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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I am very impress by how your story feels very much like a newspaper article. Very good job on the realism!
That chapter confirms a theory I've held for a long time: It's impossible to write a serious, clop-oriented story without chapters where there's no clop at all
By the way, when I saw the title I thought it was about the day humanity and ponykind made contact, and I did not expect any changelings
I swear to you I will get more people to read this. It deserves attention.
3797142
That's exactly what I'm going for! Thanks for saying so!
3797673
I subscribe to that theory as well. If you make every chapter cloppy, then it's not a serious story any longer. There need to be some breaks along the way to allow for the character development and storytelling that make the clop more meaningful. In truth, I thought about ending this chapter with her and Rising Star getting it on, but decided that simply wouldn't be right--there was a better lesson and chapter to be had by not doing so.
Hope you weren't disappointed, then. But now that I think about it, you're right--that would have been a good title for the first contact chapter...
3800489
Thanks! I'd be very grateful to you if you can... do you still want to pre-read? If you're too busy or otherwise unavailable, I'll understand.
3801404
Yes, I'll continue. My motherboard died recently and I'm still trying to get the new one to work properly, so I'm stuck using this super-slow laptop which makes editor stuff difficult most of the time. Hopefully I'll be able to use my desktop computer again soon.
3807723
Sorry to hear. I know that sucks. Probably be another week or two before the next chapter is ready anyway, so hopefully you'll be fully up and running again before that. Appreciate your willingness to help either way.
There's really nothing much to say, really. It's enjoyable, easy to read. I await for more.
3846085
Wow... that's very high compliment coming from you! Thanks!!!! Btw, did I get the star arrangement of her cutie mark right in the story graphic?
3850496
Yup, you got it right. From the comments, it'll be two weeks before an update? Looking forward to it.
went and re-read this chapter cuz it's one of my favorites. i totally agree that it can't be all clop - to portray fivestars as someone who has morals and standards she tries to live up to only makes me love her more.
i don't know what demon eyes laharl had for this character (future, past, motivation, personality, likes and dislikes) aside for the brief appearance she had in gentleman for mares so it makes me happy that this time around the focus is on fivestars.
thank you for adding heartwarming depth and personality to this character (not to mention an effing good story!!!)
i know she's happy with her work in gentlemen for mares but i still wish she finds the mate she wants and deserves... pony, human, or otherwise.
again thank you for making this beautiful chapter.
4606802
Thank you for the compliments! You're very welcome... this is one of my favorite chapters too. I was going for something deeper than simple clop with this story, and I'm pleased to know you think I've succeeded.
Can't speak for DEL, but I know where I'm going with Five Stars. In my mind, there *is* someone/pony out there for her, but I'm not going to say any more than that... except to promise that I'll get there eventually, if not in this story then the next.
I just can't say enough good things about your work. You're in position to become one of the most well-known authors here.
Can't stop, and I don't want to. This story's too good
So, so good. Second chapter to literally bring a tear to my eye. Thank you for the work and soul you put into this story.
I know I am vary late to this story and I see several comments on the chapters but I really need to say just how good this story is this story is not only written vary well but the message behind it is just perfect.
yes this story is hitting vary close to home for me in several ways as I broke my #1 rule look at the mother watch the mother as that is how the doter / sun will turn out if it was and is not for the fact that I love my kids I would have ditched my wife years ago.
but the clock is ticking my boy is 17 now one more year and some one gets walking papers.
ok yes I know this is getting way personal from me but I just don't give a rats ass.
Chapter 14 is going to be the end of me! Save me, 5SS!
cdn-img.fimfiction.net/story/fuca-1432496101-119190-full
I can only dream of living in Amareica!
Five Stars: I'm a man; I'm unhappy, and I need your help. Please, please, please read chapter 14 for me so I don't have to! I'm begging you!
What do you mean that's not the kind of help you give men?
I don't know if it's nepotism or little-girl-self-insertism, but is ism all right! Luckiest family in Equestria right there!
We call her Chryssy. Some guys are really into her!
Phoenix did say Equestria was rather cliche in TLaTU.
Thankfully, she actually fought back with honor in the season 6 opener. She was stuck with her reputation of losing fights easy for far too long though.
I think a few too many of us know that feeling. And should our rage ever be unleashed fully, there will be the devil to pay for the bastards responsible...
Maud would be proud!
Forerunners to the Red Talons?
Sure beats the alternative of having your ears underwater, Lily!
Let it go, Rose. Let it go...
Hoofy kicks! Adorable pony, hoofy kicks! D'aaaw! Dammit, chapter fourteen, why did they all have to die like that!?
Sometimes the sex scene you don't write is the best sex you can write. It's a lesson I've taken to heart from studying your work and listening to your teachings. This chapter is a solid piece of history in the writing from somepony who was there and experienced it firsthand. Rising Star teaches us all a great lesson about professionalism as well: the only time you can cry is when it's all over. I can't help but admire he strength as a person.
She knows what we've seen!
Stay strong, best OC! Well... hmm. Isn't Littlepip best OC? I can't decide!
intention
Lime green and jet black are usually an evil combination. Look at Maleficent or Scar.