• Member Since 18th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Wrabbit


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Source

A part of Twilight's past she had thought long left behind comes back to haunt her. How can a casual comment from a friend bring back so much pain?

Cover art by CaliAzian and used with permission.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 27 )

A nice simple short story, I like it

What cover art?

Season 2's Jockbow, and Read it and Weep wasn't even her worst. Poor Twilight.

forever staining it with her sadness.

A touch melodramatic, perhaps? :pinkiehappy:

I tease because I love. :heart:

Comment posted by Knight of Cerebus deleted Nov 9th, 2013

Frikkin' this. Dash doesn't know anything about Twilight's backstory, since they didn't grow up together, and she does know Twilight didn't have any friends, but she never thought about why that was and still casually insults her nerdiness despite her obvious self-worth issues.

:fluttercry: I haz a sad nao :pinkiesad2:

I find this story easy to relate to. Except my older brother didn't try to help much.


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Very very rarely does someone make me feel. Even more rarely someone will write something that makes me cry. I can't say thanks but you're obviously an amazing writer. I think this might be my first comment after two years of lurking.

It's a very delicate moment in time, getting bullied in school and having to be reminded of it. The story doesn't lead to resolving Twilight's conscious, but I think that's the point. I've known people like Twilight's portrayal in this story: rather than go to others for help, they want to keep their trauma to themselves so nobody will ask about it. It's very sad and I wish she'd consult Rainbow Dash about what happened (who I think would be pretty understanding and regret making Twilight upset), but this is a reality. Some people are just like this.

Wow. Kinda reminds me of my first years in school. :fluttercry:
But I didn`t get much help because I didn`t tell anyone.

Hmm. Yeah, this story doesn't do much for me. Its a bit dry and it doesn't really go anywhere. The flashback is very... factual? Not sure what term to use to describe it, but there is very little emotion in it. Shining's explanation is somewhat engaging, but other then that I never got invested in the story. The biggest problem I have with it however is that Rainbow called Twilight Egghead before this, and that is not addressed at all. If anything, the first time would probably be more painful since Rainbow and AJ actually laughed at her.

I don't like this fanfiction genre where you take something from canon and reinterpret it by adding a hidden layer, now with 1000% more darkness and angst. So I might be overly critical but this story seems really forced.

Twilight's emotions in the show, when her personality clashes with others, seem to me to be genuine annoyance and exasperation rather than a heaping of insecurities held behind a mask of false detachment. She's a confident nerd, who's just not that interested in socializing (and takes her lack of interest a wee bit too far). Not calling out someone who seriously hurts her with callous words and instead crying in secret isn't something that she would do.

And there's also the fact that to give Twilight a traumatic backstory, you need to present Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns as a place overrun with disgusting little cretins. What are the bullies doing in a school for gifted kids? How did they manage to pass the crazy hard entrance exam with those attitudes? And why's Celestia the stereotypical incompetent principal who tolerates such pathologies in her institution?

3462490 I'm pretty sure Dash felt comfortable insulting Twilight because they both know and trust each other enough to understand that they can both get away with that level of teasing with no hurt feelings. Her insult to Spike was actually far worse than anything she's ever said to her other friends (why didn't you write about that, you wrascawy Wrabbit?), and they seem to be on pretty good terms. Better than their introduction even, where Dash didn't even seem to realize she was meeting two people.

3464264 but the point, in my comment and this story, is that she doesn't know Twilight. We see that quite readily in Fall Weather Friends when she casually mocks Twilight's lack of athleticism...and then is soundly trounced by Twilight's more focused mindset and superior planning in the race. She didn't grow up with Twilight and we've never seen her stop to ask about why exactly Twilight is as unstable and self-hating as she is. She, therefore, doesn't really have the right to mock what could be sore spots for Twilight and still be a sympathetic character.

I'm sure she's said worse to Spike...and Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie. That doesn't make it any less dickish. She also knows Pinkie and Fluttershy's backstory and the experiences they've gone through, and knows when to ease up on the gas.

