- Member Since 12th Sep, 2013
- offline last seen Aug 1st, 2022
xjules
i'm not writing pony fiction ever again.
xjules
Joined 12th Sep, 2013 ·
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Break up the paragraphs a bit more and you'll be golden.
3192430
Thank you! You're right, it does look better that way
While I'm not a fan of Spairty it's sounds like a good story. I would suggest splitting out the paragraphs more. Like one paragraph if one person is talking and another when a different person is talking.
3192543
Thank you for giving it a chance and reading it!
In regards to your comment about spitting my paragraphs, I'm sure I did so while writing. Can you give me an example as to where that is in the dialogue?
3192560 I saw it earlier but it's fixed now. Any if you interested in human Spike stories you could check out mine.
I think I'll lay off reading sparity stories for a while.
*this comes along*
Goddamnit!
All you have to do is wait one more year... ONE! I think you can do that Spike.
While I like this story I don't like how Spike is down on his race. Sure their is probably a few Dragonbloods that are dangerous but every race have people like that. Spike experience with those in Canterlot show that Unicorn and Pegasus bloods can be just as bad.
3198482
Yeah, I did intentionally have Spike look down on being a Dragon Blood because I made him insecure about his outward appearance. In future chapters, I intend to show that each race in this story has a good side and a bad side. To not give spoilers, but I can tell you that Spike will realize this.
3198505 Well that's good to know. Have you considered introducing a married Dragonblood/Ponyblood couple in this story? I can see that Dragonblood help Spike see his race in a better light.
3198550
Unfortunately, I can't say what I am planning because I have the entire story planned out. It is an interesting concept, but it would change my story.
Again, break up the paragraphs a bit, and you have a masterpiece of a sparity fic.
I absolutly love this c: Can't wait for more~
It's either Shining or a old friend of Spike's.
Interesting.
URGABLURG!
I love it c:
Who is this mysterious person~
ooooh~ XD
Just kidning but seriously its great I love it
Evil chiffhanger! NOOOOOOOO...
OOOOOOO!! Is it one of the princesses?
Hope you get better and who knows what those two were up to before making it official
Well at least Shinning gave Spike some hope for his love for Rarity (Even though I hate Sparity) though it looks like him and Twilight have been having a falling out.
I dying to know the story behind rainbow dash so badly.
Pretty sure that bumps it up to mature.
well that just got intresting
To mature for teen.
Also, this chapter was awesome.
I feel Spike would use some half hearted humor in his monologues though.
3515570
I was going to add some humor to Spike's inner workings in that chapter, but I wanted to focus on his fixation on Rarity. Later I might add in some more comedic scenes, but that one was for Spike's near obsession with her.
yay update!
Okaaaay... So I like to play Darius in League of Legends and my last name is Diedrich... Creepy much?
More ples
You might want to change the status from incomplete to cancelled.
9765153
How much we talkin about here?
payment to continue a story?
how would it even be transacted? I don’t really know so...