• Published 9th Mar 2012
  • 17,602 Views, 1,170 Comments

Contraptionology! - Skywriter



When life gives you lemons, make robot monsters.

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appendix d - Fanart! (contains spoilers)

* * *
Contraptionology!

by Jeffrey C. Wells

www.scrivnarium.net

(with gratitude to the pre-reading powers of Akela Stronghoof and S.R. Foxley)
* * *

appendix c: Fanart!

"Apples and Honesty" by Dazhbug

Thanks so much to all y'all's!

Comments ( 171 )

Eeyup. First Heretical Fictions, now this! I remember you blogging about these a while back, but these are EPIC!:eeyup:

Cool! I wondered why this and "Heretical Fictions" popped up in the feature box. :yay:

Huh Nightmare Malice looks like an Inquisitor. Well I guess they are the dark side of Honesty.

2887776
Guys, please know that I totally didn't want this to clog the feature-box. It didn't occur to me that adding an appendix for fanart would do that. I apologize profusely in advance for anyone with actual story content that I inadvertently forced out.

2887788 Why did you respond to me then? :applejackunsure:

2887807
Gah! I don't know! I should have just put it in its own comment thread instead of replying to you! Judas priest, I can't do anything right tonight.

Okay. An actual response to your comment: What are these Inquisitors of which you speak?

Well, now that it's here, would you be able to simply add more fanart to this chapter without disturbing the feature box? Because I was kinda thinking of maybe making some at some point.

these are awesome!

2887788
Step 1: Wait for peak FimFiction hours.
Step 2: Add a fanart chapter to "Twilight Sparkle Earns The Featurebox."
Step 3: Sit back, steeple fingers.

2887851
Holy plot do I love me girls wearing heavy armor. It's this sort of thing that makes me wish that Warhammer wasn't such a depressing crapsack of a place.

2888698
Yes, chapters already posted should be able to be edited without upsetting the apple cart. I officially encourage you to proceed with your fanart plans!

2888893
Thank you!

2889261
Where's the step that says "profit"?

2889484
Directly after the question marks. Locating the question marks is left as an exercise to the reader.

"Apples and Honesty" reminds me quite a bit of Girl Genius. And Dr Horrible. I love it!

And Nightmare Delicious looks awesome. Not exactly what I imagined back when I read the story, I pictured it more like Nightmare Moon-style garb or somesuch. This looks like Applejack in a badass longcoat, about to lay down the law and I pity the pony standing in her way. Far more stylish than what I expected a Nightmare to wear. It could use more of a background though. I hate teal.

2891206
I welcome yet more fanart that will show me how she looks in your head! Really, I'm just greedy for the stuff. :pinkiehappy:

2891226
And the day I develop anything even vaguely resembling artistic drawing skill, I'll see about providing some. That may or may not happen for a long time, I'm afraid. Don't hold your breath. Unless you're going diving, I guess.

2891268
I hear ya. That's why I fic. :twilightsmile:

2891683
Thanks for the catch!

2892166
I'm quite certain I wrote that line with that very song in mind!

2892888
Yes, but Opal shares Rarity's prissy sentiments, I think. A barn? Surely you jest. Mrawr.

2887821>>2887851
It's the Inquisiponies!

[Lady Inquisipony Vigilant] continued. “By the authority of the Immortal Goddess-Empress of Ponykind, as vested in Her Most Holy Friendquisition, I have the judged the Equestrian municipality of Applemattox beyond the ability of Her servants to save. It is then, with a heavy heart but unwavering resolve, that I condemn it to confectionatus.”
...
“Loyal ponies rejoice, for your tribulations are at an end. She in Canterlot will welcome you into her embrace with wings spread wide. Enemies of Ponykind despair, for your wickedness shall now meet its due retribution. May Equestrian justice account in all balance. The Princess protects.”
...
The party cannons roared. Each shot that rained down smashed several buildings at once, and threw up great gouts of debris and crumbs. The impacts rocked the ground like the hooffalls of a vengeful god, and the noise vibrated the ship like thunder, even at its high altitude. The settlement, little more than piles of wood, stood no chance against the firepower brought to bear on them.

And it was just to soften up the target. After a few salvoes, the torpedo tube on the Merciful Judgment opened and discharged the Cyclonic Fruitcake. It fell to earth like a comet, penetrating deep into the crust. Whatever tunnels weren’t outright obliterated by its impact were collapsed by its final detonation.

