• Member Since 16th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen March 17th

HiddenUnderACouch


What's that smell? Is it blood?!... No, it's a Snickers bar... But what is inside?

Comments ( 14 )

Okay, first things first, before I read this fully and give a review, formatting is off, you need to space your paragraphs more, have at least one full line of empty space when you make a new paragraph, it makes it that much easier to read on the eyes. I'll be reading this now and i'll overlook that fact.

FRAK I THOUGHT I SENT THIS HOURS AGO!!!! MY BAD!!! Got called away and watched a movie ^^;; Anyways onto the original review.

Okay I've now read the chapter in full and I can say that this will most definitely be an interesting story to read, you have minimal mistakes that a good proof-reader can fix. getting back to the formatting, When you had the blank spaces think about adding a second blank line to create the same effect you have going on right now.

Looks pretty cool. But if it is a Crossover with System Shock, make sure you mark one of the stories topics as "Crossover"!

3142623 If at some point I decided to make it a crossover, I will definetaly add such tag!

This... actually seems really interesting.
I'll read it later.

I am pleasantly surprised by this. :pinkiehappy:

Good chapter hope to see more soon, also mad Ai... this kinda reminds me of dead space.:facehoof:

3162178 I don't know. I was inspired by System Shock when writing this, not Dead Space :derpytongue2:

3163711 just the creatures Kinda remind me of necromorphs, can't wait for the next chapter.:twilightsmile:

I'm starting to think the insane AI is Celestia.

am I close?:twilightsmile:

3194574 Quite close, yes. But not the center. All answers shall be revealed as the story progresses.

....how long ago did this happen for fungus to start growing? And why do i feel like we will end up supporting the 'rouge'? Has Psi been digitalized?
Ah so many questions can't wait for the update

Login or register to comment