• Member Since 7th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen April 25th

Princess Glitzy


I'm a human being who writes stories about ponies.

E

Spike was once a complete puzzle. All of his pieces fit together perfectly and he fit into life's puzzle perfectly. Then, he lost something, or more specifically somepony. One does not stay the same after losing a special piece of them. This is a story of puzzles and how each and every part of our universe in connected in some way, some with stronger bonds than others.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 16 )

it was good a little confusing but good none the less

3643648 How was it confusing? I don't want anyone to not understand the story. If you're wondering about who that "you" is. It's you and everyone else who reads the story.

at first i couldn't figure out if twilight is dead if spike is just thinking in his head

3643692 Ah, I can see the confusion now. Yes, Twilight is dead. As you can tell by the line where I mention the sands of time, she is gone. I didn't say specifically if she was dead in the beginning because I wanted it to be open to interpretation. Then, when you find out she's dead, you most likely will feel a pang of sadness. If this was true, then I have done my job as an author.

3643700 Thank you! I love that picture by the way. :pinkiesmile:

3643719 it's okay i figured it out with the last line this is a really good story thought now i need some help but dont worry about it

A great example of how a short story can also be one of the most gratifying things to read. Though I am pretty sure I heard the puzzle idea before, it does not take away how good and strong the story is.

I love it! But, why don't you tell us HOW Twilight died?

3645386

Ever since her puzzle piece was lost in the sands of time, I just haven't been whole.

This sentence says that Twilight died because of old age, but I'm not directly saying it because, for the most part, I want it to be open to interpretation.

3645519 So, Spike is like, BIG Spike by then?

Well, this story was... decent. I have to say it didn't leave any lasting impressions like I'm sure you intended, and it seemed at many times like rambling. Writing a story where you address the reader directly, in any way, is tricky business. I commend you for a valiant attempt, but it just kind of fell flat for me... I don't know how to suggest you improve your writing, because I'm not at all educated in second-person storytelling. Sorry. :fluttershysad:

Your Rating: :ajsmug:

Hey, I hope you appreciated my feedback! I can tell I'll have my hooves full this week, so it'd be really, really awesome if you could support me by joining Weekly Watch! Your rating, and many others, will appear in a results thread later this week. Hope to see you there!

3648079 Yes. He is older and wiser now.

3651851 That's because this particular story doesn't really have any particularly great traits. It's not sad enough to really be sad and it's mostly just a life view put into a story. The idea has been done before, the story is too short, yet too long and it doesn't have any great qualities. I believe it has a good message and pretty good writing, but it's not really a story. Yes, this story is decent.

Login or register to comment