2894147
Oh, lawks, cyclonic fruitcake. :facehoof:

I maintain that 'Barren Malice' is superior to 'Nightmare Delicious'. :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

2892900
Opal hunts only the finest purebred, free-range, imported mice. Rarity has to special-order them from Canterlot.

2896557
Swarm explicitly chased Rarity away from Ponyville, to the river, and is now out of the picture. Thank goodness, for A.J.'s sake.

2896557
(We are presuming they are obsessed at this point. It's weak, I know. Sorry.)

EDIT: Patched with a few grammar tweaks, which is as fixed as it's going to get without reworking the event sequence, and I'm past the edit point on this story.

2891206 Aaah, someone noticed. That picture of ND is part of a larger scene that I never finished (or properly started) drawing. The teal is a placeholder for awesomeness. I hereby commit to actually finishing that someday.

But who said a nightmare couldn't be stylish? Certainly not The Nightmare. She hears black is 'in' nowadays.

2904338
No, it was a fair cop. That bit was part of the dialogue tweak done in response to his critique. :pinkiehappy:

Why can't I double-upvote this? :twilightoops:

2907880
Site coding limitations! :pinkiehappy:

2923114
Thanks so much! I'll admit that the Demiurgist religion that AJ espouses is laid on pretty thick. A scene that was cut from "Shipping Sickness" makes reference to her "confusingly-introduced doctrinal morality" as a jab at myself for doing this. I think I was trying to really lay on the conservative feel for her as that is a big part of the final message but I may have gone a bit far. Thanks again!

The beginning was a tad too slow, but by the story picks up steam (and Science!), nothing can stop it. The references hit, the characterization is perfect even during the insanity and the turns of phrase were pure genius throughout. Even the applejackisms, that I tend to find obnoxious, were extremely entertaining, while still being in character.

Not to say that it is perfect. Pinkie breaks the 4th wall way too much in the beginning, and the plot works thanks to one coincidence too many, even considering the Big (fairly predictable) Bad. Also, the first person narrative is wonky at times, occasionally shifting into a strange kind of third person where the narrator is part of the action. That took me out of the fic at times.

Still, it was an amazing ride, full of memorable moments and interesting world-building. In the end, I think this works so well because you managed an amazing mix of action and comedy.

Also, the innuendo combo in chapter 15 (Hard Bucking) was absolutely awesome.

2936855
Thanks for reading, and glad you overall enjoyed!

I need a happy Applejack emoticon! She's either smug, bemused, sleepy, confused or unsure!

2946687
I'm just that good.

2994888
Heh. Most of it is pseudointellectual claptrap anyway. :pinkiehappy: Glad you're enjoying!

Well, this is weird. Following the definition of this story, I'm in a semi-Stage Three Convology, But, my innate laziness (and for some reason, inability to find the parts I need,) stops me from wrecking the world.

Still doesn't stop me from making (theoretically) working blueprints of things though, things like a flamethower that makes rainbow-coloured fire. :pinkiecrazy:
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to figure out how to make music DJ itself.

3061384
Sadly, the music that DJ's itself is probably incomprehensible to the sane mind, even if Octy were to have written down the details in the mad throes of creativity. I think it's lost for good.

3062744

Well, it's a good thing I'm not sane then, or this would probably never work. :pinkiecrazy:

3070253
Thanks much! Yeah, I think A.J. is wrong to call Dash stupid, and I think the point where she relents and admits that Dash is merely a different kind of intelligent is not just a funny redirection; I think there is a little bit of a change of heart there. Thanks for the commentary!

While I'd hesitate to throw around hyperbole such as "This is the best story ever", I think it's reasonable to state that this is a very good story from my perspective.

Starting with the more mundane points, this was well-written, with the narration being funny, engaging, and in-character. There were few, if any, grammar and spelling problems, and the storyline kept a solid continuity. The pacing was nicely done, moving along at a fast enough pace to keep things interesting, yet lingering just long enough to explain twists and new details. Also, enough detail was put in to paint a vivid picture of what was going on without going overboard.

