Daily work for this astronaut, until everything goes wrong. How would a scientist react when facing things science can't explain, when dropped in a world technologically behind of a few centuries. Or is he simply going insane?
Chapters (15)
LightStriker
Joined 25th Feb, 2012 ·
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WEIRD!!!! I just mentioned this in the chat!!! HAHAHAHA
There's a few errors here and there, but it's quite late and I don't particularly feel like being a grammar corrector atm, save for one thing: Nature and Sure don't rhyme very well. Perhaps something like "It could have been created by a spell. I'm sure she would be able to tell." would be better there.
You did quite well overall for someone who speaks English as a second language, however. The story is quite engaging and I look forward to reading more.
277437
Thanks, if you don't mind, I'm using that.
In my mind "nature" and "sure" rhymed pretty well until you pointed it and I actually said them out loud.
I really like this. Spelling errors are really the only problem. But they're not too bad. You got capitalization and punctuation down.
This is going to be an awesome story, there are a few errors but nothing too bad, keep doing what you're doing.
Good basic storyline, but in need of massive gramatical and conventional overhaul. By the way, it's "Zecora" and "Hallucination"
281701
Keep those grammar check coming. I will fix them as they come in.
+ Indentation for ease of reading.
Dude. This is freaking amazing. Still some spelling here and there, but nothing significant.
And a scientific name for ponies. That's new to me.
Amazing story, but you had a few errors here and there.
I will be awaiting more.
I concur with everyone else, this story really is quite good so far. The errors don't really detract from the experience, which is quite a rare occurrence. I look forward to seeing more.
One thing? You should probably replace "wanted to excuse herself" with "wanted an excuse to come herself", since Twilight's coming, not going.
288770
"and she wanted to make some excuses, from what I understood."
Make more senses?
She didn't need an excuse to come, she wanted to come to present some excuses for shooting a rock at him.
289205
Sounds more like you're shooting for Twilight wanting to apologize.
289328
Not what I said? Ah damn. Thanks, I see now.
my god, moar.
I'm sorry if the build up is a bit slow. It just takes time to put characters and events in place the way I want them to be.
>>LightStriker
I don't care. Slow build up is good, done right. And to me, this is good.
If the first spell Mark learns is lighting himself on fire, WITHOUT damaging himself, I will be a happy pony.
You could also do some stuff with magnetic fields, since humans have that magnetite in their brains that nobody knows why it's there.
Okay, two little nit-picks:
No magic for Human! It drives me away from an HiE and is kinda stupid. Even in a fic, a human should not be able to do magic. If they can't do it here on Earth, why should they somehow be able to in Equestria?
Also, why so much Doctor Whooves? It's done so many times in HiE's that it's no longer funny.
But that's just me. If you really feel like writing that, I suppose I shouldn't be one to get mad.
But I swear to god, no HumanxPony relationships if something like that occurs.
299953
Trust me, he won't be doing any magic. I thought I made it clear when he said to himself that maybe only ponies can do it. If you consider burning yourself inside out as a spell... Well maybe that's the only one he does. But even that, there's a reason for this to exist.
As to why so much Doctor? In this case, it gives me an outsider, a kind of neutral observer with some informations that couldn't be found by any of the current parties. He showed up for a few lines now and that's it for quite a while.
Similar to Planet of the Apes, the story is about the guy finding what happened to humanity, but unlike it, his presence has a reason outside from only providing an interresting setup.
Ok, I still have to make it all happen, but it's all there in my head... somewhere...
300331
zuh. story's great either way.
There are some (many
) spelling and grammar mistakes, that is only to be expected.
But I really like the way you think, the way you write and the ideas you've come up with. This is definitely one of the better 'Human in Equestria' stories. Well done and keep going with it!
You deserve more views.
Am I the only one thinking they're gonna find Las Vegas or Los Angeles?
*GAAAASP*
Since most of their known world is north, that could mean some smaller nations or even massive nations could have been frozen in time, much like the Nevada/Mojave desert! The United States and Canada Midwest could be completely saved by time! Amazing!
"...with the continental drift, we are talking ten of thousand of years. Maybe more."
For continental drift to be significant, you'd be looking at tens of millions of years. And very little artificial gets preserved over that span of time.
BTW, my philosophy of technological progress is different from Mark's. We learned some hard lessons from The Bomb. If we'd gotten The Bomb sooner, I figure we would have learned sooner. So... I wouldn't be so hesitant to teach them, and I'd warn them about what they're getting at the same time. (Although, I'd probably start by showing them how to make a fountain pen without magic!)
When we detonated our first atomic bomb in testing, the lead scientist was huddled up on the floor. because he thought it would set the athmosphere on fire killing everyone on the planet.
find a peaceful planet, filled with ponies. show them how to make a nuclear bomb, Great Idea (sarcasm).
Not going that way. Not planning to change their civilization anyway.
I find stories that messed up established parameters to be quite annoying. I prefer a story that gives a different point of view of known facts or events.
