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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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What an awesome way to start the day, a notification that my favorite story has updated! I'm looking forward to digging in.
The regret is real. You can really tell that Star is disappointed in what she did. That hindsight man.
So a pony named Harvest Moon is now living on a farm...huh.
Ah, bardic knowledge
Hindsight's a bitch...
And unlike them, we understand that disagreement is a part of life, some people are assholes, and living in an Orwellian Society where only IngSoc (or would that be SocJus?) approved speech is allowed is an awful thing that must be avoided in the West at all costs.
Our immortal leader and lifestyle coach... Discord!
And the award for the most petty and doomed to fail work policy ever implimented is... Harvest McFascism!
That famous screaming Hitler scene from Die Untergang AKA Downfall comes to mind. Only in her case, she doesn't even have underlings to scream at.
One of the most endearing elements of G4M pony mares is how one track-minded they are. Even in the midst of admitting her sins to to two worlds, she has to pay tribute to the first clop scene!
Nothing beats human bed with a pony for creature comforts.
The G.K. was a dark place before the partybringer brought forth baking soda and friendship unto the people of flight.
This is really greedy of me to say, but I do hope Five Stars makes sweet love to another mare at some point.
Best fetish.
Owwwwwwwwwwww! Gives me the shivers just thinking about it. I... think I'm triggered! I need a safe space!
Heavy material for a story like this, but that's really what makes this story so special. Outstanding chapter, sensai!
Sad chapter is sad. Still though, good chapter.
6381417
Agreed. And it is my great hope that the growing backlash will right some of these ridiculous wrongs. In the meantime, I'll do my part my mercilessly mocking it. And if someone gets triggered, so be it.
I have sudden images of him wearing a ballcap and wielding a whistle...
Machiavelli said that it was better to be feared than loved, but in the end, she was neither.
She had a few who barely tolerated her, but undermined her behind her back. People feared Hitler's wrath. His rage wasn't really impotent until near the very end, at least as far as his underlings were concerned. With Harvest... not so much.
All will pay tribute to Five Stars' libido!
So does the pony accessorize the bed? Or vice-versa? Odd, I don't recall my memory foam mattress having the option to add an earth pony...
I can't consider the events of the Griffonstone episode canon to this universe, but I can give at least one small nod to it. Thanks for the prereading suggestions!
We'll see.
For me too... pity I couldn't explore it properly here. but including an explicit clop scene would have been too jarring to the tone of the chapter.
I'm sorry, am I asserting my privilege here?
Thank you, kohai. Your assistance and prereading was appreciated, and I ended up incorporating several of your comments and quips into the story.
6381114
You're welcome! Hopefully you'll still feel the same way once you read it...
6381175
Hindsight is always 20/20. It'll forever be one of the great "what ifs" of her life. But she did learn from it, hard though it was.
6381351
Your comment made me worry it wasn't clear who she was--the hated lead mare of Five Stars' first herd--so I clarified it in the new chapter. And yes, bardic knowledge indeed.
6381689
They can't all be happy endings, sorry. But the important thing is she learns from it.
6381759
I read that as "inserting my privilege". If I ever write a feminism-based comedy futa clopfic, that line is sooo going in!
That's the real tragedy of her character, in my eyes anyway. She's such a sad little mare.
I'll start immediately!
Not today, but tomorrow...
pre15.deviantart.net/1d1c/th/pre/i/2011/333/2/2/dr__insano_by_wildragon-d4ho8qp.jpg
Perhaps one day I will go on to invent Cyrillic like Cyrus's students? Perhaps, I'll just write another clopfic, both are valuable contributions to me.
6381772
Abso-bucking-lutely! Great chapter. I love the tone.
This story is getting awful preachy.
6382143
In what way?
6382219
The long rants about SJWs and feminists. They're not given much in the way of development or characterization, they're just straw men.
6381772 I knew that, I was just commenting on the fact that she shares a name with the Harvest Moon series of video games, which are (broken down to it's simplest form) farming simulators. Sorry fo the confusion.
6383025
I disagree. There have been three chapters where they were mentioned, the mention lasted a page or less each, and they're hardly strawmen. You don't think they'd have to deal with this? And you don't think this is what their reaction would be? I also don't recall any objection when I gave social conservatives the same treatment in earlier chapters. Or is it only okay when I'm doing it to them?
Yes, I'm using this to make a statement on political correctness and SJW idiocy, but it doesn't derail the story or chapter. It's just a continuation of the subplot surrounding the two magazines and the shit they've had to deal with over Five Stars' articles. They're fed up, as am I. I'm sorry you don't like it, but no apologies for it.
6383055
Ah. Apologies then. Still, I think I'll leave the clarification in. I wasn't aware there was a game series sharing her name.