Now, this is nice and all, but every author wants to write a memorable story. Did this one accomplish that? In a word, yes. This story was a comedy on the surface, but beneath that is serious thought. The way the themes were presented somewhat reminds me of Wicked. Much like how that book ponders if evil is a trait villains are born with, this story pokes at change. Is it good? Is it bad? I like how it explores both sides and lands in the middle. Also explored is honesty, betrayal, jealousy, and a few other themes I probably didn't even pick up. Heck, I'd probably find more to dissect upon a second read! To sum up my thoughts, these themes are presented well and makes readers think about them.

Everything has probably been said previously, but I just wanted to say how good this story is, and why it's good.

P.S. I'm pretty wordy aren't I? Why are my stories short, then? :facehoof:

3101999
Long comments are best comments! Thanks so much for your feedback.

3103091
You're welcome! I wish I had more constructive criticism, but really, I don't. Bell's romance story arc seems a little bit tacked on, but it did generate some funny moments, so it really just needs polishing, if anything.

Well, I read Contraptionology in one go and what can I say other than I absolutely loved it all, from start to finish there was not a single part of it that I did not enjoy. Stylistically, it's flawless, the prose just flows so naturally and beautifully and mercifully free of any large grammar or spelling mistakes, it hooked me and had me always reading that one more line even though I had other things to do. I thought the main cast characterizations are all spot-on from my point of view and felt grounded on their canon counterparts (Even when chased by a swarm of angry ponycidal bees, Rarity would always find the time to compliment somepony's fetching new ensemble), the jokes are not just funny but hilarious with perfect pacing and delivery, the villains are well fleshed out, the lampshade hanging is hysterical ("This is a perfect plan which has no conceivable flaws!", really Twilight?), the interactions between the ponies happens so smoothly and the story just flows forward without ever feeling forced by the weight of its own plot but rather because that's what should naturally happen next. But what really got me was Spike's Igor-like transformation, I cuoldn't stop giggling for days every time I remembered it.

Yes I am laying the praise real thick here, but this story truly deserves it, flaws, there are some, but honestly, the enjoyment I had while reading it was so great that it completely hid them. If there's anything I could find for which I felt anything less than raving enthusiasm, it would be the reveal of the nightmare's true nature and the powers it gave to its avatar. It didn't feel as natural as the rest of the story, almost like a peg that didn't quite exactly fit its hole. And yet at the same time I couldn't help but think it was well handled and that it was the logical development to its "...SHALL LAST FOREVER!" catchphrase. All in all, a minor pet-peeve which I just rolled along with and which did NOT diminish my enjoyment of the story at all.

Also Igor-Thpike could have uthed a bit more lithping (although thothe Igorth are far leth thycophantic).

I did actually enjoy the "Grower" phrases, feeling they added a little of original flavour to the character without making her seem out of character, they felt like a background phrase added in for colour and in that aspect, I thought it worked nicely adding just the correct highlight to the big picture.

So in conclusion, this story is AWESOME, a perfectly written crackfic in which every character is focused through the lens of insanity and yet remains entirely recognizable and that is a big part of what makes it so great.

The only difference I can see between your writing and that of a professional writer would be a business card, and at this point, I suspect not even that.

PS: Looking back I've pretty much just repeated what most people said, but taking a lot more space, and I didn't even mention the aesops (delivered without any falling anvils, thank you very much) the (mercifully small) 4th wall breaking, or the Pepper subplot. Sorry about that.

2936855
I kind of disagree on the wonkiness of the first person narrative, it certainly didn't feel that way to me, maybe I don't remember it, or maybe after having recently read some other fics I just had lower expectations. I fell like I should add that said expectations were completely and happily shattered by this fic's quality by the way. :derpytongue2:

But I can tell you that it felt like a much needed soothing balm after some other reads. :yay:

3168535
Wow, thanks so much for the glowing praise! So glad that you enjoyed it! And no harm in repeating others' reactions if they're yours, too. :pinkiehappy:

I don't have a business card with my name printed on it, but due to my work on "Skin Horse", I guess I am a professional author (just not one who can quit his day job yet.) Anyhow, thanks again!

3257448
Hope you continue to enjoy it as the story unfolds! :pinkiehappy:

3282211
How about "Responsibility"? :pinkiesmile:

3284262
Thanks. It starts getting a little weird soon, alas. :applejackconfused:

3287398
Thanks! You'll have to imagine the rimshot after that line.

Boy, this story is just full of pop- and nerd-culture references, isn't it?

3411784
I think it gets better. At least I hope it does!

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