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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Five Stars looks sad on the thumbnail (until you open the image, then she looks quite content). That was kinda strange. But still, nice cover art! (chapter's good, too!)
great chapter !
the story is like a booster it self, you need more and MOAR ...
WHAT THE FUCK??¡¡¡ This story only has 58 like?, come on, is a high quality reading, it should at least have 300... oh well, lets give it time; by the way, fantastic story you have here, reading it all rigth now, and waiting for next chapter.
4139399
You're right, her mouth kind of disappears in the thumbnail and you can't see her expression. We'll see about tweaking the picture to fix that. Glad you enjoyed the chapter!
4139503
Be careful... you might get addicted!
4143375
Appreciate you saying so! The low number of reads and likes has been a source of frustration to me, but I'm a first-time author with no real following yet. Trying to be patient and earn my views--I'm getting a slow trickle of new readers at least; generally one or two new faves a week. If you want to recommend this story to others, feel free! I'd love to see it get more attention.
4143616 I recommend you to change de introduction to the story, it was just by chance I saw it, because I didn't know it was a gentlemen for mares side story, try to higlight it at the beggining, if it hade been, I would've started reading it almost from the beggining, and put gentlemen for mares in the title too, as well as more links of the gentlemen for mares main stories, the author, also help yourself with the popularity of this universe, good luck.
4143616
toooooo late
4143937
Those are excellent suggestions. I've taken your advice and added G4M to the title and removed the initial paragraph so the description says G4M up front. I'll look for additional ways to reference the main Gentlemen stories as well.
4143375
Aaaactually, if you pay attention to your typical story's likes-to-views ratio... you'll notice it's typically 1:10 for your average run of the mill, decently written and decently liked story. Anything below 1:10 is usually (subjectively) "terrible" for one reason or another. Anything over 1:10 is above average, and this story has a 1:5 which is practically unheard of XD So the like-to-views ratio is agreeing with you that this story IS actually fantastic
4148025
Can't say I ever looked at that ratio before... but I think you're right! If true, the question then becomes how to drive more views *to* it... already took Voltaje's suggestions and had two new faves this morning! So hopefully that's helping and I'll continue to see some new readers at a better clip...
4139399
We fixed the thumbnail. Check it out.
4149031
Oh, you fixed it! I hope my observation wasn't an inconvienience in any way
But yeah, now the thumbnail 'feels' better
Having read the main story made me love five stars... its pity that she and the wingman didn't end up with one another. Though hopefully this fanfic will make up for that (and i know it will ). Thanks for making this, have a spikestache good sir
4161787
I hope it has for you so far! Can't speak for what Demon Eyes Laharl may yet reveal or have in store for Five Stars, but there's plenty more planned on this end...
My pleasure! Thanks, I'll wear it proudly.
Very nice work thus far. I did notice that Five Star's brother mentions an Atlantic City, while later an Antleric City is mentioned. While bro could have been referencing the human city, from context it didn't seem that way.
4171081
Thanks! It was meant to be Antlertic City both times... and is. Humans haven't been discovered at this point in the story yet. In any event, you'll be learning more about it and her brother in the story ahead.
4192214
Thanks! You're not the only one who said they broke their rule about reading unfinished fics to follow this. That being the case, feel free to join my slowly-growing cult.
Firesight - again, great work so far. just finished another chapter. As with all the fanfics that i deeply appreciate and care about, i offer my heartfelt review (albeit a slightly lengthy one) on what i've read so far :)
I find it hard to read. No, not because it was badly written, on the contrary because it was (at least for me) written so well that i really felt bad for the character five stars. I found myself struggling to endure to keep on reading, wincing at every emotional sentiment that five stars had everytime she faced a.. love problem if you will.
Call me pussy but i've always found it hard to deal with stuff like this (be it in media or real life). I took reading breaks because i really needed it - A LOT, so as to keep myself from 'feeling to much' (fuck this feels! feels, feels everywhere!) and give my tired aching heart the rest it deserves but whenever i do i found myself wanting to dive back in again just to finish one damn chapter in the hopes of find five stars in a better situation.
Gah, i love your work! It's a difficult read (because it's too 'meaty' on the feels department for my taste) but it's a bitter-sweet torture that makes me want to read it even more.
Kudos and thnx good author for making a good emotional roller-coaster.
P.S -Give her a good 'effing ending damn it or i swear i will *%$%*%$&**;!!!
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You have a cult?? ...how much for the membership fee? Lol.
4208379
Appreciate all the feedback! Feels are what I'm going for, and be warned that there is plenty more emotional roller coaster ahead. But... there will be an intermission of sorts with the next chapter, so hopefully you can use it to take a breather.
I understand perfectly where you're coming from. There's stuff I find hard to do read too because of the tugs on my heartstrings. Five Stars' life has a lot of highs and lows, but remember she eventually ends up in a place she's happy in. Her happy ending is where she is right now--a trainer for gentlemen; a job she enjoys and a life she loves. This story shows how she got there.
4208399
Whatever you can spare, cash, checks and all major credit cards accepted.
Well, those two bastards are damn lucky Rising Star isn't an Earth native. Were she me, I wouldn't have stopped at threats. I would have bound them with extra-tight cuffs, to injure as well as hold, I would have cut off their balls with cold steel instead of magic, I would have removed their eyes with a pair of pilfered scissors, and I would have also amputated their wings, one at the base and the other in the middle joint. And if I heard a single scream, the screamer's mouth would have met my hooves, twice.
