• Member Since 11th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Aug 2nd, 2016

Nazkan


T

There comes a point in every ponies life when they sit down and wonder, "Is this it? Does this mark upon my flank determine who I am, or does who I am determine what is upon my flank? Was there ever a choice, or are we all caught up in the stings of destiny, no way to break free? Would it even be possible to venture forth, and go against my nature or am I doomed to stay as I am?"
Rainbow Dash's epiphany wasn't quite as deep as this. It worried her though, she started to act differently, more brashly. She distanced herself, kept things close to her chest. A close friend notices the signs, and decides to help her the only way she knows how. By dragging her to an amusement park and forcing her to have fun.
But it seems like the universe is trying its hardest to ruin this day, and there's something fishy about the park Pinkie decides they must go to.

Chapters (8)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 24 )

CUTIE MARKS

CUTIE MARKS EVERYWHERE :moustache:

So, it's Saturday. Got nothing to do, LETS UPDATE THIS STORY!
I honestly don't know why this chapter took so long, so for the 7 of you tracking this, I am sorry. I have no excuse, and I don't care.
Next chapter will be up whenever it's done.
And that's all there is to say.
Things getting serious now
Nazkan

That was a bit too random for me, not bad though.

This story gets both more mad and more interesting with each new chapter. I'm certainly enjoying it :pinkiehappy:

I am writing a story where The Doctor and a rainbow pegasus fight robots in an amusement park. This is a thing that I've done, and I've spent more time on it then I'd like to admit. Where did everything go so wrong?

Anyway, new chapters up, just let me check off my list of necessary plot twists and lampshades first.
We've got two plot twists, some subtle foreshadowing, some unsubtle foreshadowing, a dash of motivation, six pounds of mind fuckery, a strict progression of established events, a trippy dream sequence, a loaded chekhovs gun, a smidgen of action, more sappy, cliched romance than is needed or necessary, a pinch of insanity and enough words to drown a small dog. That seems to be everything, don't think I missed any ingredients. *Cough*goodwriting*Cough*

Continuing on, hope you enjoy the chapter, next one will be out when I decide to stop being so lazy.

Where DID everything go wrong?
Nazkan

Damn, that a long chapter. This story has been an awesome read so far. Can't wait for the next chapter! :twilightsmile:

I just read from chapter 3 to here and OW MY BRAIN!!! :rainbowhuh: All that time-and-space-Doctor-Whooves-stuff confused me a little bit. But maybe thats just because i havent gotten any sleep yet... idk. lol

Epic writing, cant wait for more :twilightsmile:

a little to silly for my taste, also lack of spacing started to annoy me quite a bit as i went along.

796359

Well, everyone's free to their opinions. I've never gotten the hang of starting whole new paragraphs every line though, just seems like a waste of space and a way to pad out stories to me. Still, to each their own. Hope you have a nice day.
Besides, my whole intention with this story was to make it as random as possible without destroying the integrity of the plot. How that's going depends on who you ask.
Procrastinating again
Nazkan

if you think mine is stupid yours is stupid stupid stupid stupid

861371

Hello, Ditzy. Nice to see you again. How have you been in the...one day since I last saw you? It's always nice to see a fellow in depth, unbiased reviewer. After careful consideration of each flaw you pointed out in my story, I must agree. I should have made Pinkie Pie a nuclear physicist. Ah well, I suppose it's too late for that now.
As for the other well thought out and properly portrayed points, I would direct you to my previous comment located here (800973), as an answer.
I hope you succeed in your search for interesting fan fiction, even if I failed in that regard for you.
I would like to ask that you transfer any future complaints into a PM though, if only to stop my story from getting overloaded.
Keep up the killer grammar
Nazkan

I know what you're thinking, I was surprised too.
I was just sitting here, contemplating life, when suddenly BAM! an update came out of nowhere. I didn't even know such a thing was still possible. I certainly didn't see it coming. I thought my update machine was still broken.
Since it's here and all, you may as well read it. Or not, It's all cool. I'm not forcing you or anything.
Also, I am sorry about the pink writing. I really am. It's the most terrible thing I've ever done as a writer and I apologize.
Totally unexpected
Nazkan

It's an interesting story, really weird in alot of ways, and kinda harsh at times, but interesting. I'm surprised Rainbow is still functioning after all the beatings she's had in one day. Also it does seem a little off in some ways, as in if the mascots have the same memories and mind-sets of the Mane six, why in the world would they work for Nightmare? Or try to kill themselves? Or Rarity let Nightmare kill Octavia right in front of her? I'm assuming some of this will be answered later, but these are just the questions that are coming to mind right now. Your portrayal of Pinkie Pie and Iron Will is spot on.

1008484

It's not Pinkie Pie I'm worried about. Pinkie Pie is easy to write. Rainbow is the hard one.

I'm not exactly happy about the ending though, I may rewrite the whole thing later, or at the very least delete it.
And there is a reason they're working for Nightmare, I do have everything planned out.

1010479
I can see Rainbow being a problem, you're doing well with her though. And the ending will work as it is depending on how you answer what's happening in later chapters, but of course it's your story; so alter as you wish. : )

This to me is a wacky messed up story, kinda like Alice in Wonderland. It's silly at times, but with many darker elements to it. I was attracted to read it due to the romance tag, but i'm more interested in just what is going on now as there is only a small element of romance that pops up every once in awhile and doesn't tend to stay long.

Keep it up as I'm quite curious to see how this story continues to unfold.

Once again, delightfully mental.

I keep imagining Rainbow angrily pointing out to her mascot that despite having the same memories, she is nothing like Rainbow due to the fact she keeps trying to kill her and Pinkie.

Yea, I postpone this any longer and I'm just going to get more paranoid and perfectionist.
Enjoy or whatever.

Well this chapter helps my confusion somewhat though I am still desiring the next chapter.

so...why does this not have a dark tag? I mean you go into gruesome detail of dash literally having the life beaten out of her repeatedly and yet no dark tag or even a gore tag?

2814949

I've been neglecting this story for quite a while now and haven't updated it, not to mention that it's gone a vastly different direction from what I originally intended.

Anyway, fixed it now.

Moving to Hiatus.
Bumping up to Teen.
I'll get around to finishing it...someday.

Such Drama In A Girl Cartoon For Children (I Giggled When I Thought Of This Comment) Thanks For Writing This 88k Word Compeling Story This Was Great!

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!