There's one way to completely shut any SJW's of any kind the fuck up: ask them why are they not helping in humanitarian missions to the African continent instead of sitting in their daily-washed asses, or if they're too chicken to get up, pressing their governments to take a steamrolling action against Boko Haram and that ISIS street gang. THAT is social justice, not their feverish discrimination and criminalization of a part of the society that warrants no blanket classification.
Hah, it pleases me greatly that "Harvest" has fallen into social disgrace. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she'll stay tilling dirt and messing with carrots until she gets cracked hooves, or worse, because she got off easy: she's neither homeless, nor diseased, or fighting for a bite of bread or a piece of cardboard to sleep on every single day. She gets no sympathy and no good wishes from me.
I get the feeling that, with all that's come and gone, Five may have turned slightly too much to the bottle to unwind; not to the point of alcoholism, but she just lets it take her along for the emotional ride. And we saw already the few things that have already gone pear-shaped because of an alcohol-infused lack of sense.
Respect for the dead. Now I want to see in Feathered Heart just who blew the shit out of the Cloven that killed our loverboy.
6383138
Actually, I think it kind of is derailing the story.
At first, it was an interesting enough framing device, a means of providing context for what you were writing about Five Star, but as time has gone on, its become less and less valuable, and less and less interesting to the story; in truth, much of what you've written in the 'letters to the editor' sections, both in this one and the one just before are boring and preachy to an unnecessary degree. Beyond that. In many ways, I find it difficult to believe that there would be this sort of reaction and action on the part of individuals opposed to either the business she's promoting, or the graphic content of what is being published, and I have to confess I'm a bit skeptical that any non-adult publication would publish such articles.
6383025 I wish Firesight's description of SJW's wasn't as accurate as it was. I wish such a foul creature of multi-hued hairstyles and strange jargon could not exist, but they do. No strawmen here.
6383493 Ironically, SJW's place Muslims higher in their stack than LGBT folk, and sign on to the notion that the Patriarchal West is largely responsible for the sorry state of the world. Yes, we are responsible for all terrorism ever.
Sadly, we watch people suffer every day under patriarchal and oppressive systems that treat women like garbage and all we get is, "White Supremacist capitalist patriarchy!
6384397
I have no idea why you insist on calling her Five Star. Also, is there an acceptable level of boring and preachy? I wouldn't nitpick like this, but lets face it, you do this sort of thing constantly to stories in this universe.
So all of a sudden the entire premise for this story is no longer acceptable to you? There's really nothing wrong with taking such a position at the start but to revoke your suspension of disbelief at this point comes off as vindictive on your part. Let me be blunt: I think you really need to ask yourself why you read so many stories like this and have only negative things to comment on.
6384397
Sorry you think so, but I don't agree. That 'framing device' is how I've been able to introduce characters like Celestia and Blueblood and tell the story of what's happening around the article publications. Things happen, and then the article preface and editors notes' report on them, keeping readers up-to-date with what's been going on behind the scenes. The magazines and Five Stars have gone from their main antagonists being social conservatives on both sides of the portal to the SJW crowd. I haven't changed my approach to that part of the story over the past ten chapters, only the opponent. I think it works well and will continue to use it.
I don't find it difficult at all. Here in the U.S., I guarantee the social conservative and religious crowd would be up in arms over the frank depictions of interspecies sex and try to shut them down under obscenity laws and everything else they could think of, while the SJW crowd would be upset because Five Stars has said repeatedly that women mistreat men and hold them to impossible standards (among other things), upending many sacred tenets of feminist faith. So yes, they would take heavy fire from both the far left and right over this.
You're contradicting yourself--you say they wouldn't publish it, but there also wouldn't be this sort of a reaction if they did? That doesn't make sense. If they choose not to publish it would be *because* of this expected reaction, but if they didn't expect such a reaction, then why *wouldn't* they publish it?
I'd also remind you this is NYC we're talking about. There are XXX places on every block and topless ladies roam free in Times Square. And have you ever seen the magazines there? They're pretty salacious and often R-rated. Trust me, a magazine there publishing Five Stars' articles isn't as big a stretch as you think.
Blueblood of all ponies detailing his support and journey from opposer to supporter of humanity is boring and preachy? He's about the last pony you'd expect to hold such an opinion or undergo such a change and that alone should make it interesting. An unexpected letter from Harvest Moon in which she tells what happened in the aftermath of Five Stars' first herd is boring? The letter was a little long perhaps, but she was a forgotten figure until that letter and gave me the opportunity to have Five Stars respond to her and reflect on her own journey. These letters are in fact very important to this tale, filling in blanks and backstory.
Now all that said... with respect, the distinct impression I'm getting from you is that you have something against either my story or perhaps even its genre or the Gentlemanverse itself. When I started working on this nearly two years ago, I set out to write an original story in a unique style, utilizing an unusual story format. To this point, I think I've succeeded quite well. It's not a perfect story but I'm very proud of it, and I simply don't think your current criticisms are valid.