Sorry for the extra-violent vent, but if there's something I can't stand is junkie motherfuckers that wanna push their shit to others. There are enough of those shitstains where I live and the police does bugger all with them.
And no, they haven't earned my forgiveness just from a section of tell from Five Stars and a half-assed letter of "apology". BUT!, I managed to forgive a repentant mass murderer in another unrelated fanfic who killed two children, one of which he hacked apart so bad the only real remain of her was a lock of hair, when he was shown as atoning for his deeds. So I'm betting on the fact that I could see Aces Up and Double Down in a positive light if you made a side story showcasing their lives after the incident and what fiery hoops they leapt through without flight to set their shit straight. And a part of this fic or another where they ACTUALLY make it up to Five Stars. Remember, words are air and sound and little else.
Holy shit, dude. That was some HEAVY stuff there...
The depth and scope of this story is simply amazing.
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I have a feeling that's gonna be a theme or something...
5474170 Sigh, I can definitely relate to this chapter. I too was pressured into a drug and became addicted, something that I look back in shame.
I was definitely one of the lucky ones to actually break my addiction(10 years now) and know for a fact so few actually do break their addiction.
So... her first and second broken herds ended up merging huh?
wow just wow this chapter is vary powerful at lest to me.
Burn the house down, Five Sauce!
This is mostly an American problem, but I completely agree with her view on this. The Brony community as a whole is not immune from this either. As baffling as it may sound, there are people who would rather read about ponies being shot, stabbed, burned or otherwise blown to pieces en masse than have sexual intercourse. I cite Equestria Daily as an example. Computer assisted equine mass murder? Good. This is a thing that needs to be famous! Pony and human have sex while discussing cultural differences? You're scaring the children! Ugh. Rant over.
Jeez, and I thought the Party-Time Mintals were bad...
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I may find the idea of public sex a bit overwhelming at best and downright squicky on occasion, but many others are not so constrained.
I just know it's still eating her. Poor Rising Star...
They better hope the prison they wind up in doesn't isn't holding any members of the gang they just ripped off or they can both look forward to a shiv in their ribs. Those Las Vegas (or Pegasus) gangsters don't mess around. A relative of mine had his hand broken by them for not selling enough meth. That's not just something for the TV shows, they really will break your fucking hand! They're awful people.
I'm curious, what was the downside of not cooling her sex cravings? My guess would be something along the lines of having their sanity broken; in the same way a mare who doesn't cool herself off during estrus will think of nothing but sex. In any case, Rising Star is proving to be the best boss a gal could ever hope to find!
Question answered.
Sex every hour? They both must have been a complete wreck after those 8 days.
Glad to hear she's doing as well as her sister in Hollow Shades now.
Some people are just born with a death wish and having kids is the only thing that convinces them that life is worth going on without acting crazy; like my aforementioned relative. He's fine now, his hand will never be the same though.
Their wives let them tuck random broads? Those mares must be into anything! Can't say I'd be as forgiving with a mare wife...
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They more than served their time. Five Stars did the right thing in forgiving them. No, she shouldn't have to deal with them anymore, but to hold what happened over their head when they've clearly shown remorse and taken the steps to rehabilitate would be spiteful. Good call.
Condemnation with demonization. I see it so rarely, but I love it.
Jesus H, what a ride... I can´t really... wow. It is past midnight around here and I can not stop reading!
On a different note, it is Albtraum über dem Opernhaus.
I don't get it either. I know it's a thing, but the why escapes me. My best guess is it's a remnant from the days when sex was a more private and "sacred" thing.
... Damn. I'm very glad I've never touched drugs in my life. Hell, the most alcohol I've had was accidentally thinking white wine was water as a 5 year old. Never again.
Suffice to say that this arc of the story is solid proof of quality. I've read plenty of fics with more mature themes, both good and bad. But seeing one that covers both the utmost highs and lows of the human/pony experience like you have, a very nearly 4D experience with Five-star as a character we not only read her story but on some level feel her story is a slightly more rare treat. She's a remarkably strong woman(mare).
As to the brothers, their actions are part of my worst nightmares, that I could hurt someone in that sort of way (albeit without the magical component), I seriously don't know if I could live with myself afterwards. And it enhances my occasional wish to go back in time to smack or otherwise read my younger self the metaphorical riot act. I just pray that any wrong doings or stupid stuff I've said never actually hurt anyone in a long-term way. I pray that any past crushes are doing well for themselves and/or their families.
11788838
Hey! Good to see you on this story. It was my first, but is in some ways still my best, though I now cringe at my overuse of ellipses back in 2014. Really should go through this and give it an editing pass, but in the meantime, welcome and enjoy.
Thanks! That’s exactly what I was going for, and there’s plenty more of that ahead. Five Stars is ultimately a mature mare who bears more than a few scars on her soul. She’s the product of her experiences, both good and bad, and this was definitely one of the bad. Arguably the worst, in fact, though more low points are ahead.
Oh, believe me, I’ve got some of the same regrets. There’s definitely some of me in Five Stars. At the very least, she’ll speak for me sometimes. But I’m also a very big believer in redemption, and as you saw in this chapter, the boys will get theirs. But they won’t be the only ones, despite everything she’s gone through or has yet to go through.
Hope you enjoy the rest of the story, and look forward to hearing what you think!