For the majority of her life, Fluttershy travelled through Equestria. Being a monster hunter is not exactly the most easiest thing in the world - she remembers at least twenty times when she could have died. Blood and death are quite often in the path she walks - but it is her job, and she is the best at her job.
Not long ago, she received a letter from Mayor Mare, offering her another contract - this time, she has to travel to Ponyville, and deal with their problems. With the arsenal of deadly weaponry, the cold professionalism in her heart and, of course, the famous wide-brimmed hat, she heads out to Ponyville.
Edited by: MessoriaAQ.
Chapters (6)
That was...I can't even describe how amazing that was no doubt it was the best read I ever had and will probably stay that way this is defintly the best story on this site I have ever read
2892007
Thank you. As a novice-fic writer these words mean a lot to me, and I can't even describe in how many ways!
sooooo much epicness in this story u need to write one for scoots as well if u feel up to it
Really good story bro, keep writing!!
It kills my insides that this doesn't have more views, a truly epic read.
SPOILERS AHEAD!
Ay, after a whole week of interruptions and breaks, I was still able to finish it! I found this story while looking though thy works. While not everything struck my fancy there, I found this one and said to myself "That's going to be the next one on mine E-Reader!". I was a little sceptical at first. Fluttershy being a huntress of monsters seemed like a pretty foreign concept to me, then again, I like new things. And the phrase about the wide-brimmed hat in the story's description helped a lot.
The first things I noticed were that your world seems pretty dark, to not say rotten on the inside; beggars, poverty, and starvation. Nearly everything is different from the canon, which I found highly enjoyable. Your world seemed well thought through and the chapters were interesting and characters developed nicely through the story. Small things like the "Van" before a hunter's name and your ideas of Flutters' weaponry added a nice flare to it. That and Van Fluttershy sounded awesome. By the time I finished the first chapter, I was like "Fuck, she's a badass. But why should she be any different from the canon?"
The fightscenes were, like the last time, highly enjoyable. While still gore-y, they weren't overly so which is a very delicate balance to keep, if you ask me. It was interesting to see the characters of the mane 6 (at least those who lived in Ponyville, as Twi wasn't there) in their positions. They were all placed in reasonable ways, I could easily imagine RD as a Guard, or Pinkie as an animatrisse at the childs' wing in the hospital. Then there was the blow, RD missed an eye and it was apparently Fluttershy's fault. I figured that this, as well as the hostility towards Dash, was part of the reason for Flutters being a monster huntress in the first place and I eagerly read on to see why.
Flutters was a mystery to me, but I noticed that the orphanage wing in the Ponyville hospital invoked some hard feelings for her, especially when she read the words on the child's drawing "Mommy, daddy, take me home." Again I saw a piece of Flutters' equipment and I had to smirk, Angel the hoofwaistgun! That was a nice little reference, have a moustache for that
The first encounter of Scoots and Fluttershy was very cute, but one could clearly see that Flutters was neither used to taking to children nor to real conversations at all at that point
Fluttershy and her master. These two were most likely not really sociallizing types when they were still together, still, I liked Amos. He understood Flutters' better than anyone, though, we were left to guess why he could read her so easily in the first place, kinda unnerving.
Rainbow Dash for one was, in my opinon, nothing but a dick through the entire thing. I blame her, solely her for Flutters' suffering. Then again, if she really had told Fluttershy about her joining the Guards, the whole monster hunter business might've not happened in the first place. I still hate her for it. That song Fluttershy wrote about RD, I somehow connect it to this song.. You may not understand the lyrics but they're awefully fitting.
The memories of Fluttershy and her mentor were surprisingly deep and profound. That surprised me a bit, because I really got to think about some of them. My favourite quote:
The plottwist with the changelings was a little sudden, but it the story's climax didn't suffer from that in the slightest. I was impressed of what methods of torture thou camest up with, and I found myself hating that dick Prince of dickland every second of it. The part of Fluttershy harnessing her hatred and agony she endured to break free and rescue Scoots was interesting, because it was something I haven't expected.
Sadly, I didn't see much of Scoots, my favourite filly.
But I fear that because the sequel is set up serveral years after the events of this story, we won't see much of that, which I find sad, because I'd really like to see Scoots develop on the journey with Fluttershy. I mean, surely they can't live securely in Equestria anymore with changelings wanting to lynch Fluttershy. I kinda hoped you'd write a sequel which is set up in an entirely different country (aye, not every fanfiction needs to be set in Equestria) where Scoots learns from Fluttershy. Point is, I ,for one, would like to see Scoots development under Fluttershy's tutelage, and having a sequel set up serveral years in the future is counterproductive.
Another thing I wanted to ask about was: Fluttershy once mentioned the mare in the moon. What will happen when she gets free? I don't see how they can wield the Elements if Fluttershy is kinda on the run from changelings.
The story was overall an epic little grimdark adventure with some lighter moments and I enjoyed every second of it. You should really write one of your grimdark frics with Scoots being the main character, that'd be cool. Have my upvote! Take it, now!!
If you read till here, then I have to say, you have an extraordinary attention span. But that wasn't what I wanted to say last. It is kind of a critic. Your grammar, makes it difficult to read on some edges. Missing words like articles and such. Do you already have an editor?
That's all I wanted to say. Now I shall resume mine important task of armwrestling Thor for a watermelon.
Abschied, mein Freund.
3228457 Thank you for a new long review! Let's start, shall we?
My grammar here is bad, yes. You know why? It was the second fanfiction I have ever wrote. Yeah!
The world is dark, as I was under impression of Diablo. I wanted to make something in that kind of setting - dark, grim, evil.
Also, be not afraid of not seeing Scoots in the sequel - through these years, her skills have improved, but her personality didn't change too much. She can fight, but she's still the same small filly. When I get to continue the sequel, I will get deeper into that. Besides, if I ever finish the sequel, I will make spin-offs with Scoots, with her as the main heroine. I already have a design in my head, and a good plot.
About the editor, no, right now, I don't have any. One kind soul has agreed to be my pre-reader/proofreader for my Sombra story - surprise, I am going to rework it. Especially the prologue, the childhood and the romance parts. Check out his review, it is very thorough and good, just like yours!
3228457 That is a beautiful song, btw. Made me cry a bit after looking through my story again
3228599
His review brought some things up that I haven't really thought about. It's good to see serveral opinions. You said you had no editor, I'd volunteer for it if you'd like. Though, I'll probably be a little slow 'cause school's a bitch.
Yes, I really like that song too. Funnily enough, it heard it in the radio when I read your story and I was like, "Damn, canst thou read my mind, radio?"
If you asked youself about the lyrics:
If my hand is a fist, you open it
and lay yours in mine.
You whisper sentences carefully through all the noise
as if they where my sextant and my compass.
(Refrain)
Applause, applause
for your words
my heart opens up
when you laugh!
Applause, applause
for your way to enthuse me
don't ever stop that!
I wish so much,
you'll never stop doing that!
If my earth is a plate, you make it round again.
You show me in a silent way what it means to be far-sighted.
If I want to bash my head against a wall
you put helmet and hammer in my hands
(2x refrain)
Frankly, they read better in the original, but that is what translations do.
3228686 Thank you, I will really appreciate that.
Do not worry, school gobbles up my time as well, very, very stressful, so we're on even footing.
Thank you for the lyrics, as the song is definately going into my Mp3 player now!