Understand, I can take criticism just fine--believe me, I had to grow a thick skin to write for the Turnabout Storm Novelization and its M-rated shipfic sequel--but you'll find me a lot less receptive to what you have to say if you only ever come on here to criticize. Tell me what you like, not just what you don't. I'll be a lot more willing to listen if you do, and so will most other authors for that matter.
6384905
Apparently I simply never noticed I was spelling her name wrong, but these things happen.
Is there an acceptable level of boring? absolutely, no argument from me there; sometimes you need boring in a story. In this case, however, they're trying to be exciting or interesting or whatever and it just comes off flat. But preachy? I'm less certain of.
Simply because I criticize a story doesn't mean I don't like it, and it would be silly to think such a thing. Yes, I've made several comments on several gentlemen stories, but I've criticized other stories elsewhere just as much.
Truly? Someone has to commit to a story completely at the beginning, and nothing they read over the course of the story is allowed to change that? This sort of thing happens all the time, in every form of media.
I don't think the side story in the framing device can truly be called the 'entire premise' of the story.
I read them because I like them, for the most part, but they do have flaws.
6385748
The idea of this story from the beginning is that newspapers on both ends of the portal are publishing this content in newspapers. You seem to have taken a step back and asked why this is happening. If the only thing you're saying here is that you disagree with an element of the story, refer to Firesight's response.
Please understand that other people may not perceive it that way. We don't know you personally, so I rather think it's silly that you would say that's silly. It's advice, if you wont have anything to do with it, so be it.
There is never an appropriate time to be boring. Ever. You can slow things down but there must always be a hook to keep people reading.
6385748
A quick note:
But if you don't say you like it, we're not going to know that. If the only time you come on is to criticize, and the only feedback we ever get from you is negative, we're going to get an impression of you and your overall opinion of our stories you might not mean.
We're authors. We crave feedback, especially positive kind. We want our stories to be good, and have to be willing to listen to criticism in order to make them better, but we're also human--we tend not to listen to people who only come in to tell us what's wrong and not what's right. If you take nothing else away from this, please take that.
6385683
I could respond to more of your response, but I think this provides a better jumping off point:
The reason I often neglect positive comments is that you're already getting positive comments and talking about different things they liked about the story, A lot of the time, I like those things too, yet I feel like it would be pointless to repeat what other people have already said, unless I'm adding to the soup, so to speak. And beyond that, I'll admit it is often difficult for me to write in depth about positive qualities of something. Saying 'I like this story' seems perfectly fine to me, where as saying something like 'this story/chapter/whatever sucks', and then not explaining or attempting to explain why just isn't.
And, I suppose in some sense the fact that I'm taking the time to read and than criticize a work at all is proof, to me of the fact that I'm interested in that work. I've taken the time to A) read it in the first place and B) reflect on it, and C) write out those reflections. But I can see why you might not take it that way, or see it as indicative of a certain passion for a work that drives me to care so much about it that I would want to talk about it.
6387441
I get what you're saying, but that's the wrong attitude to take. It is NEVER pointless to tell someone you like their work and the reasons why even if they've already been said. And no, I do not assume that just because someone is reading my work they like it, given I've already encountered two major instances where people read my stuff just so they could nitpick and attack it, either out of dislike for me or the story genre.
As fanfic authors, we crave feedback, and we live off the positive kind. We do this out of love for the characters and universe we write in, and praise is the currency we get paid in (well, unless I want to set up a Patreon account or something). We need to know that people enjoy our works just as much as how to improve them, and tend not to listen to people whose feedback always seems negative. I am more than happy to listen to your critiques, but I would like to know what you liked just as much as what you didn't. That tells me you speak out of a desire to make the story better rather than one to tear a work or author down.
6414624
You'll see.
6414646 Now see... I didn't get this message. I thought you were ignoring me. There is a bug in the site that prevents alerts for replies that are in a different chapter than the target comment. I only saw it now because I specifically opened the main story page back up and jumped to the last page to check the timestamp on my comments. For readers to get the alert on previous chapters' comments you have to open that chapter.
6437038
Sorry, wasn't aware of that. Regardless, hope you've enjoyed the story.
This story is pretty bang-on amazing, but I'm kinda stunned that she was able to forgive two guys that gave her drugs that almost killed her, but not the mare that ended a herd.
I guess that's just the Equestrian mare impulse to protect stallions....
10377544
Thank you! There are a couple differences, if you think about it. First, the two guys were immensely remorseful and knew they screwed up about as badly as possible, while the mare that ended a herd showed no remorse for a long time. And second, they served their time and then made every effort to atone afterwards by becoming the best herd stallions and sires they could, including to two of Five Stars' friends. So in her eyes, they ultimately earned it. And don't forget the lengths they went to in trying to save her after her overdose, which Five Stars wasn't aware of until long after the fact.