And I, for one, would have no idea how to show to a civilization without manufacturing abilities how to mass produce something like a pen. The precision put into those small buggers is quite amazing.
I went with the pen because I needed that auto-filling spell later. You can probably imagine already why.
P.S.: He said tens of thousand of years. But he is no geologist...
fantastic
Alright! Enough background story! Time for action!
(And some shaving)
*mind fuck overload*.....Dam.....Just.....Epic
Great, great chapter, who is the guy at the end? i'd like to know.
Btw First
338983
Isn't that a bit obvious?
I thougth it was.
> A kind of sas?
I'm totally befuddled as to what this word, and sentence, was meant to convey.
> He didn't really know how long the ride took, but it felt like hours.
You know, if you get to about 4 km deep (which the world's deepest mines are now approaching) you start running into some serious heat problems. Then again... I suspect that some sort of geothermal energy may be the only way to power an installation like that over such long time spans.
The whole global warming aspect of your exposition leaves me cold (so to speak, haha!). The current CO2 bubble is a temporary thing, and there's not enough fossil fuels in the world to keep it going for very long. The best predictions are, once the CO2 runs out then our current interglacial period will end, and we'll have another ice sheet advance. (I blame the Wendigos!)
If you want to talk about serious ecosystem collapse, you'd better look at what all our pollution and overfishing is doing to the world's oceans. That's the real crisis that hardly gets any press.
The similarities of this story to Planet of the Apes are obvious, but it also got me started thinking about the old Kamandi comics which really dialed the craziness up to 11. I'd love to see a FiM-Kamandi crossover. Kamandi had one of the most insane post-apocalyptic settings ever imagined.
339156
Oh wow... I actually had to google what "Kamandi" was. I had no idea.
Sas... He was only explaining to himself why he thought there was multiple door. I guess I could not explain so much things.
Felt like hours. Didn't say it took hours. He had no point of reference on how fast he was moving or hold long it took. But stuck in a metal box, everything appear to take longer. And on the internet, everything appear to be shorter.
As for the CO2 thing, once it's released in the atmosphere, there's no getting it back in the ground aside from a very long time with tree sucking it up and storing it underground. (And we are kinda cutting those trees and messing with the ocean that also stores it) Basicly, once you release it, you're kinda screwed. Once Earth started warming up, what would actually stop it? Even if we were to stop releasing CO/CO2, there's already a huge mass of it in the air that already started warming our asses up. What would stop Earth from storing more thermal energy? I'm basicly pushing the idea that a system as huge as a planet is basicly not something you stop with the press of a button once it's started moving in a direction.
But after all, it's a story.
ahhhhhhh mindfuck!
339224
And here's everything you need to know about how messed-up Kamandi's world is...
images.wikia.com/mutant-future/images/4/40/Kamandi's_world.jpg
339355
Holy!
Alright, I'm not at 11 yet on the insani-scale. 8... Maybe 8.5.
A VERY good story! MOAR!!!
339136
it is not obvious to me.
Freaking awesome chapter! I love the survival tools idea. BUT-can't take a bath --> has infinite water supply in bag...
And if I remember correctly, Cheyenne Mountain isn't in Colorado Springs. Minor detail. Also... 2142...is that a randomly picked number?
340877
"Cheyenne Mountain is a mountain located just outside the southwest side of Colorado Springs, Colorado, U.S., and is home to the Cheyenne Mountain Air Force Station and its Cheyenne Mountain Directorate, formerly known as the Cheyenne Mountain Operations Center (CMOC)." - Wikipedia
I'm pretty sure it is. I watched too much Stargate. And it is fairly close to Las Vegas, 2 states away.
In the middle of the desert, with a shower of water. You would end up in a mud bath.
He can spray himself some water, but a real bath/shower... pretty hard.
As for 2142... No reason. (Aside BF2142) But seriously, just needed a date far enough from his own to justify the advance in technology, enough for human survival. In 130, will we be able to go out there and explore, even if terribly slowly? I hope so.
340894
Oh well, no matter! Looking forward to the next chapter!
I have internet and I don't bother to look locations up... stupid me.
Yay Dr. Who at the end!
.............So.........Twilight is basicly a pony sized Tarzar Bomb?
360856
Damn... You do read fast!
360916Its a curse*sheds tear*
360924
How so? Stories go too fast?
Well, it only means more story to read!
360930Yes but it makes the good ones go by so fast ;(
Wonderful!. I was excited when the doctor showed up, and my favorite too, but I certainly didn't expect it to end in the destruction of the entire world. Can't wait for the next chapter.
........ What just happened?
.... Allright..... he warped through space to get to twilights house, big black smoke killed the princesses as well as Rainbow Dash and Applebloom, Mark and the Doctor his in the TARDIS, and the world blew up. Anything im missing?
World blew up...dont know what to say...We need to go Deeper...inception quote, but thats all that came to mind.
I think I understand the Doc's thought processes upon hearing "Allons-y".
1) This guy knows that word.
2) I've never met him before.
3) He doesn't know who I am.
4) Therefore, there's at least one other time lord out there somewhere.