• Member Since 2nd Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 19th, 2014

Litizzaner


Stories inspired by classic literature. Read more fiction!

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Comments ( 12 )

Aw. A cute little yuletide story. :heart:
I didn't notice any spelling or grammar issues and it was pretty well paced and all that jazz, but mostly it was perfectly sized, and straight to the adorable point.
Liked and faved and stuff.

very cute one-shot for twilight and AJ. Glad AppleBloom was able to help Twilight figure it out
:ajsmug:

Is the description for this literal or like an idiom for something that requires medical attention?

I've read a couple good Twijack Hearths Warming fics this year. This one stays high up on the enjoyable scale.:twilightsmile:

SHL

Cute story :twilightsmile:

3645389>>3644262>>3643568 Thank you guys so much for reading and enjoying. Yeah, my 3-word description I wrote for myself was "cute Christmas fluff" so I'm thrilled to see people basically calling it that. Mission: Accomplished.

This wasn't originally an idea for the TwiJack Hearth's Warming contest, but then I stumbled onto the contest and I knew I just had to get it done in time to enter. There is a whole folder of them in the TwiJack group. Bookplayer's "The Homesteading" is particularly great, but overall I'm very impressed by the contest entries.

3643442
First! There, I said it for you, because you're not allowed.

Thanks for keeping an eye out for errors, I really appreciate it. I'm going to let it rest a day, then go through with a fine-tooth comb and try to fix any little punctuation thing once it's not so fresh that I don't see the words as written.

Yeah, I really like the shorter shipping stories too, so that was my goal.

Thank you so much for the read and comment!

SHL

3646740
As one of the participants of the contest, I must say that I'm also impressed by your work :pinkiehappy: Good luck :twilightsmile:

3643835

Ha! I guess I should probably expand the description a bit, huh? It's just a very simple story, so I wasn't sure what to put that wasn't obvious from the :twilightsmile: :heart: :ajsmug: tags: Twilight being nerdy about mistletoe.

To answer your question: no, there is no innuendo about diseases or anything, this is just about Twilight and AJ and the mistletoe plants that parasitize Sweet Apple Acres. Honestly, it's more about getting the ponies to kissing than anything else. No sex, no graphic descriptions.

Welp, semi-judging comment is a go, whether they like it or not, heh.

That was super adorable. I heavily enjoyed that, despite its flaws. The cuteness of the story really drove it well, making me overlook some of the stilted writing in places, occasional errors, and slightly off-characterized Twilight. So good job there.

As for more specifics--most of the errors aren't too bad, but there's enough that you really could have caught in one good full read-through edit. As for what I called stilted writing...it was mostly early on, where some of your sentence structuring repeated itself a bit much, and a few places where the word choice or punctuation choice really didn't work. As for your handling of Twilight, it was not bad enough to make me cringe or anything, but I think you need more practice in writing her character. It just didn't feel entirely right.

Still, beyond all that, I liked it. You get a thumb from me, though because of its issues, I won't be faving it. Close, though.

Good work, and thanks for the enjoyable story!

I had two issues with this story:

1) This is a structural issue, but I felt like the reveal wasn't good enough. I just didn't get the emotional response that I would have liked to, especially from when Twilight realized exactly what was going on.

2) I never really understood why I should care if these two ponies should get together. We're told that they like each other, but we don't really understand why. It doesn't really sell things to me, so I don't feel invested in the outcome.

I think my favorite bit, though, was Pinkie being oblivious to Rainbow Dash with the mistletoe.

This is beautiful its a favorite of mine

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