As to making Spike the target of the story, he's just not as sensitive as Twilight. That said, somebody should make that story. Why don't you write it?

3464035>>3464059 Having said all that about why I think the story needed to happen, it certainly does need a lot more polish, as these two fine chaps have pointed out. Any criticism I have for the story has already been given here.

3461679 3463684
Thank you kindly. :twilightsmile:
3461741
Fixed. :twilightsheepish:
3462490
That was pretty much my thoughts exactly. Usually, you wait until you know a person's boundaries better before ripping into them with love. :ajbemused:
3462541
Sorry . :fluttershyouch:
3462869
Well, we can't all have Shining Armor for a big brother. :eeyup:
3463681
That's a fat bunny... :twilightoops:
3463698 3463994
I think that a lot of us in her situation would try to deal with it on our own, rather than involve others, especially the independent and introverted types. :unsuresweetie:
3464035
Not sure what I could have done to inject more emotion into the flashback. Also, could you point out which episode she was first called egghead by Dash? I thought it was in Read It and Weep. :rainbowhuh:
3464059
The school itself would also teach the offspring of the wealthy and noble unicorns, both notorious for their snobbish upbringing. I probably could have played up the "wealthier than thou" angle, or even the "breeding will tell" angle, but didn't want to take anything away from the "shunning the nerd" theme. This was about Twilight being excluded for being smarter than everyone else, not her lineage or how many bits she can afford to throw around on the latest new thing. I also don't see Celestia as the principal, just the one who founded the school. Ruling the nation takes far too much time and effort for her to have any to spare running a school. :trixieshiftright:
3464264
Which insult to Spike? :applejackconfused:

3476966
Fall Weather Friends

This was really well written and I could believe this from Twilight of all ponies

still wish we could have a sequel to this. one where rainbow and her friends find out just what that name means to twilight.

4307020 I agree with that
As far as insults go though egghead is very tame, it basically means an intelligent individual. So that scene never really bothered me, and I was teased for much of my school life.

Wait. It's over? What? No! It needs another chapter! Twilight ending off like that with the bad blood towards Rainbow just getting filed away? No no no! Bad! Bad writer! Have an up vote and write another chapter! I'll even follow this fic so I get notified when you write the second chapter which you're OBVIOUSLY going to write. I mean, obviously. Right?

Right?

4351994
While I am happy you liked the story, the fact is that some people are just like this. They sublimate their bad feelings, and for the most part, the feelings are eventually forgotten, if not forgiven. While it may not be emotionally healthy, and may eventually build to a blow up that may damage a friendship, some people would rather hide their hurt than risk a confrontation, especially with a person they consider a friend.

If, IF there will be a sequel, it will be far, far into the future after my current list of projects have finished, and I have some time and distance to consider how Twilight would deal with Dash's continued insensitivity. Just don't hold your breath on this ever happening. :unsuresweetie:

Comment posted by wildcannon46 deleted Dec 23rd, 2017

I like this story, but I have to say something here.

Dash's use of the term egghead has always struck me as part jock-speak, and part-jealousy. Later on in the series, you get the idea that she uses it as both an endearment and as a sign of respect.

As for me, I loved it when I got called 'egghead' or 'bookworm'; I always heard it as jealousy talking myself.

I was bullied as well. It was always "nerd", "geek", various swear words in High School, "go away", "you're not wanted", "I don't need you anymore". In Middle School, it was "robot".
I too, retreated into books, except mine were fantasy. You wouldn't believe my social anxiety in person. I don't blame them, though. I'm an easy person to hurt, lots of foibles and even trauma. I hope to one day find out what has happened to Hope Hartman, Jared Armstrong, Mrs. Key, and even Gabe. I even hope one of them reads this, because I forgive them, and hope that they have learned as I have. Be kind, and forgive.

6606233
That's a good view to have.

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