicky, ya know?
3892870 I am aware of that, yes. And when I point something out, there's always a reason for it. An intelligent person who intends to grow as a writer would take such criticism under consideration.
3892880 And I do. Thank you. Next time I write a Playcolt story, I'll use 'full hindquarters' or 'full rear'
This story has been reviewed by the Blunt Reviews Group.
i123.photobucket.com/albums/o282/Abramus5250/badge_zpseaf496af.gif
Honestly, I didn't mind the use of the phrase "full frontal" in this story, since I read another story that mentioned that, and when I asked the author, their response gave the impression that it was going off the interpretation that the ponies in the show HAVE naughty bits. But they're usually hidden, so that they can go outside without clothes on.
the last chapter was a bit 'chaotic and the show of vinyl and twilight was strange, reminded me of something I saw long ago on TV that I do not remember the name.
very strange but very funny
Good job
what happened to skippy?
and why did he start a war?
P.S. but skippy was the glass?
I'm confused!!